I left my conscience pressed between the pages of the Bible in the drawer...
Tonight was fun! Went to Margarita's with Carolyn, Sara, Christine, Justin, Julie and Renee...then we all (+ tim) went to see Memoirs of a Geisha...which was REALLY good...i basically loved it and now i have to go buy the book cuz i want to read it...then we went to starbucks and hung out near the fireplace for a while...'twas fun...
today during study hall and anatomy i finally got somewhat motivated to write...so i wrote a bunch to add into my book...which i'm still pounding away...it's almost done...and then i'm gonna go back through and rewrite the beginning...and i'm going to get it published...it will prob take tons of revisions and years of work but it will happen...
basically, i'm kind of depressed-ish...nowhere nearly as bad as last year...don't worry...but it's just i never feel like i'm good enough...no matter what i do i am just so stressed...
i hate the way i look...i don't understand why my skin still looks like shit when i'm on prescription meds 4 it, i go 2 the dermatologist and ah it just makes me want to scream...there's never a time when i think i look good...it just never happens :-/...
and i don't understand why i have such bad luck with guys...well i mean not necessarily bad luck, but it always seems like i get so close and then nothing happens...or it seems like someone's just teasing me...i find out someone likes me, but then nothing happens...i just ugh idk i'm about ready to give up on guys altogether...they're too confusing...do me a favor and next time just fucking make out with me already(if ur a guy lol)...
i don't think i'm making sense...i'm tired...
at least i have some things to look forward to in the near future...
-ireland trip in feb/march
-kelly clarkson concert in DUBLIN on march 2nd
-fallout boy, all american rejects, hawthorne heights and from first to last concert in portland on march 16th
-college...
i just wish i had someone to hold my hand...just for five minutes...idk i dont make sense...
~*~
I comb the crowd and pick you out
My mouth moves too fast for you to figure it out
It starts eyes closed to fingers crossed
“To I swear, I say”
To hands between legs, to “whatever it takes”
To drinks at the club to the bar
To the keys to your car
To hotel stares/stairs to the emergency exit door
To the love, I left my conscience pressed
Between the pages of the Bible in the drawer
“What did it ever do for me” I say
It never calls me when I'm down
Love never wanted me
But I took it anyway
Put your ear to the speaker
And choose awe or sympathy
But never both
Last time “I hoped you choked
And crashed your car”
Hey “tear catcher”, that's all that you are
And ever were
From the start
I swear, I say
To the “love” I left my conscience pressed
Through the keyhole I watched you dress
Kiss and tell
(Loose lips sink ships)
~*~
today during study hall and anatomy i finally got somewhat motivated to write...so i wrote a bunch to add into my book...which i'm still pounding away...it's almost done...and then i'm gonna go back through and rewrite the beginning...and i'm going to get it published...it will prob take tons of revisions and years of work but it will happen...
basically, i'm kind of depressed-ish...nowhere nearly as bad as last year...don't worry...but it's just i never feel like i'm good enough...no matter what i do i am just so stressed...
i hate the way i look...i don't understand why my skin still looks like shit when i'm on prescription meds 4 it, i go 2 the dermatologist and ah it just makes me want to scream...there's never a time when i think i look good...it just never happens :-/...
and i don't understand why i have such bad luck with guys...well i mean not necessarily bad luck, but it always seems like i get so close and then nothing happens...or it seems like someone's just teasing me...i find out someone likes me, but then nothing happens...i just ugh idk i'm about ready to give up on guys altogether...they're too confusing...do me a favor and next time just fucking make out with me already(if ur a guy lol)...
i don't think i'm making sense...i'm tired...
at least i have some things to look forward to in the near future...
-ireland trip in feb/march
-kelly clarkson concert in DUBLIN on march 2nd
-fallout boy, all american rejects, hawthorne heights and from first to last concert in portland on march 16th
-college...
i just wish i had someone to hold my hand...just for five minutes...idk i dont make sense...
~*~
I comb the crowd and pick you out
My mouth moves too fast for you to figure it out
It starts eyes closed to fingers crossed
“To I swear, I say”
To hands between legs, to “whatever it takes”
To drinks at the club to the bar
To the keys to your car
To hotel stares/stairs to the emergency exit door
To the love, I left my conscience pressed
Between the pages of the Bible in the drawer
“What did it ever do for me” I say
It never calls me when I'm down
Love never wanted me
But I took it anyway
Put your ear to the speaker
And choose awe or sympathy
But never both
Last time “I hoped you choked
And crashed your car”
Hey “tear catcher”, that's all that you are
And ever were
From the start
I swear, I say
To the “love” I left my conscience pressed
Through the keyhole I watched you dress
Kiss and tell
(Loose lips sink ships)
~*~