Regrets
Title: Regrets
Pairing: George/Alex with mentions of Alex/Izzie
Word Count: 574
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete
Summary: Post S5 - Alex has regrets.
PLEASE REVIEW!
Izzie was alive.
O’Malley was dead.
George was dead.
Alex knew he should have been gluing himself to Izzie’s side. His wife had almost died, hell, she had died. But he couldn’t look at her, each time he did, all he saw was a memory of her best friend.
“I think I’m falling in love with you.”
He pressed himself against the outer wall of the hospital, clothes catching against the weathered concrete as he slid to the ground. Right in this second, he hated himself.
He’d been the one to end whatever it was he and George had. Meredith had asked a question about the time they were spending together and, fuck, he knew it was a joke, but he’d gotten scared. He didn’t have the courage to be out and proud. He could do damn near anything else, but he couldn’t come out of the closet.
Fucking coward.
He hadn’t even offered George an explanation.
“Hey,” George whispered, closing the door of the on-call room behind him and locking it. He lowered himself to his knees beside the bottom bunk, kissing Alex’s clothed shoulder.
Alex kept his back to him, face pressed into the pillow. God, he didn’t want to do this.
A hand on his hip.
“Alex?”
“Get out.”
“W-what?”
“I said, get out.” His eyes clenched shut.
“Alex, I-”
A snort. “What? You love me? Is that what you were going to say? Well, save it. I don’t. How could I love you? Really? It was a fuck, O’Malley, a few mediocre fucks.”
Months worth of sex that had made him feel so…
The door clicked shut and Alex looked over his shoulder. The room was empty. George was gone.
He bit his lip, burying his face back into the pillow. “I’m sorry.”
Now, George was dead.
He couldn’t bring the tears to rise. It was like he’d cried himself dry when Izzie had flat lined. George had deserved better than some guy that couldn’t even cry for him, deserved better than some guy that was so scared to come out that he’d faked his way into a hetero marriage. He loved Izzie, just not in the way…
Not in the way he loved George.
Fuck.
He pressed his forehead to his knees, shoulders shaking in silent sobs as he hid from the rest of the world. He sat there for what felt like hours, turning himself into a quivering mess with barely a look heavenward as the skies opened up and the rain began to fall.
A hand touched his shoulder and he nearly screamed at the shock, springing away from the touch. He saw the hand that had touched him and followed the arm to…
No.
It wasn’t possible.
“Hey,” George said, eyes soft.
George.
“You weren’t down there when everyone figured out…Meredith got it wrong. The guy wasn’t me. I was over at Joe’s.”
Alex raised himself onto his haunches, one hand laying itself on George’s cheek. The skin felt cool from the rain, but he could feel the hot breath brushing against his wrist.
George.
Alive.
He sprang forward, lips catching George’s in a kiss that knocked the air from his lungs. They hit the ground, lips melding together and tongues searching for contact instead of battling for dominance.
He should be with Izzie right now. She was probably wondering where he was.
But George was alive.
He’d take care of the rest later.
The End
Pairing: George/Alex with mentions of Alex/Izzie
Word Count: 574
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete
Summary: Post S5 - Alex has regrets.
PLEASE REVIEW!
Izzie was alive.
O’Malley was dead.
George was dead.
Alex knew he should have been gluing himself to Izzie’s side. His wife had almost died, hell, she had died. But he couldn’t look at her, each time he did, all he saw was a memory of her best friend.
“I think I’m falling in love with you.”
He pressed himself against the outer wall of the hospital, clothes catching against the weathered concrete as he slid to the ground. Right in this second, he hated himself.
He’d been the one to end whatever it was he and George had. Meredith had asked a question about the time they were spending together and, fuck, he knew it was a joke, but he’d gotten scared. He didn’t have the courage to be out and proud. He could do damn near anything else, but he couldn’t come out of the closet.
Fucking coward.
He hadn’t even offered George an explanation.
“Hey,” George whispered, closing the door of the on-call room behind him and locking it. He lowered himself to his knees beside the bottom bunk, kissing Alex’s clothed shoulder.
Alex kept his back to him, face pressed into the pillow. God, he didn’t want to do this.
A hand on his hip.
“Alex?”
“Get out.”
“W-what?”
“I said, get out.” His eyes clenched shut.
“Alex, I-”
A snort. “What? You love me? Is that what you were going to say? Well, save it. I don’t. How could I love you? Really? It was a fuck, O’Malley, a few mediocre fucks.”
Months worth of sex that had made him feel so…
The door clicked shut and Alex looked over his shoulder. The room was empty. George was gone.
He bit his lip, burying his face back into the pillow. “I’m sorry.”
Now, George was dead.
He couldn’t bring the tears to rise. It was like he’d cried himself dry when Izzie had flat lined. George had deserved better than some guy that couldn’t even cry for him, deserved better than some guy that was so scared to come out that he’d faked his way into a hetero marriage. He loved Izzie, just not in the way…
Not in the way he loved George.
Fuck.
He pressed his forehead to his knees, shoulders shaking in silent sobs as he hid from the rest of the world. He sat there for what felt like hours, turning himself into a quivering mess with barely a look heavenward as the skies opened up and the rain began to fall.
A hand touched his shoulder and he nearly screamed at the shock, springing away from the touch. He saw the hand that had touched him and followed the arm to…
No.
It wasn’t possible.
“Hey,” George said, eyes soft.
George.
“You weren’t down there when everyone figured out…Meredith got it wrong. The guy wasn’t me. I was over at Joe’s.”
Alex raised himself onto his haunches, one hand laying itself on George’s cheek. The skin felt cool from the rain, but he could feel the hot breath brushing against his wrist.
George.
Alive.
He sprang forward, lips catching George’s in a kiss that knocked the air from his lungs. They hit the ground, lips melding together and tongues searching for contact instead of battling for dominance.
He should be with Izzie right now. She was probably wondering where he was.
But George was alive.
He’d take care of the rest later.
The End