Grrr
i'm just extremely annoyed. I went home this weekend so I could spend some time with my mom. Friday night she said she already had plans, so I went to the musical. Sat. i had to try and get some hw done (which I didn't really succeed in), and i spent the afternoon with her and all the ppl that came over from our church. Today we slept in, watched a movie with her, and tim's mom picked me up and then i went to the dartball dinner. Then i called and asked her if i could go the brewers game, and she said she didn't care, and that it was a joke that i came home this weekend to see her, and that she'll give me the car once i give her money for it. What bullshit. If she wouldn't say her smart aleck remarks and piss me off every second im with her, id spend more time with her. I was gonna spend fri and sat with her. It's not my fuckin fault she had plans already. And she blames me. And she says that she doesn't want me to have a car cuz then i'll have absolutely no reason to ever come home. Why the hell do i try with her? its impossible.
And I'm deathly scared for my grandpa. I saw him on Saturday and Sunday. He looks horrible.... He's lost tons of weight (20 pounds in the last 2 weeks alone), he's so pale, so weak, and he won't eat anything. the doctor wanted to put him back in the hospital on wed, and my grandma said that if they wanted him to gain weight, the hospital would be the worst place for him to go becuz he hates hospital food. So the doctor said he'd give him one more week. I had to help him get out of the couch, cuz he couldn't get up himself. He moved slower than my great grandma... I hate seeing him like that. I cried for a good amount of time last night... I'm just so scared of losing him. I've already lost my father, I couldn't stand losing my grandfather too. I was so close to those 2, closer than anyone else in my family, and losing both of them.... I just don't know if i'll be able to handle it. But at the same time... just seeing him. He didn't seem like himself at all. He was really quiet... He's never quiet. He seems so depressed and in so much pain, and he even mentioned at one point yesterday that if god-willing he doesn't get better he'll go to a better place. I hate hearing people talk like that. Honestly, I know he's been depressed since my dad died, maybe he's looking forward to seeing him again? I want him to be happy and w/o pain, but at the same time, i don't want to lose him....
And I'm deathly scared for my grandpa. I saw him on Saturday and Sunday. He looks horrible.... He's lost tons of weight (20 pounds in the last 2 weeks alone), he's so pale, so weak, and he won't eat anything. the doctor wanted to put him back in the hospital on wed, and my grandma said that if they wanted him to gain weight, the hospital would be the worst place for him to go becuz he hates hospital food. So the doctor said he'd give him one more week. I had to help him get out of the couch, cuz he couldn't get up himself. He moved slower than my great grandma... I hate seeing him like that. I cried for a good amount of time last night... I'm just so scared of losing him. I've already lost my father, I couldn't stand losing my grandfather too. I was so close to those 2, closer than anyone else in my family, and losing both of them.... I just don't know if i'll be able to handle it. But at the same time... just seeing him. He didn't seem like himself at all. He was really quiet... He's never quiet. He seems so depressed and in so much pain, and he even mentioned at one point yesterday that if god-willing he doesn't get better he'll go to a better place. I hate hearing people talk like that. Honestly, I know he's been depressed since my dad died, maybe he's looking forward to seeing him again? I want him to be happy and w/o pain, but at the same time, i don't want to lose him....