Choco Chips
Ebb and Flow-
I had a bit of a dying mishap. I was puting three streaks of pink in my bangs, and i touch some random part of my head with dye BY MISTAKE. So I now have a random dot of pink on my head. I'll just say it's modern art.
Yesterday he called me. He was tripping out on shrooms, and the trees were scaring him. He told me that he was going to be clean, that he stopped because he was going to get drug tested, and because he just didnt want to do drugs anymore. Everytime he says he's going to stop, but then i get a call from him saying that he's "mad fucked up". I guess the reason that i keep believing him is because i want to, i want to think that he will stop, but deep down (actually not that deep down) get the feeling that he wont, and everytime i'm right. I just wish that he would stop saying that he'll stop because he wont. He's lying to me and himself. I'm trying not to care anymore, but it's so hard because everytime i get a call or see im freaking out i can't help but want to be there for him. I want him to be safe. It's so hard to not care. I realize now that he's sad and pathetic. It's such a shame. I wish that he would see what he's doing to himself and to others.
There are three people i've been think of lately. And when i say thinking of what i really mean is contemplating my feelings towards them. In each situation I don't really need to think about my feelings because there are large obsticles (spelling?) in the way. I think that i just get caught up in the moment and i dont really like any of them...maybe. Oh well a fish fell. Man i want some R.
~M~
*I WANT MY DAMN YEARBOOK! I best get it today!
I had a bit of a dying mishap. I was puting three streaks of pink in my bangs, and i touch some random part of my head with dye BY MISTAKE. So I now have a random dot of pink on my head. I'll just say it's modern art.
Yesterday he called me. He was tripping out on shrooms, and the trees were scaring him. He told me that he was going to be clean, that he stopped because he was going to get drug tested, and because he just didnt want to do drugs anymore. Everytime he says he's going to stop, but then i get a call from him saying that he's "mad fucked up". I guess the reason that i keep believing him is because i want to, i want to think that he will stop, but deep down (actually not that deep down) get the feeling that he wont, and everytime i'm right. I just wish that he would stop saying that he'll stop because he wont. He's lying to me and himself. I'm trying not to care anymore, but it's so hard because everytime i get a call or see im freaking out i can't help but want to be there for him. I want him to be safe. It's so hard to not care. I realize now that he's sad and pathetic. It's such a shame. I wish that he would see what he's doing to himself and to others.
There are three people i've been think of lately. And when i say thinking of what i really mean is contemplating my feelings towards them. In each situation I don't really need to think about my feelings because there are large obsticles (spelling?) in the way. I think that i just get caught up in the moment and i dont really like any of them...maybe. Oh well a fish fell. Man i want some R.
~M~
*I WANT MY DAMN YEARBOOK! I best get it today!