for a moment...
for a moment
i was the mother
of one
one tiny girl
limp and staring into the world
somewhere else entirely
it wasnt a moment
i would ever choose
to experience
not.
once.
but 10 times, plus...
she is bruised, poked
she is scrached
she is like a living circut board, covered in little wires
she is strong, they tell me
she is exausted
and when she is at her best,
ive come to expect the worst.
those terrifing seconds,
when my child will not
cannot
respond,
isnt there inside herself
i swayed
i teetered, i sang to my son, i drew
as i waited for my baby
to come out of her MRI
to wake up from
anisteasia
this place will not defeat me.
do not hyperventelate
says my mom, before she leaves me
ok. i dont try to fight her,
absantly, almost as absant as her..
okay, i wont
and i realize that in the frenzy,
no one got her any balloons.
not yet.
...not yet, thats how much news we have
from all the tests.
i was the mother
of one
one tiny girl
limp and staring into the world
somewhere else entirely
it wasnt a moment
i would ever choose
to experience
not.
once.
but 10 times, plus...
she is bruised, poked
she is scrached
she is like a living circut board, covered in little wires
she is strong, they tell me
she is exausted
and when she is at her best,
ive come to expect the worst.
those terrifing seconds,
when my child will not
cannot
respond,
isnt there inside herself
i swayed
i teetered, i sang to my son, i drew
as i waited for my baby
to come out of her MRI
to wake up from
anisteasia
this place will not defeat me.
do not hyperventelate
says my mom, before she leaves me
ok. i dont try to fight her,
absantly, almost as absant as her..
okay, i wont
and i realize that in the frenzy,
no one got her any balloons.
not yet.
...not yet, thats how much news we have
from all the tests.