Simulation (PT III)
Previous parts: (PART I) (PART II)
*~~~~~~*~~~~~~*
Saturday finally arrived. Nerves and hormone levels flew high in Ninomiya. He was anxious the entire time he waited for Ohno to arrive at the train station. After talking to Aiba, he wondered if his “Get Satoshi Back” plan was going to work. But then what would happen to Matsumoto? And who could tell what was going to happen to Ohno, who was torn between them. Ninomiya didn’t want to think about it.
This was between him and Ohno, he told himself. It was a date for him and Ohno. It was only going to be the two of them. Just them.
Ninomiya could see it now: Ohno frolicking down the beach, splashing water up at Ninomiya as he was chased by him. The two of them embracing in the sunset.
“Nino-chan! I’m so sorry!” Ohno said trying to catch his breath.
“You’re late.”
“I overslept. I’m sorry!”
Ninomiya smiled at the flustered man and rubbed the back of his neck before picking up his bag and heading to the train.
The train ride was mostly silent between the two of them. Both nervous as hell, they attempted to converse, but it mostly turned into a talk about work. There was really nothing new to talk about and Ninomiya was trying to block Matsumoto from his mind when he started to think of what he could do to Ohno on the island. Ohno was fumbling with the aglets on his sweatshirt, trying to calm his racing heart.
It was difficult for the both of them not to do anything. Difficult for Ohno to not grab Ninomiya’s hand. Difficult for Ninomiya to stop himself from thinking of apologizing profusely and then crawling back to Ohno and picking up where they left off.
Once the train came to a stop, there was the boat ride, the only way to reach the island. Ohno hit it off quite well with the boat’s captain. They talked about how Ohno had gotten his nickname of “Captain” and fishing, among other things. They also laughed and made fun of how pathetic Ninomiya had become due to his seasickness. Ninomiya retorted that he was a land mammal, not a fish, getting a rise out of Ohno and the Captain.
But it was just the two of them and that alone made Ninomiya happy. No seasickness was going to deprive him of that.
When they were dropped off and the boat rode away, Ohno turned and said, “How are we going to get back?”
Still feeling a little sick as he sat on the sand, Ninomiya replied, “I told him to come back at sundown. Try not to worry about it. We have this whole island to ourselves. We could even stay out here if we wanted tonight.”
“The whole thing?!” Ohno exclaimed
“Yeah.” Ninomiya blushed from seeing Ohno’s reaction. “I did it all for you,” he mumbled quietly.
“Aaaahhhh~!”
Ohno’s shout of delight alerted Ninomiya. He hadn’t heard the confession.
“The star-sand! I’ve never seen it before…”
“I thought you’ve been here before,” Ninomiya laughed.
“I was but we didn’t go on the beach.”
Sure enough in Ohno’s hand laid several little star shaped sand pieces.
With his quiet giddiness, Ohno was always able to get Ninomiya to smile. He knew it too. He kept the “cute act” up for several minutes until he ran out of comments on the tiny stars. Ninomiya’s emotions came and went in shades of blushing.
Spontaneously, Ohno tossed his shirt off and ran into the water. He shouted at how cold the water was after he had tossed himself into the cold water. Ohno, ensnared by the cold water and loose sand under his feet, had difficulty getting himself to his feet so he could run out of the water. He hadn’t expected the frigid temperature of the water, so he timidly worked his body into it with baby steps. The water had been a nice contrast with the unexpectedly hot weather once he got in. Ninomiya joined him for a little until his leg cramped, then he headed back to shore where he waited for the older man.
Ohno never seemed to run out of energy, despite how tired he was coming to the island.
Breathing deeply after tiring himself out in the water, he stood on the shore, water rolling off his body, hands on his hips remarking at how beautiful the island was. Ninomiya couldn’t help himself. Ninomiya walked up behind Ohno and wrapped his arms around Ohno’s neck, resting his head against Ohno’s wet shoulder.
“I said I’d come back,” Ninomiya said softly.
“But how long did you think I’d wait?” Ohno replied.
Ninomiya answered honestly but quietly, shyly. “Forever…”
Ohno’s lips cracked a smile. “What a hopeless romantic…”
*~~~~~~*~~~~~~*
Ninomiya and Ohno took the train back to Tokyo and solemnly walked towards the station, waiting for the appropriate train to pass into the station to their respective homes.
“I had a great time today. Thanks for inviting me. Well… I’ll see you…” Ohno said as a goodbye.
Ninomiya grabbed Ohno’s wrist. “Wait. Do you want to come over? My house is closer to the studio, and you have filming tomorrow, right?” Ninomiya said shyly.
“Well, yeah.”
“So come over,” Ninomiya insisted.
It was impossible for Ohno to refuse Ninomiya’s proposal. It had been a while since he was last at Ninomiya’s house and he wasn’t necessarily ready to part from him either. It was the first time Ohno had seen Ninomiya in a couple of days, and it had also been the first time in a long while since they were able to talk to each other and hold a normal conversation.
It was also impossible for them to stop themselves from falling into their usual pattern. When Ohno grabbed Ninomiya’s hand, Ninomiya squeezed tightly. It was normal for them, whether they were performing as Arashi or just being themselves. But the reality of Ohno dating Matsumoto hit Ninomiya, so he let go almost as soon as he squeezed.
Ohno frowned as soon as Ninomiya stopped walking and released his hand.
“What’s wrong?”
Ninomiya had thought that stealing Ohno back would make him happy, but in truth it made him miserable. He would be no better than any of the men he absolutely hated for taking back their ex-girlfriends from him, leaving him depressed and dejected after every break-up. It never failed.
But to become the very thing he hated, he couldn’t live with himself.
“You’re doing it again,” Ohno said.
“Huh? Doing what?”
“Not telling me anything. Doing your own thing.” Ohno sighed. “We can’t be together again.”
Ninomiya always thought that if he could have 8 seconds, just 8 seconds, he’d be able to turn everything around. He thought he’d be able to salvage their relationship of five years, but their relationship frayed so easily, almost unthinkable.
“Don’t say that. Please,” Ninomiya pleaded.
“Ni-“
“Just give me a little bit of your time. Please…”
Ohno froze. Ohno knew that Ninomiya wanted to sleep with him one last time, just to prove that there was something in the existence of their relationship. It was “part of his dating agreement”. Ohno thought Ninomiya was a little twisted, saw it as the reason he was always bent out of shape after relationships.
But Ohno wondered: Was it to prove the relationship happened or was it to show that there was or might have been some love in the relationship? That maybe if they did it one last time, that in some warped sense, his lover would feel some remorse and not want to leave.
Ohno hesitantly nodded and Ninomiya led him to the correct train and then to the tiny house on the street.
Stumbling up the stairs, Ninomiya swallowed hard as he continued to hear Ohno keeping up behind him.
Once locked in Ninomiya’s room, Ninomiya pressed himself closely to Ohno, his hands not knowing where to grab.
“I’m not letting you go tonight,” Ninomiya threatened lightly.
“Nino…”
Ninomiya pulled Ohno into the slow, romantic kiss he longed for. Ohno allowed Ninomiya to devour his neck, taking in how much he missed the familiarity of the feeling and all the while softly moaning at the feel of another on his body.
Their pace quickened and suddenly Ohno found himself on his back on Ninomiya’s single bed.
Ohno pushed and pulled himself between Ninomiya’s legs. Ninomiya’s hands reached for the button on Ohno’s pants but then paused-
“No regrets,” he whispered.
Ninomiya remembered Aiba’s warning but flushed it from his mind. He had Ohno. Ohno was right under him! There was no way that he was going to let this man escape. Just 8 seconds. Ninomiya was not going to let this longing he felt for Ohno dissipate.
Unsure, but not unwilling, Ohno agreed again and then Ninomiya forcefully claimed the other’s lips and entwined their bodies.
Ohno could not say a thing. Ninomiya wanted to make Ohno squirm beneath him, and a fine job he was doing. But the further he got along into having sex with Ohno, the sadder he became.
Ohno felt the ecstasy sweep through him; the fewer clothes they had on, the closer their bodies had become. The more intense it became, the less he could catch his breath, as if Ninomiya was sucking the energy from him.
But then, everything stopped. Ninomiya lowered his face onto Ohno’s exposed upper body quietly sobbing, his hands balled into fists. “I can’t do it,” he cried. “I just can’t.”
*~~~~~~*~~~~~~*
Ohno reflexively comforted Ninomiya until he calmed down. Ohno patted his head, hugged him tightly, told him that he was there.
“How embarrassing,” Ninomiya mumbled after so many minutes of crying himself close to sleep. “You shouldn’t have seen me cry.”
“Everybody cries. You’re human,” Ohno says in reply with a laughing tone in his voice. “Besides, I never knew how cute your crying face could be.”
“Stupid. Stop making fun of me,” Ninomiya retorted. Ninomiya found one of Ohno’s hands and played with it nostalgically.
After a minute of silence, Ohno stammered asking, “What are we?”
Ninomiya dropped Ohno’s hand and heavily sighed. He was content leaning against Ohno as he had been until Ohno said that. “I was hoping we could be as we were. But I don’t know how easy it will be. Besides, you’re pretty stubborn and made up your mind already.”
“Nino-“
“Listen. I need to explain everything before you say you don’t want to be together. I’ll explain why I left, everything! Just listen to me….Okay?”
“I’m still in love with you,” Ohno replied with a desperate tone. “But I just don’t see how…I don’t see how we can continue as we were.”
“I guess, if you didn’t love me, you wouldn’t have come back with me, huh… Ahhhh! I’m going to cry again.” Ninomiya threw his head back trying to constrain the tears ready to let loose. “You know, you make it really hard for me.”
“Harder than any girl has before?”
“Of course!”
“Good. Because you’ve made it hard on me, too.” Ohno pauses. “Listen, I don’t want to go through all this again, that’s why I can’t be with you.”
“You caught MatsuJun’s eye by splitting up with me, of course you can’t go back to me.” Ninomiya allowed his tears to fall, unable to control them. “Why don’t we forget about the past five years and start over,” Ninomiya suggested.
Ohno laughed, teary eyed, coming to terms with Ninomiya after all their time apart. But the way Ninomiya said “Let’s start over,” made it seem as if it was so easy for Ninomiya to let Ohno go.
But Ohno’s smiling face diminished into tears when he became conscious of Ninomiya being alone while he ran off to Matsumoto.
“I’ll be alright,” Ninomiya assured him.
______________________________________________________________________
OOC: I've been trying to get this thing posted for months now. I think I started working on it back during the winter/spring and most of it came to me but I never really felt satisfied with it until recently. And now, you have read the finished piece~! I just wanted to write a fic where one chara in the pairing just wants to burn the whole relationship to the ground, intentionally or unintentionally, and it just so happened to work out both ways, lol. And well, I hope you enjoyed it!! Thanks for reading it!
*~~~~~~*~~~~~~*
Saturday finally arrived. Nerves and hormone levels flew high in Ninomiya. He was anxious the entire time he waited for Ohno to arrive at the train station. After talking to Aiba, he wondered if his “Get Satoshi Back” plan was going to work. But then what would happen to Matsumoto? And who could tell what was going to happen to Ohno, who was torn between them. Ninomiya didn’t want to think about it.
This was between him and Ohno, he told himself. It was a date for him and Ohno. It was only going to be the two of them. Just them.
Ninomiya could see it now: Ohno frolicking down the beach, splashing water up at Ninomiya as he was chased by him. The two of them embracing in the sunset.
“Nino-chan! I’m so sorry!” Ohno said trying to catch his breath.
“You’re late.”
“I overslept. I’m sorry!”
Ninomiya smiled at the flustered man and rubbed the back of his neck before picking up his bag and heading to the train.
The train ride was mostly silent between the two of them. Both nervous as hell, they attempted to converse, but it mostly turned into a talk about work. There was really nothing new to talk about and Ninomiya was trying to block Matsumoto from his mind when he started to think of what he could do to Ohno on the island. Ohno was fumbling with the aglets on his sweatshirt, trying to calm his racing heart.
It was difficult for the both of them not to do anything. Difficult for Ohno to not grab Ninomiya’s hand. Difficult for Ninomiya to stop himself from thinking of apologizing profusely and then crawling back to Ohno and picking up where they left off.
Once the train came to a stop, there was the boat ride, the only way to reach the island. Ohno hit it off quite well with the boat’s captain. They talked about how Ohno had gotten his nickname of “Captain” and fishing, among other things. They also laughed and made fun of how pathetic Ninomiya had become due to his seasickness. Ninomiya retorted that he was a land mammal, not a fish, getting a rise out of Ohno and the Captain.
But it was just the two of them and that alone made Ninomiya happy. No seasickness was going to deprive him of that.
When they were dropped off and the boat rode away, Ohno turned and said, “How are we going to get back?”
Still feeling a little sick as he sat on the sand, Ninomiya replied, “I told him to come back at sundown. Try not to worry about it. We have this whole island to ourselves. We could even stay out here if we wanted tonight.”
“The whole thing?!” Ohno exclaimed
“Yeah.” Ninomiya blushed from seeing Ohno’s reaction. “I did it all for you,” he mumbled quietly.
“Aaaahhhh~!”
Ohno’s shout of delight alerted Ninomiya. He hadn’t heard the confession.
“The star-sand! I’ve never seen it before…”
“I thought you’ve been here before,” Ninomiya laughed.
“I was but we didn’t go on the beach.”
Sure enough in Ohno’s hand laid several little star shaped sand pieces.
With his quiet giddiness, Ohno was always able to get Ninomiya to smile. He knew it too. He kept the “cute act” up for several minutes until he ran out of comments on the tiny stars. Ninomiya’s emotions came and went in shades of blushing.
Spontaneously, Ohno tossed his shirt off and ran into the water. He shouted at how cold the water was after he had tossed himself into the cold water. Ohno, ensnared by the cold water and loose sand under his feet, had difficulty getting himself to his feet so he could run out of the water. He hadn’t expected the frigid temperature of the water, so he timidly worked his body into it with baby steps. The water had been a nice contrast with the unexpectedly hot weather once he got in. Ninomiya joined him for a little until his leg cramped, then he headed back to shore where he waited for the older man.
Ohno never seemed to run out of energy, despite how tired he was coming to the island.
Breathing deeply after tiring himself out in the water, he stood on the shore, water rolling off his body, hands on his hips remarking at how beautiful the island was. Ninomiya couldn’t help himself. Ninomiya walked up behind Ohno and wrapped his arms around Ohno’s neck, resting his head against Ohno’s wet shoulder.
“I said I’d come back,” Ninomiya said softly.
“But how long did you think I’d wait?” Ohno replied.
Ninomiya answered honestly but quietly, shyly. “Forever…”
Ohno’s lips cracked a smile. “What a hopeless romantic…”
*~~~~~~*~~~~~~*
Ninomiya and Ohno took the train back to Tokyo and solemnly walked towards the station, waiting for the appropriate train to pass into the station to their respective homes.
“I had a great time today. Thanks for inviting me. Well… I’ll see you…” Ohno said as a goodbye.
Ninomiya grabbed Ohno’s wrist. “Wait. Do you want to come over? My house is closer to the studio, and you have filming tomorrow, right?” Ninomiya said shyly.
“Well, yeah.”
“So come over,” Ninomiya insisted.
It was impossible for Ohno to refuse Ninomiya’s proposal. It had been a while since he was last at Ninomiya’s house and he wasn’t necessarily ready to part from him either. It was the first time Ohno had seen Ninomiya in a couple of days, and it had also been the first time in a long while since they were able to talk to each other and hold a normal conversation.
It was also impossible for them to stop themselves from falling into their usual pattern. When Ohno grabbed Ninomiya’s hand, Ninomiya squeezed tightly. It was normal for them, whether they were performing as Arashi or just being themselves. But the reality of Ohno dating Matsumoto hit Ninomiya, so he let go almost as soon as he squeezed.
Ohno frowned as soon as Ninomiya stopped walking and released his hand.
“What’s wrong?”
Ninomiya had thought that stealing Ohno back would make him happy, but in truth it made him miserable. He would be no better than any of the men he absolutely hated for taking back their ex-girlfriends from him, leaving him depressed and dejected after every break-up. It never failed.
But to become the very thing he hated, he couldn’t live with himself.
“You’re doing it again,” Ohno said.
“Huh? Doing what?”
“Not telling me anything. Doing your own thing.” Ohno sighed. “We can’t be together again.”
Ninomiya always thought that if he could have 8 seconds, just 8 seconds, he’d be able to turn everything around. He thought he’d be able to salvage their relationship of five years, but their relationship frayed so easily, almost unthinkable.
“Don’t say that. Please,” Ninomiya pleaded.
“Ni-“
“Just give me a little bit of your time. Please…”
Ohno froze. Ohno knew that Ninomiya wanted to sleep with him one last time, just to prove that there was something in the existence of their relationship. It was “part of his dating agreement”. Ohno thought Ninomiya was a little twisted, saw it as the reason he was always bent out of shape after relationships.
But Ohno wondered: Was it to prove the relationship happened or was it to show that there was or might have been some love in the relationship? That maybe if they did it one last time, that in some warped sense, his lover would feel some remorse and not want to leave.
Ohno hesitantly nodded and Ninomiya led him to the correct train and then to the tiny house on the street.
Stumbling up the stairs, Ninomiya swallowed hard as he continued to hear Ohno keeping up behind him.
Once locked in Ninomiya’s room, Ninomiya pressed himself closely to Ohno, his hands not knowing where to grab.
“I’m not letting you go tonight,” Ninomiya threatened lightly.
“Nino…”
Ninomiya pulled Ohno into the slow, romantic kiss he longed for. Ohno allowed Ninomiya to devour his neck, taking in how much he missed the familiarity of the feeling and all the while softly moaning at the feel of another on his body.
Their pace quickened and suddenly Ohno found himself on his back on Ninomiya’s single bed.
Ohno pushed and pulled himself between Ninomiya’s legs. Ninomiya’s hands reached for the button on Ohno’s pants but then paused-
“No regrets,” he whispered.
Ninomiya remembered Aiba’s warning but flushed it from his mind. He had Ohno. Ohno was right under him! There was no way that he was going to let this man escape. Just 8 seconds. Ninomiya was not going to let this longing he felt for Ohno dissipate.
Unsure, but not unwilling, Ohno agreed again and then Ninomiya forcefully claimed the other’s lips and entwined their bodies.
Ohno could not say a thing. Ninomiya wanted to make Ohno squirm beneath him, and a fine job he was doing. But the further he got along into having sex with Ohno, the sadder he became.
Ohno felt the ecstasy sweep through him; the fewer clothes they had on, the closer their bodies had become. The more intense it became, the less he could catch his breath, as if Ninomiya was sucking the energy from him.
But then, everything stopped. Ninomiya lowered his face onto Ohno’s exposed upper body quietly sobbing, his hands balled into fists. “I can’t do it,” he cried. “I just can’t.”
*~~~~~~*~~~~~~*
Ohno reflexively comforted Ninomiya until he calmed down. Ohno patted his head, hugged him tightly, told him that he was there.
“How embarrassing,” Ninomiya mumbled after so many minutes of crying himself close to sleep. “You shouldn’t have seen me cry.”
“Everybody cries. You’re human,” Ohno says in reply with a laughing tone in his voice. “Besides, I never knew how cute your crying face could be.”
“Stupid. Stop making fun of me,” Ninomiya retorted. Ninomiya found one of Ohno’s hands and played with it nostalgically.
After a minute of silence, Ohno stammered asking, “What are we?”
Ninomiya dropped Ohno’s hand and heavily sighed. He was content leaning against Ohno as he had been until Ohno said that. “I was hoping we could be as we were. But I don’t know how easy it will be. Besides, you’re pretty stubborn and made up your mind already.”
“Nino-“
“Listen. I need to explain everything before you say you don’t want to be together. I’ll explain why I left, everything! Just listen to me….Okay?”
“I’m still in love with you,” Ohno replied with a desperate tone. “But I just don’t see how…I don’t see how we can continue as we were.”
“I guess, if you didn’t love me, you wouldn’t have come back with me, huh… Ahhhh! I’m going to cry again.” Ninomiya threw his head back trying to constrain the tears ready to let loose. “You know, you make it really hard for me.”
“Harder than any girl has before?”
“Of course!”
“Good. Because you’ve made it hard on me, too.” Ohno pauses. “Listen, I don’t want to go through all this again, that’s why I can’t be with you.”
“You caught MatsuJun’s eye by splitting up with me, of course you can’t go back to me.” Ninomiya allowed his tears to fall, unable to control them. “Why don’t we forget about the past five years and start over,” Ninomiya suggested.
Ohno laughed, teary eyed, coming to terms with Ninomiya after all their time apart. But the way Ninomiya said “Let’s start over,” made it seem as if it was so easy for Ninomiya to let Ohno go.
But Ohno’s smiling face diminished into tears when he became conscious of Ninomiya being alone while he ran off to Matsumoto.
“I’ll be alright,” Ninomiya assured him.
______________________________________________________________________
OOC: I've been trying to get this thing posted for months now. I think I started working on it back during the winter/spring and most of it came to me but I never really felt satisfied with it until recently. And now, you have read the finished piece~! I just wanted to write a fic where one chara in the pairing just wants to burn the whole relationship to the ground, intentionally or unintentionally, and it just so happened to work out both ways, lol. And well, I hope you enjoyed it!! Thanks for reading it!