Cold Dread [MinYoon ANGST Drabble]
Cold dread seeping into his fingertips, piercing into his chest. Thoughts running a mile a minute, catching up to the speed of his heartbeats. Guts twisted upside down, bile rising just to form a lump in his throat, but never enough to spill out of his mouth. Like the words that refuse to show, tasting bitter at the tip of his tongue.
His hands shook, and he felt like a leaf quivering in the wind before the fall. He tried keeping himself together, only long enough to break apart in the soft mattress of his bed.
Disappointment as his pillow, frustration as his blanket. The darkness of the room was a perfect visual of the storm that is his being.
He ran calloused fingers across his head, nails digging into his scalp. He tossed and turned, a futile attempt at shrugging all the guilt away as it clung to every inch of him.
Song Mino buried himself further in the sheets, embarrassment eating at his soul.
Regret is one powerful foe.
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He wanted to absorb all of his pain. He wanted to kiss away every ache. He wanted to find some reset button to undo this day like it was some distant, fucked-up nightmare.
Tears welled up in his eyes at the sight of someone so strong, broken so quickly, so silently.
Without a fight, he sinks, slipping between the gaps of his palms.
Kang Seungyoon tried so hard to bite back a sob.
He looked like an empty shell, lifeless and used, gutted out and bruised. He closed his eyes but it didn't erase the image of him, of his still silhouette in the middle of his bed.
He approached him gently, careful as if he believed he'd dissolve into nothingness at one wrong move. At every step he took, he felt gravity increase tenfold. But how could he dare come to him if he himself wasn't as stable and strong as he needed?
He climbed into his bed, eyes tracing the broad lines of his back. His breaths were too deep to be crying, too shallow to be sleeping.
He was awake.
But he wasn't here.
He wasn't sure how far he was from him.
Be strong. He reaches out, praying to all the gods that he won't just pass through him. Be brave.He settles on his shoulder, willing his hand not to shake, not to surrender to the fear wrecking his system.
Don't fade. A tear falls. And he caves, wrapping him in his embrace as tight as he can.
He holds him, pressing his face to his nape to muffle his cries. He seeks for his hand and clutches it close, believing it will keep all his pieces intact.
He wanted to absorb all of his pain. He wanted to kiss away every ache. He wanted to find some reset button to undo this day like it was some distant nightmare.
I love you. I love you. I love you. He chants in his head, sealing every phrase like a promise, with desperate kisses on his skin.
I'll always be with you.
I just need you to be with me, too.
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This too, shall pass.
Come out stronger and wiser.
Our Song Mino.