Nano Shots 2011 "And if life is your stage I'll be watching" Part 3
Part 3: I know you liked no one else does
The beauty of the Dartmouth campus overwhelms them both. Jared has never really been outside Texas and he thought Jensen wouldn’t be as affected but he’d been wrong.
Jensen stood there just as open-mouthed as Jared, just as in awe. It’s still kind of unbelievable that they both got in, that they even managed to snag a room together and will be starting here in fall.
Right now they are just tourist, taking the chance of getting to know their new home. Their parents gifted them with the money for a road trip for graduation and Jared still doesn’t know how they could keep it hidden form Jensen and him until the very last moment.
Said moment turning into some kind of coming out party with the friends had been unplanned though. But there really was no way Jared and Jensen could hide anymore when Donna and Sherrie talked about them being the most adorable couple in front of their friends.
Jared still grins at the faces everyone pulled. They really have been pretty obvious as it seems, so them being together hadn’t been that much of a surprise. People were only a little miffed that no one told them. Jared still tries to figure out how their mothers told their fathers. But then he’s just happy that their dad’s where just as cool with them being together.
“This is beautiful,” Jensen says, still a little wide-eyed at the nature and landscape New Hampshire is presenting them with. It’s all green and lush and red bricks in between.
“Yes. I really am. Can’t believe we’ll be living here. Glad we decided for the coast instead of the Texan heartland?”
“Honestly? It makes coming home during the breaks so much better,” Jensen grins and leans against Jared’s side where they are sitting on a low brig wall overlooking one part of the campus.
“Man, that is so true. And really, there something about being sure that our moms can’t just drive up and bother us. Austin is a little too close to home.” Though Jared wouldn’t really mind his momma showing up from time to time. His thoughts must show on his face because Jensen leans in and kisses him.
“Sap.”
Jared nods, because there’s nothing he can say to that. It’s true after all. So he kisses Jensen again and then leans back to take in some more of the beauty around them.
Jared feels alive under Jensen’s hands.
Groans against the lips seeking his out. He clings to the shoulders above him, moans and moves, thrusts his hips up and sighs when Jensen’s meets him at just the right angle.
It’s not their first time but it still feels like it. Exciting and new, so much to discover and learn. Jared loves it. Loves that they can let go like that and not think about parents being nosy or interrupting.
They are adults now. Living their own lives in a state that looks benevolently upon them and their kind. Jared loves everything about his life right now.
Jensen’s lips on his skin, Jensen’s hands on his hips. It feels so good to be alive, to have Jensen there with him. It feels right and Jared knows Jensen is the one. He hasn’t told him that, hasn’t said a word and sometimes feels like he’s rushing things.
It’s college after all. Freshman year even. They are supposed to experiment, try things out. But then Jared sees how Jensen looks at him, how he smiles wide and happy when Jared calls him his boyfriend.
But he hasn’t said those important words yet.
Jared moans louder this time when Jensen moves down his body, kissing, licking, and biting. He loves this side of Jensen, loves it when Jensen lets go. They barely have time to get together these days, busy with classes, new friends and jobs. But when they do things seem to explode every single time.
Lips on his cock and Jared bucks up, clenches his eyes shut and wills his body to relax again. He doesn’t want to come, not yet. He wants to feel Jensen inside of him first. It’s still so new that Jared needs preparation and Jensen loves giving that to him.
Jensen loves giving blow jobs. But not today. Today Jared wants something else and he tells Jensen as much.
“Okay…. Okay, I got ya, Jay. I got ya,” Jensen mumbles against his lips, lets his hands wander and slips one finger inside when Jared’s distracted by hot lips on his skin and a hard cock against his thigh.
It’s not frantic anymore, like the first few times all weeks ago, when they had to listen to the other freshmen run around in the hallways and feared someone could hear them. Not as frantic because now they know how to savor, how to appreciate, how to manipulate to make it last longer.
Jared groans, not caring if anyone hears him. It doesn’t matter anyway. They are out and proud around here and no one has said a single word.
“Fuck, Jen,” he shouts when Jensen finds the place his finger has been looking for.
“That’s the plan.”
“Do it then.”
And Jensen does, slow and gentle at first. Sliding and driving Jared crazy with it. Every move is calculated and Jared wants Jensen to lose it, to let go, writhes and moans, bucks and draws Jensen down. Until Jensen lets go and slams home.
Then it’s just pure lust. Raw and deep. The way they’ve been since they finally took that step.
Jared loves feeling so alive with Jensen.
“I love you.”
Hope blossoms and then slowly dies away again. Jared’s left confused and angry at himself. After his slip up, Jared had tried to retract only to have Jensen pulling away.
It only confused him at first when Jensen claimed being too busy to hang out and suddenly lived in a totally different kind of world with different people around. Jared felt lost then, abandoned somehow without really knowing why.
Then he’d started to blame himself, knew he shouldn’t have said it, new deep down that he still meant it. But Jensen didn’t seem to want to hear it. So Jared was left with nothing really to go on.
They drifted apart. Slowly but it was happening and at the end of their freshmen year, Jared was sure that things were over. They barely talked anymore, Jensen always gone and Jared becoming a reclusive just to spite him. But it seemed like Jensen didn’t seem to care and Jared had no idea why.
There weren’t any words about what happened. Never any words. And in the end Jared went back to Texas and didn’t see or talk to Jensen all summer. He was busy with internships and working, was busy visiting his brother and trying not to think about this failed relationship.
He was busy trying to explain it all to himself but never came up with anything reasonable. Neither did his mom or Donna. Jensen never came home that summer.
When Jared steps back onto campus and thinks that things might work out when he only has a chance to talk to Jensen, hope flares up again. Only to die a quick death when Jared meets his new roommate.
That day Jared decides on a major and never looks back.
Kindness is something Jared never expects and then finds it in the most uncommon places from the most unexpected person.
Jared sees Jensen on campus sometimes but they never really meet. Jared thinks Jensen makes sure if it and calls him a coward a hundred times. But after two years Jared’s tired of being the one trying to make things right.
He secretly thinks he’s not the only one having let it get this far. He’s got new friends now, even some old ones who are still talking to both of them but know not to talk about the other one.
His roommate’s great and they get along. Jared never feels silly living on campus still even though he’s a senior now. His live is good and he feels okay. Not really happy, never that because there’s something missing, something that feels suspiciously close to closure and Jared’s afraid to seek that out.
It’s his last year and he can’t believe that he’s managed it this far. There’s still a lot of school ahead of him but he’s on a good way. When he told his parents that he wanted to become a doctor, there had been tears and proud words, hugs even. And Jared has never regretted his decision.
Until now.
He doesn’t know how he never realized it, probably because he’s been too busy pinning and feeling pity for himself. But how Jensen could actually major in genetic biology without Jared knowing is a miracle. Mostly because he tried to secretly keep taps on Jensen, despite everything.
So now they are sitting there, in the hallway of a very renowned hospital waiting to be called in for an internship interview. Jared wants to say a hearty Fuck You in Fates direction.
Jensen looks as shocked as Jared feels. Jared wants this internship and he really needs it, too. It sucks. Because he knows that Jensen can talk better, knows that Jensen is brilliant and he also knows that he might not have the slightest chance at all.
The thing that hurts though is that they don’t say single word to each other.
Until Jensen does and it surprises Jared so much that he never even thinks of saying something back.
“You deserve this, Jay. You are awesome. I saw all your test results. Good luck. I’m sorry.” And then Jensen gets up and is gone before Jared can take a breath or even let the words sink in. This kind of kindness from Jensen is so unexpected that Jared flounders through the interview and is doubly surprised when he gets the internship in the end.
He doesn’t see Jensen for five years.
Relaxing isn’t something Jared has experienced for some time now, years maybe. So when his boss tells him that he needs to learn how to relax again Jared’s torn between laughing and scowling.
He’s an assistant pediatric surgeon; he has no time to relax when there are children to save. He hasn’t really had time relax since writing his thesis. And that’s been a while.
A week after that embarrassing conversation Jared’s on a flight home. He’s got two weeks off and no idea what to do with his time. There’s no one in his Chicago apartment to entertain him. There hasn’t been someone in years. His momma has been badgering to come home for months and it’s summer now anyway.
So Jared had packed his backs, given his neighbor his keys and took off. Coming home is strange after being absent for so long. But Sadie’s still there and Chad, too. Sophia is back again and Katie is visiting. So he has friends to talk to and convince him that relaxing isn’t such a bad idea.
Only, when he doesn’t work, doesn’t need to think about surgeries and treatments, Jared finds himself thinking about his life and how things went way different from what he’d planned or expected.
Chris and Steve come through at the end of his first week, on tour through the country and actually being successful with their kind of music. Jared’s proud of them and actually balks a little when Chris just hugs him close the second they step into the bar.
“Sorry, man. Jensen can be such an ass.”
That’s all what’s being said about that topic and Jared loves his friends a lot more.
They get him drunk several times, get him to finally relax at the pool and realize how much he’s actually missed it. By the time he has to get back to Chicago again Jared’s made promises not to stay away that long again and has several email addresses and phone numbers programmed into his cell.
Jared’s also making plans to look into vacant positions in Texas. He misses home. He misses people he can actually talk to and who have nothing to do with his work.
Jared decides he wants to come home and to finally get over the misdirected notion that he was only staying anyway due to work and not his fear of running into Jensen. Jensen hasn’t been home longer than even Jared managed and L.A. isn’t as far away as Chicago.
Jared decides not to let Jensen or thoughts of Jensen rule his life anymore.
“Let’s have some fun,” Chad says, a week after Jared moved back to Texas. Jared’s still busy settling into his new apartment in the city center of San Antonio and has other things to do then babysit Chad in one of his drinking binges.
“I don’t have time, Chad. I need to get things done before I start on Monday.” It’s really only half the truth but Jared isn’t in the mood for discussions. He goes back to rearranging boxes so that he can finally unpack them.
“Man, you are boring.”
“I grew up.”
“That’s no reason to not have fun.” Chad looks like he wants to say more but then thinks better of it. Jared’s glad about it. He’s not in the mood for any kind of discussion and he knows that with Chad it can only go into one direction. But his love life is out of question.
“Okay. But can I help with the unpacking? Sophia’s not in town and I feel a little lonely,” Chad admits, sounding serious and Jared stops to look at him.
“Everything alright between you two?”
“Yeah. She’s just busy with her awesome career and I’m still stuck working for my dad. It’s just a little frustrating lately. But not her fault. It’s me.” Chad sighs and Jared tries to remember when Chad ever thought about having a good career before all his thoughts had been occupied with how to get Sophia.
“Well, then do something about it. It’s not too late, man. You are young, do something you like or at least try it. Have fun at your work. It’s said to be awesome,” Jared smiles and thinks he actually should try to follow his own advice. He will at his new job. Less work, more social life is his new motto.
“Maybe you are right.” It’s all Chad says but it’s enough to show Jared that he means it.
“Let’s have some fun,” Jared grins and upends a box full of kitchen utensils on the floor. He laughs when Chad groans and feels home for the first time in years.
Part 4
The beauty of the Dartmouth campus overwhelms them both. Jared has never really been outside Texas and he thought Jensen wouldn’t be as affected but he’d been wrong.
Jensen stood there just as open-mouthed as Jared, just as in awe. It’s still kind of unbelievable that they both got in, that they even managed to snag a room together and will be starting here in fall.
Right now they are just tourist, taking the chance of getting to know their new home. Their parents gifted them with the money for a road trip for graduation and Jared still doesn’t know how they could keep it hidden form Jensen and him until the very last moment.
Said moment turning into some kind of coming out party with the friends had been unplanned though. But there really was no way Jared and Jensen could hide anymore when Donna and Sherrie talked about them being the most adorable couple in front of their friends.
Jared still grins at the faces everyone pulled. They really have been pretty obvious as it seems, so them being together hadn’t been that much of a surprise. People were only a little miffed that no one told them. Jared still tries to figure out how their mothers told their fathers. But then he’s just happy that their dad’s where just as cool with them being together.
“This is beautiful,” Jensen says, still a little wide-eyed at the nature and landscape New Hampshire is presenting them with. It’s all green and lush and red bricks in between.
“Yes. I really am. Can’t believe we’ll be living here. Glad we decided for the coast instead of the Texan heartland?”
“Honestly? It makes coming home during the breaks so much better,” Jensen grins and leans against Jared’s side where they are sitting on a low brig wall overlooking one part of the campus.
“Man, that is so true. And really, there something about being sure that our moms can’t just drive up and bother us. Austin is a little too close to home.” Though Jared wouldn’t really mind his momma showing up from time to time. His thoughts must show on his face because Jensen leans in and kisses him.
“Sap.”
Jared nods, because there’s nothing he can say to that. It’s true after all. So he kisses Jensen again and then leans back to take in some more of the beauty around them.
Jared feels alive under Jensen’s hands.
Groans against the lips seeking his out. He clings to the shoulders above him, moans and moves, thrusts his hips up and sighs when Jensen’s meets him at just the right angle.
It’s not their first time but it still feels like it. Exciting and new, so much to discover and learn. Jared loves it. Loves that they can let go like that and not think about parents being nosy or interrupting.
They are adults now. Living their own lives in a state that looks benevolently upon them and their kind. Jared loves everything about his life right now.
Jensen’s lips on his skin, Jensen’s hands on his hips. It feels so good to be alive, to have Jensen there with him. It feels right and Jared knows Jensen is the one. He hasn’t told him that, hasn’t said a word and sometimes feels like he’s rushing things.
It’s college after all. Freshman year even. They are supposed to experiment, try things out. But then Jared sees how Jensen looks at him, how he smiles wide and happy when Jared calls him his boyfriend.
But he hasn’t said those important words yet.
Jared moans louder this time when Jensen moves down his body, kissing, licking, and biting. He loves this side of Jensen, loves it when Jensen lets go. They barely have time to get together these days, busy with classes, new friends and jobs. But when they do things seem to explode every single time.
Lips on his cock and Jared bucks up, clenches his eyes shut and wills his body to relax again. He doesn’t want to come, not yet. He wants to feel Jensen inside of him first. It’s still so new that Jared needs preparation and Jensen loves giving that to him.
Jensen loves giving blow jobs. But not today. Today Jared wants something else and he tells Jensen as much.
“Okay…. Okay, I got ya, Jay. I got ya,” Jensen mumbles against his lips, lets his hands wander and slips one finger inside when Jared’s distracted by hot lips on his skin and a hard cock against his thigh.
It’s not frantic anymore, like the first few times all weeks ago, when they had to listen to the other freshmen run around in the hallways and feared someone could hear them. Not as frantic because now they know how to savor, how to appreciate, how to manipulate to make it last longer.
Jared groans, not caring if anyone hears him. It doesn’t matter anyway. They are out and proud around here and no one has said a single word.
“Fuck, Jen,” he shouts when Jensen finds the place his finger has been looking for.
“That’s the plan.”
“Do it then.”
And Jensen does, slow and gentle at first. Sliding and driving Jared crazy with it. Every move is calculated and Jared wants Jensen to lose it, to let go, writhes and moans, bucks and draws Jensen down. Until Jensen lets go and slams home.
Then it’s just pure lust. Raw and deep. The way they’ve been since they finally took that step.
Jared loves feeling so alive with Jensen.
“I love you.”
Hope blossoms and then slowly dies away again. Jared’s left confused and angry at himself. After his slip up, Jared had tried to retract only to have Jensen pulling away.
It only confused him at first when Jensen claimed being too busy to hang out and suddenly lived in a totally different kind of world with different people around. Jared felt lost then, abandoned somehow without really knowing why.
Then he’d started to blame himself, knew he shouldn’t have said it, new deep down that he still meant it. But Jensen didn’t seem to want to hear it. So Jared was left with nothing really to go on.
They drifted apart. Slowly but it was happening and at the end of their freshmen year, Jared was sure that things were over. They barely talked anymore, Jensen always gone and Jared becoming a reclusive just to spite him. But it seemed like Jensen didn’t seem to care and Jared had no idea why.
There weren’t any words about what happened. Never any words. And in the end Jared went back to Texas and didn’t see or talk to Jensen all summer. He was busy with internships and working, was busy visiting his brother and trying not to think about this failed relationship.
He was busy trying to explain it all to himself but never came up with anything reasonable. Neither did his mom or Donna. Jensen never came home that summer.
When Jared steps back onto campus and thinks that things might work out when he only has a chance to talk to Jensen, hope flares up again. Only to die a quick death when Jared meets his new roommate.
That day Jared decides on a major and never looks back.
Kindness is something Jared never expects and then finds it in the most uncommon places from the most unexpected person.
Jared sees Jensen on campus sometimes but they never really meet. Jared thinks Jensen makes sure if it and calls him a coward a hundred times. But after two years Jared’s tired of being the one trying to make things right.
He secretly thinks he’s not the only one having let it get this far. He’s got new friends now, even some old ones who are still talking to both of them but know not to talk about the other one.
His roommate’s great and they get along. Jared never feels silly living on campus still even though he’s a senior now. His live is good and he feels okay. Not really happy, never that because there’s something missing, something that feels suspiciously close to closure and Jared’s afraid to seek that out.
It’s his last year and he can’t believe that he’s managed it this far. There’s still a lot of school ahead of him but he’s on a good way. When he told his parents that he wanted to become a doctor, there had been tears and proud words, hugs even. And Jared has never regretted his decision.
Until now.
He doesn’t know how he never realized it, probably because he’s been too busy pinning and feeling pity for himself. But how Jensen could actually major in genetic biology without Jared knowing is a miracle. Mostly because he tried to secretly keep taps on Jensen, despite everything.
So now they are sitting there, in the hallway of a very renowned hospital waiting to be called in for an internship interview. Jared wants to say a hearty Fuck You in Fates direction.
Jensen looks as shocked as Jared feels. Jared wants this internship and he really needs it, too. It sucks. Because he knows that Jensen can talk better, knows that Jensen is brilliant and he also knows that he might not have the slightest chance at all.
The thing that hurts though is that they don’t say single word to each other.
Until Jensen does and it surprises Jared so much that he never even thinks of saying something back.
“You deserve this, Jay. You are awesome. I saw all your test results. Good luck. I’m sorry.” And then Jensen gets up and is gone before Jared can take a breath or even let the words sink in. This kind of kindness from Jensen is so unexpected that Jared flounders through the interview and is doubly surprised when he gets the internship in the end.
He doesn’t see Jensen for five years.
Relaxing isn’t something Jared has experienced for some time now, years maybe. So when his boss tells him that he needs to learn how to relax again Jared’s torn between laughing and scowling.
He’s an assistant pediatric surgeon; he has no time to relax when there are children to save. He hasn’t really had time relax since writing his thesis. And that’s been a while.
A week after that embarrassing conversation Jared’s on a flight home. He’s got two weeks off and no idea what to do with his time. There’s no one in his Chicago apartment to entertain him. There hasn’t been someone in years. His momma has been badgering to come home for months and it’s summer now anyway.
So Jared had packed his backs, given his neighbor his keys and took off. Coming home is strange after being absent for so long. But Sadie’s still there and Chad, too. Sophia is back again and Katie is visiting. So he has friends to talk to and convince him that relaxing isn’t such a bad idea.
Only, when he doesn’t work, doesn’t need to think about surgeries and treatments, Jared finds himself thinking about his life and how things went way different from what he’d planned or expected.
Chris and Steve come through at the end of his first week, on tour through the country and actually being successful with their kind of music. Jared’s proud of them and actually balks a little when Chris just hugs him close the second they step into the bar.
“Sorry, man. Jensen can be such an ass.”
That’s all what’s being said about that topic and Jared loves his friends a lot more.
They get him drunk several times, get him to finally relax at the pool and realize how much he’s actually missed it. By the time he has to get back to Chicago again Jared’s made promises not to stay away that long again and has several email addresses and phone numbers programmed into his cell.
Jared’s also making plans to look into vacant positions in Texas. He misses home. He misses people he can actually talk to and who have nothing to do with his work.
Jared decides he wants to come home and to finally get over the misdirected notion that he was only staying anyway due to work and not his fear of running into Jensen. Jensen hasn’t been home longer than even Jared managed and L.A. isn’t as far away as Chicago.
Jared decides not to let Jensen or thoughts of Jensen rule his life anymore.
“Let’s have some fun,” Chad says, a week after Jared moved back to Texas. Jared’s still busy settling into his new apartment in the city center of San Antonio and has other things to do then babysit Chad in one of his drinking binges.
“I don’t have time, Chad. I need to get things done before I start on Monday.” It’s really only half the truth but Jared isn’t in the mood for discussions. He goes back to rearranging boxes so that he can finally unpack them.
“Man, you are boring.”
“I grew up.”
“That’s no reason to not have fun.” Chad looks like he wants to say more but then thinks better of it. Jared’s glad about it. He’s not in the mood for any kind of discussion and he knows that with Chad it can only go into one direction. But his love life is out of question.
“Okay. But can I help with the unpacking? Sophia’s not in town and I feel a little lonely,” Chad admits, sounding serious and Jared stops to look at him.
“Everything alright between you two?”
“Yeah. She’s just busy with her awesome career and I’m still stuck working for my dad. It’s just a little frustrating lately. But not her fault. It’s me.” Chad sighs and Jared tries to remember when Chad ever thought about having a good career before all his thoughts had been occupied with how to get Sophia.
“Well, then do something about it. It’s not too late, man. You are young, do something you like or at least try it. Have fun at your work. It’s said to be awesome,” Jared smiles and thinks he actually should try to follow his own advice. He will at his new job. Less work, more social life is his new motto.
“Maybe you are right.” It’s all Chad says but it’s enough to show Jared that he means it.
“Let’s have some fun,” Jared grins and upends a box full of kitchen utensils on the floor. He laughs when Chad groans and feels home for the first time in years.
Part 4