Comments | icedteainthebag: [bsg] Fic: Upon My Impending Third Death

icedteainthebag

[bsg] Fic: Upon My Impending Third Death

Nov 18, 2009 08:04

Title: Upon My Impending Third Death
Author: icedteainthebag
Pairing(s)/Character: John Cavil
Rating: R, for self-injury & language
Summary: What a frakkin’ bitch.
Word Count: 853
Author's Notes: Written for the Autumn 2009 bsgficexchange. Missing scene from Exodus, Part II.

Getting into Cavil's head has been interesting. I can't wait to get out.

( Hurts, huh? Good. Then I hope it hurts a long, long time ‘til you go to download city. )

cavil, bsgficexchange

Comments 34

scullyseviltwin November 18 2009, 14:18:52 UTC

As you know, I don't watch BSG, but I wanted to compliment you on your choice of an eye-grabbing title. I was all "Bwuuuuuuuh... now I'm intrigued." :)

icedteainthebag November 18 2009, 14:25:38 UTC

Yessss. It's all about the lure. ;)

if it intrigues you.... you should waaaaaaaaaatch. *beckons you to the dark side*

dashakay November 18 2009, 14:57:39 UTC

I have to agree with the completely awesome choice of title.

And OMG, this was painful and for one second, I even felt for Cavil. Only one second, though. ;-)

Loved this: Ah, resurrection. He’ll come back, the same old John Cavil, but more jaded and angry than ever. There’s something about this process that does this to him. It’s like it refines his hatred, gives it room to grow.

Dude, you KILL me with your awesomeness!

icedteainthebag November 18 2009, 15:19:07 UTC

I had to give Cavil a little sympathy, you know? He's such a motherfucker usually. ;) But there is something very appealing, in a sick and twisted way, about that.

Thank you sweetness! ♥

larsfarm77 November 18 2009, 15:49:17 UTC

Though I didn't manage to feel anything for Cavil (I just can't), I love the matter of factness in this story. Particularly:

He doesn’t have to worry about that nonsense. He is bleeding out on the gravel with a morbid satisfaction that his resurrection is guaranteed. He has technology on his side. His resurrection is scientifically proven, an infallible, dependable afterlife experience.

Though he could live without waking up in that bath of synthetic amniotic fluid.

The pain seared through his abdomen again, throbbing with his heartbeat.

Best not to be ungrateful. Okay. I got it.

Death lacks fear and uncertainty for Cylons, so Cavil's seeming calm is perfect, as is the matter of fact way he goes about trying to speed his death. Cylons don't hang on to try to say one more thing to the person they love before they're gone; they can do that in a few hours, strong and healthy again.

Loved this insight into Cavil's head -- awesome job!!

icedteainthebag November 18 2009, 15:53:32 UTC

((((Lars)))) Thank you for the feedback :)

It's totally acceptable that you didn't feel anything for Cavil. I am having struggles with giving him sympathy as well, but that being said, it must suck to wait to die. ;)

I'm in awe of the idea of being able to accept death so easily. It's a really interesting concept to explore.

Thanks, bro. *fist bump* Now, back to your regularly scheduled Evil!As!Frak!Cavil!

larsfarm77 November 18 2009, 16:45:47 UTC

It's totally acceptable that you didn't feel anything for Cavil. I am having struggles with giving him sympathy as well, but that being said, it must suck to wait to die.

Totally agree on the end bit. It's all Anne's fault, actually :). She copied the darkest scene I've ever written into my journal for the fic meme (out of the context of the fic, it's even harsher), and I'd just spent more than half an hour responding when I read your fic. It involves Cavil. I'm not plugging this fic (Trust me, you don't want to go to my journal to read the scene Anne pulled. It needs to be read in the context of the fic it's part of, or not at all), I just wanted to let you know that it wasn't your fault that I wasn't feeling anything for him.

somadanne November 18 2009, 19:58:08 UTC

Hee, you blame me, I'll blame you (and Tea). Cavil has really been on the forefront of things around here lately, hasn't he? I can't feel anything for him, either.

Thread 8

untoldsarcasm November 18 2009, 16:57:49 UTC

I LOVE CAVIL! There, I said it.

The difference is that he will resurrect and they won’t. They’ll just die, fanciful dreams of Elysium Fields dancing through their heads. He wonders what it would be like to lie in uncertainty, wondering if an entire life’s worth of devotion to a belief is enough to convince someone, at the moment of their death, that it was all gonna be okay.

He doesn’t have to worry about that nonsense. He is bleeding out on the gravel with a morbid satisfaction that his resurrection is guaranteed. He has technology on his side. His resurrection is scientifically proven, an infallible, dependable afterlife experience.
*some subdued form of flailing* This appeals to my morbid fascination with the beliefs of others. And there's just something about the way he sees it all that really gets me.

You have Cavil's voice down, it's kinda scary how well you pulled it off.

Such an interesting insight into the wonderful (ha) mind of Cavil. So, so good. *loves*

icedteainthebag November 18 2009, 20:39:15 UTC

You have Cavil's voice down, it's kinda scary how well you pulled it off.

Shall I say I've been practicing? ;) That I've had a lot of practice lately?

This is the best kind of compliment I could receive, really. You have NO idea how much it means to me at this point.

I'm so happy you liked this fic. It's always a risk when I take on a new character. Thanks for reading and commenting.

grey_sw November 18 2009, 19:26:04 UTC

heh, this is wonderful! I especially like the detail about resurrection as a lens for Cavil's hatred; I can really see that. Cavil as Scar -- how perfect is that?

I also love the title! One of the fun things about The Plan is that they actually bothered to match this up (Cavil dies once in the bar with Ellen (presumably), once in the airlock, and then this was the third time). Guess it must've been at least five resurrections by the end, not counting any random suicides or slips in the shower... mmm, that's a lotta sweet, sweet hatred. >:)

Poor guy genocidal maniac machine, he just never gets a break. :D

icedteainthebag November 18 2009, 20:47:47 UTC

I'm so happy you liked him. I was a little intimidated when I got you for the exchange, because I don't normally write Cylons and I knew you were all about them, but I feel like I understand Cavil more than most of them. Now THAT sounded scary. :)

I'm so happy The Plan at least did that right. lol. I wonder how that fifth resurrection felt, probably worse than a hot poker to the brain :)

LOL... awww, your sympathy for Cavil is kind of sweet. :)

Thanks for reading!

grey_sw November 18 2009, 21:45:44 UTC

I'm so happy you liked him. I was a little intimidated when I got you for the exchange, because I don't normally write Cylons and I knew you were all about them, but I feel like I understand Cavil more than most of them. Now THAT sounded scary. :)

Hurrah! I appreciate it, it was really nice of you to make such an honest effort. Not to worry, your Cavil was perfect. >:)

I'm so happy The Plan at least did that right. lol. I wonder how that fifth resurrection felt, probably worse than a hot poker to the brain :)

Especially since Boomer must've been like "get the frak out of the goo tub, we have to get off the hub right now!" He probably didn't even get time to relax in his fluffy bathrobe. :P

LOL... awww, your sympathy for Cavil is kind of sweet. :)I have tons of sympathy for him -- I think he was more-or-less right about almost everything (though I'm with hat!Cavil on the general utility of KILLING EVERYONE BECAUSE MOMMY DOESN'T LOVE ME... but hey, every hero has to have a tragic flaw, right? His is just sort of more... um, nuke-y ( ... )