these tears are from the fears of being defeated
I really need some prayer. Today has been the weirdest day..by far. I found out something about a friend in which I am not allowed to state. But trust me, it is quite odd. But also...today, my group that I pray with at school, BattleCry, got called hypocrites. We were told that we were like the hypocrites standing on the corner praying for all to see. But it's not even like that....we do it to make a difference...not at all to bring glory to ourselves...it's all for God. Apparently these guys don't see it that way. And sadly, it is coming from the only guys in the entirety of my school that I thought were pretty hip. Of course it had to be them. But I cried...alot..which is very unlike me. My eyes are now swollen. I don't think it is because of who said it exactly but more of how they made me doubt what I was doing for God. They made me think that maybe I hadn't heard God right....that I wasn't doing what God wanted me to do. That hurts me so bad. Just to doubt God in general sucks. Once again, I need prayer badly. It would help if I had someone to talk to about it. Someone who felt the same as myself. I talked to Ryan about it some..but I didn't go into details. I really wish I had someone who felt the same. Who knew of the trials satan sends..the temptation to give up...it's hard. Especially when your enemy comes up against you with scriptures and all you can say back is..."well, God told me too".