on marriage
there's been so much talk about marriage lately.
someone i knew in grade eight recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy. i don't talk to her, nor was i ever really friends with her in grade eight, but she's 19. and now has a child. and the dude who knocked her up isn't with her anymore. so she's a single mom.
another girl i knew in grade eight was engaged throughout most of high school to this dude and they got married like last year i think. another girl, who was a year or two younger than me, got married last year too. when i picked up that random from chili's, he told me how he was engaged once.. because his girl was supposedly pregnant; and then wasn't? this also just happened on degrassi (shut up, i just finished the fourth season) where craig asked ash to marry him and she said no and craig had a huge breakdown etc etc.
even with the friends, i keep getting asked when i'm getting married, if i want kids, and so on.
and for some reason, people are blown away by my response.
i don't want to get married.
and i don't want to have kids.
can you really blame me, though?
i can't see myself in a lasting relationship that ends in a marriage. i can't see myself becoming that vulnerable and dependent on someone else. sure, marriage works.. sometimes. it's working for my parents for 25 years. but more than 90% of everyone i know, their parents aren't together.
i've watched my step brother get married to a slut, have a child, and then get divorced. and this slut had a different child with some other dude before my step brother. what i heard last is that she had two or three more kids; all with different fathers, and one of them already had like three kids. i'm afraid my nephew could grow up and meet the love of his life, only to end up the two of them having the same slut of a mother.
it's kind of a scary thought.
not really having any serious relationships throughout my 19 years on this planet has easily lead to my decision of not needing to get married. and, to be quite honest, there would be no way in hell i would ever have a kid for the following reasons.
1) kids are fucking ridiculous. they waste time, energy, money and space. 6 billion people on earth is too many, and adding that is just adding to global warming.
2) i despise taking care of things, unless it's something i really care about.
3) to have a kid that was as bad as i was throughout my teenage years is not something i want to go through again. one of me is too many. another one would just be wreckless and chaotic.
4) i have serious problems with love. i'm not sure i could love something i created. i would also lose my body and get really fat. yeah, not going to happen.
my mom keeps telling me that someday when i meet that, right guy, my views will change. and hell, she might even be right. but i'm not entirely sure i could be with someone who wanted the exact opposite of what i want. even if he was the right one.
i have too much ambition in me to be tied down and restricted through an unhealthy marriage or a set of kids. i'm content being single, hooking up, and casual dating. for now, at least. could i be tied down to a serious relationship? definitely not right now; i'm having way too much fun. but some day. as long as it doesn't lead to marriage.