Babylon 5 fanfic: Realizing (S/I) - Babylon 5 Love Month contribution
Disclaimer: Babylon 5 is property of WB and JMS. I don’t own anything. Just borrowed this scene from the episode “Eyes”. No copyright infringement intended, no money made from this.
Summary: When Ivanova visits Sinclair in his quarters to resign he realizes what she really means to him. Set during the first season episode “Eyes”.
Pairing: Sinclair/Ivanova
Rating: um... I’d say R just in case.
Category: Romance
Spoilers: Obviously for the episode “Eyes”. ;-)
Author’s Note: Oh crap, I’m actually doing it… I’m writing B5 Sinclair/Ivanova. I want to apologize in advance. I really don’t know what got into me, but the idea was just there.
Anyway, thanks to Ruuger for beta reading my story.
Since this is set during “Eyes” when Ivanova visits Sinclair in his quarters to resign, I had to borrow the whole scene some of the original lines from the show meaning that the first part isn’t mine. I just took the liberty to add my own interpretation. ;-)
Realizing
By IceCream_Junkie
Jeff was studying Earth Force law to find a way to get them out of the mess Colonel Zayn and his internal affairs investigation had got them into when his doorbell rang. He stopped the computer.
“Come,” he said as he got up from the couch.
He was surprised to see Ivanova. In the split second before she started speaking he noticed that she wore her hair down like she had been doing it a lot lately. He couldn’t help thinking that this look suited her, but he didn’t allow himself to dwell on that matter any further. She was his second in command. He wasn’t supposed to notice such things. But he was just a man, and sometimes he just couldn’t help it.
“My apologies, Commander,” she said, wasting no time to hand him a piece of paper she was holding, “but this matter can’t wait.”
He took the folded paper from her, wondering what might be so important. The look on her face had already told him that it wouldn’t be something he wanted to hear.
“What’s this about?”
“I wish to resign my commission effective immediately.”
There it was. He couldn’t believe he just heard that. “What?”
“I had a talk with Mr. Gray last night.” Her voice nearly broke. “He said the Colonel would insist that I’d be scanned. I cannot allow that, and this is the only way to avoid it without putting you in a bad position.”
As much as he appreciated her willingness to protect him, he just couldn’t accept it.
“Forget it. I refuse to accept your resignation,” he told her firmly.
“I’m within my rights!” Her voice rose. “I won’t have the PSI-Corps probing me like some sort of lab specimen!”
It made him very uncomfortable to see her so close to tears, but it was the urge to take her into his arms, to protect her and to calm her down, that surprised him. She was his second in command, damned!
“And I won’t have you ruin your career or leaving Babylon 5. You’re too important to me.”
It struck him then that he had actually meant it in more than just in the strictly professional sense, but fortunately she didn’t seem to notice.
“Besides”, he added, “I found a way to avoid the scans within the regulations.”
“Are you sure?” The hope he saw in her eyes made his heart jump.
He nodded. “Yes”
Hearing her sigh in relief lessened the tension he hadn’t even realised until now.
“May I borrow your PPG to shoot myself squarely in the head?”
Jeff smiled at her. “That won’t be necessary. This time.”
He was glad to see her smile in return.
“Thank you, Commander.” She turned to leave, but he called her name to hold her back.
She turned around to face him. “Yes?”
He had to ask her. He needed to know why she had been so hurt and scared that she was willing to end her career, which was everything for her.
“Why are you afraid of being scanned? Surely your mother must have made contact with your mind at one time or another?”
“Yes, she did. You can’t imagine what it’s like to share your own mother’s love for you. To feel it in your thoughts. No one’s ever been that close to me, Commander, and no one must ever intrude upon that memory - especially PSI-Corps.” She added before she left.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the door closed behind her, Jeff ran a hand through his hair as if to brush away all those confusing thoughts. Damned. What had gotten into him? Why did he all of a sudden have feelings towards Sus... his Second in Command, he corrected himself.
And then there was Catherine. Wasn’t he glad that they were back together again and that it actually seemed to be working out this time? Then how come all of a sudden, he was feeling an odd tingle running down his spine when he thought of Susan’s smile?
He had always been eager to help wherever he could, to take all the galaxy’s problems onto his shoulders, but with her it was different. He wasn’t just pleased that he had been able to help her. The urge to close his arms around her, to hold her tight, to keep her safe had been so strong when she had stood in front of him. It had taken all of his willpower not to act on it.
When she answered his question he had been glad that she trusted him enough to let him know why this was so important to her. But he wanted more. He wanted to see behind the mask of an Earth Force officer which she so carefully held in place. He wanted to see the woman, to see her, to see Susan.
And his body wanted things that weren’t as innocent as his thoughts.
The image of her hair spread out on his pillow forced itself into his mind. Her skin would be soft under his touch and he would devour every inch of it with soft kisses and then...
No! He had to stop thinking about doing those things to her right now or he would never be able to look her in the eye again.
Jeff went into the bathroom and splashed some cold water into his face. It didn’t exactly help. The newly risen tension in his body just wouldn’t go away.
Well, there was a simple way to get it over with, but he would rather give this station over to Ben Zayn then jerk off over his second in command.
Another flash of unwanted fantasies forced itself into his thoughts.
“Damn!”
He was screwed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susan didn’t immediately return back on duty. Instead she dropped by at her quarters. She needed to calm down. But it wasn’t the thought of escaping the scan that had quickened her heart rate. It was the man who had given her the good news.
The door to her quarters closed behind her and she leaned with her back against the wall next to it.
She closed her eyes and regretted it when the image of Jeff Sinclair smiling at her appeared before her closed eyes. The image of those dimples sent a warm feeling into her stomach.
“Oh God,” Susan groaned. She covered her eyes with her hand and took a few deep breaths.
Sinclair was her commanding officer. She wasn’t supposed to think about him that way. And even if things were different, he wasn’t hers. He was in a relationship, and she was no one to steal another woman’s boyfriend.
Unfortunately her subconscious did not seem to care. She could see Jeff standing in front of her again as she had just minutes ago in his quarters. He had worn just the white shirt which belonged to Earth Force uniforms not the actual jacket. The top button had been undone.
Unbidden fantasies of her opening a few more of those buttons invaded her mind. She would slip her hand under the white fabric and let it start to roam over his torso. He would close his arms around her and kiss her.
At first it would be just a light brush of lips against lips but it would soon grow into something more passionate. His tongue would demand entrance and she would grant it, and they would...
Susan flung her eyes open wide. She could not, no, would not allow herself to follow these thoughts any further. It was ridiculous. Jeffrey Sinclair was her commanding officer. She could not think about him like this. Whatever tricks her mind tried to play on her, she wouldn’t allow this to go on any longer. Their relationship was strictly professional and she would make sure not to ever dream of anything else. It simply couldn’t be.
She sighed and straightened her uniform before she left her quarters.
But still, her mind wouldn’t let go.
You’re too important to me. The thought of him saying those words came into her mind while she was on her way to her station.
She pushed it away, dismissing any second guessing. He had meant that she was important to him as an officer. He had told her before that he thought she was a good officer. He valued how she did her job. Maybe he even considered her a friend. But that was it.
Stop making more out of this than it actually is, Susan, she told herself.
When she entered the hallway in front of the operations deck she finally succeeded, pushing away all those ridiculous thoughts and concentrated on her duties and what lay ahead of her. No more thoughts about Commander Sinclair she vowed herself.
And it seemed to work - for the moment at least.
Summary: When Ivanova visits Sinclair in his quarters to resign he realizes what she really means to him. Set during the first season episode “Eyes”.
Pairing: Sinclair/Ivanova
Rating: um... I’d say R just in case.
Category: Romance
Spoilers: Obviously for the episode “Eyes”. ;-)
Author’s Note: Oh crap, I’m actually doing it… I’m writing B5 Sinclair/Ivanova. I want to apologize in advance. I really don’t know what got into me, but the idea was just there.
Anyway, thanks to Ruuger for beta reading my story.
Since this is set during “Eyes” when Ivanova visits Sinclair in his quarters to resign, I had to borrow the whole scene some of the original lines from the show meaning that the first part isn’t mine. I just took the liberty to add my own interpretation. ;-)
Realizing
By IceCream_Junkie
Jeff was studying Earth Force law to find a way to get them out of the mess Colonel Zayn and his internal affairs investigation had got them into when his doorbell rang. He stopped the computer.
“Come,” he said as he got up from the couch.
He was surprised to see Ivanova. In the split second before she started speaking he noticed that she wore her hair down like she had been doing it a lot lately. He couldn’t help thinking that this look suited her, but he didn’t allow himself to dwell on that matter any further. She was his second in command. He wasn’t supposed to notice such things. But he was just a man, and sometimes he just couldn’t help it.
“My apologies, Commander,” she said, wasting no time to hand him a piece of paper she was holding, “but this matter can’t wait.”
He took the folded paper from her, wondering what might be so important. The look on her face had already told him that it wouldn’t be something he wanted to hear.
“What’s this about?”
“I wish to resign my commission effective immediately.”
There it was. He couldn’t believe he just heard that. “What?”
“I had a talk with Mr. Gray last night.” Her voice nearly broke. “He said the Colonel would insist that I’d be scanned. I cannot allow that, and this is the only way to avoid it without putting you in a bad position.”
As much as he appreciated her willingness to protect him, he just couldn’t accept it.
“Forget it. I refuse to accept your resignation,” he told her firmly.
“I’m within my rights!” Her voice rose. “I won’t have the PSI-Corps probing me like some sort of lab specimen!”
It made him very uncomfortable to see her so close to tears, but it was the urge to take her into his arms, to protect her and to calm her down, that surprised him. She was his second in command, damned!
“And I won’t have you ruin your career or leaving Babylon 5. You’re too important to me.”
It struck him then that he had actually meant it in more than just in the strictly professional sense, but fortunately she didn’t seem to notice.
“Besides”, he added, “I found a way to avoid the scans within the regulations.”
“Are you sure?” The hope he saw in her eyes made his heart jump.
He nodded. “Yes”
Hearing her sigh in relief lessened the tension he hadn’t even realised until now.
“May I borrow your PPG to shoot myself squarely in the head?”
Jeff smiled at her. “That won’t be necessary. This time.”
He was glad to see her smile in return.
“Thank you, Commander.” She turned to leave, but he called her name to hold her back.
She turned around to face him. “Yes?”
He had to ask her. He needed to know why she had been so hurt and scared that she was willing to end her career, which was everything for her.
“Why are you afraid of being scanned? Surely your mother must have made contact with your mind at one time or another?”
“Yes, she did. You can’t imagine what it’s like to share your own mother’s love for you. To feel it in your thoughts. No one’s ever been that close to me, Commander, and no one must ever intrude upon that memory - especially PSI-Corps.” She added before she left.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the door closed behind her, Jeff ran a hand through his hair as if to brush away all those confusing thoughts. Damned. What had gotten into him? Why did he all of a sudden have feelings towards Sus... his Second in Command, he corrected himself.
And then there was Catherine. Wasn’t he glad that they were back together again and that it actually seemed to be working out this time? Then how come all of a sudden, he was feeling an odd tingle running down his spine when he thought of Susan’s smile?
He had always been eager to help wherever he could, to take all the galaxy’s problems onto his shoulders, but with her it was different. He wasn’t just pleased that he had been able to help her. The urge to close his arms around her, to hold her tight, to keep her safe had been so strong when she had stood in front of him. It had taken all of his willpower not to act on it.
When she answered his question he had been glad that she trusted him enough to let him know why this was so important to her. But he wanted more. He wanted to see behind the mask of an Earth Force officer which she so carefully held in place. He wanted to see the woman, to see her, to see Susan.
And his body wanted things that weren’t as innocent as his thoughts.
The image of her hair spread out on his pillow forced itself into his mind. Her skin would be soft under his touch and he would devour every inch of it with soft kisses and then...
No! He had to stop thinking about doing those things to her right now or he would never be able to look her in the eye again.
Jeff went into the bathroom and splashed some cold water into his face. It didn’t exactly help. The newly risen tension in his body just wouldn’t go away.
Well, there was a simple way to get it over with, but he would rather give this station over to Ben Zayn then jerk off over his second in command.
Another flash of unwanted fantasies forced itself into his thoughts.
“Damn!”
He was screwed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Susan didn’t immediately return back on duty. Instead she dropped by at her quarters. She needed to calm down. But it wasn’t the thought of escaping the scan that had quickened her heart rate. It was the man who had given her the good news.
The door to her quarters closed behind her and she leaned with her back against the wall next to it.
She closed her eyes and regretted it when the image of Jeff Sinclair smiling at her appeared before her closed eyes. The image of those dimples sent a warm feeling into her stomach.
“Oh God,” Susan groaned. She covered her eyes with her hand and took a few deep breaths.
Sinclair was her commanding officer. She wasn’t supposed to think about him that way. And even if things were different, he wasn’t hers. He was in a relationship, and she was no one to steal another woman’s boyfriend.
Unfortunately her subconscious did not seem to care. She could see Jeff standing in front of her again as she had just minutes ago in his quarters. He had worn just the white shirt which belonged to Earth Force uniforms not the actual jacket. The top button had been undone.
Unbidden fantasies of her opening a few more of those buttons invaded her mind. She would slip her hand under the white fabric and let it start to roam over his torso. He would close his arms around her and kiss her.
At first it would be just a light brush of lips against lips but it would soon grow into something more passionate. His tongue would demand entrance and she would grant it, and they would...
Susan flung her eyes open wide. She could not, no, would not allow herself to follow these thoughts any further. It was ridiculous. Jeffrey Sinclair was her commanding officer. She could not think about him like this. Whatever tricks her mind tried to play on her, she wouldn’t allow this to go on any longer. Their relationship was strictly professional and she would make sure not to ever dream of anything else. It simply couldn’t be.
She sighed and straightened her uniform before she left her quarters.
But still, her mind wouldn’t let go.
You’re too important to me. The thought of him saying those words came into her mind while she was on her way to her station.
She pushed it away, dismissing any second guessing. He had meant that she was important to him as an officer. He had told her before that he thought she was a good officer. He valued how she did her job. Maybe he even considered her a friend. But that was it.
Stop making more out of this than it actually is, Susan, she told herself.
When she entered the hallway in front of the operations deck she finally succeeded, pushing away all those ridiculous thoughts and concentrated on her duties and what lay ahead of her. No more thoughts about Commander Sinclair she vowed herself.
And it seemed to work - for the moment at least.