CM: BigBang 2011
My beautiful art was made by kramskii
Hotch and Reid by ~Krimskii on deviantART
***
Chapter 14
Three weeks later
Morgan stuck his head into the doorway of Hotch´s office as he knocked softly.
“Yes,” Hotch said as he looked up from the paper he was just signing.
“We´re heading out for some food and drinks, kind of a goodbye to Jo. You in?”
“I wish I could, Morgan, but I have to pick up Jack in half an hour,” Hotch said.
Morgan watched him for a few moments before nodding. “Alright, have a good weekend.”
“You too,” Hotch said, but Morgan was already heading down the stairs toward the group waiting for him. Hotch looked through the window, down into the bull pen, as Morgan passed on the information that Hotch wasn´t coming. Jo turned around and headed for Hotch’s office. Hotch stood as she entered.
“I just want to thank you for everything,” she said, smiling and holding out her hand.
“Thank you, it was a pleasure working with you,” Hotch replied and grabbed her hand.
When she didn´t let go of his hand, Hotch raised his eyebrows in question. Her smile turned mischievous. “I heard a rumor,” she said as she let go of his hand.
“A rumor?” Hotch asked, puzzled.
One corner of Jo´s lips curled slyly. “About the Board of Directors offering you Strauss´ chair.”
Completely taken by surprise, Hotch stared at her. “But it´s just a rumor,” he said.
“There are a few runners but you are very high up on the list,” Jo said and grinned. “Bye, Hotch, and thank you for everything.” She turned around, walking out of his office.
“You too,” he said to her back.
He arrived home early with Jack. The rest of the day and evening was spent playing with his son, cooking dinner and tidying up the apartment after their day. A knock on the front door woke him while it was still dark outside and his digital clock on his nightstand confirmed it was a couple of hours after midnight. Another knock had him tensing up and quickly pulling his gun from the safe in the nightstand as he rolled out of bed. He checked on Jack to make sure the noise hadn´t alarmed him but whoever was at the door was relentless because they knocked again. Jack was fast asleep so Hotch hurried to the front door and checked through his peep-hole. He saw Jo leaning against his doorframe, and she raised her hand to knock once more. He opened the door before she could and switched on the light in the living room.
“Oh, good you´re up,” she said and pushed past him into the living room. She smelled of alcohol and Aaron wondered if she was drunk.
“It´s two am, I was sleeping,” he told her and closed the door. He flipped the safety on his gun and put it on the table next to him. She eyed the gun but didn´t comment on it. “What do you need?”
“We can both agree on that I don´t work for you anymore, right?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said.
“And we are sort of friends, right?”
He stared at her, trying to figure out where this conversation was heading.
“Or not,” she continued when he didn´t answer, taking his silence as a negative. “It doesn´t matter. This needs to be said either way.”
“What does?”
“You are the most stubborn, pig-headed and foolish man I´ve ever met,” she said right to his face and he realized she wasn´t as drunk as he thought she was. “And may I remind you that I know David Rossi, who is also all those things,” she mocked. It made him smirk.
“Is that it?” he asked.
“No,” she frowned and raised her voice a bit, “you are also the most pessimistic, downright depressing and stiffest person I´ve ever met.”
“Keep your voice down. Jack is sleeping,” he whispered angrily. Jo looked over her shoulder at the dark hallway and then returned her gaze to him. “Are you done?”
“No, because underneath all of that Spencer sees something he wants but when he finally gathered his courage to do something, you shot him down with one look,” she spat out, in a half whisper.
Drawing in a deep breath, Aaron managed to keep his voice level despite the guilt that he felt. “I don´t see how that is any of your business.”
“It´s my business because you hurt my friend. It´s my business because your behavior tells me you are completely in love with him and yet you´re being a self-centered jerk who´s too afraid of getting his heart broken,” she kept her voice low but the anger was definitely there.
He would never admit the truth in her words. “Agent Davenport, you are out of line,” he told her firmly and glared at her.
“I don´t work for you anymore,” Jo replied, her voice a complete contrast to her hard stare.
“I want you out of my apartment,” Hotch said in a quiet but demanding voice and moved to open the door for her.
“What are you so fucking scared off?” she said, raising her voice.
“Watch your voice,” Hotch growled and took a threatening step toward her. To her credit she didn´t budge and stared at him.
“Is it of getting hurt?” she stated in a lower voice, standing a few steps away from him, “Is it that it might work out or is it because you fell in love with a man?” Aaron moved to answer her, explain it was more complicated than that but she beat him to it. “Don´t give me any crap on how it´s for Jack´s sake or fraternization rules. We both know Spencer would never let you put Jack in second place and nobody on the team gives a damn what you do in your own bedroom as long as you leave it there.” Jo crossed her arms over her chest and waited for his answer.
She was partly right. “It´s not that simple,” he told her quietly. She was right about Jack, the team and the fraternization rules wouldn´t be a problem if they kept it professional at work. But there was also Jess, his mother and the Brooks, to consider.
What if he couldn´t hold on to Spencer any more then he could Haley? What if he made the same mistakes as before and drove Spencer away?
She let out a harsh sigh but kept her eyes on him. “Only because you are making it complicated. You are so focused on the ending that you´re forgetting the middle part. What if the two of you actually work and grow old together?”
Aaron shook his head and clasped his hands together in front of him. They would never work out. “Jo,” he started and raised his eyes to hers. “Don´t you think I´ve -“
A soft knock on the door interrupted him. Aaron turned around and opened the door, revealing Spencer standing in the hallway. Spencer looked disheveled with his sweater unbuttoned and his tie hanging loose and crooked around his neck. He was breathing hard like he´d been running. Aaron´s breath caught as he realized Jo had been right about one thing. He loved him.
“Sorry,” Spencer breathed out and became nervous under Aaron´s stare. He cleared his throat. “Is Jo here?”
A little shaken Aaron broke the gaze and beckoned him inside with his hand.
“Hey, Spence,” Jo sighed, “Are you my ride?”
“Yeah,” Spencer replied, with a hesitant smile.
Jo stood up, walked toward the door and opened it. Spencer stepped outside but Jo stood still before turning and locking her eyes with Aaron´s. “I´m sorry, Hotch,” she said quietly. Aaron raised his eyebrows. “I just think you deserve a little happiness.”
Aaron tried to mask how surprised he was but didn´t quite manage it. When he looked at Spencer, he could the confusion in his eyes as he stared at Jo. Spencer reached for her, but she didn´t spare him a glance as she slowly walked past him with her head bowed.
He met Spencer´s eyes for a moment before Spencer looked away. Aaron knew Spencer had seen the hurt that he was feeling.
“Good night,” the young man whispered as he pulled the door closed behind him.
Grabbing his gun, Aaron walked back to the bedroom and set it in the safety box. He crawled under the covers but his mind was racing. The next few hours were spent tossing and turning as his mind raced around until he finally made a decision.
***
It was around ten am when Aaron stood by the front door and knocked. The door opened slowly and Spencer stood inside and stared at him. He was dressed in a large t-shirt and PJ-pants and seemed to have just woken up. The young man blinked a few time, confused and a bit worried.
“I´m sorry for waking you,” Aaron said. “May I come in?”
“Of course.” Spencer quickly opened the door wider and closed it once Aaron was standing in his living room. Aaron noticed the cup of coffee standing on the counter, but otherwise the apartment was just the way it was the last time he was here. “Would you like some coffee?” Spencer asked and headed for the kitchen, but Aaron grabbed his wrist as he walked by. Stopping abruptly, Spencer looked down at their hands before looking at Aaron, bewildered.
“I´m sorry,” Aaron whispered and looked down at their hands. He slowly turned the other man´s hand until his palm was up and laid his own hand over it. Aaron heard Spencer’s breath catch at the intimate touch. “Can we redo this?” he asked quietly and locked his eyes with Spencer´s.
Spencer swallowed and frowned. “Redo what, exactly?” he asked cautiously.
Aaron took a small step closer. He gently brushed the tip of his fingers along Spencer´s jaw. The stubble was rough under his fingers and Spencer´s eyes widened in surprise.
Leaning forward, Aaron set his lips against Spencer´s and caught the small whimper the other man made. It encouraged him to press further. Aaron’s hand slid to the back of Spencer´s neck as Aaron´s tongue invaded Spencer´s half open mouth. Spencer´s hands fisted themselves in Hotch´s shirt, pulling him closer as Spencer feverishly met Aaron’s tongue with his own. Aaron quickly put his hand around the other man´s waist and closed the gap between their bodies.
“Yes,” Spencer whispered when Aaron broke the kiss to draw in air. Spencer´s long fingers tangled in Aaron’s dark hair only to bring their lips back together. Their teeth clacked as they tried to find the perfect angle but Spencer didn´t seem to care. Spencer´s tongue teased Aaron’s, making Aaron groan as the young man grinded his own hardness against Aaron’s.
Heat surged through Aaron´s body. It made him ache with need and tighten his hold but… oh, hell, he wanted this… but it was too much too soon.
Aaron pulled away and planted a small kiss on the corner of Spencer´s mouth. Spencer leaned into him, kissed down his jaw until he reached the crook of Hotch´s neck. Aaron nuzzled Spencer´s shoulder. He listened to Spencer´s harsh breathing as Spencer planted soft kisses under Aaron´s ear. Pressing their bodies closer, they desperately tried to gain control of themselves.
“Spencer,” Aaron whispered and grinned as he placed another kiss by Spencer´s ear.
“Mmm,” Spencer mumbled.
“Will you go out with me?” Aaron´s smile fell as Spencer tensed in his arms before carefully pulling away and taking a small step back. Spencer´s face was flushed but he met Aaron´s eyes without hesitation. “Spencer?”
“What changed?” Spencer asked hesitantly and loosely crossed his arms over his chest. Aaron knew that Spencer was preparing himself to get hurt again.
Aaron had been expecting that question but hadn´t yet figured out the answer. He looked down at his hands in front of him, trying to collect his thoughts. “Nothing.” He shook his head, that wasn´t true. “Everything,” he said and met Spencer´s eyes.
Spencer looked at him for a moment before averting his eyes in thought and frowning. “I don´t understand?” he said and met Aaron´s eyes again for an explanation.
Wondering how he could explain it. Hotch turned around and took a few steps, unable to admit his weakness standing face to face with Spencer. “I´m just a simple man. I love my son and I try to be as good of a father as I can. I like my job and I´m good at it and I try to do right by the people in my life.” Turning around he looked at Spencer. “But I make mistakes, and usually it´s the people closest to me that pay the price.”
Spencer raised his eyebrows and stared at him knowingly. Aaron knew it hadn´t gone past Spencer that he still blamed himself for what happened to Haley.
“You always put everyone else above yourself and have a solid reason for your actions. Your rational thinking is one of the things I admire about you,” Spencer said and met Aaron´s eyes with a soft smile.
The compliment warmed him and gave him a little bit of hope. “I´m willing to try, Spencer. That´s all I can offer. I gave Haley everything I had and it wasn´t enough for her, but you have to decide if it´s enough for you.”
Silence filled the room. Spencer looked away and set his hands in the pockets of his PJs. ”Anna told me once: Relationships aren´t easy. They are hard work and demand compromises that we aren´t always willing to make, but you do them for the sake of your loved ones.” Spencer raised his eyes to his and Aaron saw the longing and caution in them.
Aaron took a step closer. “She´s right,” he said cautiously.
“I know,” Spencer said and tried to hold back a smirk.
Closing the space between them, Aaron touched the young man´s cheek. “So, you think we should try this?” Aaron said hopeful. He closed the space between them and touched the young man´s cheek.
Spencer leaned into the touch. “Yes.”
Hotch claimed Spencer´s lips in a soft kiss and chuckled softly when Spencer smiled against them. Spencer laid his hand against the back of Hotch´s head, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. Aaron had a feeling everything would work itself out with this person by his side.
-End