(no subject)
It's nearly inevitable. Hold out an ice cube in the middle of a blazing fire. It melts. Whatever the equation to "remaining solid" is, fix it up, and give me 12398 times the dose. Chemistry. Our fucking chemistry. Its all in our brains!! Our minds. . .our organ that works in such mysterious ways. The environment, the people that alter our state of consciousness. This is so unfair. This is so fucking unfair. How long will it take for me to find solace? This constant battle i fight with myself. I would grasp it once only to see it slip out of reach. All it takes is the turbulence of thought mixed in with some alone time. And I'm off. I'm past relying on others for happiness. I'm way past adjusting myself to conform to a particular "vibe". Because in the end, we are all hypocrites, we will never be perfect so might as well take a look at all the flaws and laugh, and maybe scream and howl at that. And this leaves me to one last note. I realize i have overlooked alot of the important people in my life, including my mom and a few close others. Of course i'm always happy to have them around, but like any other being, i've taken alot for granted. It seems that i've focused mostly on the negativity within other meaningless people, i haven't fully taken in the appreciation for the few people who mean sooo much to me. From now on, i want real. I'm going to give my full attention to "real thoughts, real people. REAL."