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Log Summary: Thes encounters Raine while in Narshe and shares her worries with Raine (OOC: An interesting exchange between two characters who have ICly experienced a lot of pain in their lives. I really liked this scene, a pity I dont scene with Raine as much as I should ;)
Narshe - Bridge
A long wooden bridge arches over most of the city, providing quite a rich view of Narshe and the mountains beyond it. On one end the bridge leads towards the city, while at the other end it heads into more caves. Down below, the rooftops of numerous thatched houses can be seen, close enough nearly to touch, and for a particularly agile person, to leap from rooftop to rooftop should they so desire. Further north over the horizon are the majestic snowpeaked Narshe mountains, and further around the city are still more, yet smaller mountains, most of them too high and too steep to scale, but quite impressive nonetheless..
-
It's another hectic day in the snowy village of Narshe; What with the sudden disappearance (read: kidnapping) of the elder having caused quite a stir in the Imperial armies, as well as in the already tense civilians who are mostly keeping in their homes now..Thesia is here too of course, acting as a leader for the IP although she seems rather troubled herself these days, as she leans against the bridge railing, peering down at the gently falling snow, which seems to nearly glow from the light reflected from the warm rays of the sun above..
-
With so few venturing out of their homes, it would be impossible to miss the lone figure that approaches the bridge, bundled in coat and hat over her blue jeans and boots. Raine is - miraculously - without the presence of her attendant moomba today. She notices Thesia as she draws near, of course, but there seems little reason to avoid the woman. With a slight shrug to herself, the petite woman steps onto the bridge, nearly slipping on the iced-over refreeze before she catches the rail to steady herself. "Whoop! Careful, Thesia. Looks like the footing's not so great, out here." It's a light, casual greeting, the sort two friends might exchange in passing.
-
Thesia frowns softly as she peers up at the gently falling snow, reaching out to catch a delicate crystalline flake in her hand although it doesnt melt but seems to sparkle and even dance a bit in her hand as if by magic causing her to sigh softly, closing her hand around the flake again in a fist as if to crush it..She's about to turn and walk away then before she catches sight of the slender woman who seems awfully familiar somehow and rises a bit from the railing, glancing down at the slippery surface at the warning before peering back at Raine, "Huh? You're...Raine, hmm, so you're here too then.." she frowns a bit, turning all the way around now so that her back is resting against the railing. Apparently she's not afraid of slipping and falling or perhaps she has other things on her mind right now, "Why are you here? Are you after the esper too?"
-
Keeping a firm grip on that railing - falling down on her tail would be painful, but falling off the bridge would be worse - Raine offers Thesia an easy smile. "Lot of excitement in Narshe, these days. Why shouldn't I be here? ...besides, I can't remember the last time I went sledding. I thought I might give it a try," she quips. "And you - you're here representing the Imperial interests, of course. How are things going for ShinRa?"
-
Thesia blinks slowly peering back at Raine rather warily, shaking her head, "Of course..You're with the heartless, arent you..And they probably want the power of that esper for themselves..Same thing for the Imperial Power, only.." she sighs, half-turning to glance out at the village again, seeming terribly troubled still. "These are the Empire's wishes, not mine.." she smirks, peering back at her again, "But I suppose you could care less..Who cares about one life, power is all that matters..Isnt that what the heartless were always after? Funny, seems everyone has the same goals now, maybe the only difference is how they plan to use that power.." tilting her head, she steps a little nearer at her so that their piercing gaze meets her own, "And what about you? Do you desire that power too? Is that why you joined the heartless?"
-
It's pointless to deny her affiliation with the Heartless, given her previous conversation with Thesia. Raising her eyebrows curiously, she asks instead, "If you don't agree with the Empire, why do you work for them? Or is it something specific to do with the Esper that's got you bothered?" Her smile is wry. "You might be surprised what I care about. I thought I explained it before: I'm doing this to prevent pain. Power doesn't really matter to me."
-
Thesia shakes her head, "I owe Shinra everything..If it werent for Shinra, I wouldnt be alive, I wouldnt be strong, I wouldnt be a SOLDIER even..I probably would have died a long time ago, or been left a little weakling straggling on the streets of the Midgar slums, only..I could never betray my own kin.." she sighs, looking down at her clenched hands on the railings, her grip so tight that it looks like she might actually crush it - or she would were she stronger, "I'm...I'm a half-esper, I could never betray my own kin like that..But I'm also a SOLDIER, and the Shinra is as much a family to me as the espers are, or should be.." the mention of pain causes her to smile darkly in return, "For a moment, I thought that joining the heartless would mean I wouldnt have to choose anymore, I wouldnt be constantly attached to material things, and feel concern for the people I care about, or to feel pain for the many people I had lost in life, only it was worse than that..Watching Horai suffer like that, like he didnt have a choice..Could it really be worth the price of freedom in exchange for an end to all pain and suffering?" she glances back at her, curiously again, "But..You arent a heartless, are you? You at least seem a lot more human than those creatures there..Did they give you that much freedom then?"
-
"Life is hardest of all on the most defenseless - on children," Raine notes, false smile fading to gravity. She's visibly surprised by Thesia's confession of her lineage, and spends a distracted moment conversing with Griever. Is that really possible? It is, eh? How about that. "...Well, that explains the source of your conflict. And they put you in charge of things here, too, didn't they?" The woman gives a low, sympathetic whistle. Tough call, that.
"Freedom's what you make of it, anyway," she continues. "There are always constraints upon us. And if losing one's freedom is the price to end the world's suffering - to keep those children from living childhoods like yours - it's well worth it." Her smile returns, but it is bleak. "Isn't that worth any price, any cost at all? I think so. What would you give, right now, to avoid having to make the choice before you?"
-
"Huh?...I dont..Really know.." she seems rather surprised by her words of apparent wisdom, nearly caught off-guard by them even and a brief look of confusion crosses her face as she ponders this. "Right now, I have everything that I care about and I dont want to lose it, like I did in the past..But I know now that nothing lasts forever, and that pain is inevitable..Even with all this power, I couldnt save a child that was dear to me, nor was I able to protect my world from the heartless or even my family and friends, and now? I dont know if I could choose between remaining loyal to my family that has been there for me since I was born, and protecting a lineage that I only recently learned about..If there was a way that I could kill this feeling of guilt inside of me, that I wouldnt have to choose between 'right' and 'wrong' anymore then I would do it, but..I could never do that to Horai, it'd break his heart.." she glances back at Raine again, curiously, "And what about you? arent there people who love you, who are worried about you? Surely you have a family, or are you an orphan too? Was it worth forgetting about them just to kill whatever pain you've had to endure in the past? Life is...Difficult, but is that the only way to make the pain go away?"
-
"Power," Raine echoes. "It sounds like I don't have to tell you that power's an illusion. You've seen a lot of things, Thesia: Have you ever seen a society where power solved everyone's problems? Have you seen a kingdom or a country where even most of the people were genuinely happy and well-cared for? Power just creates tyrants, and corrupts - and in the end, you still can't prevent people from dying, or keep those left behind from mourning them. You were in Hollow Bastion before," she notes. "You must have thought these things over. You know there's a way to keep everyone from hurting - even your Horai. There's pain down that road, it's true," she says sadly. "But it won't last forever."
A bit startled by the turn of conversation toward herself, Raine shakes her head. "No. There's no one for me." But she sounds a little shaken. "The moomba said... but, no. Just mistaken identity. If I did have a family," she continues firmly, "I'd be more certain than ever that I'm doing the right thing. If there was someone I loved, I definitely wouldn't want them to feel pain. What I feel?" She shrugs the idea away. "Doesn't matter. I'll endure it, if it means ending everyone else's suffering."
-
Thesia sighs, "I know..That's what Rai's always telling me, only I believe that if I were stronger, I could have protected the people I cared about the most. Power doesnt always have to be used for destruction. Sometimes it can be used to protect people too..But when people become corrupted by their thirst for power, that's when it destroys." she peers back at her again with that intense, piercing gaze of hers as if she were searching her eyes for something more, perhaps for an answer to her eternal question, "But..The heartless are no different really..Surely you must see this, look at the hundreds that have died and had to endure so much pain because of the heartless..Raine, are you okay with that? I dont think the heartless really suits a person like you, anymore than it suits someone like me.." a soft smile graces her slender lips then, an almost warm, compassionate smile for the mysterious yet unusually quiet woman before her, "I'm sure, we're a lot more alike than you might realize, we've both experienced a kind of pain, both felt we were alone in the world..But at least the Shinra isnt trying to destroy *everything* in their quest for power..that's the difference betwen the heartless and the Imperial Power."
-
"Death's ... regrettable," Raine admits. "So is the pain necessary in the dying. But it's the only way anybody knows from here to oblivion." She says it so wistfully, as though she were relaying driving directions to the local Pizza Hut. She gives the half-esper a perfectly reasonable smile. "But that's the thing, entirely: The Heartless /do/ want to destroy everything. When there's nothing left, there'll be no more room for pain, either." Thence, her involvement. It makes perfect sense! ...if you are slightly insane. All of the Heartless are, to some extent.
-
"What...?! What the heck are you saying!?" okay, that*definitely* sounds wrong, to her at least and she seems no longer to be in doubt of any kind; In fact, her whole mood has changed now as she narrows her eyes to slits, glaring back at her fiercely now and taking a few bold steps nearer, "I cannot BELIEVE I'm hearing such an insane, crazy, twisted...What the heck is WRONG with you!? I understand having felt pain and suffering and wanting to cut it off..But to inflict that pain upon others? That's just totally wrong! I mean, even if we're hurting, at least we know we're still alive, and as long as you're alive, you can fight back! All you need is to become strong so you can protect your loved ones and at least you can prevent anyone else from feeling pain!!"
She laughs a bit, shaking her head as she continues to stride past Raine, but pauses halfway across the bridge, "It all seems so clear to me now, I need to do whatever it takes to become strong, so I can fight for the people that are still alive, no matter what it takes...And I wont let you, or anyone else stop me. Remember that, Raine, you're my enemy, and if you or your little heartless friends get in my way, we WILL fight you! Consider this your only warning.."
-
And just what did you think Raine meant with all her talk of 'ending pain'? Not joining the ranks of the Heartless. There's no end to pain, there - just a mission. Standing placidly with her hands around the bridge rail, she listens to Thesia's explosive declaration, watching her walk away sadly. "Will this esper everyone's looking for feed hungry children, Thesia? I doubt it. Seek your power, but I think you'll find it hollow, in the end. Some things, not all the power in the world can fix. But if you really want to try..." She shrugs. "Good luck, I guess."
-
"No Raine..Destroying everything isnt the solution either. I know what it's like to feel lonely, and to suffer, to lose everything you hold dear, but is that a reason to give up on life? I'm sure you can make a new life for yourself, make new friends, and who knows, maybe one day you'll find that you arent really alone in the world.." she frowns, "If I find this esper and use it's power to help protect this world, this universe from the heartless, then at least those children will have a world to live in, and they'll have some kind of hope to believe in, you wouldnt believe what a powerful thing hope is, maybe that's the only thing that kept me going all these years.." she looks down at her clenched fist, relaxing it slightly, "I'll deliver that hope to everyone, and then maybe someday, in a world where violence and bloodshed is no longer necessary, those people will be able to rebuild and actually learn to live.." smirking, she glances briefly over her shoulder at Raine once more, "Maybe one day you'll find a reason to live too Raine, I just hope you dont throw your life away like I nearly did, and realize too late that there really ARE people out there who care for you.." phew, she's starting to sound like Horai here, and it actually catches HER by surprise..Not too long ago, she would have made a similar speech like Raine's but.."Goodbye, Raine, I hope that the next time we meet I wont have to fight you because of our differences. You seem like you could be a really nice person..Till next time.." she salutes then, the typical Shinra salute - more by habit than anything else - before she turns and continues to stride down the bridge, quickly vanishing from sight..
Narshe - Bridge
A long wooden bridge arches over most of the city, providing quite a rich view of Narshe and the mountains beyond it. On one end the bridge leads towards the city, while at the other end it heads into more caves. Down below, the rooftops of numerous thatched houses can be seen, close enough nearly to touch, and for a particularly agile person, to leap from rooftop to rooftop should they so desire. Further north over the horizon are the majestic snowpeaked Narshe mountains, and further around the city are still more, yet smaller mountains, most of them too high and too steep to scale, but quite impressive nonetheless..
-
It's another hectic day in the snowy village of Narshe; What with the sudden disappearance (read: kidnapping) of the elder having caused quite a stir in the Imperial armies, as well as in the already tense civilians who are mostly keeping in their homes now..Thesia is here too of course, acting as a leader for the IP although she seems rather troubled herself these days, as she leans against the bridge railing, peering down at the gently falling snow, which seems to nearly glow from the light reflected from the warm rays of the sun above..
-
With so few venturing out of their homes, it would be impossible to miss the lone figure that approaches the bridge, bundled in coat and hat over her blue jeans and boots. Raine is - miraculously - without the presence of her attendant moomba today. She notices Thesia as she draws near, of course, but there seems little reason to avoid the woman. With a slight shrug to herself, the petite woman steps onto the bridge, nearly slipping on the iced-over refreeze before she catches the rail to steady herself. "Whoop! Careful, Thesia. Looks like the footing's not so great, out here." It's a light, casual greeting, the sort two friends might exchange in passing.
-
Thesia frowns softly as she peers up at the gently falling snow, reaching out to catch a delicate crystalline flake in her hand although it doesnt melt but seems to sparkle and even dance a bit in her hand as if by magic causing her to sigh softly, closing her hand around the flake again in a fist as if to crush it..She's about to turn and walk away then before she catches sight of the slender woman who seems awfully familiar somehow and rises a bit from the railing, glancing down at the slippery surface at the warning before peering back at Raine, "Huh? You're...Raine, hmm, so you're here too then.." she frowns a bit, turning all the way around now so that her back is resting against the railing. Apparently she's not afraid of slipping and falling or perhaps she has other things on her mind right now, "Why are you here? Are you after the esper too?"
-
Keeping a firm grip on that railing - falling down on her tail would be painful, but falling off the bridge would be worse - Raine offers Thesia an easy smile. "Lot of excitement in Narshe, these days. Why shouldn't I be here? ...besides, I can't remember the last time I went sledding. I thought I might give it a try," she quips. "And you - you're here representing the Imperial interests, of course. How are things going for ShinRa?"
-
Thesia blinks slowly peering back at Raine rather warily, shaking her head, "Of course..You're with the heartless, arent you..And they probably want the power of that esper for themselves..Same thing for the Imperial Power, only.." she sighs, half-turning to glance out at the village again, seeming terribly troubled still. "These are the Empire's wishes, not mine.." she smirks, peering back at her again, "But I suppose you could care less..Who cares about one life, power is all that matters..Isnt that what the heartless were always after? Funny, seems everyone has the same goals now, maybe the only difference is how they plan to use that power.." tilting her head, she steps a little nearer at her so that their piercing gaze meets her own, "And what about you? Do you desire that power too? Is that why you joined the heartless?"
-
It's pointless to deny her affiliation with the Heartless, given her previous conversation with Thesia. Raising her eyebrows curiously, she asks instead, "If you don't agree with the Empire, why do you work for them? Or is it something specific to do with the Esper that's got you bothered?" Her smile is wry. "You might be surprised what I care about. I thought I explained it before: I'm doing this to prevent pain. Power doesn't really matter to me."
-
Thesia shakes her head, "I owe Shinra everything..If it werent for Shinra, I wouldnt be alive, I wouldnt be strong, I wouldnt be a SOLDIER even..I probably would have died a long time ago, or been left a little weakling straggling on the streets of the Midgar slums, only..I could never betray my own kin.." she sighs, looking down at her clenched hands on the railings, her grip so tight that it looks like she might actually crush it - or she would were she stronger, "I'm...I'm a half-esper, I could never betray my own kin like that..But I'm also a SOLDIER, and the Shinra is as much a family to me as the espers are, or should be.." the mention of pain causes her to smile darkly in return, "For a moment, I thought that joining the heartless would mean I wouldnt have to choose anymore, I wouldnt be constantly attached to material things, and feel concern for the people I care about, or to feel pain for the many people I had lost in life, only it was worse than that..Watching Horai suffer like that, like he didnt have a choice..Could it really be worth the price of freedom in exchange for an end to all pain and suffering?" she glances back at her, curiously again, "But..You arent a heartless, are you? You at least seem a lot more human than those creatures there..Did they give you that much freedom then?"
-
"Life is hardest of all on the most defenseless - on children," Raine notes, false smile fading to gravity. She's visibly surprised by Thesia's confession of her lineage, and spends a distracted moment conversing with Griever. Is that really possible? It is, eh? How about that. "...Well, that explains the source of your conflict. And they put you in charge of things here, too, didn't they?" The woman gives a low, sympathetic whistle. Tough call, that.
"Freedom's what you make of it, anyway," she continues. "There are always constraints upon us. And if losing one's freedom is the price to end the world's suffering - to keep those children from living childhoods like yours - it's well worth it." Her smile returns, but it is bleak. "Isn't that worth any price, any cost at all? I think so. What would you give, right now, to avoid having to make the choice before you?"
-
"Huh?...I dont..Really know.." she seems rather surprised by her words of apparent wisdom, nearly caught off-guard by them even and a brief look of confusion crosses her face as she ponders this. "Right now, I have everything that I care about and I dont want to lose it, like I did in the past..But I know now that nothing lasts forever, and that pain is inevitable..Even with all this power, I couldnt save a child that was dear to me, nor was I able to protect my world from the heartless or even my family and friends, and now? I dont know if I could choose between remaining loyal to my family that has been there for me since I was born, and protecting a lineage that I only recently learned about..If there was a way that I could kill this feeling of guilt inside of me, that I wouldnt have to choose between 'right' and 'wrong' anymore then I would do it, but..I could never do that to Horai, it'd break his heart.." she glances back at Raine again, curiously, "And what about you? arent there people who love you, who are worried about you? Surely you have a family, or are you an orphan too? Was it worth forgetting about them just to kill whatever pain you've had to endure in the past? Life is...Difficult, but is that the only way to make the pain go away?"
-
"Power," Raine echoes. "It sounds like I don't have to tell you that power's an illusion. You've seen a lot of things, Thesia: Have you ever seen a society where power solved everyone's problems? Have you seen a kingdom or a country where even most of the people were genuinely happy and well-cared for? Power just creates tyrants, and corrupts - and in the end, you still can't prevent people from dying, or keep those left behind from mourning them. You were in Hollow Bastion before," she notes. "You must have thought these things over. You know there's a way to keep everyone from hurting - even your Horai. There's pain down that road, it's true," she says sadly. "But it won't last forever."
A bit startled by the turn of conversation toward herself, Raine shakes her head. "No. There's no one for me." But she sounds a little shaken. "The moomba said... but, no. Just mistaken identity. If I did have a family," she continues firmly, "I'd be more certain than ever that I'm doing the right thing. If there was someone I loved, I definitely wouldn't want them to feel pain. What I feel?" She shrugs the idea away. "Doesn't matter. I'll endure it, if it means ending everyone else's suffering."
-
Thesia sighs, "I know..That's what Rai's always telling me, only I believe that if I were stronger, I could have protected the people I cared about the most. Power doesnt always have to be used for destruction. Sometimes it can be used to protect people too..But when people become corrupted by their thirst for power, that's when it destroys." she peers back at her again with that intense, piercing gaze of hers as if she were searching her eyes for something more, perhaps for an answer to her eternal question, "But..The heartless are no different really..Surely you must see this, look at the hundreds that have died and had to endure so much pain because of the heartless..Raine, are you okay with that? I dont think the heartless really suits a person like you, anymore than it suits someone like me.." a soft smile graces her slender lips then, an almost warm, compassionate smile for the mysterious yet unusually quiet woman before her, "I'm sure, we're a lot more alike than you might realize, we've both experienced a kind of pain, both felt we were alone in the world..But at least the Shinra isnt trying to destroy *everything* in their quest for power..that's the difference betwen the heartless and the Imperial Power."
-
"Death's ... regrettable," Raine admits. "So is the pain necessary in the dying. But it's the only way anybody knows from here to oblivion." She says it so wistfully, as though she were relaying driving directions to the local Pizza Hut. She gives the half-esper a perfectly reasonable smile. "But that's the thing, entirely: The Heartless /do/ want to destroy everything. When there's nothing left, there'll be no more room for pain, either." Thence, her involvement. It makes perfect sense! ...if you are slightly insane. All of the Heartless are, to some extent.
-
"What...?! What the heck are you saying!?" okay, that*definitely* sounds wrong, to her at least and she seems no longer to be in doubt of any kind; In fact, her whole mood has changed now as she narrows her eyes to slits, glaring back at her fiercely now and taking a few bold steps nearer, "I cannot BELIEVE I'm hearing such an insane, crazy, twisted...What the heck is WRONG with you!? I understand having felt pain and suffering and wanting to cut it off..But to inflict that pain upon others? That's just totally wrong! I mean, even if we're hurting, at least we know we're still alive, and as long as you're alive, you can fight back! All you need is to become strong so you can protect your loved ones and at least you can prevent anyone else from feeling pain!!"
She laughs a bit, shaking her head as she continues to stride past Raine, but pauses halfway across the bridge, "It all seems so clear to me now, I need to do whatever it takes to become strong, so I can fight for the people that are still alive, no matter what it takes...And I wont let you, or anyone else stop me. Remember that, Raine, you're my enemy, and if you or your little heartless friends get in my way, we WILL fight you! Consider this your only warning.."
-
And just what did you think Raine meant with all her talk of 'ending pain'? Not joining the ranks of the Heartless. There's no end to pain, there - just a mission. Standing placidly with her hands around the bridge rail, she listens to Thesia's explosive declaration, watching her walk away sadly. "Will this esper everyone's looking for feed hungry children, Thesia? I doubt it. Seek your power, but I think you'll find it hollow, in the end. Some things, not all the power in the world can fix. But if you really want to try..." She shrugs. "Good luck, I guess."
-
"No Raine..Destroying everything isnt the solution either. I know what it's like to feel lonely, and to suffer, to lose everything you hold dear, but is that a reason to give up on life? I'm sure you can make a new life for yourself, make new friends, and who knows, maybe one day you'll find that you arent really alone in the world.." she frowns, "If I find this esper and use it's power to help protect this world, this universe from the heartless, then at least those children will have a world to live in, and they'll have some kind of hope to believe in, you wouldnt believe what a powerful thing hope is, maybe that's the only thing that kept me going all these years.." she looks down at her clenched fist, relaxing it slightly, "I'll deliver that hope to everyone, and then maybe someday, in a world where violence and bloodshed is no longer necessary, those people will be able to rebuild and actually learn to live.." smirking, she glances briefly over her shoulder at Raine once more, "Maybe one day you'll find a reason to live too Raine, I just hope you dont throw your life away like I nearly did, and realize too late that there really ARE people out there who care for you.." phew, she's starting to sound like Horai here, and it actually catches HER by surprise..Not too long ago, she would have made a similar speech like Raine's but.."Goodbye, Raine, I hope that the next time we meet I wont have to fight you because of our differences. You seem like you could be a really nice person..Till next time.." she salutes then, the typical Shinra salute - more by habit than anything else - before she turns and continues to stride down the bridge, quickly vanishing from sight..