[Ongoing] Unwanted (4/5) - Ohmiya
Unwanted (4/5) || ica_90 || beta by: yaoilicious_53 ||Ohmiya || Drama, Angst, Probably fluff ending || NC-17 just to be safe
Four
“If you’re here to snicker and mock at me over what had happened, then get lost!” Nino says, gritting his teeth in annoyance when he sees Jun smirking at him.
But Jun doesn’t move, not even a step. His position stays the same as he keeps watching Nino who is pacing back and forth restlessly, messing up his hair even more. The man is anxious and Jun perfectly understands why. Still, Jun finds it amusing, especially when the idea that Nino never had been this anxious for all the time he has known the man.
Nino always has things under his control. For Jun to see something like this, it is new.
But that isn’t the reason why he is here.
“To put some sense into you,” Jun replies simply, only to hear a snort from the other guy.
“No, I don’t need it. Get out,” Nino says, finally settles down on his bed. His breath uneven, trying to compose himself to face the problem he had now, but he fails. It is absurd, he thinks. How could he fall into this problem when he was supposed to escape it the night he left Ohno’s house 3 years ago? It pisses him off.
“It’s not your decision to tell me I shouldn’t, Nino. Trust me, you really need it now,” Jun says calmly as he makes his way towards Nino. Noticing this, Nino glares at him, making Jun stop his steps, making his way to the single chair in the room instead of finding his seat next to Nino.
“My life is a mess right now, Matsumoto,” Nino says, gritting his teeth. “I don’t need you to put more mess into it,”
“What if I say, what happened last night was part of my fault too?” Jun asks making Nino’s eyes widen in surprise.
“What do you mean?”
Jun doesn’t reply immediately. He takes his time, letting Nino’s curiosity take over him, subsiding his anger away. When he sees the man’s anger cools down, replaced by a deep frown on the man’s forehead, Jun sighs once before he starts to speak again.
“You know that guy has been crying since the day we landed here? Well, aside from how glad he was being part of Arashi, part of him was regretting his decision to ditch you years ago,”
“He didn’t ditch me, Matsumoto! He humiliated me!”
Jun nods. Of course, no one is denying the truth about that. Nino might be hard-headed, keeping the secret by himself for the past three years, but Ohno was bearing the guilt for saying something he never meant.
Jun knows about it. When one drunken night Ohno spilled the secret, Jun was shocked. His sense quickly made a judgement that if Ohno was actually scared to take a risk, Nino shouldn’t be made to do it either.
“Remember last year, when we actually fought about where should we, Arashi, lead our way?” Jun speaks, ignoring the tension Nino made earlier. “I told you we needed to step up. Leave our childish image and start to become mature,”
“Yeah-“ Nino rolls his eyes. “You told me to stop all this Ohmiya SK bullshit-“
“And you were against it-“
“But I fucking did it! I left it when it was a masterpiece. When everyone was hoping for us to appear again-“
“Because I don’t want you to get hurt,” Jun cuts Nino, calmly. His eyes soften as he speaks, stares Nino deeply into his eyes because he needs to convince the man.
“It all came in sequence, right? He hurt you. You put some distance. He’s bearing all the guilt for hurting you. But deep inside, you’re actually hoping for a possibility that there’s a room for you in his heart-“
“Now you’re being ridi-“
“You can deny it, Nino,” Jun says, standing from his seat as he makes his way to him before he takes a seat next to Nino. “But you can’t lie to your heart. Ask yourself. Do you really hate him?”
Nino falls silent. Jun is right; he hates Ohno. He hates Ohno for making him believe that he doesn’t deserve to be loved. But then, he still loves Ohno. It wasn’t easy to hate the man even after years had passed. His heart is still looking for Ohno.
He lowered his head, refused to look at Jun who is looking at him intently. At the moment, he feels like an open book and it feels like Jun can read him perfectly. It was embarrassing.
“What do you want me to do now, J? Nino asks. His voice softens and sounds fragile.
“I just want you to make the right decision, Nino. It’s your life. Whatever your decision is, it is your right. But you need to hear me out. Once I’m done, it’s up to you to continue this marriage or not,”
Jun heaves a sighs when Nino doesn’t say anything in return. Aside from looking at each other, Nino chooses to stay silent, readying himself to hear whatever Jun’s going to say next.
“I was there with the two of you, last night,” Jun says.
“You what?” Nino exclaims, shock.
“I am the witness to your marriage,”
“You should have stopped us!” Nino yells.
“But I didn’t. Because I believed you both needed this,”
Nino shakes his head. Jun doesn’t make any sense.
“Nino, listen. I know I should have stopped both of you from doing this ridiculous thing. But I didn’t. It was supposed to be a drink session in your room, just that. But when the topic varied, and you started to talk about marriage- I wish you could see how desperate Riida was, as if he was hoping he could turn back in time and make it right again,”
“But that doesn’t mean we have to get married, Jun,” Nino replies, sounding in despair. “Don’t you understand how messed up this whole thing is? We’re idols. And marriage needs responsibilities. I don’t want the two of us to be like my parents,”
Jun smiles.
“Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Nino replies. “It hurts. God, Jun. I don’t even know if he really loves me or if it’s just a love out of guilt. That kind of love never works,”
Once again, Jun smiles.
“But with him, I’m sure it will work for the two of you,”
Nino falls silent. He doesn’t know who he should believe now. Ohno had told him it is impossible for him to love him in return. Even his own heart told him to never fall in love ever again, taking out how damaged his heart was because of the past.
“He was afraid, Nino. Afraid that it would ruin our reputation. Our dynamics. But he had realized his mistake and he wanted to make it right. Except, he didn’t know how. Believe me, Nino. As a professional, I would not agree to this marriage at all. But as an Arashi member, I just want all of us to be happy. I see this is one of the ways,”
Hearing Jun, he wants to give Ohno a chance. But his heart is just too afraid to do so. He keeps staring at Jun, emptily, as empty as his mind is. Until Jun stands from the bed, heading out of the room.
“Both of you need to talk. I might have made a mistake last night, but whatever decision you’re going to make next, do remember that you have me and I’ll support you. I just want you and him to be happy,”
Jun repeats the same phrase twice
Will this marriage make them happy?
He watches Jun leaving the room, before he throws himself back on the bed, pondering on the right decision he should make.
***
A knock on the door thirty minutes later startles him from his thoughts. He pushes himself up, dragging his feet lazily to the door and as he opens it, Ohno’s anxious face greets him.
He doesn’t invite the man in or ask him to leave either. Instead, he leaves the door open, letting the man in as he makes his way to the middle of the room.
Ohno looks so worried and desperate. He rubs his hand again and again, trying to find the right words to start talking. For all he knows, one wrong word could ruin everything.
But before he could, Nino starts.
“Where does this ring come from?” Nino asks, staring and playing with the ring on his finger.
“I bought it, two years ago,” Nino raises his eyebrows in amusement. “and I’ve always kept it in my pocket, hoping for the right time to come,”
“Was last night the right time?”
Ohno shrugs.
“Nino, I’m- I’m so sorry. I just-“
Ohno rushes to his side. Taking Nino’s hand into his, he kneels, staring deep into Nino’s eyes.
“We can work this out. I-“
“How can you be so confident about this, Riida?” Nino says, mockingly laughs at him. “You said I was disgusting-“
“It was my mistake,” Ohno cuts him, desperate. “I’m just so afraid. I don’t want this to ruin us. Our reputation. But Nino. I really need you. It hurts seeing all the distance we established after what had happened. Just, just give me a chance. I’ll prove it to you, that we really deserve this. Please-“
Nino heaves a sigh. He really wants to give Ohno a chance. But the word marriage itself scares him. His surroundings never convinced him that marriage would keep a love eternal. For example, his parents.
He loves Ohno, despite the great scar on his heart that he had caused. But when he is close to determine that he should give the man a chance, a wave of fear runs through his veins, making him shake as he thinks about the future.
“Ohno-san,” He says. His lips shiver when he speaks. “I’m sorry. I can’t-“
Ohno hears his heart break.
____________________________________________________________________
last chapter on it way. I'll finish this in this year as this is originally written for Ohmiya Anniversary on 28th December. please comeback to read it again before midnight. :)
Four
“If you’re here to snicker and mock at me over what had happened, then get lost!” Nino says, gritting his teeth in annoyance when he sees Jun smirking at him.
But Jun doesn’t move, not even a step. His position stays the same as he keeps watching Nino who is pacing back and forth restlessly, messing up his hair even more. The man is anxious and Jun perfectly understands why. Still, Jun finds it amusing, especially when the idea that Nino never had been this anxious for all the time he has known the man.
Nino always has things under his control. For Jun to see something like this, it is new.
But that isn’t the reason why he is here.
“To put some sense into you,” Jun replies simply, only to hear a snort from the other guy.
“No, I don’t need it. Get out,” Nino says, finally settles down on his bed. His breath uneven, trying to compose himself to face the problem he had now, but he fails. It is absurd, he thinks. How could he fall into this problem when he was supposed to escape it the night he left Ohno’s house 3 years ago? It pisses him off.
“It’s not your decision to tell me I shouldn’t, Nino. Trust me, you really need it now,” Jun says calmly as he makes his way towards Nino. Noticing this, Nino glares at him, making Jun stop his steps, making his way to the single chair in the room instead of finding his seat next to Nino.
“My life is a mess right now, Matsumoto,” Nino says, gritting his teeth. “I don’t need you to put more mess into it,”
“What if I say, what happened last night was part of my fault too?” Jun asks making Nino’s eyes widen in surprise.
“What do you mean?”
Jun doesn’t reply immediately. He takes his time, letting Nino’s curiosity take over him, subsiding his anger away. When he sees the man’s anger cools down, replaced by a deep frown on the man’s forehead, Jun sighs once before he starts to speak again.
“You know that guy has been crying since the day we landed here? Well, aside from how glad he was being part of Arashi, part of him was regretting his decision to ditch you years ago,”
“He didn’t ditch me, Matsumoto! He humiliated me!”
Jun nods. Of course, no one is denying the truth about that. Nino might be hard-headed, keeping the secret by himself for the past three years, but Ohno was bearing the guilt for saying something he never meant.
Jun knows about it. When one drunken night Ohno spilled the secret, Jun was shocked. His sense quickly made a judgement that if Ohno was actually scared to take a risk, Nino shouldn’t be made to do it either.
“Remember last year, when we actually fought about where should we, Arashi, lead our way?” Jun speaks, ignoring the tension Nino made earlier. “I told you we needed to step up. Leave our childish image and start to become mature,”
“Yeah-“ Nino rolls his eyes. “You told me to stop all this Ohmiya SK bullshit-“
“And you were against it-“
“But I fucking did it! I left it when it was a masterpiece. When everyone was hoping for us to appear again-“
“Because I don’t want you to get hurt,” Jun cuts Nino, calmly. His eyes soften as he speaks, stares Nino deeply into his eyes because he needs to convince the man.
“It all came in sequence, right? He hurt you. You put some distance. He’s bearing all the guilt for hurting you. But deep inside, you’re actually hoping for a possibility that there’s a room for you in his heart-“
“Now you’re being ridi-“
“You can deny it, Nino,” Jun says, standing from his seat as he makes his way to him before he takes a seat next to Nino. “But you can’t lie to your heart. Ask yourself. Do you really hate him?”
Nino falls silent. Jun is right; he hates Ohno. He hates Ohno for making him believe that he doesn’t deserve to be loved. But then, he still loves Ohno. It wasn’t easy to hate the man even after years had passed. His heart is still looking for Ohno.
He lowered his head, refused to look at Jun who is looking at him intently. At the moment, he feels like an open book and it feels like Jun can read him perfectly. It was embarrassing.
“What do you want me to do now, J? Nino asks. His voice softens and sounds fragile.
“I just want you to make the right decision, Nino. It’s your life. Whatever your decision is, it is your right. But you need to hear me out. Once I’m done, it’s up to you to continue this marriage or not,”
Jun heaves a sighs when Nino doesn’t say anything in return. Aside from looking at each other, Nino chooses to stay silent, readying himself to hear whatever Jun’s going to say next.
“I was there with the two of you, last night,” Jun says.
“You what?” Nino exclaims, shock.
“I am the witness to your marriage,”
“You should have stopped us!” Nino yells.
“But I didn’t. Because I believed you both needed this,”
Nino shakes his head. Jun doesn’t make any sense.
“Nino, listen. I know I should have stopped both of you from doing this ridiculous thing. But I didn’t. It was supposed to be a drink session in your room, just that. But when the topic varied, and you started to talk about marriage- I wish you could see how desperate Riida was, as if he was hoping he could turn back in time and make it right again,”
“But that doesn’t mean we have to get married, Jun,” Nino replies, sounding in despair. “Don’t you understand how messed up this whole thing is? We’re idols. And marriage needs responsibilities. I don’t want the two of us to be like my parents,”
Jun smiles.
“Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Nino replies. “It hurts. God, Jun. I don’t even know if he really loves me or if it’s just a love out of guilt. That kind of love never works,”
Once again, Jun smiles.
“But with him, I’m sure it will work for the two of you,”
Nino falls silent. He doesn’t know who he should believe now. Ohno had told him it is impossible for him to love him in return. Even his own heart told him to never fall in love ever again, taking out how damaged his heart was because of the past.
“He was afraid, Nino. Afraid that it would ruin our reputation. Our dynamics. But he had realized his mistake and he wanted to make it right. Except, he didn’t know how. Believe me, Nino. As a professional, I would not agree to this marriage at all. But as an Arashi member, I just want all of us to be happy. I see this is one of the ways,”
Hearing Jun, he wants to give Ohno a chance. But his heart is just too afraid to do so. He keeps staring at Jun, emptily, as empty as his mind is. Until Jun stands from the bed, heading out of the room.
“Both of you need to talk. I might have made a mistake last night, but whatever decision you’re going to make next, do remember that you have me and I’ll support you. I just want you and him to be happy,”
Jun repeats the same phrase twice
Will this marriage make them happy?
He watches Jun leaving the room, before he throws himself back on the bed, pondering on the right decision he should make.
***
A knock on the door thirty minutes later startles him from his thoughts. He pushes himself up, dragging his feet lazily to the door and as he opens it, Ohno’s anxious face greets him.
He doesn’t invite the man in or ask him to leave either. Instead, he leaves the door open, letting the man in as he makes his way to the middle of the room.
Ohno looks so worried and desperate. He rubs his hand again and again, trying to find the right words to start talking. For all he knows, one wrong word could ruin everything.
But before he could, Nino starts.
“Where does this ring come from?” Nino asks, staring and playing with the ring on his finger.
“I bought it, two years ago,” Nino raises his eyebrows in amusement. “and I’ve always kept it in my pocket, hoping for the right time to come,”
“Was last night the right time?”
Ohno shrugs.
“Nino, I’m- I’m so sorry. I just-“
Ohno rushes to his side. Taking Nino’s hand into his, he kneels, staring deep into Nino’s eyes.
“We can work this out. I-“
“How can you be so confident about this, Riida?” Nino says, mockingly laughs at him. “You said I was disgusting-“
“It was my mistake,” Ohno cuts him, desperate. “I’m just so afraid. I don’t want this to ruin us. Our reputation. But Nino. I really need you. It hurts seeing all the distance we established after what had happened. Just, just give me a chance. I’ll prove it to you, that we really deserve this. Please-“
Nino heaves a sigh. He really wants to give Ohno a chance. But the word marriage itself scares him. His surroundings never convinced him that marriage would keep a love eternal. For example, his parents.
He loves Ohno, despite the great scar on his heart that he had caused. But when he is close to determine that he should give the man a chance, a wave of fear runs through his veins, making him shake as he thinks about the future.
“Ohno-san,” He says. His lips shiver when he speaks. “I’m sorry. I can’t-“
Ohno hears his heart break.
____________________________________________________________________
last chapter on it way. I'll finish this in this year as this is originally written for Ohmiya Anniversary on 28th December. please comeback to read it again before midnight. :)