(no subject)
I'm starting to fall harder and I'm afraid.
All I feel is afraid.
So many things are changing so fast. I not want Shruti to leave me. I know she's not leaving me, but I just don't want her to leave to live in a new place. I'm not ready for the trip to move her down there. And I'm definitely not ready for the trip back without her. I'm so terrified about how sad I'm going to be.
I'm afraid I'll never get to tell mom about Danny. That I'll never be able to have a real relationship unless I either move away or they both pass away.
I understand that good things can come when you step outside your comfort zone but I don't know that I have the courage to jump head first just yet. I've spent my whole life waiting and now I'm almost 29.
I have so much that I wish I did differently.
I can't breathe some days.
All I feel is afraid.
So many things are changing so fast. I not want Shruti to leave me. I know she's not leaving me, but I just don't want her to leave to live in a new place. I'm not ready for the trip to move her down there. And I'm definitely not ready for the trip back without her. I'm so terrified about how sad I'm going to be.
I'm afraid I'll never get to tell mom about Danny. That I'll never be able to have a real relationship unless I either move away or they both pass away.
I understand that good things can come when you step outside your comfort zone but I don't know that I have the courage to jump head first just yet. I've spent my whole life waiting and now I'm almost 29.
I have so much that I wish I did differently.
I can't breathe some days.