You know you have fucked up eating when:
1) Your hair starts to fall out (eep, this is not good)
2) You eat half an apple and can feel the fat piling on your ass
3) It takes you at least half an hour to eat this half apple, and you do so in tiny, psychotic nibbles.
4) You become completely obsessed by food, and can spend hours infront of the telly watching cooking programs
5) You dream about food all the time
6) You feel like you're about to faint all the time (or do), and sort of 'drift' inbetween conversations and time
7) You think 300kcals counts as a massive binge, and it makes you feel full and FAT and horrible.
8) Other people comment on your strange eating habits when you think they're perfectly normal.
9) If you have to sit still, you compulsively jiggle your leg muscles and fidget, just because it uses calories. You treat walking as not a means to get from A to B, but a way to use calories. You run up the stairs instead of walking just because... yep. Uses more calories.
9) You don't think any of this is strange until you write it down, read it, and in a rare moment of clarity realise how completely fucked up you are. But you can't stop, because you're so fat and disgusting and this is the only measure of reality you have left.
Yeh.
Loser.
And to think I used to be bulimic.
I'm so disgusting.
And see this would all be okay if I was THIN. But still I keep eating, and still I don't lose enough, and... just urgh. I feel ashamed to go outside, to have people look at my FAT HORRIBLE BODY. Urgh.
I hate this.
But as much as I hate it, I need it more than anything.
And this is kind of funny.
Freak.
2) You eat half an apple and can feel the fat piling on your ass
3) It takes you at least half an hour to eat this half apple, and you do so in tiny, psychotic nibbles.
4) You become completely obsessed by food, and can spend hours infront of the telly watching cooking programs
5) You dream about food all the time
6) You feel like you're about to faint all the time (or do), and sort of 'drift' inbetween conversations and time
7) You think 300kcals counts as a massive binge, and it makes you feel full and FAT and horrible.
8) Other people comment on your strange eating habits when you think they're perfectly normal.
9) If you have to sit still, you compulsively jiggle your leg muscles and fidget, just because it uses calories. You treat walking as not a means to get from A to B, but a way to use calories. You run up the stairs instead of walking just because... yep. Uses more calories.
9) You don't think any of this is strange until you write it down, read it, and in a rare moment of clarity realise how completely fucked up you are. But you can't stop, because you're so fat and disgusting and this is the only measure of reality you have left.
Yeh.
Loser.
And to think I used to be bulimic.
I'm so disgusting.
And see this would all be okay if I was THIN. But still I keep eating, and still I don't lose enough, and... just urgh. I feel ashamed to go outside, to have people look at my FAT HORRIBLE BODY. Urgh.
I hate this.
But as much as I hate it, I need it more than anything.
And this is kind of funny.
Freak.