ponder but why would u want to

[icecoldtaz]

hmm... i dont realy kno what to write i dont feel like writing about whats been going on cause realy its pointless and boring ok well i will say a few things and plz no jew comments afterward thank u :Warning my name has been changed because i felt like it so fuck u: ok here we go so last night was tuesday and the night of the second sedar im suposed to make an apearance at this involves 3 familys the loves which is our dies the sandlers my bubbies brothers side and the williamoskys my bubbies sisters side (may she rest in peace or what ever u want that would be nice for her) ok sp pretty much i have nothing to say except i feel like the familys are wanting to have nothing to do with me (not that i care) but in last years when ever i came everyone was like yay its steven hey roland how are you whats up etc. but now its like o hi its roland its like no one cares that im even around sure the wee ones care cause they have a blast with me buts it like they treat me like im some foreighn person not suposed to be there and its not like i have changed that much maybe apearence wise but why should that fucking matter as they say isnt it whats on the inside that counts? like my cousin caroline and me used to be inseperateable now its like she cant even stand to look at me and its gotten so bad that she had a friend that had flown in from florida who seemed to be gettign more attention like she was pasrt of the family more than i was and its not like im looking for attention its just that you kno a hi or hey how you doing would be nice at the least but i barely got so much as a glimse from a few people but it now i feel like im just wining o boo hoo steven didnt get atention everyone feel sry for steven when realy its just that i dont want to be seen as a criminal which is how i felt after going to this o so joyou event well it wasnt all bad atleast my little cousins are more mature than most of the people there which is realy sad just so u kno but i just played with holly, joey, and gary for most of the time and then my cousin teddy who is about 3-4 years yonger than me came to hes kool atleast he doesnt treat me that bad either and what realy sucks is that antoher 2 of my cousins sophie whos 3 and a dorable and hannah whos 5 werent aloud to come back and even say hi to me primarily cause her mom is a fucking little cunt she wouldnt let her own to children play with the others because i was there atleast thats what i belieave cause thats well there realy isnt any other explanation that could be the reason but i ended up being able to play with them any way i made there day by letting them walk on my feet going rahhhhhh like they were a dinosaur which was cute but of caurse ther parents didnt realy like them doing that realy thoguh i didnt wanat to go in the first place and its not the first time ive been feeling like this with the family pretty much i just had to get all of that out ya kno clear my mind cause its been building up but ya knoit would be nice if people learned to respect people for who they are and like i said before look on the inside cause im pretty much still the same person with a few changes possibly a few more rough edges all i realy want is some respect thats what this is all about when u summerize it but i barely even get that these day peace- Roland
p.s.- i hate fucking wining and i feel thats what this has bann about so if youve already read it then im sry