Perhaps I did not describe the issue clearly enough......as I said, I do not care what he does, so long as he is willing to put the effort in to do it well. That's my concern. He seems, based upon our discussions, to be looking for a fighting style that is nice and easy and each thing we talk about, once he realizes that its going to require effort on his part, he turns away from and looks for something else without even giving it a chance.
Alex says "I want to do Youth Combat" I say, "OK, let's do Youth Combat"
After a little while of doing Youth Combat, Alex says, "I don't want to do this anymore because I don't have the stamina."
I say, "OK, let's work on your stamina" Alex says, "No, I think I want to try something else" I say, "OK" and redistribute his armor
At the last event, Alex says, "I spoke with Don whatshisface and he says that I can do fencing"
I say, "Cool" and we discuss what it takes for fencing armor. Alex gets a downcast look and drops it.
And the same happens with archery.
As far as I am concerned, he can do any or all of these activities but he has to be willing to put in the practice.....and he doesn't seem to want to.
I knew where you were coming from on this. My point is that if it's a case of not wanting to sweat, there are non-sweaty things to do. Is the issue that he wants to be an instant master of something, or is it that he tries things and decides it doesn't interest him enough to justify the effort? When I was starting in the SCA I was older than Alex is now, but had the "instant master" delusion - lots of people do, because you see somebody make it look easy and you assume it's easy. Later I just didn't keep an interest in anything I picked up. I do think it's interesting that you keep saying you don't care what he does, but all of your examples are fighting. And I think you might be fulfilling your own prophecies. You say that when Alex comes to you with a new interest you "discuss what it's going to take" to do it and he gets discouraged. If there are so few kids in the area, why redistribute the armor so quickly? It's not like the stuff goes stale (well, armor might - some of mine has turned green), and he might pick it up again. Meanwhile, just let him hang out and watch if that's his thing.
Alex says "I want to do Youth Combat"
I say, "OK, let's do Youth Combat"
After a little while of doing Youth Combat, Alex says, "I don't want to do this anymore because I don't have the stamina."
I say, "OK, let's work on your stamina"
Alex says, "No, I think I want to try something else"
I say, "OK" and redistribute his armor
At the last event, Alex says, "I spoke with Don whatshisface and he says that I can do fencing"
I say, "Cool" and we discuss what it takes for fencing armor.
Alex gets a downcast look and drops it.
And the same happens with archery.
As far as I am concerned, he can do any or all of these activities but he has to be willing to put in the practice.....and he doesn't seem to want to.
This concerns me.....
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His tendency is, as I said, to seek out something that sounds easy...not to see someone make something look easy.
Its a character trait that reveals itself in a number of aspects of life for him, its just been most obvious in his SCA "life"
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