Prompts: 25 "Jensen Ackles: In a world of dreams I'm a frequent flyer" for spn_30snapshots
Title: "Tell it like it is"
Author: the_milky_way
Character(s)/Pairing: Jensen Ackles (Jared/Jensen)
Theme: Jensen Ackles: In a world of dreams I'm a frequent flyer
Prompt(s): 25. Heart
Words: ~ 3.125
Rating: PG-13
Beta: Thanks so much for your help and suggestions akintay
Disclaimer: This is not true. It never happened and I don't own anything.
Summary:“Valentine's Day... Jensen thinks it’s a stupid day and he would appreciate it very much if people on and off set would stop trying to tell him otherwise. Of course, Jared is all for it, carrying chocolates and cards around for those who won’t be on set that day. Jared even writes to family and exes. He’s just that guy.
Notes: This was written for mihka_mc who prompted me with Jensen keeps making fun of Jared cause, when he write to people he loves (family, him, friends), he put a heart instead of a point on the i and j in his name or words.
Two days before Valentine’s Day and Jensen feels more than just a little morose. He’s not down or anything, it’s more being annoyed at all the ads and people telling him how awesome this day is.
He’s never believed in it anyway.
None of his girlfriends ever cared. Not even Danneel, when they were engaged, cared much about it. He brought her flowers through the year, was attentive on more days than just this one and she never complained or hinted that she minded that he ignored Valentine's Day.
Jensen thinks it’s a stupid day and he would appreciate it very much if people on and off set would stop trying to tell him otherwise. Of course, Jared is all for it, carrying chocolates and cards around for those who won’t be on set that day. Jared even writes to family and exes. He’s just that guy.
So Jared has been trying to get Jensen out of his funk for a week now and Jensen is this close to finally either giving in or bashing Jared’s head in. Okay, he knows it will be the first of the two but still, after seven years, Jared still manages to rile Jensen up and sometimes not in a good way.
Jensen stomps through the drizzle that has been coming down for days and just wants to hide away in his trailer - for once praying that Jared has the decency to know not to take up too much of Jensen’s space.
The hope is futile since Jensen knows Jared never spends time in his own trailer anymore. Not since the thing with Gen went spectacularly down the drain and Jared, in a rare show of anger and desperation, redecorated it from the bottom to the top. Jared hates it with a vengeance but refuses to do anything about it.
There’s only one trailer now, the only one in use anyway, has been for a few months. It never even crossed Jensen’s mind to demand that Jared got his things back in order. He doesn’t think about it, not too much anyway. Danneel only laughed him in the face when he told her about the trailer. Now, the tiny voice that tells him to man up already and take the final step, sounds suspiciously like Danneel. That tiny voice that manages to worm it's way through Jensen's walls. Walls that should be impenetrable and sturdy, like Sam's were supposed to be.
That worked out so well after all.
Sometimes, Jensen thinks he’s referring way too much to Supernatural’s imagery when it comes to trying to define his own confusing thoughts. That his hallucination comes in the form of his ex-fiancé instead of Lucifer is just his version of hell. And he actually still really loves Danneel. Just not the way she deserved.
The second Jensen pushes through the door, in a haste to get out of the cold and the rather icy rain, he groans. For a second he thinks he took the wrong door, stepped into the wrong trailer. He’s about to step back out again but then he sees Jared sitting cross-legged on the couch, pen stuck between lips, brow furrowed and untamed hair falling into his eyes.
“Dude! Seriously?” is all Jensen manages to say before Sadie demands attention and almost knocks him off his feet in her enthusiasm. She’s been a little more clingy ever since her best buddy left her alone. Jensen’s only too willing to indulge, he loves her and he misses him, too.
Icky just blinks at him from behind a mass of white and pink silk bands that somehow ended up wound around the bathroom door knob. Jensen’s afraid to look up and see what’s attached to the other end of them. Oscar is nowhere to be found.
Seeing the way his one place of relaxation on set has turned into a nightmare of pink, Jensen wishes he could follow Oscar’s example and just vanish. He’s so not in the mood to deal with Jared’s stupid attempts to get Jensen to like Valentine’s Day.
“Oh hey… Hi, Jensen. I.. uh… sorry, thought I’d be done by now. I’ll be out of your way in a minute,” Jared sounds flustered and embarrassed, a little sad as well. Jensen blinks and just like that his annoyance takes a huge step back and his concern for Jared pushes forward.
“No rush, man. Just surprised me, ‘s all. Pink’s not really my color.” Jensen tries to smile, feels it’s a little strained but almost sighs in relief when Jared grins. Where this sudden tension between them is coming from is a little beyond Jensen right now.
He’s exhausted, has been thrown against walls and tables and doors for the good part of the last three hours and he just wants to take a break right now. Maybe nap and cuddle with the dogs. Not that he cuddles - the dogs do though, and Jensen isn’t grumpy enough to not let them.
“What’s all this anyway?” Because yes, Jensen wants to know.
“Oh, just for some of the crew. Remember the bet we had going with Kim? About how many of us would get married during the run of the show? I promised to hand a balloon and chocolates over to every married couple on Valentine’s if we should make it to year seven.”
And yes, Jensen remembers, feels a twang of loss in his chest and when he looks at Jared he knows that he’s not the only one. It’s not only about Kim, it’s about their failed attempts at married life as well. But mostly, it’s about Kim.
Jensen smiles then, flops down on the couch right next to Jared, steals a chocolate heart and just lets himself sink back into the cushions.
“Go ahead then, don’t let me stop you. Don’t mind if I take a nap, do ya?”
Jared doesn’t say anything but goes back to writing the cards that lay scattered on the small table in front of the couch. Jensen feels himself relax, sinking deeper into the couch and tilting towards the warmth of Jared’s body.
Last thing he registers is Jared dotting the i’s and j’s on the card with little hearts. He snorts, wants to say something, mock Jared mercilessly but is asleep before he can.
***
He gets his chance the next day, when he finds Jared writing even more cards. Jensen’s already giving up asking for whom those are, because Jared never answers anyway.
It’s one of the rare day’s off. Rainy and cold, really inviting Jensen to be lazing around, doing nothing but read, flipping through the channels and watching Jared preparing everything for the Day of Love, as he likes to call it.
How Jensen ended up living at Jared’s place again is a story he never knows how to tell, mostly because he has no idea how it really happened. Both broken up over missed chances, failed relationships and not really willing to be alone all over again.
It had worked before, agreeing that it will work again had been way too easy.
“What’s with the hearts, Jay?”
Jensen doesn’t know why he asks now, was just in the middle of finally finishing a book he’s wanted to read for months, then looked up and saw Jared biting his lip while scribbling away on a purple heart shaped card.
“Huh?” Jared doesn’t even look up, reaches down to scratch Sadie’s head when he (she) lifts it from his thigh. Other than the muttered question, Jared doesn’t react. The smile flitting over his own lips is unexpected, like he has no control over it and Jensen has to look away from Jared for a second.
His heart skips a beat, unexpected as well, and Jensen frowns. It’s not the first time, far from it, but lately Jensen has a hard time ignoring it, like he has done almost from the beginning. He rubs his suddenly sweaty palm over his thigh, pushes his glasses up his nose and cranes his neck again to look at Jared over the back of the couch.
“The hearts on your i’s and j’s?” Jensen says softly, hopes for a split second Jared hasn’t heard him because it’s suddenly embarrassing to even have said those words. This time Jared looks up, smiles a little and then looks back down on the cards.
“It’s kinda like a joke. When Jeff was ten he didn’t get a single Valentines at school. He was so sad and I sat down and wrote him one. Tried to hide that it was from me by dotting the i‘s and j’s with hearts. You know, like the girls used to do.” Jared has stopped writing and is now looking directly at Jensen.
“Only, he knew my handwriting pretty well. Hit me over the head with the card and chased me through the house. I ended up crying into my momma’s neck while she admonished him for over an hour.” Jared laughs then, shakes his head and grins a little embarrassed.
Just this, the way Jared looks this moment, innocent, young and so very adorable, has Jensen swallowing hard. The smile that’s fully on his own lips should be hurting by now it’s so wide.
“He came to me room later, hugged me and said thank you. We never talked about it. But ever since then it’s kind of an inside joke. Have been doing the hearts on Valentine cards. You know, but only for people I love. Everyone else gets ordinary dots.”
Jensen laughs out loud then, can’t keep it inside anymore and shakes his head. Jared’s amazing and sometimes Jensen doesn’t even know how to deal with it.
“Next time you call me a girl or Jenny, I’ll hold that over your head.”
Jared’s rumble of a laugh echoes through the room and Jensen has to look away again, pretends to go back to reading his book and fruitlessly tries to get rid of the idiotic grin still plastered to his face.
***
Valentine’s Day sees Jensen hiding around set even more than usual when he wants to have a quiet moment. Everyone’s way too cheery and happy. The thing is, Jensen doesn’t really mind and it scares him a little.
But this day started strange already and Jensen isn't prepared for all the surprises that seem to find him every five minutes. First it had been a heart shaped box of candy on the seat next to him in the car. Clif had just shrugged, looked as blank as always and hadn’t said a word. Yeah, as if he would do something like that.
Then it had been his meticulously cleaned up trailer. No traces of pink ribbons or card glitter or chocolate wrappers to be found. Just a single rose with a little chocolate heart attached to it. Jensen had been ready to shout for Jared only to realize how ridiculous he would look, freaked out by a clean trailer and a rose. He wasn’t that freaked out after all.
Only, he was, just a little. And still is, because the surprises keep coming and Jensen doubts they’ll end any time soon. The day will be long and he’s far from being able to go home and hide in his room.
There’s an orange card attached to his director’s chair when he reaches their current filming location. Jared’s nowhere to be found but then Jared’s not due to shoot until after Jensen’s done with his scene. The disappointment that Jared’s not there to watch him has Jensen frown and snort at himself.
He’s getting pathetic in his old days as it seems. Even more so than he already was.
The card has a printed, ridiculously sweet and sappy poem in it. But it isn’t signed. Jensen laughs at it, pretends not to be too creeped out by it and tugs it away in one of the pockets of Dean's jacket.
The cards keep coming. Poems Jensen wouldn’t even dare to read out loud to the dogs. The make him sputter, blush, laugh out loud and groan in embarrassment throughout the day. They also make Jared guffaw, head thrown back and eyes sparkling in delight. This alone is worth any kind of embarrassment Jensen has to suffer through. It’s been a while since he’s seen Jared this carefree.
They joke about who could be the secret admirer. Jensen tries hard not to suspect Jared because if he’s wrong the disappointment won’t be worth it. He enjoys Jared’s mood, loves the way they keep on mocking each other over the Valentine’s they do get from crew members and Jared manages to keep Jensen from hiding too much at the end of the day.
***
Jensen knows something is wrong the second he sets foot inside the house. It’s too quiet. No dogs come running and Jensen’s still standing instead of being sprawled on the floor being decked in doggy kisses.
It’s such a vast difference from any day he’s come home during the last few months that he just stands there for a minute, confused and unable to properly react.
It’s the only explanation for why it takes him so long to see the purple, heart shaped card attached to the hallway mirror. He carefully detaches it, flips it open and stares for a second. The he laughs out loud.
There’s a stupid, sappy poem on one side and it’s just as horrid as the ones he’s been getting during the day. The little hope that it might have been Jared flares up again, pushes the disappointment that Jared had only giving him a fun card with not heart dotted letters and that refused to let up all day into the background.
The other side of the card reads: Will you be my Valentine? Jared hearts dotting the i’s and j’s.
“Only for people I love,” Jared whispers against his ear. Jensen shivers, leans against the broad, warm chest behind him and lets himself feel, just for a minute. Then he turns so that he can see Jared. If they are doing this, he wants to see him.
“Jared…”
“Answer the questions first,” Jared interrupts him, hands on either side of Jensen’s hips, eyes bright, curious and waiting. “Please, Jensen.”
There’s not even a moment of hesitation then.
“Yes. I’ll be your Valentine. Even if I hate the whole damn day.”
The laughter bubbles out of Jared, freely and uninhibited, like it did all day. Jensen joins him, leans closer and stops wondering what the hell they are doing there and then. He’s not in the mood to question it all anyway.
And if he’s honest with himself, he has to admit that they might have been heading this way for a while now. Only, Jensen is good at denial and he’s pretty sure Jared’s just as much an expert with it.
The kiss isn’t unexpected but it has Jensen’s mind reeling nonetheless.
***
The room’s dark, warm and feels like the only place Jensen wants to spent his life in. Strong arms are wrapped around his body, holding him close and he never thought that this would be something he wanted, needed even.
Nothing really happened. Kisses, looks that told so much and settled that clenched feeling his stomach. Touches, soft and sure, sliding over skin, making his heart skip and calm down at the same time. Low words that fit, that were right and told a truth he never knew he wanted to know.
Jensen sighs then, blinks against the darkness and tries to look at the body lying cuddle up next to him. It’s harder then he thought it would be but he smiles nonetheless at the open mouth and tousled hair he can make out.
“It’s okay, Jensen,” is mumbled against his cheek a few minutes later. The low, soft, sleep rough voice doesn’t startle him as much as make him wonder when he’d gotten so attuned to Jared that he knew when the other man woke up.
“Is it?”
Jared’s the one to sigh then, pulling Jensen closer, settling them in an embrace Jensen would have never thought possible with their 6ft plus infinite inches frames. It feels safer, more natural than it should.
“Told ya, I was gonna tell you the truth eventually. ‘s why Gen left. As bad as it got, and as bad as I felt about it all. I couldn’t not try and tell you. This day was just so perfect for it even though I thought you might kill me for choosing it.”
“Was close to. Those cards were seriously creepy, Jay,” it’s said with amusement shining through and Jensen feels proud of himself that he manages to sound way less freaked out than he’d actually been.
“Your face every time was awesome though.” And of course Jared would take delight in it all. Creeper that he can be. For some reason, Jensen isn’t even mad at him for that.
“You thought you wouldn’t get heart dots, did ya?” And Jared knows him way too well. “Aww, Jen.” There’s a kiss on his cheek and Jared’s definitely trying to squeeze the life out of him just then but all Jensen can do is laugh.
“There’s a reason why I let you see, why I told you this story,” is whispered against his ear then.
“Your subtle way of telling me?”
“Hoped it wouldn’t be subtle but very straightforward. I know it’s too soon, just wanted you to know anyway.”
Jensen doesn’t say anything to that, knows Jared’s right, knows there’s so much to talk about, to clear between them. It’s not the right moment though.
It’s not all said and done. Far from it. But Jensen shifts, turns in Jared’s embrace so that he can touch Jared’s hip. Then he lets his fingertip slide over skin, slow and smooth, drawing out words Jensen’s sure Jared recognizes.
Jared’s breath hitches, Jensen feels it against his chest and smiles, draws the letters carefully all over again.
My Valentine. Jensen.
“Heart dots?”
“Heart dots,” Jensen says and pulls Jared into a slow, soft kiss.
Valentine’s Day has been over for hours and Jensen survived. He still hates it, still thinks it’s a stupid day. But he loves the fact that Jared used this day to say something very important, something Jensen didn’t know he needed to hear.
He writes his name on Jared’s skin a hundred times that night. Every time the j is dotted with a heart, every time Jared kisses him more fiercely.
The End
Author: the_milky_way
Character(s)/Pairing: Jensen Ackles (Jared/Jensen)
Theme: Jensen Ackles: In a world of dreams I'm a frequent flyer
Prompt(s): 25. Heart
Words: ~ 3.125
Rating: PG-13
Beta: Thanks so much for your help and suggestions akintay
Disclaimer: This is not true. It never happened and I don't own anything.
Summary:“Valentine's Day... Jensen thinks it’s a stupid day and he would appreciate it very much if people on and off set would stop trying to tell him otherwise. Of course, Jared is all for it, carrying chocolates and cards around for those who won’t be on set that day. Jared even writes to family and exes. He’s just that guy.
Notes: This was written for mihka_mc who prompted me with Jensen keeps making fun of Jared cause, when he write to people he loves (family, him, friends), he put a heart instead of a point on the i and j in his name or words.
Two days before Valentine’s Day and Jensen feels more than just a little morose. He’s not down or anything, it’s more being annoyed at all the ads and people telling him how awesome this day is.
He’s never believed in it anyway.
None of his girlfriends ever cared. Not even Danneel, when they were engaged, cared much about it. He brought her flowers through the year, was attentive on more days than just this one and she never complained or hinted that she minded that he ignored Valentine's Day.
Jensen thinks it’s a stupid day and he would appreciate it very much if people on and off set would stop trying to tell him otherwise. Of course, Jared is all for it, carrying chocolates and cards around for those who won’t be on set that day. Jared even writes to family and exes. He’s just that guy.
So Jared has been trying to get Jensen out of his funk for a week now and Jensen is this close to finally either giving in or bashing Jared’s head in. Okay, he knows it will be the first of the two but still, after seven years, Jared still manages to rile Jensen up and sometimes not in a good way.
Jensen stomps through the drizzle that has been coming down for days and just wants to hide away in his trailer - for once praying that Jared has the decency to know not to take up too much of Jensen’s space.
The hope is futile since Jensen knows Jared never spends time in his own trailer anymore. Not since the thing with Gen went spectacularly down the drain and Jared, in a rare show of anger and desperation, redecorated it from the bottom to the top. Jared hates it with a vengeance but refuses to do anything about it.
There’s only one trailer now, the only one in use anyway, has been for a few months. It never even crossed Jensen’s mind to demand that Jared got his things back in order. He doesn’t think about it, not too much anyway. Danneel only laughed him in the face when he told her about the trailer. Now, the tiny voice that tells him to man up already and take the final step, sounds suspiciously like Danneel. That tiny voice that manages to worm it's way through Jensen's walls. Walls that should be impenetrable and sturdy, like Sam's were supposed to be.
That worked out so well after all.
Sometimes, Jensen thinks he’s referring way too much to Supernatural’s imagery when it comes to trying to define his own confusing thoughts. That his hallucination comes in the form of his ex-fiancé instead of Lucifer is just his version of hell. And he actually still really loves Danneel. Just not the way she deserved.
The second Jensen pushes through the door, in a haste to get out of the cold and the rather icy rain, he groans. For a second he thinks he took the wrong door, stepped into the wrong trailer. He’s about to step back out again but then he sees Jared sitting cross-legged on the couch, pen stuck between lips, brow furrowed and untamed hair falling into his eyes.
“Dude! Seriously?” is all Jensen manages to say before Sadie demands attention and almost knocks him off his feet in her enthusiasm. She’s been a little more clingy ever since her best buddy left her alone. Jensen’s only too willing to indulge, he loves her and he misses him, too.
Icky just blinks at him from behind a mass of white and pink silk bands that somehow ended up wound around the bathroom door knob. Jensen’s afraid to look up and see what’s attached to the other end of them. Oscar is nowhere to be found.
Seeing the way his one place of relaxation on set has turned into a nightmare of pink, Jensen wishes he could follow Oscar’s example and just vanish. He’s so not in the mood to deal with Jared’s stupid attempts to get Jensen to like Valentine’s Day.
“Oh hey… Hi, Jensen. I.. uh… sorry, thought I’d be done by now. I’ll be out of your way in a minute,” Jared sounds flustered and embarrassed, a little sad as well. Jensen blinks and just like that his annoyance takes a huge step back and his concern for Jared pushes forward.
“No rush, man. Just surprised me, ‘s all. Pink’s not really my color.” Jensen tries to smile, feels it’s a little strained but almost sighs in relief when Jared grins. Where this sudden tension between them is coming from is a little beyond Jensen right now.
He’s exhausted, has been thrown against walls and tables and doors for the good part of the last three hours and he just wants to take a break right now. Maybe nap and cuddle with the dogs. Not that he cuddles - the dogs do though, and Jensen isn’t grumpy enough to not let them.
“What’s all this anyway?” Because yes, Jensen wants to know.
“Oh, just for some of the crew. Remember the bet we had going with Kim? About how many of us would get married during the run of the show? I promised to hand a balloon and chocolates over to every married couple on Valentine’s if we should make it to year seven.”
And yes, Jensen remembers, feels a twang of loss in his chest and when he looks at Jared he knows that he’s not the only one. It’s not only about Kim, it’s about their failed attempts at married life as well. But mostly, it’s about Kim.
Jensen smiles then, flops down on the couch right next to Jared, steals a chocolate heart and just lets himself sink back into the cushions.
“Go ahead then, don’t let me stop you. Don’t mind if I take a nap, do ya?”
Jared doesn’t say anything but goes back to writing the cards that lay scattered on the small table in front of the couch. Jensen feels himself relax, sinking deeper into the couch and tilting towards the warmth of Jared’s body.
Last thing he registers is Jared dotting the i’s and j’s on the card with little hearts. He snorts, wants to say something, mock Jared mercilessly but is asleep before he can.
***
He gets his chance the next day, when he finds Jared writing even more cards. Jensen’s already giving up asking for whom those are, because Jared never answers anyway.
It’s one of the rare day’s off. Rainy and cold, really inviting Jensen to be lazing around, doing nothing but read, flipping through the channels and watching Jared preparing everything for the Day of Love, as he likes to call it.
How Jensen ended up living at Jared’s place again is a story he never knows how to tell, mostly because he has no idea how it really happened. Both broken up over missed chances, failed relationships and not really willing to be alone all over again.
It had worked before, agreeing that it will work again had been way too easy.
“What’s with the hearts, Jay?”
Jensen doesn’t know why he asks now, was just in the middle of finally finishing a book he’s wanted to read for months, then looked up and saw Jared biting his lip while scribbling away on a purple heart shaped card.
“Huh?” Jared doesn’t even look up, reaches down to scratch Sadie’s head when he (she) lifts it from his thigh. Other than the muttered question, Jared doesn’t react. The smile flitting over his own lips is unexpected, like he has no control over it and Jensen has to look away from Jared for a second.
His heart skips a beat, unexpected as well, and Jensen frowns. It’s not the first time, far from it, but lately Jensen has a hard time ignoring it, like he has done almost from the beginning. He rubs his suddenly sweaty palm over his thigh, pushes his glasses up his nose and cranes his neck again to look at Jared over the back of the couch.
“The hearts on your i’s and j’s?” Jensen says softly, hopes for a split second Jared hasn’t heard him because it’s suddenly embarrassing to even have said those words. This time Jared looks up, smiles a little and then looks back down on the cards.
“It’s kinda like a joke. When Jeff was ten he didn’t get a single Valentines at school. He was so sad and I sat down and wrote him one. Tried to hide that it was from me by dotting the i‘s and j’s with hearts. You know, like the girls used to do.” Jared has stopped writing and is now looking directly at Jensen.
“Only, he knew my handwriting pretty well. Hit me over the head with the card and chased me through the house. I ended up crying into my momma’s neck while she admonished him for over an hour.” Jared laughs then, shakes his head and grins a little embarrassed.
Just this, the way Jared looks this moment, innocent, young and so very adorable, has Jensen swallowing hard. The smile that’s fully on his own lips should be hurting by now it’s so wide.
“He came to me room later, hugged me and said thank you. We never talked about it. But ever since then it’s kind of an inside joke. Have been doing the hearts on Valentine cards. You know, but only for people I love. Everyone else gets ordinary dots.”
Jensen laughs out loud then, can’t keep it inside anymore and shakes his head. Jared’s amazing and sometimes Jensen doesn’t even know how to deal with it.
“Next time you call me a girl or Jenny, I’ll hold that over your head.”
Jared’s rumble of a laugh echoes through the room and Jensen has to look away again, pretends to go back to reading his book and fruitlessly tries to get rid of the idiotic grin still plastered to his face.
***
Valentine’s Day sees Jensen hiding around set even more than usual when he wants to have a quiet moment. Everyone’s way too cheery and happy. The thing is, Jensen doesn’t really mind and it scares him a little.
But this day started strange already and Jensen isn't prepared for all the surprises that seem to find him every five minutes. First it had been a heart shaped box of candy on the seat next to him in the car. Clif had just shrugged, looked as blank as always and hadn’t said a word. Yeah, as if he would do something like that.
Then it had been his meticulously cleaned up trailer. No traces of pink ribbons or card glitter or chocolate wrappers to be found. Just a single rose with a little chocolate heart attached to it. Jensen had been ready to shout for Jared only to realize how ridiculous he would look, freaked out by a clean trailer and a rose. He wasn’t that freaked out after all.
Only, he was, just a little. And still is, because the surprises keep coming and Jensen doubts they’ll end any time soon. The day will be long and he’s far from being able to go home and hide in his room.
There’s an orange card attached to his director’s chair when he reaches their current filming location. Jared’s nowhere to be found but then Jared’s not due to shoot until after Jensen’s done with his scene. The disappointment that Jared’s not there to watch him has Jensen frown and snort at himself.
He’s getting pathetic in his old days as it seems. Even more so than he already was.
The card has a printed, ridiculously sweet and sappy poem in it. But it isn’t signed. Jensen laughs at it, pretends not to be too creeped out by it and tugs it away in one of the pockets of Dean's jacket.
The cards keep coming. Poems Jensen wouldn’t even dare to read out loud to the dogs. The make him sputter, blush, laugh out loud and groan in embarrassment throughout the day. They also make Jared guffaw, head thrown back and eyes sparkling in delight. This alone is worth any kind of embarrassment Jensen has to suffer through. It’s been a while since he’s seen Jared this carefree.
They joke about who could be the secret admirer. Jensen tries hard not to suspect Jared because if he’s wrong the disappointment won’t be worth it. He enjoys Jared’s mood, loves the way they keep on mocking each other over the Valentine’s they do get from crew members and Jared manages to keep Jensen from hiding too much at the end of the day.
***
Jensen knows something is wrong the second he sets foot inside the house. It’s too quiet. No dogs come running and Jensen’s still standing instead of being sprawled on the floor being decked in doggy kisses.
It’s such a vast difference from any day he’s come home during the last few months that he just stands there for a minute, confused and unable to properly react.
It’s the only explanation for why it takes him so long to see the purple, heart shaped card attached to the hallway mirror. He carefully detaches it, flips it open and stares for a second. The he laughs out loud.
There’s a stupid, sappy poem on one side and it’s just as horrid as the ones he’s been getting during the day. The little hope that it might have been Jared flares up again, pushes the disappointment that Jared had only giving him a fun card with not heart dotted letters and that refused to let up all day into the background.
The other side of the card reads: Will you be my Valentine? Jared hearts dotting the i’s and j’s.
“Only for people I love,” Jared whispers against his ear. Jensen shivers, leans against the broad, warm chest behind him and lets himself feel, just for a minute. Then he turns so that he can see Jared. If they are doing this, he wants to see him.
“Jared…”
“Answer the questions first,” Jared interrupts him, hands on either side of Jensen’s hips, eyes bright, curious and waiting. “Please, Jensen.”
There’s not even a moment of hesitation then.
“Yes. I’ll be your Valentine. Even if I hate the whole damn day.”
The laughter bubbles out of Jared, freely and uninhibited, like it did all day. Jensen joins him, leans closer and stops wondering what the hell they are doing there and then. He’s not in the mood to question it all anyway.
And if he’s honest with himself, he has to admit that they might have been heading this way for a while now. Only, Jensen is good at denial and he’s pretty sure Jared’s just as much an expert with it.
The kiss isn’t unexpected but it has Jensen’s mind reeling nonetheless.
***
The room’s dark, warm and feels like the only place Jensen wants to spent his life in. Strong arms are wrapped around his body, holding him close and he never thought that this would be something he wanted, needed even.
Nothing really happened. Kisses, looks that told so much and settled that clenched feeling his stomach. Touches, soft and sure, sliding over skin, making his heart skip and calm down at the same time. Low words that fit, that were right and told a truth he never knew he wanted to know.
Jensen sighs then, blinks against the darkness and tries to look at the body lying cuddle up next to him. It’s harder then he thought it would be but he smiles nonetheless at the open mouth and tousled hair he can make out.
“It’s okay, Jensen,” is mumbled against his cheek a few minutes later. The low, soft, sleep rough voice doesn’t startle him as much as make him wonder when he’d gotten so attuned to Jared that he knew when the other man woke up.
“Is it?”
Jared’s the one to sigh then, pulling Jensen closer, settling them in an embrace Jensen would have never thought possible with their 6ft plus infinite inches frames. It feels safer, more natural than it should.
“Told ya, I was gonna tell you the truth eventually. ‘s why Gen left. As bad as it got, and as bad as I felt about it all. I couldn’t not try and tell you. This day was just so perfect for it even though I thought you might kill me for choosing it.”
“Was close to. Those cards were seriously creepy, Jay,” it’s said with amusement shining through and Jensen feels proud of himself that he manages to sound way less freaked out than he’d actually been.
“Your face every time was awesome though.” And of course Jared would take delight in it all. Creeper that he can be. For some reason, Jensen isn’t even mad at him for that.
“You thought you wouldn’t get heart dots, did ya?” And Jared knows him way too well. “Aww, Jen.” There’s a kiss on his cheek and Jared’s definitely trying to squeeze the life out of him just then but all Jensen can do is laugh.
“There’s a reason why I let you see, why I told you this story,” is whispered against his ear then.
“Your subtle way of telling me?”
“Hoped it wouldn’t be subtle but very straightforward. I know it’s too soon, just wanted you to know anyway.”
Jensen doesn’t say anything to that, knows Jared’s right, knows there’s so much to talk about, to clear between them. It’s not the right moment though.
It’s not all said and done. Far from it. But Jensen shifts, turns in Jared’s embrace so that he can touch Jared’s hip. Then he lets his fingertip slide over skin, slow and smooth, drawing out words Jensen’s sure Jared recognizes.
Jared’s breath hitches, Jensen feels it against his chest and smiles, draws the letters carefully all over again.
My Valentine. Jensen.
“Heart dots?”
“Heart dots,” Jensen says and pulls Jared into a slow, soft kiss.
Valentine’s Day has been over for hours and Jensen survived. He still hates it, still thinks it’s a stupid day. But he loves the fact that Jared used this day to say something very important, something Jensen didn’t know he needed to hear.
He writes his name on Jared’s skin a hundred times that night. Every time the j is dotted with a heart, every time Jared kisses him more fiercely.
The End