"I never thought i'd see the day : That we honestly could say : We stand five against the world..."
"...And the doors are open : Through all those years : I
would've died to be right here : I never thought of backing down : With
one chance to make a sound : So we'll take our chance right now : These
are the days we will remember : These are the days we will remember :
And these are the days we won't forget : These are the days we won't
forget : These are the times we've shared : These are the promises
we've made : These are the days : Revolution dead and gone : Still
integrity holds strong : We stand five against the odds : And rise
through it all : Relentless form and dedication carried on : We stand
tall and won't back down : With one chance to make a sound : So we'll
take our chance right now : These are the days we will remember : These
are the days we will remember : And these are the days we won't forget
: These are the days we won't forget : These are the times we've shared
: These are the promises we've made : These are the days : That we
won't forget : Yah we carry on convictions : Learning as we go : Living
out the only life we know : These are the days we will remember : These
are the days we will remember : And these are the days we won't forget
: These are the days we won't forget : These are the times we've shared
: These are the promises we've made : These are the days : WE WON'T
FORGET : WE WON'T FORGET..."
i'm growing up. i realized that [yet again]. & i am scared. "real life" is creeping over my shoulder and i am not ready. it's my fault. there's a lot i could do. i think the first step would over the nerves i get when i have to make a phone call to someone i don't know [order food, make an appointment]. that is so childish. i need to grow up. i am going to head back to allegan at the end of the summer and make some mad cash (hopefully) so i can afford GVSU. living at home probably isn't a good start to growing up, but in order to pay for my education, i guess it's what i'll do... and it doesn't help i love my mom, mike, and our new house surrounded by the allegan woods. i have no idea where i am going to go with this entry. there's been a lot on my mind and not enough time to sit, relax, and think about it.
selfish. that's me. i'm #1. put myself first. i know that's not all that bad. giving myself to everyone and then taking everything for myself hasn't gone over so well. i need to find a happy medium where i can make the ones that truly care about me happy, but also do enough to make me happy as well. i've been working on it this week and i've noticed a difference. the world doesn't revolve around one person. that's not the way it should be. i am going to work on it. i shouldn't have to make an effort, but i figure if i'm not happy how things are working out i have to do something about it. i'm horrible at returning calls and setting definite dates on making plans. that doesn't really show i care. damn. i want to apologize, but i won't. i'm just going to show the change. i'm planning to write my grandma morrissett today. i sent zac and telly 2 envelopes in the past 3 days. i slacked off during break. i am so disappointed in myself about that. here they are in a place unfamilair to them, not completely welcome, occassional internet access, phone calls, and letters. they are not home. they are around their 'army buddies' [i dont know if that's a right term]. their family and friends aren't there. i won't let myself forget about those brave fellas and how they have more balls then i ever will [not just because i'm a female]. on that note i would like to point out how angry i get when people talk badly about the soldiers. it really upsets me...maybe it's because now i can put a face on the soldiers that are over there and i know it's not their choice. maybe in a sense, yeah, they joined, but they didn't voulnteer to do what they are doing. they are brave, caring, and people i care about. they deserve respect.
wow, that last part came out of nowhere.
i've been feeling a little uninformed, ignorant, and not where i would like to be intellectually. yes, i have been reading , writing, and listening to musice more, but that's not enough. i want to know. i have also realized that the internet and television has a lot to do with that. i want to take a walk downtown GR, go to a musuem, see a foreign film, go to a piano bar, see a symphony play, spend time at a theatrical play, see a street performer, enjoy an art institute... i can't do that if i'm locking myself away with my computer and tv. i think i will make a list and see what i can do.
spending time in my diversity in the us angers me. i watched a movie "shadow of hate" and i got so mad. lynching = family entertainment. japanese put in endearment camps. henry ford owning 'the dearborne press' which he used to promote his anti-semite beliefs. would be goveners basing their campaign on racism and promoting discriminating against african americans. african american polticians blaming the jewish faith. it's an endless cycle. it has really opened my eyes, i cannot wait to see what else this class has in store.
i should start wrapping up because i have sociology at one.
i am really excited for this weekend:
+ party at the boys' on sibley street...tonight
+ [hopefully] board games with my mom... tomorrow afternoon
+ melissa kay's birthday party.... tomorrow night
+ story of the year concert... sunday!
i'm growing up. i realized that [yet again]. & i am scared. "real life" is creeping over my shoulder and i am not ready. it's my fault. there's a lot i could do. i think the first step would over the nerves i get when i have to make a phone call to someone i don't know [order food, make an appointment]. that is so childish. i need to grow up. i am going to head back to allegan at the end of the summer and make some mad cash (hopefully) so i can afford GVSU. living at home probably isn't a good start to growing up, but in order to pay for my education, i guess it's what i'll do... and it doesn't help i love my mom, mike, and our new house surrounded by the allegan woods. i have no idea where i am going to go with this entry. there's been a lot on my mind and not enough time to sit, relax, and think about it.
selfish. that's me. i'm #1. put myself first. i know that's not all that bad. giving myself to everyone and then taking everything for myself hasn't gone over so well. i need to find a happy medium where i can make the ones that truly care about me happy, but also do enough to make me happy as well. i've been working on it this week and i've noticed a difference. the world doesn't revolve around one person. that's not the way it should be. i am going to work on it. i shouldn't have to make an effort, but i figure if i'm not happy how things are working out i have to do something about it. i'm horrible at returning calls and setting definite dates on making plans. that doesn't really show i care. damn. i want to apologize, but i won't. i'm just going to show the change. i'm planning to write my grandma morrissett today. i sent zac and telly 2 envelopes in the past 3 days. i slacked off during break. i am so disappointed in myself about that. here they are in a place unfamilair to them, not completely welcome, occassional internet access, phone calls, and letters. they are not home. they are around their 'army buddies' [i dont know if that's a right term]. their family and friends aren't there. i won't let myself forget about those brave fellas and how they have more balls then i ever will [not just because i'm a female]. on that note i would like to point out how angry i get when people talk badly about the soldiers. it really upsets me...maybe it's because now i can put a face on the soldiers that are over there and i know it's not their choice. maybe in a sense, yeah, they joined, but they didn't voulnteer to do what they are doing. they are brave, caring, and people i care about. they deserve respect.
wow, that last part came out of nowhere.
i've been feeling a little uninformed, ignorant, and not where i would like to be intellectually. yes, i have been reading , writing, and listening to musice more, but that's not enough. i want to know. i have also realized that the internet and television has a lot to do with that. i want to take a walk downtown GR, go to a musuem, see a foreign film, go to a piano bar, see a symphony play, spend time at a theatrical play, see a street performer, enjoy an art institute... i can't do that if i'm locking myself away with my computer and tv. i think i will make a list and see what i can do.
spending time in my diversity in the us angers me. i watched a movie "shadow of hate" and i got so mad. lynching = family entertainment. japanese put in endearment camps. henry ford owning 'the dearborne press' which he used to promote his anti-semite beliefs. would be goveners basing their campaign on racism and promoting discriminating against african americans. african american polticians blaming the jewish faith. it's an endless cycle. it has really opened my eyes, i cannot wait to see what else this class has in store.
i should start wrapping up because i have sociology at one.
i am really excited for this weekend:
+ party at the boys' on sibley street...tonight
+ [hopefully] board games with my mom... tomorrow afternoon
+ melissa kay's birthday party.... tomorrow night
+ story of the year concert... sunday!