[Curly Ripe Meat] Afraid to Post
I just pondered, deeply, the idea of starting a new blog.
Maybe part of me thinks that "Curly Ripe Meat" is no longer a very
interesting blog title.
Maybe CRM should be my blog for adventures, real life, pictures, etc.,
and not my editorials.
Maybe I'm still a bit bruised from the backlash I got about a Starbucks
cup, and about my posts on maturity and the couple-dates I'd been
longing for (and now am loving!)...
And being bruised is okay, and careful about people's feelings.
But...
of all of the wind that blows through your hair when you're young (and
turns out to be farts), of all the passion of unfettered horses running
wild (that you can't keep up with)... speaking my mind is one of the
things I loved most about my youthful self. There has always been a
power and a freedom in being willing to sense, analyze and express my
opinions in life.
A power that scares others. A power that intimidates. And I've spent a
lot of time in the last few years learning how not to intimidate others
unintentionally. I'm glad of that. I'm glad of being softer and more
approachable, and of how that makes me more able to give.
But, sometimes I miss the freedom, and considering chopping my journal
in two after seven years seems rather constricting to me.
So, it makes me think that, perhaps, one of the ways that I don't want
to get old is by letting people crush my inquisitive writing.
Now; understand me -- I don't mean that I should be cruel or rude to
people; I've always had too much of a desire to be elegant to be
insulting out of ignorance or carelessness. However; speaking
abstractly in my own blog, which no-one has to read... well... I
believe that I should feel comfortable here. And I miss trusting my
instinct to not be a total ASS by accident.
Writing this reminds me of now old disagreements about whether it's
okay to blog in a way that might cause others offense. I hold that it
isn't honorable or kind to be hurtful to someone directly; some respond
that one should be free to journal about whatever they want. I put
stock in the validity and benefits of abstract thought and debate, but
this, too, can backfire if the reader's application of the abstraction
reflects negatively.
But, honestly.... I don't need to feel responsible for everyone's
reactions to my opinions. Maybe we disagree! Maybe I sound shallow to
you, petty. Maybe it hurts that I'm in a different place than you are,
and view my experiences in a different way than you view similar
experiences of your own. And that's okay!
That I am going to venture out of my fear and feel free to opine.
Maybe part of me thinks that "Curly Ripe Meat" is no longer a very
interesting blog title.
Maybe CRM should be my blog for adventures, real life, pictures, etc.,
and not my editorials.
Maybe I'm still a bit bruised from the backlash I got about a Starbucks
cup, and about my posts on maturity and the couple-dates I'd been
longing for (and now am loving!)...
And being bruised is okay, and careful about people's feelings.
But...
of all of the wind that blows through your hair when you're young (and
turns out to be farts), of all the passion of unfettered horses running
wild (that you can't keep up with)... speaking my mind is one of the
things I loved most about my youthful self. There has always been a
power and a freedom in being willing to sense, analyze and express my
opinions in life.
A power that scares others. A power that intimidates. And I've spent a
lot of time in the last few years learning how not to intimidate others
unintentionally. I'm glad of that. I'm glad of being softer and more
approachable, and of how that makes me more able to give.
But, sometimes I miss the freedom, and considering chopping my journal
in two after seven years seems rather constricting to me.
So, it makes me think that, perhaps, one of the ways that I don't want
to get old is by letting people crush my inquisitive writing.
Now; understand me -- I don't mean that I should be cruel or rude to
people; I've always had too much of a desire to be elegant to be
insulting out of ignorance or carelessness. However; speaking
abstractly in my own blog, which no-one has to read... well... I
believe that I should feel comfortable here. And I miss trusting my
instinct to not be a total ASS by accident.
Writing this reminds me of now old disagreements about whether it's
okay to blog in a way that might cause others offense. I hold that it
isn't honorable or kind to be hurtful to someone directly; some respond
that one should be free to journal about whatever they want. I put
stock in the validity and benefits of abstract thought and debate, but
this, too, can backfire if the reader's application of the abstraction
reflects negatively.
But, honestly.... I don't need to feel responsible for everyone's
reactions to my opinions. Maybe we disagree! Maybe I sound shallow to
you, petty. Maybe it hurts that I'm in a different place than you are,
and view my experiences in a different way than you view similar
experiences of your own. And that's okay!
That I am going to venture out of my fear and feel free to opine.