Pardon the angry tone :)
A few days ago, I posted that I hated the song "Baby, it's cold outside." (See here, I think)
My roommate and a friend pointed out that the impression of the song is that they're just joking around, that
(a) They probably know eachother if she's there having a drink. And she didn't seem to really want to leave, just making excuses not saying she wants to leave.
(b) that she's just being coy.
I initially didn't accept that as meaning that I should be comfortable with the song, though I decided that fine, there are good reasons to take it as innocent.
Then I considered it some more. If they know eachother, they've dated before, she's drinking at his place, well... no still means no.
In response to (a): Date rape is date rape. It implies knowing the person. Also, she definitely says, at the beginning, that she has to go. Is pressuring someone to have stay and have sex date rape? If she doesn't want to have sex but feels like he'll break up with her or not love her if she doesn't, then yes. Even if they're not going to have sex in the song, it's still emotionally manipulative.
(b): Sometimes people are coy. That's fine. But she protests an awful lot.
So really... while I don't think someone decided to write a song about date rape, this kind of thing happens to people. I've been in that situation. Saying no, or not being around him means that you don't love him, and so he won't love you. That's emotionally manipulative bullshit, and it happens. So even if this song's couple is innocent, if this kind of thing happens -- it's not innocent and the woman doesn't really want to stay -- and it DOES happen, I'm not comfortable with a song about it.
I don't care how old the song is. Typically people discard old things when they see that they're broken, not keep them around because, aww, how nice, date rape.
That said... I understand the point of view that doesn't agree with me, and I don't think they are promoting emotionally manipulative relationships (Although I think this song does, and support of this song is therefore questionable, but good intentions and my interpretation are different things :). But even so, I'll never be able to listen to that song without getting sick to my stomach.
Brought up because I was discussing this with my mother, so it came up in my thoughts again.
My roommate and a friend pointed out that the impression of the song is that they're just joking around, that
(a) They probably know eachother if she's there having a drink. And she didn't seem to really want to leave, just making excuses not saying she wants to leave.
(b) that she's just being coy.
I initially didn't accept that as meaning that I should be comfortable with the song, though I decided that fine, there are good reasons to take it as innocent.
Then I considered it some more. If they know eachother, they've dated before, she's drinking at his place, well... no still means no.
In response to (a): Date rape is date rape. It implies knowing the person. Also, she definitely says, at the beginning, that she has to go. Is pressuring someone to have stay and have sex date rape? If she doesn't want to have sex but feels like he'll break up with her or not love her if she doesn't, then yes. Even if they're not going to have sex in the song, it's still emotionally manipulative.
(b): Sometimes people are coy. That's fine. But she protests an awful lot.
So really... while I don't think someone decided to write a song about date rape, this kind of thing happens to people. I've been in that situation. Saying no, or not being around him means that you don't love him, and so he won't love you. That's emotionally manipulative bullshit, and it happens. So even if this song's couple is innocent, if this kind of thing happens -- it's not innocent and the woman doesn't really want to stay -- and it DOES happen, I'm not comfortable with a song about it.
I don't care how old the song is. Typically people discard old things when they see that they're broken, not keep them around because, aww, how nice, date rape.
That said... I understand the point of view that doesn't agree with me, and I don't think they are promoting emotionally manipulative relationships (Although I think this song does, and support of this song is therefore questionable, but good intentions and my interpretation are different things :). But even so, I'll never be able to listen to that song without getting sick to my stomach.
Brought up because I was discussing this with my mother, so it came up in my thoughts again.