[Oneshot] Emptiness - Ohmiya
Title: [oneshot] Emptiness
Author: ica_90
Pairing: [broken] Ohmiya, [friend] Yama, Aimiya, [one-sided] Juntoshi, NinoXMaru [Just because i'm bias]
Genre: mild angst
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "you have yound your happiness now, OO. and i'm not your happiness"
Disclaimer: for this one, please let Maru own Nino and vice versa, please. //silly plot is mine//
Note: unbeta
“I heard, Nino with Maru now,”
He isn’t supposed to feel hurt. He has no right. But why is it when Sho tell him that simple sentence hurt him more than he thought it could?
******
Ohno didn’t know where it goes wrong. They know they love each other. They know how much they’re meant for each other. But time just never cooperating with their relation anymore. They’ve became busy by the schedule, by the same time, they demand each other. And when they can’t fulfil their own desire, they just decided to end it.
Wrong. It’s not they. Ohno decides it. Nino always against it.
“even for 5 minutes, oh-chan. Can’t you make some time for me?” but Ohno couldn’t opened his eyes anymore. He droves to sleep without even replying the younger one’s request. And he never even tried to bother about his lover anymore.
And there is Jun, who understand him more than everyone else. The one who is less demanding. Of course Jun won’t demand him for more. They’re nothing, just a band mates. Or that’s what jun thoughts, while ohno thinks of another way round.
Everyday it felt like a nuisance. Nino’s smile couldn’t calm him anymore. And the bratty attitude just makes everything worst. Without he realizing it, he has stop loving the man like he used to. He has fall in love with jun in which he discover later was having a serious relationship with a woman.
Jun even say it’s impossible for him to fall in love with ohno because he couldn’t betray nino trust. But he will always be there for ohno when he needed him. The feeling for Jun he has ended without even being returned. But nothing he do to make it right between both him and nino again. Ohno could only chuckle of his own stupidity.
And when one night, when they fought about how close ohno was to jun, ohno just blurt out a line that he regrets it for the rest of his life.
“i think we should break up,” he said, sounded so cold, merciless, piercing the heart of the young man.
Nino tried. Ohno could see it how hard he tried from breaking that damn of tears. But in the end he couldn’t. In the end, the man just let the tears flow freely on his face. His mouths produce incoherent words which ohno could guess how hurt the man is. And when he think about it again, ohno realized what was nino said that night.
“that’s it?” he asked, voice breaking as he utter the question. “these past 10 years to you was meaningless to you isn’t it? You sounded so fine, so happy to break everything we have now,”
“that’s not it, Nino,” he said, desperately trying to find another reason to lie to everything that Nino has said. “i- i just-“
“you’ve found your happiness now oh-chan. And i am not that happiness,”
It took a brief moment of silent, quietly staring at each other before Nino heave a sigh, wiping the tears that messily spread all over his face. But the tears just don’t stop from falling and Nino hates it. It was like showing to the man how he was his strength and the end of their relation weakened him. Refuse to take another look at the man, he walked passed Ohno, lowering his sight from meeting the man before he took his car key with him, leaving Ohno alone in their 10 years shared house.
Ohno sighs. Only if he wasn’t selfish enough that night, he sure he’ll went to the man, wiped the man tears and tell him he’s just joking before took him into his embrace, kiss him on his forehead. But ohno didn’t do all those things. Instead, he let Nino leaved not even bother to stop him from leaving.
But it wasn’t that easy for Nino.
Ohno hated it. How nino was still clingy onto him in the greenroom. Or when that stop, nino still tried to show him how hard it was for him to move on from Ohno.
Ohno felt it stupid though. He felt that when a relation ends, everything should died as well. The feeling, the love, hurt, memories. That’s why he found it stupid when he saw how nino was still cling on the past of them. He has moved on, why can’t nino?
“you should move on,” he told the man in the greenroom when they were alone one day. Nino who’s trying to ignore the presence of the older man paused his game, staring endlessly on the screen.
They’ve been living together for years. Reading nino was like reading an opened books. Hence he could feel, the moment nino replies him, the words sounds nothing other than hurt. But still he did nothing to at least stop the bleeding wound on the man’s heart.
“i will... oh-chan... give me some time,” the man said only to receive nothing as replies. He played his game again, trying to ignore the pain inside him, promise himself that he will never fall in love with any other person again.
Watching nino to move on pain him. Especially when he saw the look nino gave when he talks to jun, or invite the youngest for a dinner together. Heck, it can be count by hand on how much they spend their night having dinner outside.
Or when he accidently heard aiba and sho’s conversation on how nino’s just get wasted one night, blabbering on how jerk ohno has been to him, leaving him when there’s nothing, no one other than him in his mind and heart. He knew he has caused so many damage on the man’s heart, but he couldn’t find a way to fall for the man again.
He didn’t know how to act all romantic to the man, to spoil him or to tell him in a way that would ensure nino of how much he loves him. And he knows that’s the reason why the man demands for more. He felt insecure. Nino just wants an assurance. But he couldn’t give Nino all those things. Because he just doesn’t know how.
And it annoys him.
He kept on watching the younger man trying to move on from him. Putting some space between them, Nino spends lesser and lesser time with him. Not only time. The touch, the look, the smile, attention, everything for him has started to decrease from time to time. Ohno didn’t notice when it was suddenly stop, but one thing sure, when it happened there’s a jolt of emptiness filled inside him. And without him realizing it, he started longing for everything.
But Nino has move on. And he will never get another chance for it. Not when someone came, willingly to heal the bleeding wound of Nino’s heart.
“i actually like Ninomiya-kun,” That was the time when he started to lose Nino.
At first, ohno thought it was merely a jokes created by Maru just for the sake of entertainment. But while the others were laughing over maru blunt confession and nino’s shy face hearing those confession, he couldn’t bring himself even a smile. The sharp stab on his heart confused him as hell. Pain, jealousy, annoyed mix as one as he started to lose interest.
And when it started to get ridiculous, he couldn’t contain his anger as he yelled out “you’re being grossed! Look at him now!”. But deep inside him was hoping that maru will never lay an eye on his ex-lover. And that makes him confuse even more.
Nino gave him a deep frown as they finished the recording of the episode. But they didn’t say a word. Even when they’re alone in the greenroom, no one tried to break the silent they create. Nino heaved a sigh before grabbing his stuff, leaving him alone in the room. And ohno never know that his choice to remain silent that day was another big mistake in his life.
****
“I heard, Nino with Maru now,”
A year since that first episode. 3 months since the second time Maru guest on their show again. Those period was the hardest for nino, Ohno knews it.
He overheard the conversation between nino and aiba one day, but maybe his ego conquer him.
“You should try to date maru,”
“Don’t talk like he’s something that you can try on. He’s not clothes that you can wear when you want and throw away when you’re done with it,” nino snort annoyingly.
“i don’t mean it that way, nino,” aiba paused. “but how long are you going to be tied to the past?”
“you mean, ohno-san?” nino chuckled. “I’ve move on from the one who doesn’t has a heart on me, aiba-chan,”
“Liar,” aiba mocks him. “Don’t snap on me, you idiot. We’ve been friend for years. I know how you glance at oh-chan when he asked jun-kun for an out,”
“You-“
“Deny it. Look directly into my eyes and tell me that i am wrong,”
Silent. Ohno tries to peek into the room to see nino sighing.
“maybe...maybe i still have a little heart on him. But that doesn’t mean i want to get back to him,”
“that’s the reason why i ask you to give maru a chance. Maybe that’ll help you to move on better. Besides, he is sincere. Jun-kun agrees with it. Sho-chan too,”
Nino sighed. Ohno could see how the man was staring aimlessly before he replied Aiba’s with frustrating, confused shown in his voice.
“i don’t want him to feel he’s being wasted by me later, Aiba-chan. He’s a good guy and i know how suck it is thinking that your love was just meaningless to the one who you love most,”
Ohno took a peek inside of the greenroom and he saw aiba smiles at Nino, patting him on the shoulders.
“i’m sure maru won’t waste you. And i’m sure you’ll make it for sure. Just give him a chance, will you?”
It took Nino a moment of silent before he hesitantly nod to Aiba’s words. And that was the moment, ohno sure, he has lost nino forever.
“ohno-kun,” sho called him, startling him from his trail of thoughts. “Are you ok?”
He nodded. A lie.
“i’m fine,” another lie. “so he’s with maru now, huh,”
Ohno hates it how sho looks at him. Those pity looks wasn’t what he needed at the moment.
But he wasn’t even sure what he needed too.
“i’m- i take my leave here,”
“But we just ordered,”
“you eat. I- i’m not hungry,” he said, storm out from the private room before going out of the shop. He just want to reach his house as soon as possible that he run his way towards the train station.
But not once he thoughts he’s gonna see another things that could turn his mind upside down.
Across the road, nino was walking out of the konbini, along with Maru. He could hear the laughs from the man even though they’re few metres away. The laughs that he rarely heard anymore. And he could see the way nino looks at maru, his eyes filled with happiness. That very same way nino once look at him, when they’re still a couple. When they are so madly in love with each other. And that’s when he felt a painful stab on his heart. A feel that was once forgotten. He keeps observing the new couple until their shadows faded away.
He could never understand it why. Between him and Nino, they’re no longer lover. Shouldn’t all the feels died too? But why is it felt so painful inside him watching nino is happy with someone else? Isn’t that was what he has asked?
The house felt so empty all of sudden. And when he moves into his room, it feels even emptier. He found it funny at first; how a small space felt emptier than a bigger one? All of sudden, it hit him so hard. It wasn’t empty because of the space, but he just lost something precious to him. Someone eventually. And it is indeed painful. The same feeling that Nino must have felt that night he left him.
He asked for nino to move on from him. But in the end, he’s the one who could not move on from their past
He laughed, at the same time trail of tears could be seen on his face. He was crying, of his own stupidity, of his lost for someone who loved him for his whole life before. And now that it happened, there’s no way of turning back, to make anything right for them again. What Nino has said a year before playing inside his mind for the rest of his night.
“you’ve found your happiness now oh-chan. And i am not that happiness,”
“but you’ve found your happiness now, Kazu. And i’m not that happiness,”
*******
He guesses, he will never love anyone else the same way they love each other before.
They’re so close. So understanding. They don’t have to speak, just a simple gesture will do. But due to his own stupidity, his own greediness, he lost everything in a blink of time.
He sighs, leaned his head at the sofa, trying to sleep just for the sake of forgetting or at least ignoring the pain in his heart when he heard the voice he missed most.
“you’re gonna get a back pain if you sleep like that,” nino said, smiling his brightest smile towards him. The smile that he has been misses to see.
He just smiles as a return.
“Waiting for manager-san?” he nodded. Nino shrugs. “we’re getting busy ne, oh-chan. It’s not only us. Manager-san too,”
Ohno shrugs.
“How are you, nino?” nino widen his eyes. Somehow, the question startles him that he slips fall the DS that he currently hold, fall near ohno’s feet. Nino tried to take it at the same time when ohno bend down to take it too that their hands touch each other.
It felt like burning to them that nino instantly takes away his hand from its current spot. Ohno too, but he tried to stay calm as he took the DS, giving it back to the gamer.
“Thank you...” nino paused. “i’m fine though. You’re changing topics all of sudden. And it’s kinda weird,”
Nino laughs, and ohno could only chuckle.
“on contrary, oh-chan, how are you?” ohno shrugs
“never better,” he answered simple.
He has promised himself that he will never meddle in nino’s life anymore. That man has find his own happiness, and he isn’t one of it. He chuckle when he remembered of the same exact line that nino said to him last time.
But he couldn’t help it. In the end, he just blurted out the words.
“Is he taking care of you?” Nino frowns.
“who are you talking about? ma-“ nino stopped. Then only Nino realized that maybe, ohno never know about it before. Of course, he kept it hidden. From everyone. Especially Ohno. He doesn’t know of the reason though.
“i’m sorry,” nino muttered sincerely. Ohno laughs.
“isn’t it another way round?” he stopped laughing. “i’m sorry, nino. I’ve took you for granted,”
Nino shrugs.
“Past is past. There’s no time machine to travel back to the past right. It’s fine,”
“but if there’s one, i would love too. so that i’ll smack myself in the past for making such a stupid decision,”
He managed to say those words in a very light manner. It manages to make the atmosphere to turn awkward. He sighs of relieved when he heard nino laughs.
“idiot,” Nino said, not taking his eyes from the screen.
Ohno could only agree to nino’s words in his mind. Indeed, he’s an idiot
The room fell silent afterwards. Just silent, only the sound of nino smashing the buttons of his DS was heard. And for once, Ohno would love to enjoy it again the silent they always create before. He always leaned his head on nino’s shoulder or another way round before. Somehow he missed it.
But before he could do so, few knocks was heard on the door, before the door was pushed opened and maru’s head peek in. Nino’s laughs afterwards pain him.
“ugly!” nino laughs as he throw his DS into his bag.
“yes. And this ugly man is coming to take you home,” Maru replied, earning him a hard smack on his head. He just chuckled afterwards. “Oh, hi oh-chan,” Ohno just waves back lazily.
“so ready to go home?” maru’s attention was back on Nino again. The gamer laughs.
“stop treating me like a child, idiot!”
“but you love it when i spoil you,”
“Not here!” nino replied, laughing along with his lover as they make their way out of the room.
“otsukare, oh-chan. See you tomorrow?”
The two left before ohno could replied with only a hum.
It felt so painful and again, the room felt so empty. As empty as his heart too. Without he realizing it, tears was falling down from his eyes.
“kazu... can’t you forgive me?”
He sobbed.
“please... come back,”
********************
“ne, sho-chan...,” Sho shook his head when Ohno chuckled as he gulp down a glass of beer in front him. “i’m so stupid aren’t i? I have him once and all i do was taking him for granted. I’m such an idiot am i?”
He took another glass of beer in front him and when the glass emptied, he put it hard onto the bar, tears falling from the corner of his eyes, falling on his hand.
Pain. Empty. It hurts. Slowly he turned to his band mate who was sitting next to him, his eyes half opened when he utter his request.
“Can you write a song for me, please? Write a song of my own stupidity. If you can’t, just write a piece of rap for me, please,” he said, pushing sho’s hand away from preventing him from pouring beer again into his own glass.
__________________________________________________________________
definitely a no sequel for this. because Maru deserves Nino for this one. just this one. actually, i was writing this with Tell me why as referrence, but, not as angsty as the lyric is /fail/
thanks a lot for everyone who reads this.
open this for a week
Author: ica_90
Pairing: [broken] Ohmiya, [friend] Yama, Aimiya, [one-sided] Juntoshi, NinoXMaru [Just because i'm bias]
Genre: mild angst
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "you have yound your happiness now, OO. and i'm not your happiness"
Disclaimer: for this one, please let Maru own Nino and vice versa, please. //silly plot is mine//
Note: unbeta
“I heard, Nino with Maru now,”
He isn’t supposed to feel hurt. He has no right. But why is it when Sho tell him that simple sentence hurt him more than he thought it could?
******
Ohno didn’t know where it goes wrong. They know they love each other. They know how much they’re meant for each other. But time just never cooperating with their relation anymore. They’ve became busy by the schedule, by the same time, they demand each other. And when they can’t fulfil their own desire, they just decided to end it.
Wrong. It’s not they. Ohno decides it. Nino always against it.
“even for 5 minutes, oh-chan. Can’t you make some time for me?” but Ohno couldn’t opened his eyes anymore. He droves to sleep without even replying the younger one’s request. And he never even tried to bother about his lover anymore.
And there is Jun, who understand him more than everyone else. The one who is less demanding. Of course Jun won’t demand him for more. They’re nothing, just a band mates. Or that’s what jun thoughts, while ohno thinks of another way round.
Everyday it felt like a nuisance. Nino’s smile couldn’t calm him anymore. And the bratty attitude just makes everything worst. Without he realizing it, he has stop loving the man like he used to. He has fall in love with jun in which he discover later was having a serious relationship with a woman.
Jun even say it’s impossible for him to fall in love with ohno because he couldn’t betray nino trust. But he will always be there for ohno when he needed him. The feeling for Jun he has ended without even being returned. But nothing he do to make it right between both him and nino again. Ohno could only chuckle of his own stupidity.
And when one night, when they fought about how close ohno was to jun, ohno just blurt out a line that he regrets it for the rest of his life.
“i think we should break up,” he said, sounded so cold, merciless, piercing the heart of the young man.
Nino tried. Ohno could see it how hard he tried from breaking that damn of tears. But in the end he couldn’t. In the end, the man just let the tears flow freely on his face. His mouths produce incoherent words which ohno could guess how hurt the man is. And when he think about it again, ohno realized what was nino said that night.
“that’s it?” he asked, voice breaking as he utter the question. “these past 10 years to you was meaningless to you isn’t it? You sounded so fine, so happy to break everything we have now,”
“that’s not it, Nino,” he said, desperately trying to find another reason to lie to everything that Nino has said. “i- i just-“
“you’ve found your happiness now oh-chan. And i am not that happiness,”
It took a brief moment of silent, quietly staring at each other before Nino heave a sigh, wiping the tears that messily spread all over his face. But the tears just don’t stop from falling and Nino hates it. It was like showing to the man how he was his strength and the end of their relation weakened him. Refuse to take another look at the man, he walked passed Ohno, lowering his sight from meeting the man before he took his car key with him, leaving Ohno alone in their 10 years shared house.
Ohno sighs. Only if he wasn’t selfish enough that night, he sure he’ll went to the man, wiped the man tears and tell him he’s just joking before took him into his embrace, kiss him on his forehead. But ohno didn’t do all those things. Instead, he let Nino leaved not even bother to stop him from leaving.
But it wasn’t that easy for Nino.
Ohno hated it. How nino was still clingy onto him in the greenroom. Or when that stop, nino still tried to show him how hard it was for him to move on from Ohno.
Ohno felt it stupid though. He felt that when a relation ends, everything should died as well. The feeling, the love, hurt, memories. That’s why he found it stupid when he saw how nino was still cling on the past of them. He has moved on, why can’t nino?
“you should move on,” he told the man in the greenroom when they were alone one day. Nino who’s trying to ignore the presence of the older man paused his game, staring endlessly on the screen.
They’ve been living together for years. Reading nino was like reading an opened books. Hence he could feel, the moment nino replies him, the words sounds nothing other than hurt. But still he did nothing to at least stop the bleeding wound on the man’s heart.
“i will... oh-chan... give me some time,” the man said only to receive nothing as replies. He played his game again, trying to ignore the pain inside him, promise himself that he will never fall in love with any other person again.
Watching nino to move on pain him. Especially when he saw the look nino gave when he talks to jun, or invite the youngest for a dinner together. Heck, it can be count by hand on how much they spend their night having dinner outside.
Or when he accidently heard aiba and sho’s conversation on how nino’s just get wasted one night, blabbering on how jerk ohno has been to him, leaving him when there’s nothing, no one other than him in his mind and heart. He knew he has caused so many damage on the man’s heart, but he couldn’t find a way to fall for the man again.
He didn’t know how to act all romantic to the man, to spoil him or to tell him in a way that would ensure nino of how much he loves him. And he knows that’s the reason why the man demands for more. He felt insecure. Nino just wants an assurance. But he couldn’t give Nino all those things. Because he just doesn’t know how.
And it annoys him.
He kept on watching the younger man trying to move on from him. Putting some space between them, Nino spends lesser and lesser time with him. Not only time. The touch, the look, the smile, attention, everything for him has started to decrease from time to time. Ohno didn’t notice when it was suddenly stop, but one thing sure, when it happened there’s a jolt of emptiness filled inside him. And without him realizing it, he started longing for everything.
But Nino has move on. And he will never get another chance for it. Not when someone came, willingly to heal the bleeding wound of Nino’s heart.
“i actually like Ninomiya-kun,” That was the time when he started to lose Nino.
At first, ohno thought it was merely a jokes created by Maru just for the sake of entertainment. But while the others were laughing over maru blunt confession and nino’s shy face hearing those confession, he couldn’t bring himself even a smile. The sharp stab on his heart confused him as hell. Pain, jealousy, annoyed mix as one as he started to lose interest.
And when it started to get ridiculous, he couldn’t contain his anger as he yelled out “you’re being grossed! Look at him now!”. But deep inside him was hoping that maru will never lay an eye on his ex-lover. And that makes him confuse even more.
Nino gave him a deep frown as they finished the recording of the episode. But they didn’t say a word. Even when they’re alone in the greenroom, no one tried to break the silent they create. Nino heaved a sigh before grabbing his stuff, leaving him alone in the room. And ohno never know that his choice to remain silent that day was another big mistake in his life.
****
“I heard, Nino with Maru now,”
A year since that first episode. 3 months since the second time Maru guest on their show again. Those period was the hardest for nino, Ohno knews it.
He overheard the conversation between nino and aiba one day, but maybe his ego conquer him.
“You should try to date maru,”
“Don’t talk like he’s something that you can try on. He’s not clothes that you can wear when you want and throw away when you’re done with it,” nino snort annoyingly.
“i don’t mean it that way, nino,” aiba paused. “but how long are you going to be tied to the past?”
“you mean, ohno-san?” nino chuckled. “I’ve move on from the one who doesn’t has a heart on me, aiba-chan,”
“Liar,” aiba mocks him. “Don’t snap on me, you idiot. We’ve been friend for years. I know how you glance at oh-chan when he asked jun-kun for an out,”
“You-“
“Deny it. Look directly into my eyes and tell me that i am wrong,”
Silent. Ohno tries to peek into the room to see nino sighing.
“maybe...maybe i still have a little heart on him. But that doesn’t mean i want to get back to him,”
“that’s the reason why i ask you to give maru a chance. Maybe that’ll help you to move on better. Besides, he is sincere. Jun-kun agrees with it. Sho-chan too,”
Nino sighed. Ohno could see how the man was staring aimlessly before he replied Aiba’s with frustrating, confused shown in his voice.
“i don’t want him to feel he’s being wasted by me later, Aiba-chan. He’s a good guy and i know how suck it is thinking that your love was just meaningless to the one who you love most,”
Ohno took a peek inside of the greenroom and he saw aiba smiles at Nino, patting him on the shoulders.
“i’m sure maru won’t waste you. And i’m sure you’ll make it for sure. Just give him a chance, will you?”
It took Nino a moment of silent before he hesitantly nod to Aiba’s words. And that was the moment, ohno sure, he has lost nino forever.
“ohno-kun,” sho called him, startling him from his trail of thoughts. “Are you ok?”
He nodded. A lie.
“i’m fine,” another lie. “so he’s with maru now, huh,”
Ohno hates it how sho looks at him. Those pity looks wasn’t what he needed at the moment.
But he wasn’t even sure what he needed too.
“i’m- i take my leave here,”
“But we just ordered,”
“you eat. I- i’m not hungry,” he said, storm out from the private room before going out of the shop. He just want to reach his house as soon as possible that he run his way towards the train station.
But not once he thoughts he’s gonna see another things that could turn his mind upside down.
Across the road, nino was walking out of the konbini, along with Maru. He could hear the laughs from the man even though they’re few metres away. The laughs that he rarely heard anymore. And he could see the way nino looks at maru, his eyes filled with happiness. That very same way nino once look at him, when they’re still a couple. When they are so madly in love with each other. And that’s when he felt a painful stab on his heart. A feel that was once forgotten. He keeps observing the new couple until their shadows faded away.
He could never understand it why. Between him and Nino, they’re no longer lover. Shouldn’t all the feels died too? But why is it felt so painful inside him watching nino is happy with someone else? Isn’t that was what he has asked?
The house felt so empty all of sudden. And when he moves into his room, it feels even emptier. He found it funny at first; how a small space felt emptier than a bigger one? All of sudden, it hit him so hard. It wasn’t empty because of the space, but he just lost something precious to him. Someone eventually. And it is indeed painful. The same feeling that Nino must have felt that night he left him.
He asked for nino to move on from him. But in the end, he’s the one who could not move on from their past
He laughed, at the same time trail of tears could be seen on his face. He was crying, of his own stupidity, of his lost for someone who loved him for his whole life before. And now that it happened, there’s no way of turning back, to make anything right for them again. What Nino has said a year before playing inside his mind for the rest of his night.
“you’ve found your happiness now oh-chan. And i am not that happiness,”
“but you’ve found your happiness now, Kazu. And i’m not that happiness,”
*******
He guesses, he will never love anyone else the same way they love each other before.
They’re so close. So understanding. They don’t have to speak, just a simple gesture will do. But due to his own stupidity, his own greediness, he lost everything in a blink of time.
He sighs, leaned his head at the sofa, trying to sleep just for the sake of forgetting or at least ignoring the pain in his heart when he heard the voice he missed most.
“you’re gonna get a back pain if you sleep like that,” nino said, smiling his brightest smile towards him. The smile that he has been misses to see.
He just smiles as a return.
“Waiting for manager-san?” he nodded. Nino shrugs. “we’re getting busy ne, oh-chan. It’s not only us. Manager-san too,”
Ohno shrugs.
“How are you, nino?” nino widen his eyes. Somehow, the question startles him that he slips fall the DS that he currently hold, fall near ohno’s feet. Nino tried to take it at the same time when ohno bend down to take it too that their hands touch each other.
It felt like burning to them that nino instantly takes away his hand from its current spot. Ohno too, but he tried to stay calm as he took the DS, giving it back to the gamer.
“Thank you...” nino paused. “i’m fine though. You’re changing topics all of sudden. And it’s kinda weird,”
Nino laughs, and ohno could only chuckle.
“on contrary, oh-chan, how are you?” ohno shrugs
“never better,” he answered simple.
He has promised himself that he will never meddle in nino’s life anymore. That man has find his own happiness, and he isn’t one of it. He chuckle when he remembered of the same exact line that nino said to him last time.
But he couldn’t help it. In the end, he just blurted out the words.
“Is he taking care of you?” Nino frowns.
“who are you talking about? ma-“ nino stopped. Then only Nino realized that maybe, ohno never know about it before. Of course, he kept it hidden. From everyone. Especially Ohno. He doesn’t know of the reason though.
“i’m sorry,” nino muttered sincerely. Ohno laughs.
“isn’t it another way round?” he stopped laughing. “i’m sorry, nino. I’ve took you for granted,”
Nino shrugs.
“Past is past. There’s no time machine to travel back to the past right. It’s fine,”
“but if there’s one, i would love too. so that i’ll smack myself in the past for making such a stupid decision,”
He managed to say those words in a very light manner. It manages to make the atmosphere to turn awkward. He sighs of relieved when he heard nino laughs.
“idiot,” Nino said, not taking his eyes from the screen.
Ohno could only agree to nino’s words in his mind. Indeed, he’s an idiot
The room fell silent afterwards. Just silent, only the sound of nino smashing the buttons of his DS was heard. And for once, Ohno would love to enjoy it again the silent they always create before. He always leaned his head on nino’s shoulder or another way round before. Somehow he missed it.
But before he could do so, few knocks was heard on the door, before the door was pushed opened and maru’s head peek in. Nino’s laughs afterwards pain him.
“ugly!” nino laughs as he throw his DS into his bag.
“yes. And this ugly man is coming to take you home,” Maru replied, earning him a hard smack on his head. He just chuckled afterwards. “Oh, hi oh-chan,” Ohno just waves back lazily.
“so ready to go home?” maru’s attention was back on Nino again. The gamer laughs.
“stop treating me like a child, idiot!”
“but you love it when i spoil you,”
“Not here!” nino replied, laughing along with his lover as they make their way out of the room.
“otsukare, oh-chan. See you tomorrow?”
The two left before ohno could replied with only a hum.
It felt so painful and again, the room felt so empty. As empty as his heart too. Without he realizing it, tears was falling down from his eyes.
“kazu... can’t you forgive me?”
He sobbed.
“please... come back,”
********************
“ne, sho-chan...,” Sho shook his head when Ohno chuckled as he gulp down a glass of beer in front him. “i’m so stupid aren’t i? I have him once and all i do was taking him for granted. I’m such an idiot am i?”
He took another glass of beer in front him and when the glass emptied, he put it hard onto the bar, tears falling from the corner of his eyes, falling on his hand.
Pain. Empty. It hurts. Slowly he turned to his band mate who was sitting next to him, his eyes half opened when he utter his request.
“Can you write a song for me, please? Write a song of my own stupidity. If you can’t, just write a piece of rap for me, please,” he said, pushing sho’s hand away from preventing him from pouring beer again into his own glass.
__________________________________________________________________
definitely a no sequel for this. because Maru deserves Nino for this one. just this one. actually, i was writing this with Tell me why as referrence, but, not as angsty as the lyric is /fail/
thanks a lot for everyone who reads this.
open this for a week