yes it's another whiney emo entry.....kill me if you want
It's weird to be able to see your entire life begin to fall apart in a single moment. I mean, sure, life's sucked before, no suprise, but to see literally everything fall apart. It's surreal.
First off, I just found out that due to my mother's extreme obsession with robotics, she has single handidly ruined my position on night crew. And what, you might ask, is Lady's suggestion to this? Usher. Like my freshman year. I'm so fucking pissed I can barely see straight.
Second: It's official. My brother is doing everything in his power to fuck up his life. For some unknown reason, he just can't get things together. And yes, I am aware he's doing this to himself, but it still kills me to see him ruining his entire future.
On top of that: For some reason this year, I just can't seem to be able to handle anything. In the past, I tended to take things in stride. When some big huge problem entered, I dealt with it and moved on. Now, I see my grades slipping, relationships so strained that they're gonna break at any moment, and my family crumbling with no one willing to take the necessary steps to make it better. And I know, chalk it all up to junior year stress. But when it comes to me, I have the tendency to react to bad situations in a way that makes them 17000 times worse. Don't waste your breath, I'm already well aware of the fact that I'm the one in control of it; I can choose to do it or not do it, but unless you've been there, you can't understand the struggle that goes on.
And right now, I'm supposed to be comadeering this lil campaign at marian that's just gonna end up getting me in a shitload of trouble if I don't handle it with the perfect amount of discrepency. Yes, it's something I care about deeply, yes I see it as worth all this effort and risk, and yes it's more stress that I really shouldn't try to deal with but of course, I'm me, so I'll take it on.
It's at this point that I'm told by some to talk things through with Dr Sutton, that this is the perfect opportunity to take advantage of the fact that I have someone that is paid to listen to me whine. And that means it's the perfect opportunity to inform you all that would suggest this that it doesn't work like that; that I can't give her any sort of concrete problem, due to the fact that it would just bring to light the fact that I actually DO need to be in therapy, a fact I've been desperately attempting to run away from for years. Jesus, things need to change.
"Someone tell me why so many people bleed."
First off, I just found out that due to my mother's extreme obsession with robotics, she has single handidly ruined my position on night crew. And what, you might ask, is Lady's suggestion to this? Usher. Like my freshman year. I'm so fucking pissed I can barely see straight.
Second: It's official. My brother is doing everything in his power to fuck up his life. For some unknown reason, he just can't get things together. And yes, I am aware he's doing this to himself, but it still kills me to see him ruining his entire future.
On top of that: For some reason this year, I just can't seem to be able to handle anything. In the past, I tended to take things in stride. When some big huge problem entered, I dealt with it and moved on. Now, I see my grades slipping, relationships so strained that they're gonna break at any moment, and my family crumbling with no one willing to take the necessary steps to make it better. And I know, chalk it all up to junior year stress. But when it comes to me, I have the tendency to react to bad situations in a way that makes them 17000 times worse. Don't waste your breath, I'm already well aware of the fact that I'm the one in control of it; I can choose to do it or not do it, but unless you've been there, you can't understand the struggle that goes on.
And right now, I'm supposed to be comadeering this lil campaign at marian that's just gonna end up getting me in a shitload of trouble if I don't handle it with the perfect amount of discrepency. Yes, it's something I care about deeply, yes I see it as worth all this effort and risk, and yes it's more stress that I really shouldn't try to deal with but of course, I'm me, so I'll take it on.
It's at this point that I'm told by some to talk things through with Dr Sutton, that this is the perfect opportunity to take advantage of the fact that I have someone that is paid to listen to me whine. And that means it's the perfect opportunity to inform you all that would suggest this that it doesn't work like that; that I can't give her any sort of concrete problem, due to the fact that it would just bring to light the fact that I actually DO need to be in therapy, a fact I've been desperately attempting to run away from for years. Jesus, things need to change.
"Someone tell me why so many people bleed."