[Ongoing] Maybe Forever - Ohmiya (Chapter 13)
Maybe Forever | Ongoing | Chapter 13 | Angst. Drama | PG-15 | beta by : asdfghjklalala (thank you ^.^)
Disclaimer: nope. I don't own Ohno or Nino or Jun or Arashi. they belongs to themselves. no profit taken from this, except for some stress reliever.
CHAPTER 13
The moment Jun opened the door, Ohno miserable face greeted him.
Ohno was crying, his eyes were red and his face wet from all his tears. Something happened, Jun thought and the first thing that came in his mind was Nino. He couldn’t deny that he still feel bitter about what happened a month ago, that’s why his ego was preventing him from asking why Ohno was here right in front of his house and crying. It was a completely different Ohno compared to the one who came to him a month ago, forcing him to leave Nino.
He clicked his tongue in annoyance as he turned around to walk inside with Ohno behind him.
“How long do I have, Matsumoto-san?” Ohno asked him once he closed the door behind them, making Jun stop. Something in him sparked as shivers ran down his body with the thought inside his head.
He turned facing the man. Ohno’s lips quivered, he wanted to ask again but perhaps it was too much for Ohno to say anything that he was left being unable to speak.
Still, Jun was stubborn. He glared at the man, not even bothering to hide his hate for everything that happened between the three of them. For him, Ohno does not deserve any respect or even a proper talk for him to show sympathy. Ohno deserved all the pain he has right now more than anything.
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” Jun said coldly with his back facing Ohno, it wasn’t until Ohno grabbed Jun by his shoulder that he was forcefully made to face the man.
“He’s sick! For months, he stayed with you. Don’t fucking tell me that you don’t know a thing about it!” Ohno bursts out.
“You told me to forget him, Ohno-san. You told me to give up on him, to let it go! And now you’re begging me for an answer? When you decided to take him, you should have known this! But you didn’t!”
Jun’s face was stern. He wanted to return questions to Ohno; about Nino conditions, about Nino whereabouts, but watching how the man was at the point of breaking, Jun sighed, and decided to give Ohno the answers he needed.
“If he takes his medication properly, you have up to a year. But that was 4 months ago. On that day you found him in New York” Jun replied, putting a straight face when he spoke but only god knows how painful he felt inside saying those words.
It’s not fair. After all the things he did, Nino chose Ohno over him. But he didn’t blame Nino for that. He was a coward himself when he decided to let the man go.
He watched how Ohno’s strength failed as he kneeled on the floor. His legs refused to let him stand, shivering by the fact he had learned. Ohno didn’t have much time. No. They don’t have much time left. They’re losing Nino and it’s hurting both of them.
Still, Jun thought that Ohno needed to know. While he knew it was Nino’s fate to suffer the disease, he couldn’t help blaming Ohno for he’s the reason why Nino refused the treatment.
“It was a year ago when he discovered it.” Jun started, staring at Ohno who was kneeling in front of him. “When he was diagnosed with the disease a year ago, he still had a chance to recover. That is if he had proper medication, yet he refused. Do you want to know why?”
Ohno lifted up his head.
“Because he gave up.” Jun continued, gritting his teeth. “For four years, he was stupidly waiting for you to call him, hoping that you’ll find him. He hoped to get at least an apology from you for the things you did, you ruined his trust, his life. Despite all these I know deep down him, he was still hoping that you’ll love him just like how he had always loved you. But you never came nor did you even asked where he is. Not even a single effort.”
Jun bit his lips, wanting to stop it from shivering.
“It’s always me, Ohno-san. It’s always me who he called when he was hurt. And you know what he told me? He told me it was unfair. It was unfair because he was always the one to have all these unfortunate events. He told me it was unfair because he always believed in true love but he never got one in return. Do you understand how painful it was for me?”
He couldn’t bother about Ohno’s condition now. He could see regret in the man’s eyes. He could tell from the way Ohno was crying how he was hoping that everything was a lie, hoping that it’s just a harsh joke as his punishment. But then, Jun knew too, how Ohno’s conscious mind was telling him that it was the truth that he needed to face; that he’s going to lose another person who he loved after his wife.
But Jun couldn’t care less. Ohno deserved to know. He needed to know how much damage he made because of his selfish act.
“I always love him, Ohno-san.” Jun spoke again. His eyes narrowed, his lips forming a scornful smile. “Always. Even when you pushed him away that night after you used him. I took him in even though he felt so wasted, so undeserved to have me. I promised myself that I won’t stop loving him. I promised myself to make him happy. But then, you came and ruined everything. For that, I can’t forgive you.”
Slowly, Jun walked approaching the man, stopped a few steps away from Ohno before he kneeled in front the man. Their eyes met.
“You told me you can be his happiness, Ohno-san.” Tears were strolling down Jun’s face when he chuckled scornfully at the man.
“Did you? Or have you? Have you gave him enough happiness? Did he get the happiness he deserved?”
Jun never get the answer to his own question. All Ohno did cry, throwing away all his ego in front of his love rival. Even when Jun threw him out his house that was the only thing he did; crying his eyes out and regretting his past decisions.
*
“Am I going to die?”
“No, sir. You will live as long as you will. But from now on, you’ll need to learn to appreciate every single moment in your life. Enjoy it as much as you can,”
He didn’t.
Three months passed in a blinked of time and none of the happy memories ever stick to his mind. Did he even have one?
The memories from three months ago replayed again in his mind the moment he opened his eyes only to realize that he was in the hospital.
He always hate the smell. Ever since he was a child. He hate the smell of medicine. Not to mention, the atmosphere where he could hear people wailing for help, wanting to ease the pain they felt. Staying there felt too surreal, reminding him how he didn’t have much time left.
Nino remembered so well how he left the Caucasian doctor’s room 4 months ago, feeling down, trying to accept his fate. He remembered making his way home, walking through the crowded area absentmindedly, asking himself where it has gone wrong in his life. His only answer was Ohno.
He never wanted to blame the man. It was his fault for falling in love with a guy who had made it clear that things between them was just an experiment. Ohno never gave him hope. He always being realistic. Yet, he was the one hoping for the impossible.
He remembered the day he heard a ruckus at an alley, someone was obviously asking for help. Despite how miserable he felt that time, he decided to help only to know later that it was Ohno who he had helped.
He sighed. Somehow, he chuckled at his own fate, mocking him for being unlucky. While he was hoping for happiness, the only things he got was sadness and unworthiness.
That was four months ago. Despite how much time passed still nothing changed to his unlucky fate. He was still alone, he even lost Jun, the one guy who has been waiting for him for years, because of the decision he made. Somehow, he regretted it.
And there was Ohno, that guy who he had saw love in his eyes as time passed while he spent his life with the man. It saddened him, bearing in his mind how the man’s love was just because he was fulfilling his wife request, not because he really loved him.
It hurt him more than he could imagine. What does he has to do to deserve love like everyone else? Was it too much for him to ask for some love? He had one, that one guy who he leaved because of his stupidity. Instead of hating Ohno now, he hated himself more, for being so weak, a coward who was just afraid to fight for someone who truly deserved his love.
He heard the sound of the door being opened. He took a peek, looking at the guy who just entered the room. Surprisingly, he didn’t share the man’s pain, even how miserable the man looked.
Ohno took a seat next to his bed. For once, Nino let him when he hold his hand, gripping hard as he kissed it again and again. Tears never stopped from his eyes and Nino could see his sincerity. The man was shook, shivering as he tried so hard to stop crying, wanting to appear strong in front of Nino, knowing that was perhaps something Nino wanted to see from him.
“Kazunari--” Ohno called him soft in between his sobs. “-why didn’t you tell me anything?”
Nino fell silent.
He hated it. Hated everything about it. About how Ohno had concern showing in his voice. How his cries grew uncontrolled as every second pass by in silence. For the first time in his life, he saw that sincere love Ohno had for him.
He could see Ohno was asking for something he couldn’t give. Something he had given up ever since he was diagnosed with the disease. He gave up and there’s no chance of returning.
Slowly, he pulled away his hand from the man’s grip. He could see Ohno’s dumbfounded face when he did but he couldn’t care less. This was for the best, he thought. For Ohno’s best.
Trying so hard not to choke on his words, Nino spoke.
“I don’t want to see you,” he stopped for a moment taking all the strength he had left he continued, “If you really love me please leave.”
_____________________________________________________________________
sorry for the very late update. i am so busy catching up with my real life.
and sorry for not replying comments. i'll try my best to replied them later.
thanks a lot for reading and commenting :)
Disclaimer: nope. I don't own Ohno or Nino or Jun or Arashi. they belongs to themselves. no profit taken from this, except for some stress reliever.
CHAPTER 13
The moment Jun opened the door, Ohno miserable face greeted him.
Ohno was crying, his eyes were red and his face wet from all his tears. Something happened, Jun thought and the first thing that came in his mind was Nino. He couldn’t deny that he still feel bitter about what happened a month ago, that’s why his ego was preventing him from asking why Ohno was here right in front of his house and crying. It was a completely different Ohno compared to the one who came to him a month ago, forcing him to leave Nino.
He clicked his tongue in annoyance as he turned around to walk inside with Ohno behind him.
“How long do I have, Matsumoto-san?” Ohno asked him once he closed the door behind them, making Jun stop. Something in him sparked as shivers ran down his body with the thought inside his head.
He turned facing the man. Ohno’s lips quivered, he wanted to ask again but perhaps it was too much for Ohno to say anything that he was left being unable to speak.
Still, Jun was stubborn. He glared at the man, not even bothering to hide his hate for everything that happened between the three of them. For him, Ohno does not deserve any respect or even a proper talk for him to show sympathy. Ohno deserved all the pain he has right now more than anything.
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” Jun said coldly with his back facing Ohno, it wasn’t until Ohno grabbed Jun by his shoulder that he was forcefully made to face the man.
“He’s sick! For months, he stayed with you. Don’t fucking tell me that you don’t know a thing about it!” Ohno bursts out.
“You told me to forget him, Ohno-san. You told me to give up on him, to let it go! And now you’re begging me for an answer? When you decided to take him, you should have known this! But you didn’t!”
Jun’s face was stern. He wanted to return questions to Ohno; about Nino conditions, about Nino whereabouts, but watching how the man was at the point of breaking, Jun sighed, and decided to give Ohno the answers he needed.
“If he takes his medication properly, you have up to a year. But that was 4 months ago. On that day you found him in New York” Jun replied, putting a straight face when he spoke but only god knows how painful he felt inside saying those words.
It’s not fair. After all the things he did, Nino chose Ohno over him. But he didn’t blame Nino for that. He was a coward himself when he decided to let the man go.
He watched how Ohno’s strength failed as he kneeled on the floor. His legs refused to let him stand, shivering by the fact he had learned. Ohno didn’t have much time. No. They don’t have much time left. They’re losing Nino and it’s hurting both of them.
Still, Jun thought that Ohno needed to know. While he knew it was Nino’s fate to suffer the disease, he couldn’t help blaming Ohno for he’s the reason why Nino refused the treatment.
“It was a year ago when he discovered it.” Jun started, staring at Ohno who was kneeling in front of him. “When he was diagnosed with the disease a year ago, he still had a chance to recover. That is if he had proper medication, yet he refused. Do you want to know why?”
Ohno lifted up his head.
“Because he gave up.” Jun continued, gritting his teeth. “For four years, he was stupidly waiting for you to call him, hoping that you’ll find him. He hoped to get at least an apology from you for the things you did, you ruined his trust, his life. Despite all these I know deep down him, he was still hoping that you’ll love him just like how he had always loved you. But you never came nor did you even asked where he is. Not even a single effort.”
Jun bit his lips, wanting to stop it from shivering.
“It’s always me, Ohno-san. It’s always me who he called when he was hurt. And you know what he told me? He told me it was unfair. It was unfair because he was always the one to have all these unfortunate events. He told me it was unfair because he always believed in true love but he never got one in return. Do you understand how painful it was for me?”
He couldn’t bother about Ohno’s condition now. He could see regret in the man’s eyes. He could tell from the way Ohno was crying how he was hoping that everything was a lie, hoping that it’s just a harsh joke as his punishment. But then, Jun knew too, how Ohno’s conscious mind was telling him that it was the truth that he needed to face; that he’s going to lose another person who he loved after his wife.
But Jun couldn’t care less. Ohno deserved to know. He needed to know how much damage he made because of his selfish act.
“I always love him, Ohno-san.” Jun spoke again. His eyes narrowed, his lips forming a scornful smile. “Always. Even when you pushed him away that night after you used him. I took him in even though he felt so wasted, so undeserved to have me. I promised myself that I won’t stop loving him. I promised myself to make him happy. But then, you came and ruined everything. For that, I can’t forgive you.”
Slowly, Jun walked approaching the man, stopped a few steps away from Ohno before he kneeled in front the man. Their eyes met.
“You told me you can be his happiness, Ohno-san.” Tears were strolling down Jun’s face when he chuckled scornfully at the man.
“Did you? Or have you? Have you gave him enough happiness? Did he get the happiness he deserved?”
Jun never get the answer to his own question. All Ohno did cry, throwing away all his ego in front of his love rival. Even when Jun threw him out his house that was the only thing he did; crying his eyes out and regretting his past decisions.
*
“Am I going to die?”
“No, sir. You will live as long as you will. But from now on, you’ll need to learn to appreciate every single moment in your life. Enjoy it as much as you can,”
He didn’t.
Three months passed in a blinked of time and none of the happy memories ever stick to his mind. Did he even have one?
The memories from three months ago replayed again in his mind the moment he opened his eyes only to realize that he was in the hospital.
He always hate the smell. Ever since he was a child. He hate the smell of medicine. Not to mention, the atmosphere where he could hear people wailing for help, wanting to ease the pain they felt. Staying there felt too surreal, reminding him how he didn’t have much time left.
Nino remembered so well how he left the Caucasian doctor’s room 4 months ago, feeling down, trying to accept his fate. He remembered making his way home, walking through the crowded area absentmindedly, asking himself where it has gone wrong in his life. His only answer was Ohno.
He never wanted to blame the man. It was his fault for falling in love with a guy who had made it clear that things between them was just an experiment. Ohno never gave him hope. He always being realistic. Yet, he was the one hoping for the impossible.
He remembered the day he heard a ruckus at an alley, someone was obviously asking for help. Despite how miserable he felt that time, he decided to help only to know later that it was Ohno who he had helped.
He sighed. Somehow, he chuckled at his own fate, mocking him for being unlucky. While he was hoping for happiness, the only things he got was sadness and unworthiness.
That was four months ago. Despite how much time passed still nothing changed to his unlucky fate. He was still alone, he even lost Jun, the one guy who has been waiting for him for years, because of the decision he made. Somehow, he regretted it.
And there was Ohno, that guy who he had saw love in his eyes as time passed while he spent his life with the man. It saddened him, bearing in his mind how the man’s love was just because he was fulfilling his wife request, not because he really loved him.
It hurt him more than he could imagine. What does he has to do to deserve love like everyone else? Was it too much for him to ask for some love? He had one, that one guy who he leaved because of his stupidity. Instead of hating Ohno now, he hated himself more, for being so weak, a coward who was just afraid to fight for someone who truly deserved his love.
He heard the sound of the door being opened. He took a peek, looking at the guy who just entered the room. Surprisingly, he didn’t share the man’s pain, even how miserable the man looked.
Ohno took a seat next to his bed. For once, Nino let him when he hold his hand, gripping hard as he kissed it again and again. Tears never stopped from his eyes and Nino could see his sincerity. The man was shook, shivering as he tried so hard to stop crying, wanting to appear strong in front of Nino, knowing that was perhaps something Nino wanted to see from him.
“Kazunari--” Ohno called him soft in between his sobs. “-why didn’t you tell me anything?”
Nino fell silent.
He hated it. Hated everything about it. About how Ohno had concern showing in his voice. How his cries grew uncontrolled as every second pass by in silence. For the first time in his life, he saw that sincere love Ohno had for him.
He could see Ohno was asking for something he couldn’t give. Something he had given up ever since he was diagnosed with the disease. He gave up and there’s no chance of returning.
Slowly, he pulled away his hand from the man’s grip. He could see Ohno’s dumbfounded face when he did but he couldn’t care less. This was for the best, he thought. For Ohno’s best.
Trying so hard not to choke on his words, Nino spoke.
“I don’t want to see you,” he stopped for a moment taking all the strength he had left he continued, “If you really love me please leave.”
_____________________________________________________________________
sorry for the very late update. i am so busy catching up with my real life.
and sorry for not replying comments. i'll try my best to replied them later.
thanks a lot for reading and commenting :)