(no subject)
ok so yea im kinda pissed today...i was suppose to go to a club with some friends...yea never happend...there car was full and no way for me to get in...so yea...i was pissed...all i have been doing all day is culinary stuff for my portfloio...and i was happy yesterday, i got 4 of my pictures of me on the job and stuff i have made...so that made me happy..also i found a report card of all my classes since i was a freshmen...which was like 2 years ago lol...so like i was saying i have been working on it all day...and at the last document...the printer starts being gay...i was so pissed it is the final thing i have to do and, no! it dosent wanna work...wtf is up with that? i am so pissed at my printer...so on a happier note i dont know if im gonna move back down to portland maybe i might just finishing my schooling here and come back in another year...but if i stay here...when i turn 18 im gone i dont wanna be here...so yea the whole reason behind this is that, is there really a point to come back? dj might be moving away...tricia will be there...jazzy *i still like alot, and i want to tell her but i dont know how tricia will react*...so yea its like everything i have ever had is falling apart...GOD GIVE ME A FUCKING SIGN!...grr...god damit....ok everyone for this post tell me and help me out...give me reasons to come back...reason to care, please everyone who reads this if you know me or you dont give me some help please...i just wanna break down and cry but i dont...i have more pride than that...and its not the whole only girls cry or anything like that i have always had my emotions inside...the problem with me is that im not very good explaining my feelings so if anyone has any questions about my emotions and how i really feel...write me...berzerkr4u@hotmail.com anyone can help..............so on a fucking happier note...i am still looking for a job...its going pretty good...two places might be looking to hire me...which kicks ass...and my reputation as a chef is going around so more girls are starting to like me...and i feel popular...*which i am, oh baby*...so yea my life as a cook is going good...i feel like i am actually completing something in my life...people are talking to me...my life as a chef is going good but i strive to be better...and i will be better...even though i am one of the best...and i have an important annoucement...ok i have noticed that like everything i do come back to me being gay in some way...and even though i am not gay...i will say that i am bi...which makes since so i have a reason to be gay in someway lol...and it kinda makes since because im not like normal guys i am really feminine...so yea...for now on im bi...even though i will NEVER! have sex with a man...unless im drunk and i think its a girl *hey it has almost happend once, long story dont ask*...so yea this is exacty how i am feeling...and i feel alot better now :)....peace all i love you all