Quotes..
Can't sleep, half 4 in the morning.. will post random quotes to pass the time..
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really impressed. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips...
I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where'd you get that banana?
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really impressed. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips...
I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where'd you get that banana?
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."