gift for kain_abel, "I haven’t scratched the surface of my desire", Jared/Jensen, PG-13
Fic title: "I haven’t scratched the surface of my desire (In the world of dreams, I’m a frequent flyer) "
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: RPS, AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7.798
Warnings/Spoilers: none
Beta: Many thanks to smallearthcat for the very fast and awesome beta
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything.
Summary: The house looks like a war zone. And here, he’d thought that it would be over once they all finished college and found decent jobs. He should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. His roommates have stopped growing up since senior year in high school.
Nothing new then.
Notes: This was written for kain_abel for the spn_j2_xmas exchange.
I took the prompt: Jensen (or Jared) only has relationships that last for about 3 months, then breaks it up because he loves the thrill in the beginning but doesn't see a point in a long-lasting relationship. Jared and Jensen have been friends for a long time (maybe even roommates), but when the "serial dater" falls in love with his best friend it's not so easy to convince him that he doesn't just want to date him for 3 months. Lots of UST and reluctance on the best friend's part. (AU please).
I tried to use your likes of UST, schmoop and first time. I'm sorry that there is no porn at all, they just didn't want to. I hope you'll like it anyway and forgive me for the total schmoopiness of this. Happy Holidays. :)
Huge Thanks to elless18 for the brainstorming and throwing ideas back and worth. It really helped a lot.
And thanks to everyone on my flist who commented and encouraged me, you guys know who you are. :)
Title is generously borrowed from Take That's "Happy Now"
Jared stumbles through the door, cursing under his breath when he almost slips on something on the floor. It’s dark in the house but he knows he’s not alone. Switching the hall light on, he blinks several times and sighs when he see the chaos on the floor. He doesn’t even dare to glance at the living room table.
The three bottles of beer in the doorway are enough to indicate that there are many more to be discovered. Jared shuffles forward, drops his bag and keys somewhere less dirty and hopes he’ll be able to find them again the next morning. Blinking at the floor again Jared keeps his shoes on.
The house looks like a war zone. And here, he’d thought that it would be over once they all finished college and found decent jobs. He should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. His roommates have stopped growing up since senior year in high school.
Nothing new then.
The day has been too long already, and Jared’s not really in the mood, nor does he have the energy, to get worked up about the state of the house. He’s just tired, grumpy and fighting a massive headache. Jared just wants his bed.
Only, when he walks down the hallway he almost slips again, this time on something that looks suspiciously like women’s underwear. Jared sighs again. This isn’t anything new either.
There is a trail of clothes leading to Jensen’s room and Jared knows he’ll have to use earplugs again. Now, everything is silent, but that doesn’t mean it’ll stay like this. It’s just barely after one, after all.
Jared briefly wonders if the panties belong to some kind of role-play or if Markus has been replaced by someone distinctively female, then decides he doesn’t want to think about it and that the latter is way more probable. It’s Jensen after all. Jared stopped trying to understand the man long ago - and hoping to have a chance with him. They’ve know each other for 15 years now and never has Jensen even tried to pick Jared up.
And Jared’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have let it happen anyway. Not now. Not with the way Jensen is speeding through hook-ups and semi-serious relationships without showing signs of settling down. Jared’s looking for something strong and long-lasting. And even if Jensen is totally his type and way too gorgeous for this world, it’s not a possibility, not after years of pining and finally getting over it.
Also, it’s really not the time to think about that again.
He sighs again and shuffles to his room, clicks the door shut silently behind him and flops face down onto his bed. He should shower, should change out of his clothes but he can’t bring himself to move.
A second later he’s fast asleep.
***
Jared stumbles out of his room way too early for a weekend and wonders if stumbling is his new way of moving around the house. The clothes in the hallway are gone, for which Jared is grateful; he so isn’t in the mood to either see them or to have to move them out of the way.
The chaos in the living room is still there, though. He won’t touch any of those bottles, glasses or pizza boxes. He won’t. Sadly, he knows his resolution will last until his brain decides to really wake up and start its hate on anything dirty and out of order. He already hates his roommates for speculating on that.
Jensen is in the kitchen, usually something Jared would appreciate because he hates having to eat alone. He likes to talk, after all. But he feels like a caveman this morning, reduced to grunts and hand gestures, neither of which will work since Jensen has his back to Jared and earphones in.
Also, Jensen is in the way, standing between Jared and his much needed coffee. So he moves into the kitchen, prepares to move Jensen away from the cupboard where the coffee is waiting, but stops short when Jensen starts to move his hips.
This is just really unfair.
Jared stares for a minute or two, or maybe even three.
Jensen dancing, singing under his breath, is a sight to behold, and Jared takes it all in. Takes the chance that is presented to him and just watches.
Jensen is an outgoing type most of the time, but when it comes to his musical talents, he's impossibly shy and not open at all. There's a reason he’s the boss of the label and not in any of the bands he has under contract.
Jensen is just wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, same as Jared is sporting right now, hair unruly and spiked like he just dropped out of bed, which he probably did. It’s Saturday after all. It’s all Jared can do not to go over and hug him close to his chest.
And Jared doesn’t really want to do it anyway. He’s over his little infatuation. He really is.
It’s just a flicker of a moment, short and peaceful, but Jared knows he can’t let it go on for any longer. He’s not one to torture himself endlessly with things he can’t have. So he moves again, grabs Jensen by the hips and moves him deftly out of the way. And he only allows himself a small smirk at the squeak Jensen lets loose.
“Fuck, Jay. What the hell?” Jensen sounds too awake for someone who apparently had a very nice party night.
“Coffee,” Jared grunts in reply, and doesn’t mind when Jensen just stares at him.
“Eloquent, Jared.” Jensen moves over to the fridge and starts pulling things out. It takes Jared a bit to realize that Jensen is about to make pancakes. He knows what will come next. He knows his best friend way too well. Oh yeah, that’s another reason why Jared is so over his little crush; Jensen is his best friend, and Jared will never consciously do anything to lose that. He’s mentally preparing himself for Jensen’s request to be gone tonight. Pancakes always mean Jensen wants something from him. Unfortunately, they never mean Jared gets anything he wants in return.
“Fuck you.” Another grunt and Jared is reaching out for the coffee box.
“Naw, man. Can’t. All powered out.” Jared can hear the smirk in the words, rolls his eyes and doesn’t deem them worth an answer.
A second later he feels like crying, and there may be little whimpering sounds coming from him as well.
“Jay?” And Jensen sounds concerned now, all attitude dropped, and there is a hand on Jared’s back as well.
“No coffee.”
“Oh shit. Man, I’m so sorry. I totally forgot. Chris dragged the guys back here yesterday and we ended up going through the new CD. I forgot to go shopping.” Jensen actually sounds upset, but Jared’s not in the mood to comfort him right now. He sighs, something he has been doing a lot lately and shakes his head.
Jared’s about to shuffle back into his room to get dressed and then do the grocery shopping that was supposed to be done yesterday, but then Jensen is there, blocking his way. Green eyes try to catch his, and Jared lets it happen for a second.
“Jen…”
“I’m sorry, Jared. Really. Let me do the shopping now, okay? You look like you could use a little more sleep. When did you get home anyway?”
“Around one, I think. Dunno. Party was over already.” Jared shifts because suddenly, Jensen is too close. He knows the look on his best friend’s face and he really, really isn’t in the mood to go over that topic once again. They have agreed to disagree several thousand times already, and it’s his day off and he’s still freaking tired. He hopes Jensen will grant him the favor and not start again.
Of course, Jensen won’t.
“He’s using you, Jay.”
“Can we… can we not do that right now? I just want coffee and my bed and just…not thinking about work or life or anything.”
The last few weeks have just been…not great, and this is his first weekend off. Sometimes Jared wonders why he wanted to be a lawyer in the first place. He loves his job, usually. He still would, if it wasn’t for his new boss.
“Okay. Just…go to bed. There’ll be coffee when you wake up again. I promise.”
There is something in Jensen’s look that Jared can’t identify. It hasn’t been there before, and it’s gone as soon a Jensen realizes that Jared’s watching him.
Jensen has been a little weird lately anyway. Ever since Jared caught him watching old high school videos of them and mocking Jensen’s far away gaze. Sometimes it’s like Jensen is thinking about something, is caught in another world and has to shake himself to come back to the present.
Jared has found him numerous times zoned out with a glazed over look and some kind of fear hidden behind it when Jensen realized it was Jared catching him so out of it again.
One day, when Jared isn’t tired as hell, creeped out by his very inappropriate boss or very annoyed with his roommates, Jared will sit Jensen down and ask what’s up. They haven’t had one on one time in quite a while, and Jared misses it.
“Yeah…yeah…just…tell Chris to clean his stuff up. I’m not his fucking maid.”
Jensen laughs, moves a little so that Jared can pass and pats him on the back. Jared doesn’t flinch, is proud of himself that he doesn’t react at all and smiles at Jensen for a second. He is too tired to interpret anything in the look he gets back.
“Oh, Jen?”
“Hmm?” Jensen is busy re-stocking the dishwasher. Jared doesn’t smile at the sight but feels something in his chest squeeze tight. Jensen hates touching anything close to the dishwasher, hates it with a passion. So this is just nice to see. Usually it’s Jared’s job.
“Please tell me that the panties that almost caused me to break a leg last night aren’t Markus’ way of trying new things.”
It gets a snort out of Jensen, and Jared is momentarily stunned by the slight flush on freckled cheeks. It’s a rare thing for Jensen to be embarrassed about his sex life. Really rare.
“Uhm…no. Name was Celia.” Jensen isn’t looking at him, and Jared has a hard time judging from just his hunched shoulders if he can ask more or if he should let it drop.
“Yeah?”
“Markus isn’t in the picture anymore. Hasn’t been for a while. Just…you know…it’s been 12 weeks,” Jensen almost mumbles.
And that’s just so Jensen.
The man can’t seem to have a relationship that lasts longer than three months. His excuse is that he gets bored and that usually his partners get bored as well; if it’s really like that…well, Jared doesn’t know. He gave up getting to know Jensen’s ‘partners’ during their first year in college. It just got too much to remember and a little too confusing with Jensen’s changing lovers about every three or four months, so Jared just stopped trying.
He’s not judging, would never dare to, but Jensen is his best friend, and but sometimes Jared thinks that in the long run Jensen won’t be happy if he goes on like this.
“Well, that’s at least longer than Lisa or Brian. You're increasing the time frame.”
Jensen is ducking his head even more now, and Jared’s a little confused.
“Uh, yeah. Building up to something, I guess. Go to bed, Jared. You really look like you need it.”
Jared stares for a while. Usually Jensen likes to brag about his conquests, likes to tell every detail, even if no one wants to hear them. Now though, he uses one of Jared’s tactics to change the topic. Jared’s really tired and just takes the chance and runs with it.
“’kay. Coffee. Don’t forget the coffee.”
Jensen laughs, a little stilted, but freely. “Sure, Jay. I won’t.”
***
There had been coffee when Jared finally fell out of bed again. There had even been food and a clean living room. There had also been no Jensen around. And it had stayed like that for the next few days.
Jared’s spent his weekend off mainly on bed. Sleeping and reading and not caring about the state of his room or the house. He heard Chris and Steve arguing, heard them making up again as well. He heard Jensen clean the rest of the chaos away and smiled into his pillow at Jensen’s commands that sent Chris, and even Steve, scuttling through the house.
That had been Saturday. Sunday had been quiet. No noise, no music, no arguing, no sex cries. Jared didn’t think about it and enjoyed having the house to himself. When it was still the same on Monday morning, and in the evening when he came back home, he started to worry a little.
It’s not unusual for Chris and Steve to vanish for days, stranded at clubs or hiding in studios. That Jensen is joining the disappearing act isn’t usual at all, and Jared wonders what’s up.
Only, he has no time to think about it any more during the next few days. His boss is being an even bigger asshole than usual, and Jared’s working until he feels like death warmed over. He pretty sure he’s rocking the look as well.
His chance of making partner shrinks with every passing day, with every missed chance of impressing his new boss - and Jared has secretly started to think that impressing him means letting him get into Jared’s pants but he’s kept that too himself so far - and completing all his tasks on time.
That it’s not possible to actually do them ‘on time' doesn’t count when it comes to his boss’ expectations. Jared’s given up even trying to talk to the man, and he has to admit that Jensen might be right. But it’s his job and he needs the job.
And it is two weeks before Christmas, so Jared hasn’t even asked for time off, seeing as Gen and Katie did and got a decisive 'No'. He’s mentally bracing himself for the fact that he has to spend the holidays without his family. Okay, they're only about four hours away, but he doesn’t see a way to drive down to San Antonio when he’ll have to take work home over the holidays.
It’s Friday again when he comes stumbling home, much like he did a week ago.
Jared kicks off his shoes, drops his bag and keys and braces himself for the usual sight. Only, there is no chaos, no traces of a party or any kind of fun being had. Instead, there are soft lights glowing from the living room, and Jared makes his way slowly around the corner.
He stops short when he sees what’s glowing in there.
It’s a Christmas tree in the corner of the room, all decked out in all its Christmas-y glory. Jared’s kinda speechless. Okay, he’s a lot speechless. He’d totally forgotten about any kind of decorations, and he usually loves them. Loves to run around the house and annoy everyone with his cheerful Christmas mood. This year, that has been lost between folders, cases, overtime and fighting off advances from his new boss.
This is just something he didn’t know he needed. The smile is growing on his face, and he feels himself taking a deep breath and sinking down on the couch staring at the tree.
“Okay?”
Jared doesn’t jump but whips his head around way too fast. Jensen is standing in the doorway to the kitchen, face unreadable and eyes fixed on Jared. Something is up, but Jared’s too tired again to think about it, to face it.
“Okay? It’s awesome. You?”
“Yeah. There was no tree, and I was wondering what’s up with that. I just thought I’d do it so you’ll have something Christmas-y around.” Jensen shrugs, scratches his neck, doesn’t look at Jared at all and doesn’t move any further into the room.
He’s nervous, Jared realizes.
This is new.
“You did that all for me?” Jared looks at the tree again and wonders what he did to deserve a best friend like Jensen.
Jensen, who mumbles something under his breath that sounds a little like ‘anything for you’, but Jared’s pretty sure he misheard that. So he asks.
“What?”
“Uhm…just…I haven’t seen you all week, and I hoped you’d be home today. You look so tired, and I thought you wouldn’t have time to get it all done before going home for Christmas. I…uhm…I wanted to go to lunch with you on Wednesday…well, your boss said you’d be busy. Saw you in at Roberto’s, looked busy enough.” Jensen shrugs again, and there is this undertone Jared doesn’t know how to take.
It actually sounds a little like jealousy, like Jensen is holding back what he really wants to say and Jared’s not sure what it all means. This isn’t like Jensen, this hasn’t been Jensen since junior in college when he told Jared about being in love with Danneel. It’s throwing him a bit.
Jensen is being weird, and Jared is clueless about how to react.
“You talked to Jeff? But he didn’t say anything. Just dragged me off and talked about work through lunch, didn’t even eat anything.” Jared sighs again, and drops his head back onto the couch and closes his eyes.
“Don’t even know if I can go home during the holidays. He’s told everyone who asked no and I’m afraid to ask now.”
Then there is warmth against the side of his body, and he can smell fresh soap and something distinctively Jensen. He likes the fact that Jensen is so close; he needs it right now. They sit there for a while, Jared sinking further down on the couch and Jensen just being there. They don’t speak for a while, but there is no need for it.
Then Jensen pulls him closer, leaves his arm stretched over Jared’s shoulders and Jared feels the warmth seeping through him. His heart beat skips a little, just a tiny bit but he has to take a breath before he allows himself to sink against Jensen.
“Oh, Jay.”
It’s just a moment, but one Jared used to dream about. If he ever had a chance with Jensen, this is what it should feel like.
“He’s using you, Jay.”
“Yeah, probably.” Jared surprises them both with the admission, but he’s done fighting about it. Because Jensen is right, and Jared is tired of denying it. “I need the job though.”
“I know. I know.” Jensen is quiet, unusually so and Jared is about to ask when Jensen shifts a little. Jared slides down even more, his head resting on Jensen’s shoulder now, and neither of them moves away.
“Thank you.” It’s mumbled against warm skin, making his lips tingle and a smile spread on his face when he feels Jensen shiver beneath him.
“You’re welcome. Miss the cheery Jared. A lot.” And there it is again, the undertone that has been there for quite some time and that makes Jared so confused, makes him question everything he knows about himself and about Jensen.
“Jen?”
Jensen doesn’t move, doesn’t say a thing, and after a few minutes Jared gives up on hoping for an answer. He shifts to get up but is immediately pulled back against Jensen’s body. Jared’s too tired to fight, to struggle, and he actually likes where he is right now. He shouldn’t, should get away from Jensen, from the situation. He doesn’t, doesn’t want to.
Jared looks at the tree, smiles and lets himself drift off. He feels safe there, protected, and it has been a while since he felt that. There are soft lips against his temple; he wants to comment on it, wants to call Jensen out on it, ask what it all means, but he sinks into sleep before he can.
***
Jensen is weird, or weirder than he has been recently, during the next few days. Jared never really sees him, never talks to him besides notes on the fridge telling him what to get from the store or what Jensen needs him to pay the next time he’s at the bank.
The thing is, Jensen is mostly home. He has an office in the basement, and Jared sees light there every evening. But he never sees Jensen and he never dares to disturb either.
Jensen’s office is his holy place, no one’s allowed in there without written permission. Jared has learned that the bad way and he never wants to life through Jensen losing it again. Once was awkward enough, especially Jensen trying to apologize for a whole month afterwards. Though, Jared has to admit that he sometimes misses finding awesome cupcakes on his breakfast plate.
Another thing is that Jensen doesn’t seem to go out anymore more either, or bring his conquests home. There are no parties, and he actually cleans up everything before Jared comes home.
Jensen always goes out. Always. There isn’t a day in the week that Jensen doesn’t have any plans or asks Jared to join him. He hasn’t asked since Jared’s new boss stepped into the picture and Jared’s glad about that even if he misses Jensen’s constant nagging about the lack of any mentionable love life.
So what if Jared hasn’t been on a date in over three years? It’s not like he’s on a dry spell. There have been one-nightstands. Okay, there has been one one-nightstand and Jensen doesn’t even know about. But Jared has valid reasons for living like a monk.
Getting over realizing that you might or might not be head over heels in love with your best friend takes a while to get over. Not to mention that ever since that revelation hit Jared has spent a lot of energy on convincing himself that it has only been a crush and nothing more. And really, Jared still has two healthy hands. If his fantasies still sometimes feature said best friend Jared does his best to ignore it.
It’s a week until Christmas before Jared gets the chance to talk to speak to Jensen again. Jared still doesn’t know if he’ll be able to go home for Christmas and is about to call his momma when Jensen walks into the kitchen where Jared’s cooking chilli. Jensen falters a little when he sees Jared, blushes even and ducks his head.
“Hi,” Jared tries.
“Uhm…hey.” Jensen shuffles forward to the fridge, and it’s then that Jared realizes what Jensen is wearing. It’s just a t-shirt and sweatpants, something Jensen only wears when he hasn’t left the house in days and doesn’t plan to do so in the near future. There are dark circles under Jensen’s eyes; he looks pale and rugged in a way Jared doesn’t find too hot. And that has to say something since Jared almost always finds Jensen hot.
Jared feels like they're dancing around each other. Jensen moves when Jared does, careful not to touch. It’s confusing, to say the least, and Jared feels a little helpless. Then Jensen bends down to get a bottle of beer and Jared’s eyes automatically move to the slip of exposed skin just above his waistband.
Jared’s fingers twitch, rattle the spoon in the pot, and Jensen jumps a little, straightens, and Jared can’t suppress the little disappointed sound that leaves his mouth. It’s embarrassing, how much he can’t hold back when Jensen is around. Jared thinks it has gotten worse again, ever since Jensen started to act weird around him.
Hope is a cruel thing to have. Jared knows all about it.
Jensen is staring at him now, wide-eyed with surprise. It’s such a funny look that Jared almost doesn’t suppress the laugh that’s bubbling up inside of him.
“Uh…I…I need to go and wrap presents. See ya.” With that, Jensen is gone. And Jensen never, ever wraps presents, not even the ones for his parents.
Jared’s so confused that he finishes the chili, calls his momma, tries not to cry with her when he tells her that he doesn’t know if he can come home and then just sits in the living room staring at the tree.
That’s how Jensen finds him an hour later.
“Jay?”
“What’s up with you, Jensen? You’ve been acting weird for a while now and you… you don’t talk to me. You know, you can tell me anything. I’m your best friend, and the fact that you don’t sort of hurts.”
Jared hadn’t planned to say anything like that, but seeing Jensen standing there like an insecure little boy snapped something inside of him. Jensen looks gorgeous like that, all innocent and confused. He looks like Jared feels, and suddenly Jared has to know what’s going on.
Of course, Jensen stalls a bit, moves around the room and rearranges pictures and decorations. He fidgets, and when he catches Jared’s eyes on him, he blushes again. Then he flops down next to Jared, close but not touching.
“I don’t know how to tell you,” Jensen mumbles, head down and not looking anywhere but his lap. It’s such a contrast to the cocky, self-confident, sexy Jensen Jared has known for the last few years that he’s a little stunned.
And then things just click into place, and Jared laughs out loud. He’s so stupid; of course it’s easy. It’s the one thing that would make Jensen insecure and shy. He’s only seen it happen once, and it’s been so long that Jared never even thought about it. Back then Jensen was awkward and shy as well, not talking and holing himself away in his dorm room.
“You're in love.”
Jensen flinches, cheeks getting even redder, and Jared actually feels bad for blurting it out like this. Tact is something he usually possesses.
“’M sorry, Jen. But…but you are, right?”
There is tension between them, nothing bad or too strung out, but still tangible. Then Jensen shrugs, nods and shifts on the couch again. He's the picture of embarrassment and misery.
“Come on, man. It can’t be that bad. It’s a good sign that love conquers all, even such an indecisive heart like yours, Mr. Serial Dater. Although, I feel kinda sorry for the person. You’re not exactly experienced with long-lasting relationships.”
The second he says it, Jared wants to hit himself. Jensen pales even more under his flushed cheeks, looks up at Jared with so much hurt in his eyes that Jared actually cringes and then just stands up.
“Fuck you, Jay. Just rub it in, why don't you.”
The door slams shut in Jared’s face, and Jensen doesn’t answer any of his requests to open it again. Yeah, Jared kind of screwed that up. He sucks as a best friend lately, and he doesn’t know how to fix it.
He does put a bowl of chili in front of Jensen’s door, though, and smiles a little when it’s gone the next morning.
***
But before he can talk to Jensen again, though, he has to go through Christian Kane. Chris who’s been home for a day and already knows that something is up.
It’s the second day that he corners Jared in the kitchen and doesn’t stop growling until Jared physically pushes him away.
“What the hell, Chris? I do speak caveman, but that’s a bit much don’t you think?”
“You are a fucking moron, Padalecki,” Chris doesn’t even stop growling to deliver that line. He also doesn’t move away from Jared; it’s a little uncomfortable. Sure, everyone knows that Jared’s touchy-feely as well as out and proud, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like his own space from time to time. Chris is definitely too close right now.
“Okay. What have I done now?” Jared knows what he’s done, he just doesn’t want to talk to Chris about it. It’s a thing between Jensen and him.
“God, the boy actually tells you what’s up and you go and mock him. ‘Course I know you don’t believe he means it, seeing as he doesn’t have the best track record, but couldn’t you have been a bit less douchey about it?” Chris is in his face again and Jared actually considers punching him. It’s too close. Especially after what he’d gone through at work that morning.
“What? I do believe him. I know he’s in love, I've seen it before. And I said I was sorry. Jen just doesn’t talk to me.” Jared shrugs, feels like an asshole again and hopes that Chris won’t want to go into details and go all chick-flicky on him, because that would be seriously creepy.
Chris looks a little confused for a second, though, and Jared doesn’t know what the means.
“He told you who it is right? I mean, he said he told you, so I thought he told you everything.”
Great, of course Chris knows who Jensen is in love with. The first time in years it happens, and Jensen doesn’t come to him. Yeah, he might have been a bit busy and he might have been a sucky best friend lately, but he still would have thought that Jensen could tell him things like that. Especially when they mean Jensen is miserable and needs a shoulder to lean on.
“Uh…no? Someone I know?” Because yeah, Jared’s masochistic and curious at the same time.
“Oh fuck me,” Chris grunts, slumps against the kitchen counter and rubs a hand over his face. Right now he looks like he doesn’t know what to do anymore, but a second later there is a gleam in his eye, and Jared actually fears for his life for a second.
“He’ll kill me for telling you, but I can’t just stand here anymore and watch you two clueless idiots stumbling around and not getting a clue. It’s you, Jared. It’s freaking you, and Jensen is too chicken to tell you,” Chris sighs.
Jared sits down, right where he is. There is no chair, so he hits the tiled kitchen floor and grunts at the impact. There is nothing in his head right now, just Chris’ words and the fact that Jared is an idiot.
He has a chance with Jensen? It’s him Jensen is in love with? Since when? Why? How? Most importantly, Jensen has been going through the same heartaching misery Jared had tworked his way through?
All those questions want to tumble out of his mouth, fly around in his mind, but he never says a single word. He feels sick, dizzy and hot. It’s like a fever is spreading through him and he’s not sure how to stay conscious now.
Then one thought that takes hold, one that makes him swallow hard and almost whimper. Jensen is miserable but Jensen also isn’t the most reliable guy when it comes to relationships.
In the end the question of whether Jared’s willing to let himself be with Jensen when he knows it won’t last long is what makes him open his mouth.
“Oh,” he breathes out and looks up at Chris, who looks a little shocked and maybe a little sorry as well.
“Yeah. Oh. So get your ass up and do something about it. I’m sick of seeing both of you miserable.”
Jared swallows, can’t think about what to do, about the next step, and stays sitting on the floor. He stares at Chris’s shoes for a while, until they move out of his field of vision, and then just at the tiles. He blinks rapidly when Chris sinks down next to him.
“Not what you wanted to hear, huh?” It’s the first time in the ten years he’s known Chris that the other man sounds concerned.
“I just…it's been so long, Chris. Three years now. He never…I didn’t think he’d be interested, and it’s just a bit too much right now. And then he’s not…there's nothing more than just a few weeks with him. Even with Danneel, and he was in love with her. I…I don’t know if I can do that, if I want to do that. Be one of his three months relationships.” Jared doesn’t recognize his own voice, it’s scratchy and small.
Chris nods but doesn’t move away.
“Why do you think he’s so miserable now? He's been hiding from everyone and everything the last two months.”
The last two months? That long?
“God dammit, Jared. I’m gonna kill your boss. This work is seriously screweing wioth your brain and your perception. Yeah, two months, and I think it's been going on for way longer for Jensen, anyway.”
So Chris can read thoughts now as well. How cool.
“Jared?”
“Yeah?”
“Your mouth is faster than your brain again.”
“Oh. Okay. Thanks.”
This whole situation is so surreal that Jared has to giggle about it all. He feels drunk and kind of high. He’s not sure that this is a good state of mind.
“Jen’s afraid, Jared. Afraid that you might think exactly what you're thinking right now. God, he knows you know him, about his way of doing things, and he thinks you’ll never give him a chance anyway.”
Jared blinks again, can’t tell how long he stares at the floor and tries to sort his thoughts. When he looks at Chris, he can tell that his friend knows what will come next.
“I…I don’t know if I can, Chris.”
“I’m sorry, Jared.”
Jensen’s back is the last thing he sees before he’s pulled into a tight hug against Chris’ chest. He’s not registering the sobs until he's soaked half of Chris’ shirt.
Jared’s not even embarrassed about sitting on the kitchen floor and crying into another man’s shoulder. What breaks his heart, though, is the fact that the other man isn’t Jensen.
***
The next few days are awkward and feel stilted.
They don’t actively try to avoid each other, but they also don’t seek each other out. And if they run into each other, they stumble over words, stare at each other and blush like they’ve never done before.
Jared doesn’t have enough words to curse the situation; he doesn’t have any ideas how to resolve it either. He’s been losing sleep over it, and his boss is on his case about badly written notes and missed deadlines (only for a test trials but that’s bad enough already).
Jared feels even more like a zombie than he has during the last few months, and he’s pretty sure that his brain isn’t anywhere close to catching up to the fucked up situation with Jensen. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend, but he also doesn’t know how to behave when Jensen is close.
The fact that he might be allowed to touch is enough to make him recoil and not try anything at all. He’s even reluctant to just smile at Jensen, and it breaks his heart to see the sad one he gets in return when he fails.
And then Jensen does the thing he can do best; he surprises Jared. It’s a 180 degree turn, and Jared is so stunned that he actually blanks out of the conversation for a few minutes.
When he’s back with the world again, Jensen is kneeling in front of him, smirking a little, but concern written all over his face. Green eyes are vibrant, full of life and hope, something Jared realizes he has missed lately.
“So, what’ya think?”
“’bout what?” Jared mumbles, somehow caught in Jensen’s eyes and the way he’s chewing on his lips. He wants to reach out and drag his thumb over the soft-looking flesh. He wants to lean forward and kiss Jensen like he’s always wanted to do. The fact that he could makes his blood boil a little.
Jared’s still reluctant though.
“God, you didn’t really listen, did you?”
“Uhm…I heard the word date.”
Jensen’s blinding smile makes Jared’s heart skip, makes him realize again how much he loves to see Jensen happy and smiling.
“Then you got the important part. Just, go on a date with me. What have we got to lose now? I’ll still be your best friend if it doesn’t work out. I know you…you think it won’t work. But we haven’t even tried it yet and I…I really want to try, Jared.”
There is a second where Jared wants to say yes without thinking about it at all. But then he thinks about what might happen if it really doesn’t work out, and he bites his lip. Jensen sighs, resigned, and nods, tries to get up.
Only when his hand closes around Jensen’s arm does Jared realize he’s moving. He drags Jensen down on the couch next to him and swallows. It’s now or never, and he doesn’t want to see that sad look on Jensen's face again. Can’t stand to think that he’s the reason for it.
“Okay. Just let me think about it, okay? A few days. Just ask me again in a few days. Okay?”
It’s not the smile he wants to see, but it’s a smile nonetheless, and Jared takes it for what it is. A chance.
***
The awkwardness stays between them, only now it’s different. There are deliberate touches now, on both sides. Jared’s not sure when he started to reciprocate but every time he sits close to Jensen, doesn’t shrug his arm off or moves away when Jensen hip checks him, he gets this special smile from Jensen that’s worth everything.
Chris rolls his eyes at them constantly, but Jared doesn’t mind. He knows there has been a huge fight about Chris’ right to talk about Jensen’s private issues, but Jared also knows that things are okay between his roommates.
He and Jensen are dancing around each other again, it’s just a different dance now. A dance where they don’t hide that they're staring at one another, a dance where they don’t shy back and think too much about consequences. There are new moves connected to old, well-known ones. There are steps Jared knows and some he’s never seen before.
There are new sides of Jensen, as well, and Jared realizes that he likes this new Jensen. It’s still the old Jensen that is in love but now he’s trying to get what he really wants. It makes Jared dizzy that he really seems to be the one.
The tension is thick between them, almost touchable, like wall, like something keeping them apart. But Jensen hasn’t asked again, yet.
Jared watches Jensen, raises his eyebrow every time Jensen smirks, and pouts just a little bit when the question doesn’t come. It hangs between them, and when he’s drunk on mulled wine after the office Christmas party, he tells Chris about it.
Chris just laughs in his face and calls it the longest foreplay in history. Jared chokes on his own spit, and Chris ends up carrying him home. Thank God for roommates who work in the same company.
***
It’s the day before Christmas, and Jared’s pretty sure he just lost his job. Telling your boss he can suck himself probably does that to one's employment status. The thing is that Jared doesn’t really care about it.
All Jared cares about is the fact that he just opened his door and found his family standing there. With Jensen right behind them. Oh, and Jensen’s family as well.
“Momma? Dad? What? What’s going on?”
“Well, since you couldn’t come to us over the holidays, we thought we’d come to you. Or, well, Jensen thought it was a good idea to call us and plan a surprise for you.”
“Jensen?” Jared stares, and then he moves. He doesn’t hug his momma or his dad. No, he moves right through and reaches out for Jensen. The hug that follows lasts longer than any of the hugs he ever gave Jensen before, and they both know it means something.
“Thank you. Thank you so much, Jen,” Jared mumbles against warm skin, and it feels like déjà vu, thinking about the tree and how Jensen had done that for him as well.
“Didn’t wanna leave you alone for Christmas. Hope you don’t mind that I dragged my family here as well,” Jensen says, quiet and hopeful. “I… I don’t want to lose you, Jay. I’ll take whatever you're willing to give. If it’s friendship, I’ll do hell not to take it. I don’t know how to convince you that this is different, but I’ll do anything you want me to.”
It’s then that Jared’s able to identify what he’s been feeling for the last few days. He’s already back to being completely gone for his best friend, and right now he can admit that he never was over Jensen, anyway. He can also see that Jensen means everything he’s said and done lately. He believes Jensen, and it makes him grin goofily.
Jensen's answering laughter might be due to being ticklish and Jared’s lips moving against his skin, or it might be that he realized that something clicked in Jared’s head.
“Why me? What did I do to get your attention?” Jared just has to ask. After all those years, after Jensen never looking twice at him, Jared has to know.
They are alone in the hallway now, Jared’s momma having a third sense when it comes to private situations and Jared doesn’t let go of Jensen. Just moves far enough away to be able to look at him.
Cheeks flushes and eyes glimmering like they haven’t been for a while Jensen just shrugs and smiles.
“It has always been you, I guess. Was looking for something and you have been there all the time. Thought I found it in every relationship, just the thrill of being in love was great. After a while it just vanished. But you have always been there… Have been there for me,” Jensen says quietly, almost as if he thinks anything louder than a whisper will destroy the situation.
“It’s just… One day, I cam out of the office, you were slumped down on the coach, sun was coming through window. It’s such a cliché, so damn cheesy and if you repeat it to anyone I’ll kill you. Just.. I think I saw you for the first time again.. after I kind of stopped in high school.”
Jared tries to process it all and gets stuck on one thing.
“High school?”
“Uhm, maybe? I had a little crush on you but you and Milo happened and I didn’t want to risk our friendship. Hey stop looking at me like that. As if you did any better. Tell this is not the same reason you never said anything. I heard you and Chris, you know.”
Jensen doesn’t look smug or annoyed, just a little sad now. Jared knows this feeling just too well.
“So much wasted time then.”
“Yeah. Just, let’s not do it again, huh?” Jensen hugs him again and then drags him into the living room where they join their families and endure the “aww-ing” and “oh-ing” over the beautiful tree. Jared can’t hold back the smirk at Jensen’s full blown blush when he can’t help but tell them all that it’s Jensen’s work alone.
Jared doesn’t have a chance to really talk to Jensen for the rest of the day. He doesn’t mind it, though, because his family is there, Jensen is there, and Jensen’s family as well.
***
Christmas is loud and happy, like it hasn’t been in a while.
In the evening on Christmas Day Jared’s happily stuffed and totally comfortable just sitting on the couch and letting everyone mill around. He needs this time of, needs to come down from the months of hell at work and from all the emotional rollercoaster of the last few days.
His momma and Jensen’s are in the kitchen, preparing eggnog and keeping the sisters busy. Their dads and brothers are in Chris’ studio, watching how things are done. Jared smiles at the thought of them piling around the mixing counter and bombarding Jensen with questions. Oh yeah, they had kidnapped Jensen right after dinner.
Jared hasn’t seen him since.
Jared hasn’t told anybody about the job thing yet, but he thinks he has time now, anyway. And he thinks Jensen will regard those new as another Christmas present. He finds it kind of endearing that Jensen actually is jealous and feels his chest tighten a bit at the thought as well.
Jensen really means it all. Jared’s tempted to believe him, is probably well on his way already. Jared’s still not sure if he’s doing the right thing, but Jensen making this Christmas happen and being his awesome self again makes Jared smile and realize that he’s given in already.
“Hey.”
Jared smiles, pats the free space next to him and snorts when Jensen swings himself over the back of the couch instead of walking around it. It also places Jensen almost directly on Jared’s lap, and he’s not going to complain about it.
“Good Christmas?”
“Yeah. Yes, Jensen. Thank you.” Jared smiles, at the tree and then at Jensen, feels happy when Jensen is looking straight back at him. There is a sparkle in his eyes, and Jared’s breath catches in his throat.
They are close now. So very close, and Jared feels Jensen’s breath on his lips.
“Ask, Jensen. Ask,” Jared sighs against soft skin before their lips meet. The kiss is slow, gentle, loving. Nothing at all like the kisses Jared had imagined for years, and so much more. Jared’s heart jumps, his fingers dragging through Jensen’s hair and pulling him closer.
When they pull apart, neither of them says a word; they just stay close and breathe. They smile and kiss again, and then Jensen grins against Jared’s lips.
“Will you go on a date with me? On New Year’s Eve?”
Jared smiles, happy and not reluctant at all.
“Yes, Jensen. I will go on a date with you. On New Year’s Eve.”
The end.
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: RPS, AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7.798
Warnings/Spoilers: none
Beta: Many thanks to smallearthcat for the very fast and awesome beta
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything.
Summary: The house looks like a war zone. And here, he’d thought that it would be over once they all finished college and found decent jobs. He should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. His roommates have stopped growing up since senior year in high school.
Nothing new then.
Notes: This was written for kain_abel for the spn_j2_xmas exchange.
I took the prompt: Jensen (or Jared) only has relationships that last for about 3 months, then breaks it up because he loves the thrill in the beginning but doesn't see a point in a long-lasting relationship. Jared and Jensen have been friends for a long time (maybe even roommates), but when the "serial dater" falls in love with his best friend it's not so easy to convince him that he doesn't just want to date him for 3 months. Lots of UST and reluctance on the best friend's part. (AU please).
I tried to use your likes of UST, schmoop and first time. I'm sorry that there is no porn at all, they just didn't want to. I hope you'll like it anyway and forgive me for the total schmoopiness of this. Happy Holidays. :)
Huge Thanks to elless18 for the brainstorming and throwing ideas back and worth. It really helped a lot.
And thanks to everyone on my flist who commented and encouraged me, you guys know who you are. :)
Title is generously borrowed from Take That's "Happy Now"
Jared stumbles through the door, cursing under his breath when he almost slips on something on the floor. It’s dark in the house but he knows he’s not alone. Switching the hall light on, he blinks several times and sighs when he see the chaos on the floor. He doesn’t even dare to glance at the living room table.
The three bottles of beer in the doorway are enough to indicate that there are many more to be discovered. Jared shuffles forward, drops his bag and keys somewhere less dirty and hopes he’ll be able to find them again the next morning. Blinking at the floor again Jared keeps his shoes on.
The house looks like a war zone. And here, he’d thought that it would be over once they all finished college and found decent jobs. He should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. His roommates have stopped growing up since senior year in high school.
Nothing new then.
The day has been too long already, and Jared’s not really in the mood, nor does he have the energy, to get worked up about the state of the house. He’s just tired, grumpy and fighting a massive headache. Jared just wants his bed.
Only, when he walks down the hallway he almost slips again, this time on something that looks suspiciously like women’s underwear. Jared sighs again. This isn’t anything new either.
There is a trail of clothes leading to Jensen’s room and Jared knows he’ll have to use earplugs again. Now, everything is silent, but that doesn’t mean it’ll stay like this. It’s just barely after one, after all.
Jared briefly wonders if the panties belong to some kind of role-play or if Markus has been replaced by someone distinctively female, then decides he doesn’t want to think about it and that the latter is way more probable. It’s Jensen after all. Jared stopped trying to understand the man long ago - and hoping to have a chance with him. They’ve know each other for 15 years now and never has Jensen even tried to pick Jared up.
And Jared’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have let it happen anyway. Not now. Not with the way Jensen is speeding through hook-ups and semi-serious relationships without showing signs of settling down. Jared’s looking for something strong and long-lasting. And even if Jensen is totally his type and way too gorgeous for this world, it’s not a possibility, not after years of pining and finally getting over it.
Also, it’s really not the time to think about that again.
He sighs again and shuffles to his room, clicks the door shut silently behind him and flops face down onto his bed. He should shower, should change out of his clothes but he can’t bring himself to move.
A second later he’s fast asleep.
***
Jared stumbles out of his room way too early for a weekend and wonders if stumbling is his new way of moving around the house. The clothes in the hallway are gone, for which Jared is grateful; he so isn’t in the mood to either see them or to have to move them out of the way.
The chaos in the living room is still there, though. He won’t touch any of those bottles, glasses or pizza boxes. He won’t. Sadly, he knows his resolution will last until his brain decides to really wake up and start its hate on anything dirty and out of order. He already hates his roommates for speculating on that.
Jensen is in the kitchen, usually something Jared would appreciate because he hates having to eat alone. He likes to talk, after all. But he feels like a caveman this morning, reduced to grunts and hand gestures, neither of which will work since Jensen has his back to Jared and earphones in.
Also, Jensen is in the way, standing between Jared and his much needed coffee. So he moves into the kitchen, prepares to move Jensen away from the cupboard where the coffee is waiting, but stops short when Jensen starts to move his hips.
This is just really unfair.
Jared stares for a minute or two, or maybe even three.
Jensen dancing, singing under his breath, is a sight to behold, and Jared takes it all in. Takes the chance that is presented to him and just watches.
Jensen is an outgoing type most of the time, but when it comes to his musical talents, he's impossibly shy and not open at all. There's a reason he’s the boss of the label and not in any of the bands he has under contract.
Jensen is just wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, same as Jared is sporting right now, hair unruly and spiked like he just dropped out of bed, which he probably did. It’s Saturday after all. It’s all Jared can do not to go over and hug him close to his chest.
And Jared doesn’t really want to do it anyway. He’s over his little infatuation. He really is.
It’s just a flicker of a moment, short and peaceful, but Jared knows he can’t let it go on for any longer. He’s not one to torture himself endlessly with things he can’t have. So he moves again, grabs Jensen by the hips and moves him deftly out of the way. And he only allows himself a small smirk at the squeak Jensen lets loose.
“Fuck, Jay. What the hell?” Jensen sounds too awake for someone who apparently had a very nice party night.
“Coffee,” Jared grunts in reply, and doesn’t mind when Jensen just stares at him.
“Eloquent, Jared.” Jensen moves over to the fridge and starts pulling things out. It takes Jared a bit to realize that Jensen is about to make pancakes. He knows what will come next. He knows his best friend way too well. Oh yeah, that’s another reason why Jared is so over his little crush; Jensen is his best friend, and Jared will never consciously do anything to lose that. He’s mentally preparing himself for Jensen’s request to be gone tonight. Pancakes always mean Jensen wants something from him. Unfortunately, they never mean Jared gets anything he wants in return.
“Fuck you.” Another grunt and Jared is reaching out for the coffee box.
“Naw, man. Can’t. All powered out.” Jared can hear the smirk in the words, rolls his eyes and doesn’t deem them worth an answer.
A second later he feels like crying, and there may be little whimpering sounds coming from him as well.
“Jay?” And Jensen sounds concerned now, all attitude dropped, and there is a hand on Jared’s back as well.
“No coffee.”
“Oh shit. Man, I’m so sorry. I totally forgot. Chris dragged the guys back here yesterday and we ended up going through the new CD. I forgot to go shopping.” Jensen actually sounds upset, but Jared’s not in the mood to comfort him right now. He sighs, something he has been doing a lot lately and shakes his head.
Jared’s about to shuffle back into his room to get dressed and then do the grocery shopping that was supposed to be done yesterday, but then Jensen is there, blocking his way. Green eyes try to catch his, and Jared lets it happen for a second.
“Jen…”
“I’m sorry, Jared. Really. Let me do the shopping now, okay? You look like you could use a little more sleep. When did you get home anyway?”
“Around one, I think. Dunno. Party was over already.” Jared shifts because suddenly, Jensen is too close. He knows the look on his best friend’s face and he really, really isn’t in the mood to go over that topic once again. They have agreed to disagree several thousand times already, and it’s his day off and he’s still freaking tired. He hopes Jensen will grant him the favor and not start again.
Of course, Jensen won’t.
“He’s using you, Jay.”
“Can we… can we not do that right now? I just want coffee and my bed and just…not thinking about work or life or anything.”
The last few weeks have just been…not great, and this is his first weekend off. Sometimes Jared wonders why he wanted to be a lawyer in the first place. He loves his job, usually. He still would, if it wasn’t for his new boss.
“Okay. Just…go to bed. There’ll be coffee when you wake up again. I promise.”
There is something in Jensen’s look that Jared can’t identify. It hasn’t been there before, and it’s gone as soon a Jensen realizes that Jared’s watching him.
Jensen has been a little weird lately anyway. Ever since Jared caught him watching old high school videos of them and mocking Jensen’s far away gaze. Sometimes it’s like Jensen is thinking about something, is caught in another world and has to shake himself to come back to the present.
Jared has found him numerous times zoned out with a glazed over look and some kind of fear hidden behind it when Jensen realized it was Jared catching him so out of it again.
One day, when Jared isn’t tired as hell, creeped out by his very inappropriate boss or very annoyed with his roommates, Jared will sit Jensen down and ask what’s up. They haven’t had one on one time in quite a while, and Jared misses it.
“Yeah…yeah…just…tell Chris to clean his stuff up. I’m not his fucking maid.”
Jensen laughs, moves a little so that Jared can pass and pats him on the back. Jared doesn’t flinch, is proud of himself that he doesn’t react at all and smiles at Jensen for a second. He is too tired to interpret anything in the look he gets back.
“Oh, Jen?”
“Hmm?” Jensen is busy re-stocking the dishwasher. Jared doesn’t smile at the sight but feels something in his chest squeeze tight. Jensen hates touching anything close to the dishwasher, hates it with a passion. So this is just nice to see. Usually it’s Jared’s job.
“Please tell me that the panties that almost caused me to break a leg last night aren’t Markus’ way of trying new things.”
It gets a snort out of Jensen, and Jared is momentarily stunned by the slight flush on freckled cheeks. It’s a rare thing for Jensen to be embarrassed about his sex life. Really rare.
“Uhm…no. Name was Celia.” Jensen isn’t looking at him, and Jared has a hard time judging from just his hunched shoulders if he can ask more or if he should let it drop.
“Yeah?”
“Markus isn’t in the picture anymore. Hasn’t been for a while. Just…you know…it’s been 12 weeks,” Jensen almost mumbles.
And that’s just so Jensen.
The man can’t seem to have a relationship that lasts longer than three months. His excuse is that he gets bored and that usually his partners get bored as well; if it’s really like that…well, Jared doesn’t know. He gave up getting to know Jensen’s ‘partners’ during their first year in college. It just got too much to remember and a little too confusing with Jensen’s changing lovers about every three or four months, so Jared just stopped trying.
He’s not judging, would never dare to, but Jensen is his best friend, and but sometimes Jared thinks that in the long run Jensen won’t be happy if he goes on like this.
“Well, that’s at least longer than Lisa or Brian. You're increasing the time frame.”
Jensen is ducking his head even more now, and Jared’s a little confused.
“Uh, yeah. Building up to something, I guess. Go to bed, Jared. You really look like you need it.”
Jared stares for a while. Usually Jensen likes to brag about his conquests, likes to tell every detail, even if no one wants to hear them. Now though, he uses one of Jared’s tactics to change the topic. Jared’s really tired and just takes the chance and runs with it.
“’kay. Coffee. Don’t forget the coffee.”
Jensen laughs, a little stilted, but freely. “Sure, Jay. I won’t.”
***
There had been coffee when Jared finally fell out of bed again. There had even been food and a clean living room. There had also been no Jensen around. And it had stayed like that for the next few days.
Jared’s spent his weekend off mainly on bed. Sleeping and reading and not caring about the state of his room or the house. He heard Chris and Steve arguing, heard them making up again as well. He heard Jensen clean the rest of the chaos away and smiled into his pillow at Jensen’s commands that sent Chris, and even Steve, scuttling through the house.
That had been Saturday. Sunday had been quiet. No noise, no music, no arguing, no sex cries. Jared didn’t think about it and enjoyed having the house to himself. When it was still the same on Monday morning, and in the evening when he came back home, he started to worry a little.
It’s not unusual for Chris and Steve to vanish for days, stranded at clubs or hiding in studios. That Jensen is joining the disappearing act isn’t usual at all, and Jared wonders what’s up.
Only, he has no time to think about it any more during the next few days. His boss is being an even bigger asshole than usual, and Jared’s working until he feels like death warmed over. He pretty sure he’s rocking the look as well.
His chance of making partner shrinks with every passing day, with every missed chance of impressing his new boss - and Jared has secretly started to think that impressing him means letting him get into Jared’s pants but he’s kept that too himself so far - and completing all his tasks on time.
That it’s not possible to actually do them ‘on time' doesn’t count when it comes to his boss’ expectations. Jared’s given up even trying to talk to the man, and he has to admit that Jensen might be right. But it’s his job and he needs the job.
And it is two weeks before Christmas, so Jared hasn’t even asked for time off, seeing as Gen and Katie did and got a decisive 'No'. He’s mentally bracing himself for the fact that he has to spend the holidays without his family. Okay, they're only about four hours away, but he doesn’t see a way to drive down to San Antonio when he’ll have to take work home over the holidays.
It’s Friday again when he comes stumbling home, much like he did a week ago.
Jared kicks off his shoes, drops his bag and keys and braces himself for the usual sight. Only, there is no chaos, no traces of a party or any kind of fun being had. Instead, there are soft lights glowing from the living room, and Jared makes his way slowly around the corner.
He stops short when he sees what’s glowing in there.
It’s a Christmas tree in the corner of the room, all decked out in all its Christmas-y glory. Jared’s kinda speechless. Okay, he’s a lot speechless. He’d totally forgotten about any kind of decorations, and he usually loves them. Loves to run around the house and annoy everyone with his cheerful Christmas mood. This year, that has been lost between folders, cases, overtime and fighting off advances from his new boss.
This is just something he didn’t know he needed. The smile is growing on his face, and he feels himself taking a deep breath and sinking down on the couch staring at the tree.
“Okay?”
Jared doesn’t jump but whips his head around way too fast. Jensen is standing in the doorway to the kitchen, face unreadable and eyes fixed on Jared. Something is up, but Jared’s too tired again to think about it, to face it.
“Okay? It’s awesome. You?”
“Yeah. There was no tree, and I was wondering what’s up with that. I just thought I’d do it so you’ll have something Christmas-y around.” Jensen shrugs, scratches his neck, doesn’t look at Jared at all and doesn’t move any further into the room.
He’s nervous, Jared realizes.
This is new.
“You did that all for me?” Jared looks at the tree again and wonders what he did to deserve a best friend like Jensen.
Jensen, who mumbles something under his breath that sounds a little like ‘anything for you’, but Jared’s pretty sure he misheard that. So he asks.
“What?”
“Uhm…just…I haven’t seen you all week, and I hoped you’d be home today. You look so tired, and I thought you wouldn’t have time to get it all done before going home for Christmas. I…uhm…I wanted to go to lunch with you on Wednesday…well, your boss said you’d be busy. Saw you in at Roberto’s, looked busy enough.” Jensen shrugs again, and there is this undertone Jared doesn’t know how to take.
It actually sounds a little like jealousy, like Jensen is holding back what he really wants to say and Jared’s not sure what it all means. This isn’t like Jensen, this hasn’t been Jensen since junior in college when he told Jared about being in love with Danneel. It’s throwing him a bit.
Jensen is being weird, and Jared is clueless about how to react.
“You talked to Jeff? But he didn’t say anything. Just dragged me off and talked about work through lunch, didn’t even eat anything.” Jared sighs again, and drops his head back onto the couch and closes his eyes.
“Don’t even know if I can go home during the holidays. He’s told everyone who asked no and I’m afraid to ask now.”
Then there is warmth against the side of his body, and he can smell fresh soap and something distinctively Jensen. He likes the fact that Jensen is so close; he needs it right now. They sit there for a while, Jared sinking further down on the couch and Jensen just being there. They don’t speak for a while, but there is no need for it.
Then Jensen pulls him closer, leaves his arm stretched over Jared’s shoulders and Jared feels the warmth seeping through him. His heart beat skips a little, just a tiny bit but he has to take a breath before he allows himself to sink against Jensen.
“Oh, Jay.”
It’s just a moment, but one Jared used to dream about. If he ever had a chance with Jensen, this is what it should feel like.
“He’s using you, Jay.”
“Yeah, probably.” Jared surprises them both with the admission, but he’s done fighting about it. Because Jensen is right, and Jared is tired of denying it. “I need the job though.”
“I know. I know.” Jensen is quiet, unusually so and Jared is about to ask when Jensen shifts a little. Jared slides down even more, his head resting on Jensen’s shoulder now, and neither of them moves away.
“Thank you.” It’s mumbled against warm skin, making his lips tingle and a smile spread on his face when he feels Jensen shiver beneath him.
“You’re welcome. Miss the cheery Jared. A lot.” And there it is again, the undertone that has been there for quite some time and that makes Jared so confused, makes him question everything he knows about himself and about Jensen.
“Jen?”
Jensen doesn’t move, doesn’t say a thing, and after a few minutes Jared gives up on hoping for an answer. He shifts to get up but is immediately pulled back against Jensen’s body. Jared’s too tired to fight, to struggle, and he actually likes where he is right now. He shouldn’t, should get away from Jensen, from the situation. He doesn’t, doesn’t want to.
Jared looks at the tree, smiles and lets himself drift off. He feels safe there, protected, and it has been a while since he felt that. There are soft lips against his temple; he wants to comment on it, wants to call Jensen out on it, ask what it all means, but he sinks into sleep before he can.
***
Jensen is weird, or weirder than he has been recently, during the next few days. Jared never really sees him, never talks to him besides notes on the fridge telling him what to get from the store or what Jensen needs him to pay the next time he’s at the bank.
The thing is, Jensen is mostly home. He has an office in the basement, and Jared sees light there every evening. But he never sees Jensen and he never dares to disturb either.
Jensen’s office is his holy place, no one’s allowed in there without written permission. Jared has learned that the bad way and he never wants to life through Jensen losing it again. Once was awkward enough, especially Jensen trying to apologize for a whole month afterwards. Though, Jared has to admit that he sometimes misses finding awesome cupcakes on his breakfast plate.
Another thing is that Jensen doesn’t seem to go out anymore more either, or bring his conquests home. There are no parties, and he actually cleans up everything before Jared comes home.
Jensen always goes out. Always. There isn’t a day in the week that Jensen doesn’t have any plans or asks Jared to join him. He hasn’t asked since Jared’s new boss stepped into the picture and Jared’s glad about that even if he misses Jensen’s constant nagging about the lack of any mentionable love life.
So what if Jared hasn’t been on a date in over three years? It’s not like he’s on a dry spell. There have been one-nightstands. Okay, there has been one one-nightstand and Jensen doesn’t even know about. But Jared has valid reasons for living like a monk.
Getting over realizing that you might or might not be head over heels in love with your best friend takes a while to get over. Not to mention that ever since that revelation hit Jared has spent a lot of energy on convincing himself that it has only been a crush and nothing more. And really, Jared still has two healthy hands. If his fantasies still sometimes feature said best friend Jared does his best to ignore it.
It’s a week until Christmas before Jared gets the chance to talk to speak to Jensen again. Jared still doesn’t know if he’ll be able to go home for Christmas and is about to call his momma when Jensen walks into the kitchen where Jared’s cooking chilli. Jensen falters a little when he sees Jared, blushes even and ducks his head.
“Hi,” Jared tries.
“Uhm…hey.” Jensen shuffles forward to the fridge, and it’s then that Jared realizes what Jensen is wearing. It’s just a t-shirt and sweatpants, something Jensen only wears when he hasn’t left the house in days and doesn’t plan to do so in the near future. There are dark circles under Jensen’s eyes; he looks pale and rugged in a way Jared doesn’t find too hot. And that has to say something since Jared almost always finds Jensen hot.
Jared feels like they're dancing around each other. Jensen moves when Jared does, careful not to touch. It’s confusing, to say the least, and Jared feels a little helpless. Then Jensen bends down to get a bottle of beer and Jared’s eyes automatically move to the slip of exposed skin just above his waistband.
Jared’s fingers twitch, rattle the spoon in the pot, and Jensen jumps a little, straightens, and Jared can’t suppress the little disappointed sound that leaves his mouth. It’s embarrassing, how much he can’t hold back when Jensen is around. Jared thinks it has gotten worse again, ever since Jensen started to act weird around him.
Hope is a cruel thing to have. Jared knows all about it.
Jensen is staring at him now, wide-eyed with surprise. It’s such a funny look that Jared almost doesn’t suppress the laugh that’s bubbling up inside of him.
“Uh…I…I need to go and wrap presents. See ya.” With that, Jensen is gone. And Jensen never, ever wraps presents, not even the ones for his parents.
Jared’s so confused that he finishes the chili, calls his momma, tries not to cry with her when he tells her that he doesn’t know if he can come home and then just sits in the living room staring at the tree.
That’s how Jensen finds him an hour later.
“Jay?”
“What’s up with you, Jensen? You’ve been acting weird for a while now and you… you don’t talk to me. You know, you can tell me anything. I’m your best friend, and the fact that you don’t sort of hurts.”
Jared hadn’t planned to say anything like that, but seeing Jensen standing there like an insecure little boy snapped something inside of him. Jensen looks gorgeous like that, all innocent and confused. He looks like Jared feels, and suddenly Jared has to know what’s going on.
Of course, Jensen stalls a bit, moves around the room and rearranges pictures and decorations. He fidgets, and when he catches Jared’s eyes on him, he blushes again. Then he flops down next to Jared, close but not touching.
“I don’t know how to tell you,” Jensen mumbles, head down and not looking anywhere but his lap. It’s such a contrast to the cocky, self-confident, sexy Jensen Jared has known for the last few years that he’s a little stunned.
And then things just click into place, and Jared laughs out loud. He’s so stupid; of course it’s easy. It’s the one thing that would make Jensen insecure and shy. He’s only seen it happen once, and it’s been so long that Jared never even thought about it. Back then Jensen was awkward and shy as well, not talking and holing himself away in his dorm room.
“You're in love.”
Jensen flinches, cheeks getting even redder, and Jared actually feels bad for blurting it out like this. Tact is something he usually possesses.
“’M sorry, Jen. But…but you are, right?”
There is tension between them, nothing bad or too strung out, but still tangible. Then Jensen shrugs, nods and shifts on the couch again. He's the picture of embarrassment and misery.
“Come on, man. It can’t be that bad. It’s a good sign that love conquers all, even such an indecisive heart like yours, Mr. Serial Dater. Although, I feel kinda sorry for the person. You’re not exactly experienced with long-lasting relationships.”
The second he says it, Jared wants to hit himself. Jensen pales even more under his flushed cheeks, looks up at Jared with so much hurt in his eyes that Jared actually cringes and then just stands up.
“Fuck you, Jay. Just rub it in, why don't you.”
The door slams shut in Jared’s face, and Jensen doesn’t answer any of his requests to open it again. Yeah, Jared kind of screwed that up. He sucks as a best friend lately, and he doesn’t know how to fix it.
He does put a bowl of chili in front of Jensen’s door, though, and smiles a little when it’s gone the next morning.
***
But before he can talk to Jensen again, though, he has to go through Christian Kane. Chris who’s been home for a day and already knows that something is up.
It’s the second day that he corners Jared in the kitchen and doesn’t stop growling until Jared physically pushes him away.
“What the hell, Chris? I do speak caveman, but that’s a bit much don’t you think?”
“You are a fucking moron, Padalecki,” Chris doesn’t even stop growling to deliver that line. He also doesn’t move away from Jared; it’s a little uncomfortable. Sure, everyone knows that Jared’s touchy-feely as well as out and proud, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like his own space from time to time. Chris is definitely too close right now.
“Okay. What have I done now?” Jared knows what he’s done, he just doesn’t want to talk to Chris about it. It’s a thing between Jensen and him.
“God, the boy actually tells you what’s up and you go and mock him. ‘Course I know you don’t believe he means it, seeing as he doesn’t have the best track record, but couldn’t you have been a bit less douchey about it?” Chris is in his face again and Jared actually considers punching him. It’s too close. Especially after what he’d gone through at work that morning.
“What? I do believe him. I know he’s in love, I've seen it before. And I said I was sorry. Jen just doesn’t talk to me.” Jared shrugs, feels like an asshole again and hopes that Chris won’t want to go into details and go all chick-flicky on him, because that would be seriously creepy.
Chris looks a little confused for a second, though, and Jared doesn’t know what the means.
“He told you who it is right? I mean, he said he told you, so I thought he told you everything.”
Great, of course Chris knows who Jensen is in love with. The first time in years it happens, and Jensen doesn’t come to him. Yeah, he might have been a bit busy and he might have been a sucky best friend lately, but he still would have thought that Jensen could tell him things like that. Especially when they mean Jensen is miserable and needs a shoulder to lean on.
“Uh…no? Someone I know?” Because yeah, Jared’s masochistic and curious at the same time.
“Oh fuck me,” Chris grunts, slumps against the kitchen counter and rubs a hand over his face. Right now he looks like he doesn’t know what to do anymore, but a second later there is a gleam in his eye, and Jared actually fears for his life for a second.
“He’ll kill me for telling you, but I can’t just stand here anymore and watch you two clueless idiots stumbling around and not getting a clue. It’s you, Jared. It’s freaking you, and Jensen is too chicken to tell you,” Chris sighs.
Jared sits down, right where he is. There is no chair, so he hits the tiled kitchen floor and grunts at the impact. There is nothing in his head right now, just Chris’ words and the fact that Jared is an idiot.
He has a chance with Jensen? It’s him Jensen is in love with? Since when? Why? How? Most importantly, Jensen has been going through the same heartaching misery Jared had tworked his way through?
All those questions want to tumble out of his mouth, fly around in his mind, but he never says a single word. He feels sick, dizzy and hot. It’s like a fever is spreading through him and he’s not sure how to stay conscious now.
Then one thought that takes hold, one that makes him swallow hard and almost whimper. Jensen is miserable but Jensen also isn’t the most reliable guy when it comes to relationships.
In the end the question of whether Jared’s willing to let himself be with Jensen when he knows it won’t last long is what makes him open his mouth.
“Oh,” he breathes out and looks up at Chris, who looks a little shocked and maybe a little sorry as well.
“Yeah. Oh. So get your ass up and do something about it. I’m sick of seeing both of you miserable.”
Jared swallows, can’t think about what to do, about the next step, and stays sitting on the floor. He stares at Chris’s shoes for a while, until they move out of his field of vision, and then just at the tiles. He blinks rapidly when Chris sinks down next to him.
“Not what you wanted to hear, huh?” It’s the first time in the ten years he’s known Chris that the other man sounds concerned.
“I just…it's been so long, Chris. Three years now. He never…I didn’t think he’d be interested, and it’s just a bit too much right now. And then he’s not…there's nothing more than just a few weeks with him. Even with Danneel, and he was in love with her. I…I don’t know if I can do that, if I want to do that. Be one of his three months relationships.” Jared doesn’t recognize his own voice, it’s scratchy and small.
Chris nods but doesn’t move away.
“Why do you think he’s so miserable now? He's been hiding from everyone and everything the last two months.”
The last two months? That long?
“God dammit, Jared. I’m gonna kill your boss. This work is seriously screweing wioth your brain and your perception. Yeah, two months, and I think it's been going on for way longer for Jensen, anyway.”
So Chris can read thoughts now as well. How cool.
“Jared?”
“Yeah?”
“Your mouth is faster than your brain again.”
“Oh. Okay. Thanks.”
This whole situation is so surreal that Jared has to giggle about it all. He feels drunk and kind of high. He’s not sure that this is a good state of mind.
“Jen’s afraid, Jared. Afraid that you might think exactly what you're thinking right now. God, he knows you know him, about his way of doing things, and he thinks you’ll never give him a chance anyway.”
Jared blinks again, can’t tell how long he stares at the floor and tries to sort his thoughts. When he looks at Chris, he can tell that his friend knows what will come next.
“I…I don’t know if I can, Chris.”
“I’m sorry, Jared.”
Jensen’s back is the last thing he sees before he’s pulled into a tight hug against Chris’ chest. He’s not registering the sobs until he's soaked half of Chris’ shirt.
Jared’s not even embarrassed about sitting on the kitchen floor and crying into another man’s shoulder. What breaks his heart, though, is the fact that the other man isn’t Jensen.
***
The next few days are awkward and feel stilted.
They don’t actively try to avoid each other, but they also don’t seek each other out. And if they run into each other, they stumble over words, stare at each other and blush like they’ve never done before.
Jared doesn’t have enough words to curse the situation; he doesn’t have any ideas how to resolve it either. He’s been losing sleep over it, and his boss is on his case about badly written notes and missed deadlines (only for a test trials but that’s bad enough already).
Jared feels even more like a zombie than he has during the last few months, and he’s pretty sure that his brain isn’t anywhere close to catching up to the fucked up situation with Jensen. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend, but he also doesn’t know how to behave when Jensen is close.
The fact that he might be allowed to touch is enough to make him recoil and not try anything at all. He’s even reluctant to just smile at Jensen, and it breaks his heart to see the sad one he gets in return when he fails.
And then Jensen does the thing he can do best; he surprises Jared. It’s a 180 degree turn, and Jared is so stunned that he actually blanks out of the conversation for a few minutes.
When he’s back with the world again, Jensen is kneeling in front of him, smirking a little, but concern written all over his face. Green eyes are vibrant, full of life and hope, something Jared realizes he has missed lately.
“So, what’ya think?”
“’bout what?” Jared mumbles, somehow caught in Jensen’s eyes and the way he’s chewing on his lips. He wants to reach out and drag his thumb over the soft-looking flesh. He wants to lean forward and kiss Jensen like he’s always wanted to do. The fact that he could makes his blood boil a little.
Jared’s still reluctant though.
“God, you didn’t really listen, did you?”
“Uhm…I heard the word date.”
Jensen’s blinding smile makes Jared’s heart skip, makes him realize again how much he loves to see Jensen happy and smiling.
“Then you got the important part. Just, go on a date with me. What have we got to lose now? I’ll still be your best friend if it doesn’t work out. I know you…you think it won’t work. But we haven’t even tried it yet and I…I really want to try, Jared.”
There is a second where Jared wants to say yes without thinking about it at all. But then he thinks about what might happen if it really doesn’t work out, and he bites his lip. Jensen sighs, resigned, and nods, tries to get up.
Only when his hand closes around Jensen’s arm does Jared realize he’s moving. He drags Jensen down on the couch next to him and swallows. It’s now or never, and he doesn’t want to see that sad look on Jensen's face again. Can’t stand to think that he’s the reason for it.
“Okay. Just let me think about it, okay? A few days. Just ask me again in a few days. Okay?”
It’s not the smile he wants to see, but it’s a smile nonetheless, and Jared takes it for what it is. A chance.
***
The awkwardness stays between them, only now it’s different. There are deliberate touches now, on both sides. Jared’s not sure when he started to reciprocate but every time he sits close to Jensen, doesn’t shrug his arm off or moves away when Jensen hip checks him, he gets this special smile from Jensen that’s worth everything.
Chris rolls his eyes at them constantly, but Jared doesn’t mind. He knows there has been a huge fight about Chris’ right to talk about Jensen’s private issues, but Jared also knows that things are okay between his roommates.
He and Jensen are dancing around each other again, it’s just a different dance now. A dance where they don’t hide that they're staring at one another, a dance where they don’t shy back and think too much about consequences. There are new moves connected to old, well-known ones. There are steps Jared knows and some he’s never seen before.
There are new sides of Jensen, as well, and Jared realizes that he likes this new Jensen. It’s still the old Jensen that is in love but now he’s trying to get what he really wants. It makes Jared dizzy that he really seems to be the one.
The tension is thick between them, almost touchable, like wall, like something keeping them apart. But Jensen hasn’t asked again, yet.
Jared watches Jensen, raises his eyebrow every time Jensen smirks, and pouts just a little bit when the question doesn’t come. It hangs between them, and when he’s drunk on mulled wine after the office Christmas party, he tells Chris about it.
Chris just laughs in his face and calls it the longest foreplay in history. Jared chokes on his own spit, and Chris ends up carrying him home. Thank God for roommates who work in the same company.
***
It’s the day before Christmas, and Jared’s pretty sure he just lost his job. Telling your boss he can suck himself probably does that to one's employment status. The thing is that Jared doesn’t really care about it.
All Jared cares about is the fact that he just opened his door and found his family standing there. With Jensen right behind them. Oh, and Jensen’s family as well.
“Momma? Dad? What? What’s going on?”
“Well, since you couldn’t come to us over the holidays, we thought we’d come to you. Or, well, Jensen thought it was a good idea to call us and plan a surprise for you.”
“Jensen?” Jared stares, and then he moves. He doesn’t hug his momma or his dad. No, he moves right through and reaches out for Jensen. The hug that follows lasts longer than any of the hugs he ever gave Jensen before, and they both know it means something.
“Thank you. Thank you so much, Jen,” Jared mumbles against warm skin, and it feels like déjà vu, thinking about the tree and how Jensen had done that for him as well.
“Didn’t wanna leave you alone for Christmas. Hope you don’t mind that I dragged my family here as well,” Jensen says, quiet and hopeful. “I… I don’t want to lose you, Jay. I’ll take whatever you're willing to give. If it’s friendship, I’ll do hell not to take it. I don’t know how to convince you that this is different, but I’ll do anything you want me to.”
It’s then that Jared’s able to identify what he’s been feeling for the last few days. He’s already back to being completely gone for his best friend, and right now he can admit that he never was over Jensen, anyway. He can also see that Jensen means everything he’s said and done lately. He believes Jensen, and it makes him grin goofily.
Jensen's answering laughter might be due to being ticklish and Jared’s lips moving against his skin, or it might be that he realized that something clicked in Jared’s head.
“Why me? What did I do to get your attention?” Jared just has to ask. After all those years, after Jensen never looking twice at him, Jared has to know.
They are alone in the hallway now, Jared’s momma having a third sense when it comes to private situations and Jared doesn’t let go of Jensen. Just moves far enough away to be able to look at him.
Cheeks flushes and eyes glimmering like they haven’t been for a while Jensen just shrugs and smiles.
“It has always been you, I guess. Was looking for something and you have been there all the time. Thought I found it in every relationship, just the thrill of being in love was great. After a while it just vanished. But you have always been there… Have been there for me,” Jensen says quietly, almost as if he thinks anything louder than a whisper will destroy the situation.
“It’s just… One day, I cam out of the office, you were slumped down on the coach, sun was coming through window. It’s such a cliché, so damn cheesy and if you repeat it to anyone I’ll kill you. Just.. I think I saw you for the first time again.. after I kind of stopped in high school.”
Jared tries to process it all and gets stuck on one thing.
“High school?”
“Uhm, maybe? I had a little crush on you but you and Milo happened and I didn’t want to risk our friendship. Hey stop looking at me like that. As if you did any better. Tell this is not the same reason you never said anything. I heard you and Chris, you know.”
Jensen doesn’t look smug or annoyed, just a little sad now. Jared knows this feeling just too well.
“So much wasted time then.”
“Yeah. Just, let’s not do it again, huh?” Jensen hugs him again and then drags him into the living room where they join their families and endure the “aww-ing” and “oh-ing” over the beautiful tree. Jared can’t hold back the smirk at Jensen’s full blown blush when he can’t help but tell them all that it’s Jensen’s work alone.
Jared doesn’t have a chance to really talk to Jensen for the rest of the day. He doesn’t mind it, though, because his family is there, Jensen is there, and Jensen’s family as well.
***
Christmas is loud and happy, like it hasn’t been in a while.
In the evening on Christmas Day Jared’s happily stuffed and totally comfortable just sitting on the couch and letting everyone mill around. He needs this time of, needs to come down from the months of hell at work and from all the emotional rollercoaster of the last few days.
His momma and Jensen’s are in the kitchen, preparing eggnog and keeping the sisters busy. Their dads and brothers are in Chris’ studio, watching how things are done. Jared smiles at the thought of them piling around the mixing counter and bombarding Jensen with questions. Oh yeah, they had kidnapped Jensen right after dinner.
Jared hasn’t seen him since.
Jared hasn’t told anybody about the job thing yet, but he thinks he has time now, anyway. And he thinks Jensen will regard those new as another Christmas present. He finds it kind of endearing that Jensen actually is jealous and feels his chest tighten a bit at the thought as well.
Jensen really means it all. Jared’s tempted to believe him, is probably well on his way already. Jared’s still not sure if he’s doing the right thing, but Jensen making this Christmas happen and being his awesome self again makes Jared smile and realize that he’s given in already.
“Hey.”
Jared smiles, pats the free space next to him and snorts when Jensen swings himself over the back of the couch instead of walking around it. It also places Jensen almost directly on Jared’s lap, and he’s not going to complain about it.
“Good Christmas?”
“Yeah. Yes, Jensen. Thank you.” Jared smiles, at the tree and then at Jensen, feels happy when Jensen is looking straight back at him. There is a sparkle in his eyes, and Jared’s breath catches in his throat.
They are close now. So very close, and Jared feels Jensen’s breath on his lips.
“Ask, Jensen. Ask,” Jared sighs against soft skin before their lips meet. The kiss is slow, gentle, loving. Nothing at all like the kisses Jared had imagined for years, and so much more. Jared’s heart jumps, his fingers dragging through Jensen’s hair and pulling him closer.
When they pull apart, neither of them says a word; they just stay close and breathe. They smile and kiss again, and then Jensen grins against Jared’s lips.
“Will you go on a date with me? On New Year’s Eve?”
Jared smiles, happy and not reluctant at all.
“Yes, Jensen. I will go on a date with you. On New Year’s Eve.”
The end.