[ongoing] what we lost [3/8]
Title: What we lost (3/8)
Author: ica_90
Pairing: Ohmiya, some other pairing later
Genre: Angst, AU
Summary: Losing their child in an accident, Nino started to distance himself from Ohno in which Ohno never knows why.
Disclaimer: ohmiya own each other. Enough said
A/N: unbeta. Drop the drabble. Just ongoing~~
CHAPTER 3
He wonders why he keeps staying when all he received for this past 2 month was just a cold attitude from the man.
Nino seems to avoid any possible contact with him as hard as he can. Just when he came back from work, Nino will snort annoyingly, before throw his game console heading to their son’s bedroom and lock himself there. It is always the same routine.
Nino is mad at him. That’s obvious. But Ohno never knows why. For what reason? He wanted to ask, but every single time he want to, Nino will just avoid from talking to him.
It kills him when one day, Nino finally talk again, to everyone but him. The man will smile to everyone, speaks normally though Ohno could still sense sadness in his voice. But that was to everyone. To him, Nino keeps on with his cold attitude. The last time they had one was just a heated conversation.
And for once, he feels like giving up.
Maybe letting Nino go will brings the man happiness than staying. But Ohno couldn’t find a reason why would the man feels that their relation was a nuisance to have one. They used to be a happy family. Despite Nino hesitancy on having a child before. 10 years of living together, 9 years along with their child, Ohno couldn’t find a moment that any of them feels bad for being a family.
Yes, there’s someone trying to destroy the happiness. His boss, the beautiful elegant woman who came from an influenced family. She’ll do anything to get whatever she wants, and never once she failed, except for Ohno.
He loves Nino with the whole of his life. No one in the world will change his love for the man, and the woman was nothing in his eyes. He manages to get away from her no matter what she tried to do to have Ohno in his life.
Not even now.
“What should I do, Sho-kun?” he asks, not bother to wipe his tears from his messy face. He’s been crying silently, involuntarily. Thinking about the things happened between him and Nino now depressed him. He never wants to lose Nino, but he couldn’t do a thing when all the effort came from him alone.
Sho rubs his back a few times, trying to calm him down when he choke on his drink. It has been the third night that both him and Ohno in the same bar, hearing the same “what should I do?” or “maybe it’s better to agree to his request” from the man.
Of course, he knows both Nino and Ohno for years. Ever since they’re in college. He knows how much the two loves each other. There’s so many things had happened between them. Sho remembered how one night when Nino came to his house, telling his parent has chase him out right after he told them that he loves Ohno. And Ohno came afterwards telling the same thing about his family.
Their relation was build without their parent consent. Sho witness too how hard was their life after that, when both of them has to do their part time job to support their college fees, but at the same time happily support each others. To Ohno, Nino is his life, so does the Nino.
Having Shin in their life was a bless, when one day, a year after Shin was born and the couple took their son out for shopping, they met Ohno’s mum. Her tensed stare turned into a soft one when he saw the child in Nino’s hand, breaking the ice between them.
“we take him in,” was what Ohno said when his mum approached them, her hand instinctively reach the baby’s face, caressing him lightly.
“cute… just like the two of you,” there’s tears waiting to fall from her eyes, and Sho saw the same in Ohno’s father as well.
“it’s a lab thing. I don’t really understand that though,” nino can’t help chuckling hearing the man mumbles, but stop abruptly when the three of them was taken into the woman’s embrace.
“I miss you… please come back,”
For a moment, none of them said anything. It took him a while before Ohno pushed his mother soft; a little hesitate in his action.
“kaa-chan… I can’t do that. I’m… with Kazu, he’s my everything. I love him. And I love you too. But I can’t leave Kazu alone. Not when we have a child together now,”
“Then came back. The three of you. I was wrong before. I’m sorry. I’m so stupid to not being able see my son happiness. But now I see how your decision has leaded you a happy life. Just come back. I miss my son,”
And Sho sure, the happiness they have before was even meaningful. Ohno’s family took Nino just like their own son, and for once Nino sure he made a right decision even his family never accept him again in their life. He knew he can rely on the Ohno from the moment onwards.
But that was before. Ninomiya Kazunari that he used to know is no longer one. It makes him curious but that wasn’t what he cares about. The fact that the man had change has cause his best friend to suffer, and it makes him wonder what had happened before that makes Nino to change that much.
“what should I do, Sho-kun? I can’t- I don’t want to lose him. But every single day waking up without him by my side kills me. It’s hurts when all we create now is nothing other than distance. What should I do?” he is in despair. The emotions that he’s been trying to hold inside burst out. He was lost, unable to figure out the reason why to all the cold treatment he received or trying to solve whatever problem he has.
Slowly, Sho took him into his embrace, rubbing his back, trying to calm him down. All that left from the Ohno’s mouth was just sobs. He misses every single happy memory he has with Nino keeps appearing in his mind and the pain he feels inside his heart grow unbearable.
“what have I done that makes me received such treatment, Sho-kun? Why can’t he say it to me?”
Sho feels lost as well. There’s nothing inside his head that can come out with an answer.
Ohno needs an answer. But the answer wasn’t from him. It’s from Nino. Unless the two speaks whatever they had in them, nothing will be solve.
“You should try talking to him, Satoshi-kun. Maybe there’s something he saw, or heard that makes him to change,”
“But he doesn’t want to talk to me,”
For a while, Sho says nothing. The man is crying messily in his embrace and he is feeling useless of the thought of not being helping. All that he can do is calming him down, but come out with nothing as a solution or suggestion. And when he does, Sho knows it means nothing much.
“Try, Satoshi-kun. I know you love him. And I know there’s a spot for you in him. Talk to him. You guys needs to come clear with whatever you keep inside,”
“But…”
“I think.. This is just my opinion, Ohno-kun. Maybe Nino is having an internal conflicts. Maybe he things that he’s the reason to your son death, and he keeps blaming himself. Or maybe he thought after what had happened, you’ll never love him again,”
“But I’m not! I love him!” Ohno snaps, pushing himself away from the man. “I love him. I rather die than hating him, Sho-kun! After all we’ve gone through…”
“That’s why you need to talk. Maybe force him to have a conversation. Not really a force, just talk to him even though he doesn’t want to. It’s much better for you to make it fast, before he planted whatever thought he had in mind forever,”
For a while, Ohno keeps staring at his best friend. There’s indeed something right in Sho’s words. and the suggestion that Sho said to him, maybe he should tried it. If Nino doesn’t want to talk maybe he should start one.
Slowly, he averted his gaze away from his bestfriend. The two drink in silent for quite a time, before Ohno decided to take a leave. Putting some notes on the bar, he walks out heading home, feeling determine to find out the reason why of Nino’s cold attitude, or maybe some explanation, convincing the man that he loves Nino with his whole heart, even until the end of his life.
But he never thought that it will ever be that hard.
The moment he opened the door to the apartment, he is surprised to see Nino is sitting at the couch. The house is quiet as always, it has been the same since the past two months. But that doesn’t really disturb him. The one that did is the cold disgusted smirk on Nino’s lips.
“Having a good night?”
Ohno shows nothing as a respond.
“I should have know, that you’ve bored of me,”
“Nino, what-“
“Stop playing dumb Satoshi! Tell me. how much is it will make you satisfied? How many girls do you need? Or how many men do have to fuck until you satisfied?”
“What-“
“I TOLD YOU TO STOP PLAYING DUMB! Do you think I have no eyes? I saw it everything. How you flirt with a girl the other day. and now, it’s Sho-kun? Seriously. How much are you trying to make me disgust of you?”
He rushes towards the man side, his hand grabbing the man arms, trying to calming whatever rage in the man now. But Nino struggles succeed to break free from his grips.
“Kazu… I never…”
“Don’t touch me!” he snaps, throwing him a disgust look. “You’re disgusting,” Nino said, moving away from his spot, heading to their son’s bedroom as always. But halfway, he stops.
“How long do you intend to keep me when you have no interest on me anymore, Satoshi?” he asks cold, not bother to take a look at his partner. He didn’t wait for Ohno to answer though as he walks as fast he could to the room, slamming the door before locking it from inside.
Ohno sighs. For once, he feels useless. He wants to give up, but the thought of living his life without Nino is killing him. He can’t. He found it’s impossible for him to let the man go. He doesn’t want to.
The pain inside his chest burns with all the thoughts. He could feels tears flowing on his cheeks, but his hand feels so weak to wipe it away. in the end, he just let it be as he weeps silently.
God, I want to ask for your help, but I don’t know of what should I pray to you? I give up. I can’t hold it anymore. There’re so many things that I want. For him to open up to me again. for us being us again. but.. have you bored of me? Because none of my prays were answered. What should I do? I turn to you now, God. Please help me.
He keeps crying silently until he falls asleep at the sofa.
___________________________________________________________________________________
note: so, someone asks me why i love making break up ohmiya fic when i said i love them the most. i wonder that too, but maybe i last night i came up with a conclusion. maybe because i haven't found a relation with happy ending near me, and some things happened around me nowadays, i feel that maybe that's what influenced me most when writing... but anyway, i promise i'll give this one a happy ending. after all, there's another 2 chaptered ohmiya fic coming up later, and from my plot, it's going to be not a happy ending.
as for this fic, the reason why nino behave this way, you'll find it at the end of chapter 5 and elaborate more in chapter 6. so.. yoroshiku~
Author: ica_90
Pairing: Ohmiya, some other pairing later
Genre: Angst, AU
Summary: Losing their child in an accident, Nino started to distance himself from Ohno in which Ohno never knows why.
Disclaimer: ohmiya own each other. Enough said
A/N: unbeta. Drop the drabble. Just ongoing~~
CHAPTER 3
He wonders why he keeps staying when all he received for this past 2 month was just a cold attitude from the man.
Nino seems to avoid any possible contact with him as hard as he can. Just when he came back from work, Nino will snort annoyingly, before throw his game console heading to their son’s bedroom and lock himself there. It is always the same routine.
Nino is mad at him. That’s obvious. But Ohno never knows why. For what reason? He wanted to ask, but every single time he want to, Nino will just avoid from talking to him.
It kills him when one day, Nino finally talk again, to everyone but him. The man will smile to everyone, speaks normally though Ohno could still sense sadness in his voice. But that was to everyone. To him, Nino keeps on with his cold attitude. The last time they had one was just a heated conversation.
And for once, he feels like giving up.
Maybe letting Nino go will brings the man happiness than staying. But Ohno couldn’t find a reason why would the man feels that their relation was a nuisance to have one. They used to be a happy family. Despite Nino hesitancy on having a child before. 10 years of living together, 9 years along with their child, Ohno couldn’t find a moment that any of them feels bad for being a family.
Yes, there’s someone trying to destroy the happiness. His boss, the beautiful elegant woman who came from an influenced family. She’ll do anything to get whatever she wants, and never once she failed, except for Ohno.
He loves Nino with the whole of his life. No one in the world will change his love for the man, and the woman was nothing in his eyes. He manages to get away from her no matter what she tried to do to have Ohno in his life.
Not even now.
“What should I do, Sho-kun?” he asks, not bother to wipe his tears from his messy face. He’s been crying silently, involuntarily. Thinking about the things happened between him and Nino now depressed him. He never wants to lose Nino, but he couldn’t do a thing when all the effort came from him alone.
Sho rubs his back a few times, trying to calm him down when he choke on his drink. It has been the third night that both him and Ohno in the same bar, hearing the same “what should I do?” or “maybe it’s better to agree to his request” from the man.
Of course, he knows both Nino and Ohno for years. Ever since they’re in college. He knows how much the two loves each other. There’s so many things had happened between them. Sho remembered how one night when Nino came to his house, telling his parent has chase him out right after he told them that he loves Ohno. And Ohno came afterwards telling the same thing about his family.
Their relation was build without their parent consent. Sho witness too how hard was their life after that, when both of them has to do their part time job to support their college fees, but at the same time happily support each others. To Ohno, Nino is his life, so does the Nino.
Having Shin in their life was a bless, when one day, a year after Shin was born and the couple took their son out for shopping, they met Ohno’s mum. Her tensed stare turned into a soft one when he saw the child in Nino’s hand, breaking the ice between them.
“we take him in,” was what Ohno said when his mum approached them, her hand instinctively reach the baby’s face, caressing him lightly.
“cute… just like the two of you,” there’s tears waiting to fall from her eyes, and Sho saw the same in Ohno’s father as well.
“it’s a lab thing. I don’t really understand that though,” nino can’t help chuckling hearing the man mumbles, but stop abruptly when the three of them was taken into the woman’s embrace.
“I miss you… please come back,”
For a moment, none of them said anything. It took him a while before Ohno pushed his mother soft; a little hesitate in his action.
“kaa-chan… I can’t do that. I’m… with Kazu, he’s my everything. I love him. And I love you too. But I can’t leave Kazu alone. Not when we have a child together now,”
“Then came back. The three of you. I was wrong before. I’m sorry. I’m so stupid to not being able see my son happiness. But now I see how your decision has leaded you a happy life. Just come back. I miss my son,”
And Sho sure, the happiness they have before was even meaningful. Ohno’s family took Nino just like their own son, and for once Nino sure he made a right decision even his family never accept him again in their life. He knew he can rely on the Ohno from the moment onwards.
But that was before. Ninomiya Kazunari that he used to know is no longer one. It makes him curious but that wasn’t what he cares about. The fact that the man had change has cause his best friend to suffer, and it makes him wonder what had happened before that makes Nino to change that much.
“what should I do, Sho-kun? I can’t- I don’t want to lose him. But every single day waking up without him by my side kills me. It’s hurts when all we create now is nothing other than distance. What should I do?” he is in despair. The emotions that he’s been trying to hold inside burst out. He was lost, unable to figure out the reason why to all the cold treatment he received or trying to solve whatever problem he has.
Slowly, Sho took him into his embrace, rubbing his back, trying to calm him down. All that left from the Ohno’s mouth was just sobs. He misses every single happy memory he has with Nino keeps appearing in his mind and the pain he feels inside his heart grow unbearable.
“what have I done that makes me received such treatment, Sho-kun? Why can’t he say it to me?”
Sho feels lost as well. There’s nothing inside his head that can come out with an answer.
Ohno needs an answer. But the answer wasn’t from him. It’s from Nino. Unless the two speaks whatever they had in them, nothing will be solve.
“You should try talking to him, Satoshi-kun. Maybe there’s something he saw, or heard that makes him to change,”
“But he doesn’t want to talk to me,”
For a while, Sho says nothing. The man is crying messily in his embrace and he is feeling useless of the thought of not being helping. All that he can do is calming him down, but come out with nothing as a solution or suggestion. And when he does, Sho knows it means nothing much.
“Try, Satoshi-kun. I know you love him. And I know there’s a spot for you in him. Talk to him. You guys needs to come clear with whatever you keep inside,”
“But…”
“I think.. This is just my opinion, Ohno-kun. Maybe Nino is having an internal conflicts. Maybe he things that he’s the reason to your son death, and he keeps blaming himself. Or maybe he thought after what had happened, you’ll never love him again,”
“But I’m not! I love him!” Ohno snaps, pushing himself away from the man. “I love him. I rather die than hating him, Sho-kun! After all we’ve gone through…”
“That’s why you need to talk. Maybe force him to have a conversation. Not really a force, just talk to him even though he doesn’t want to. It’s much better for you to make it fast, before he planted whatever thought he had in mind forever,”
For a while, Ohno keeps staring at his best friend. There’s indeed something right in Sho’s words. and the suggestion that Sho said to him, maybe he should tried it. If Nino doesn’t want to talk maybe he should start one.
Slowly, he averted his gaze away from his bestfriend. The two drink in silent for quite a time, before Ohno decided to take a leave. Putting some notes on the bar, he walks out heading home, feeling determine to find out the reason why of Nino’s cold attitude, or maybe some explanation, convincing the man that he loves Nino with his whole heart, even until the end of his life.
But he never thought that it will ever be that hard.
The moment he opened the door to the apartment, he is surprised to see Nino is sitting at the couch. The house is quiet as always, it has been the same since the past two months. But that doesn’t really disturb him. The one that did is the cold disgusted smirk on Nino’s lips.
“Having a good night?”
Ohno shows nothing as a respond.
“I should have know, that you’ve bored of me,”
“Nino, what-“
“Stop playing dumb Satoshi! Tell me. how much is it will make you satisfied? How many girls do you need? Or how many men do have to fuck until you satisfied?”
“What-“
“I TOLD YOU TO STOP PLAYING DUMB! Do you think I have no eyes? I saw it everything. How you flirt with a girl the other day. and now, it’s Sho-kun? Seriously. How much are you trying to make me disgust of you?”
He rushes towards the man side, his hand grabbing the man arms, trying to calming whatever rage in the man now. But Nino struggles succeed to break free from his grips.
“Kazu… I never…”
“Don’t touch me!” he snaps, throwing him a disgust look. “You’re disgusting,” Nino said, moving away from his spot, heading to their son’s bedroom as always. But halfway, he stops.
“How long do you intend to keep me when you have no interest on me anymore, Satoshi?” he asks cold, not bother to take a look at his partner. He didn’t wait for Ohno to answer though as he walks as fast he could to the room, slamming the door before locking it from inside.
Ohno sighs. For once, he feels useless. He wants to give up, but the thought of living his life without Nino is killing him. He can’t. He found it’s impossible for him to let the man go. He doesn’t want to.
The pain inside his chest burns with all the thoughts. He could feels tears flowing on his cheeks, but his hand feels so weak to wipe it away. in the end, he just let it be as he weeps silently.
God, I want to ask for your help, but I don’t know of what should I pray to you? I give up. I can’t hold it anymore. There’re so many things that I want. For him to open up to me again. for us being us again. but.. have you bored of me? Because none of my prays were answered. What should I do? I turn to you now, God. Please help me.
He keeps crying silently until he falls asleep at the sofa.
___________________________________________________________________________________
note: so, someone asks me why i love making break up ohmiya fic when i said i love them the most. i wonder that too, but maybe i last night i came up with a conclusion. maybe because i haven't found a relation with happy ending near me, and some things happened around me nowadays, i feel that maybe that's what influenced me most when writing... but anyway, i promise i'll give this one a happy ending. after all, there's another 2 chaptered ohmiya fic coming up later, and from my plot, it's going to be not a happy ending.
as for this fic, the reason why nino behave this way, you'll find it at the end of chapter 5 and elaborate more in chapter 6. so.. yoroshiku~