Compassion.
Compassion.
Do people these days actually know what it means to be compassionate?
Compassion is described as a deep awareness of the suffereing of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
I think people forget this. One thinks if they feel sorry for someone, that is compassion.
Pity and Compassion are very different.
I feel things deeply. I always have. My mind is my own worst enemy most days, but that doesn't change the compassion i have for others who are hurting.
I have been having an inner struggle with my sister as of late. The status of our relationship and my willingness to attempt to put myself in her life. I have been told on numerous occasions that i need to accept who she is and where she is at in her life. But who she is and where she is in her life is hurting me. It hurts me every day. I try to not have expectations of her, but the fact of the matter is i should be able to expect her to be there for me or at least show me a little bit of compassion when something happens in my life that is not so pleasant. I don't think that is too much to expect. Is it?
Her outlook on life is very self-absorbed and she feels as though everyone is always out to make her the bad guy. She does not have the capacity or chooses to not have the compassion for her family to even acknowledge when something happens and be there. She cares more for acquaintances in her life than she does about her only bloody family that have been there for her unconditionally. When she treats us poorly or not.
Last month, her friend moved out of my apartment and broke multiple things in my apartment, stole from me and then chose on her way out to berate me telling me what a horrible person i was and i will be forever alone... The point is, she hurt my feelings for no reason other than to make herself feel better. My sister...a month later has never even mentioned or acknowledged what happened. She actually did not speak to me for three weeks and had it not been my birthday we probably would still not be speaking.
Is it okay for your sister to not be there for you?
Is it okay for your sister to not speak to you?
Is it okay for her to not acknowledge something awful that happened as a sibling or even as a human being?
Is okay for her to just brush it off and act like nothing happened?
I don't think so.
But, i allowed it.
I allowed her to brush something else under that dusty old rug and let her know it was okay for her to treat me like that.
This is not the first time.
And i do not try to bring it up because she will either hurt my feelings by saying get over it, or she will get angry and upset me by telling me i deserved it.
Even something as simple as i was talking about how touching and tragic the Orlando shootings were and talking about the memorials and good things people are doing for it in honor and in memory of all those lost and affected. Her responses were negative and passive. Like, the compassion these people are sharing across the world means nothing. It means something to those people who need the support right now. It means something to me, who feels for them. Her response is basically that nothing matters because people are still going to buy guns and kill people.
I was talking her on the phone today because my mom wants to put down one of our oldest cats and i didn't know this was going to happen this week. I am not prepared to do it. So, i called my sister to see if she would go with her. She immediately went into a rant about how mom and i play games and we want her to drop everything just to do what we want. And she said she would go with her, but she isn't going to drop her life to go with her.
First of all, where did this come from?
And what about compassion?
It is a hard thing putting down an animal. It is hard thing to DECIDE to put down an animal. And how hard would it actually be for you to drop everything and take 30 minutes out of your day to be there for YOUR family? Your mother? Isn't that was family is for?
Heaven for bid you be there for me or even acknowledge when YOUR friend ripped me a new one and stole from me, but your mom. be there for your mom.
Where is the compassion?
I told her she needed to be more compassionate with people. She said, "I am so tired of hearing that."
So, you have heard it before? On several occassions? Maybe you should think about that. Maybe you should do something for another without expecting anything from them in return. And her compassion was centered around THIS instance. When i tried to get her to listen to me about why she needed to be more compassionate, she immediately when on a rant and demonized my mom and me about why we were at fault.
Does she really feel that way about us? Why does she even talk to us? Why does she keep us around if she feels like we are crazy. or play games or bring her down? What exactly do you want from us if not for us to want you and need you around?
I think i will forever be perplexed by the relationship i struggle to have with my sister.
And the fact of the matter is, we have a good time together as long as we don't talk about anything having to do with anything.
But it is a struggle for me....every. day.
And sometimes, i do tell myself that the only reason i try so hard with her is for my mom because my mom wants us to have each other when we get older.
But, I often ask myself...is it worth it when I am the only one trying?
Do people these days actually know what it means to be compassionate?
Compassion is described as a deep awareness of the suffereing of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
I think people forget this. One thinks if they feel sorry for someone, that is compassion.
Pity and Compassion are very different.
I feel things deeply. I always have. My mind is my own worst enemy most days, but that doesn't change the compassion i have for others who are hurting.
I have been having an inner struggle with my sister as of late. The status of our relationship and my willingness to attempt to put myself in her life. I have been told on numerous occasions that i need to accept who she is and where she is at in her life. But who she is and where she is in her life is hurting me. It hurts me every day. I try to not have expectations of her, but the fact of the matter is i should be able to expect her to be there for me or at least show me a little bit of compassion when something happens in my life that is not so pleasant. I don't think that is too much to expect. Is it?
Her outlook on life is very self-absorbed and she feels as though everyone is always out to make her the bad guy. She does not have the capacity or chooses to not have the compassion for her family to even acknowledge when something happens and be there. She cares more for acquaintances in her life than she does about her only bloody family that have been there for her unconditionally. When she treats us poorly or not.
Last month, her friend moved out of my apartment and broke multiple things in my apartment, stole from me and then chose on her way out to berate me telling me what a horrible person i was and i will be forever alone... The point is, she hurt my feelings for no reason other than to make herself feel better. My sister...a month later has never even mentioned or acknowledged what happened. She actually did not speak to me for three weeks and had it not been my birthday we probably would still not be speaking.
Is it okay for your sister to not be there for you?
Is it okay for your sister to not speak to you?
Is it okay for her to not acknowledge something awful that happened as a sibling or even as a human being?
Is okay for her to just brush it off and act like nothing happened?
I don't think so.
But, i allowed it.
I allowed her to brush something else under that dusty old rug and let her know it was okay for her to treat me like that.
This is not the first time.
And i do not try to bring it up because she will either hurt my feelings by saying get over it, or she will get angry and upset me by telling me i deserved it.
Even something as simple as i was talking about how touching and tragic the Orlando shootings were and talking about the memorials and good things people are doing for it in honor and in memory of all those lost and affected. Her responses were negative and passive. Like, the compassion these people are sharing across the world means nothing. It means something to those people who need the support right now. It means something to me, who feels for them. Her response is basically that nothing matters because people are still going to buy guns and kill people.
I was talking her on the phone today because my mom wants to put down one of our oldest cats and i didn't know this was going to happen this week. I am not prepared to do it. So, i called my sister to see if she would go with her. She immediately went into a rant about how mom and i play games and we want her to drop everything just to do what we want. And she said she would go with her, but she isn't going to drop her life to go with her.
First of all, where did this come from?
And what about compassion?
It is a hard thing putting down an animal. It is hard thing to DECIDE to put down an animal. And how hard would it actually be for you to drop everything and take 30 minutes out of your day to be there for YOUR family? Your mother? Isn't that was family is for?
Heaven for bid you be there for me or even acknowledge when YOUR friend ripped me a new one and stole from me, but your mom. be there for your mom.
Where is the compassion?
I told her she needed to be more compassionate with people. She said, "I am so tired of hearing that."
So, you have heard it before? On several occassions? Maybe you should think about that. Maybe you should do something for another without expecting anything from them in return. And her compassion was centered around THIS instance. When i tried to get her to listen to me about why she needed to be more compassionate, she immediately when on a rant and demonized my mom and me about why we were at fault.
Does she really feel that way about us? Why does she even talk to us? Why does she keep us around if she feels like we are crazy. or play games or bring her down? What exactly do you want from us if not for us to want you and need you around?
I think i will forever be perplexed by the relationship i struggle to have with my sister.
And the fact of the matter is, we have a good time together as long as we don't talk about anything having to do with anything.
But it is a struggle for me....every. day.
And sometimes, i do tell myself that the only reason i try so hard with her is for my mom because my mom wants us to have each other when we get older.
But, I often ask myself...is it worth it when I am the only one trying?