Advice PLEASE!
Well, the Dany situation hasn't improved at all. In fact, it's gotten much worse. I think it we may be splitting up...
See, Dany and I are planning on moving out at the end of June. Because most rental places make you pay the first months rent and a deposit up front, we would need to save some money to move out. On top of all of that Dany needs to pay last month's and this month's car insurance (which ends up totaling over $200), he needs to get his car fixed, he needs to buy a new tire, and he needs to get his GED (it costs like $60 to take the test). It's already June 9th and he has accomplished NONE of this and he hasn't saved a dime towards moving out. I had about $30 saved, but I let him borrow it. He's supposed to pay me back sometime...
Anyhow, today one of the tires on his car blew out and he has to buy a new one. He asked to borrow my car so that he could go to the bank. I assumed that he was going to go to the bank and get money for a new tire. But no. He went to the bank and got money out to buy an $85 pedal for his bass guitar. And if that wasn't bad enough, he lied to me about it. The price tag on the box that the pedal came in read $79.99, but he told me that he only had to pay $45 because they matched some other place's price. I believed him, like an idiot. But it started raining so I went out to my car to roll up the windows and idiot-head Dany had left the receipt in my car sitting on the passenger's seat. Needless to say, I was furious. I was more angry about the money and more hurt about the dishonesty.
So I confronted him about it and he continued lying, but eventually he fessed up. He said that he lied to me because he didn't want to listen to me bitch, which is a really lame excuse. We're engaged to be married! He shouldn't lie to me to spare my feelings. Honesty is part of being in a relationship. He should have told me about it even if he knew I would get upset! It's his responsibility as my 'spouse' to be honest with me!
Anyway, at one point in the argument he said, "You sure didn't bitch at me when I bought you your engagement ring!" I was hurt. I told him to take it back, then. He said no, of course, but still. We didn't have so many debts when he bought my ring, and besides, he was planning on using the money he bought my ring with to get the frets taken out of his bass guitar.
I'm giving the ring back to him tonight. I'm going to tell him that if he's going to use it against me, then I'd rather not wear the filthy thing. I wouldn't be so harsh about the whole thing, but I just feel like what he said was harsh and he deserves to know how I feel. He didn't even apologize for lying! I had to ask, "Are you even sorry about lying?". He said "yeah". It wasn't even sincere....
So what I need advice on is whether or not I should split up with him. It's a really hard situation to be in because I love him and he's the father of my child, but he's extremely irresponsible and, dare I say, immature. He obviously doesn't grasp the concept of supporting us. He's going to have to pay all of the bills for three people (me, himself, and the baby). I don't think he understands that. I'm sure he 'understands' but I don't think he fully grasps the concept.
I mean, he has all of these bills to pay and he needs to be saving money towards moving out and he buys something we don't need. What if he does this when we move out and then we can't make the rent? What if we get evicted and become homeless? I understand that we aren't moved out yet, but we need to be working on moving out. Dany might say that he's the only one with a job so he deserves something for himself every once and awhile, and I agree with that, but does it have to cost $85 when we're flat broke? And I'm sorry, but I consider all of the cigarettes he buys to be 'something for himself'.
I don't know...I'm done typing about it for now...
See, Dany and I are planning on moving out at the end of June. Because most rental places make you pay the first months rent and a deposit up front, we would need to save some money to move out. On top of all of that Dany needs to pay last month's and this month's car insurance (which ends up totaling over $200), he needs to get his car fixed, he needs to buy a new tire, and he needs to get his GED (it costs like $60 to take the test). It's already June 9th and he has accomplished NONE of this and he hasn't saved a dime towards moving out. I had about $30 saved, but I let him borrow it. He's supposed to pay me back sometime...
Anyhow, today one of the tires on his car blew out and he has to buy a new one. He asked to borrow my car so that he could go to the bank. I assumed that he was going to go to the bank and get money for a new tire. But no. He went to the bank and got money out to buy an $85 pedal for his bass guitar. And if that wasn't bad enough, he lied to me about it. The price tag on the box that the pedal came in read $79.99, but he told me that he only had to pay $45 because they matched some other place's price. I believed him, like an idiot. But it started raining so I went out to my car to roll up the windows and idiot-head Dany had left the receipt in my car sitting on the passenger's seat. Needless to say, I was furious. I was more angry about the money and more hurt about the dishonesty.
So I confronted him about it and he continued lying, but eventually he fessed up. He said that he lied to me because he didn't want to listen to me bitch, which is a really lame excuse. We're engaged to be married! He shouldn't lie to me to spare my feelings. Honesty is part of being in a relationship. He should have told me about it even if he knew I would get upset! It's his responsibility as my 'spouse' to be honest with me!
Anyway, at one point in the argument he said, "You sure didn't bitch at me when I bought you your engagement ring!" I was hurt. I told him to take it back, then. He said no, of course, but still. We didn't have so many debts when he bought my ring, and besides, he was planning on using the money he bought my ring with to get the frets taken out of his bass guitar.
I'm giving the ring back to him tonight. I'm going to tell him that if he's going to use it against me, then I'd rather not wear the filthy thing. I wouldn't be so harsh about the whole thing, but I just feel like what he said was harsh and he deserves to know how I feel. He didn't even apologize for lying! I had to ask, "Are you even sorry about lying?". He said "yeah". It wasn't even sincere....
So what I need advice on is whether or not I should split up with him. It's a really hard situation to be in because I love him and he's the father of my child, but he's extremely irresponsible and, dare I say, immature. He obviously doesn't grasp the concept of supporting us. He's going to have to pay all of the bills for three people (me, himself, and the baby). I don't think he understands that. I'm sure he 'understands' but I don't think he fully grasps the concept.
I mean, he has all of these bills to pay and he needs to be saving money towards moving out and he buys something we don't need. What if he does this when we move out and then we can't make the rent? What if we get evicted and become homeless? I understand that we aren't moved out yet, but we need to be working on moving out. Dany might say that he's the only one with a job so he deserves something for himself every once and awhile, and I agree with that, but does it have to cost $85 when we're flat broke? And I'm sorry, but I consider all of the cigarettes he buys to be 'something for himself'.
I don't know...I'm done typing about it for now...