Life...
I am going to Seville for an entire year of my life. I expect it to be the most exciting, frustrating, invigorating experience of my life and I am looking forward to it whole-heartedly. So where's the problem? It is going to be unbearable beyond words to be separated from Mark. And not only him but everyone else. He has a fear that when i go to Spain i will come back and not run straight into his arms. The whole world will be at my fingertips to explore and the new perspective I may gain may not include Mark.
This is indeed a possibility; however it is a highly unlikely one and I will tell you why, it is because of four letters. L O V E. I love Mark. Mind bendingly, completely, utterly, he has stolen my heart and has no intention of giving it back. My very essence and soul have more understanding when I look into the blues of his eyes. There has never been more clarity for me than when I gaze into his penetrating stare; and know that he can see straight into my soul. It is the best feeling in the world.
So why am I worried? I am worried that if the worst happens and Mark and I don't stay together that people will look at me differently and judge me for it. It is completely stupid i know because I am scared of something that will not happen for more than a year but it is still something I must face and this means that unfortunately I must think about it. And it may never happen.
Mark says that I will be lonely. This is true and not. I know that I will meet some great people in Spain that I will be glad to call friends, but I also know that the friends I have here, the bonds are unshakeable and if anything me being away for a year will only strengthen those bonds. I love everyone so much.
So hear is what I am going to do: I am going to stop worrying about this for right now and keep it in the back of my mind. Instead I am going to devote all my time to all of my amazing friends and family and boyfriend until I have to cross that bridge. I think perhaps I will try and live up to quote that I put up in my yearbook: "Never stop smiling, never stop trying, live life to its fullest." This is what I must do; this is what i will do. I get by with a little help from my friends. If anyone has any thoughts or comments in general I would love to hear them.
This is indeed a possibility; however it is a highly unlikely one and I will tell you why, it is because of four letters. L O V E. I love Mark. Mind bendingly, completely, utterly, he has stolen my heart and has no intention of giving it back. My very essence and soul have more understanding when I look into the blues of his eyes. There has never been more clarity for me than when I gaze into his penetrating stare; and know that he can see straight into my soul. It is the best feeling in the world.
So why am I worried? I am worried that if the worst happens and Mark and I don't stay together that people will look at me differently and judge me for it. It is completely stupid i know because I am scared of something that will not happen for more than a year but it is still something I must face and this means that unfortunately I must think about it. And it may never happen.
Mark says that I will be lonely. This is true and not. I know that I will meet some great people in Spain that I will be glad to call friends, but I also know that the friends I have here, the bonds are unshakeable and if anything me being away for a year will only strengthen those bonds. I love everyone so much.
So hear is what I am going to do: I am going to stop worrying about this for right now and keep it in the back of my mind. Instead I am going to devote all my time to all of my amazing friends and family and boyfriend until I have to cross that bridge. I think perhaps I will try and live up to quote that I put up in my yearbook: "Never stop smiling, never stop trying, live life to its fullest." This is what I must do; this is what i will do. I get by with a little help from my friends. If anyone has any thoughts or comments in general I would love to hear them.