i am alive :)
i'm getting really bad with keeping up these journals. i'm so used to writing in my diary every night, you would think i'd be able to keep a simple online journal when i'm at the computer half the time anyway.
the workload at school has definitely increased, i'm getting at least 4 essays a week to do now, sometimes more, but i'm trying to keep up with it. i've handed all my work in on time so far this year, which is pretty good.
why is it that all i can think about these days is boys. well, one boy in particular. the boy in my form that i've known for years, that i fancied for 3 years before. gosh. this is the conversation between one of my friends and him whilst they were in art class together (not word for word as i wouldn't know):
my friend: one of my mates fancies you
boy: it's [insert my name here]
he wouldn't say how he knew it was me. i'm guessing it's because he knows i used to fancy him a couple of years back, and i have been trying to make conversation with him in form recently.
my friend: what do you think about it all?
boy: idunno *shruggs*
i don't even know what i felt like when i found out about that conversation, and the fact he already knew. gosh, how long has he known?? i feel like such a fool! the worst thing is, i was planning on talking to him about it the day after, but the form class was completely quiet, like nobody was talking, and i really didn't want the whole class listening in to my conversation! so i thought, right i'll talk to him about it today (that was this morning), but he wasn't in form! is this some sort of sign trying to tell me to not talk to him about it?!
all i wanna say is; oh, i heard about your art class on monday, you're not freaked out are you? and if he actually responds in any way, shape or form then i might ask how he already knew. but he sounds like my ex, in the lack-of-confidence-with-girls department. i really can't see why, there's at least 2 other girls that really fancy him. he's so amazing.
right, i'll shut up about him now.
i have spanish all tomorrow morning, and for once i'm not dreading it that much. i suppose it's always a laugh. there's only 7 of us in the lesson and we all know each other pretty well, apart from the one girl that never talks at all, she's way too shy, even though we try to invite her into our conversations. and it's weird to think that she used to be one of my close friends, and now we don't even talk.
i've decided to apply for the position of senior student at 6th form, i'm not quite sure what it entails, but i would get recognition at least, but not too much. i just want to be known for doing something, to make up for all the previous years when nobody has really known me.. hopefully i'll get it! i think i stand a pretty good chance as the head of 6th form is also my psychology teacher and knows me more than some of the other students.
i'm in a good mood now, writing this must have helped :)
the workload at school has definitely increased, i'm getting at least 4 essays a week to do now, sometimes more, but i'm trying to keep up with it. i've handed all my work in on time so far this year, which is pretty good.
why is it that all i can think about these days is boys. well, one boy in particular. the boy in my form that i've known for years, that i fancied for 3 years before. gosh. this is the conversation between one of my friends and him whilst they were in art class together (not word for word as i wouldn't know):
my friend: one of my mates fancies you
boy: it's [insert my name here]
he wouldn't say how he knew it was me. i'm guessing it's because he knows i used to fancy him a couple of years back, and i have been trying to make conversation with him in form recently.
my friend: what do you think about it all?
boy: idunno *shruggs*
i don't even know what i felt like when i found out about that conversation, and the fact he already knew. gosh, how long has he known?? i feel like such a fool! the worst thing is, i was planning on talking to him about it the day after, but the form class was completely quiet, like nobody was talking, and i really didn't want the whole class listening in to my conversation! so i thought, right i'll talk to him about it today (that was this morning), but he wasn't in form! is this some sort of sign trying to tell me to not talk to him about it?!
all i wanna say is; oh, i heard about your art class on monday, you're not freaked out are you? and if he actually responds in any way, shape or form then i might ask how he already knew. but he sounds like my ex, in the lack-of-confidence-with-girls department. i really can't see why, there's at least 2 other girls that really fancy him. he's so amazing.
right, i'll shut up about him now.
i have spanish all tomorrow morning, and for once i'm not dreading it that much. i suppose it's always a laugh. there's only 7 of us in the lesson and we all know each other pretty well, apart from the one girl that never talks at all, she's way too shy, even though we try to invite her into our conversations. and it's weird to think that she used to be one of my close friends, and now we don't even talk.
i've decided to apply for the position of senior student at 6th form, i'm not quite sure what it entails, but i would get recognition at least, but not too much. i just want to be known for doing something, to make up for all the previous years when nobody has really known me.. hopefully i'll get it! i think i stand a pretty good chance as the head of 6th form is also my psychology teacher and knows me more than some of the other students.
i'm in a good mood now, writing this must have helped :)