[Shakes his head a second time and can't help but laugh. Though there's a weird, high-pitched quality to it.]
I don't blame you, you knucklehead. I wanted out of the hellhole,too. ... I guess I wasn't entirely realistic about what that'd entail. Sort of overly-optimistic that we'd find something that'd work for everyone. Delusional may even be the word.
[He's become a bit more subdued and is looking at a point past Neil's head rather than looking him in the eyes.]
But you're here now. I'm guessing that means you're... okay? [He seemed to still exist, at least, which was some comfort.]
A little weird, yeah. But I'm still glad to have it.
[Sorry, Lyle isn't gonna get out of this one that east. Neil is suddenly very serious, and looks a little sad, but not for lack of trying to hide it. Really, he wants to be serious about this without getting too emotional.]
I'm really glad I got to get to know you again. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to do it sooner. All those years, it was really hard to stay away, you know. And I know you resented me for it. But you can understand it now. I..
[He takes a deep breath, and starts again, recomposed.]
You can go back now, yeah? Have a good life. Even if it wasn't the one I wanted for you, I know you can take care of yourself.
[Well, damn, so much for lifting the mood. But it's just as well, because yes, this shouldn't be brushed off.]
Yeah... [Not really an eloquent response but Lyle is really out of his depth right now. And what Neil said was true enough that it was hard to add anything. It was good to reconnect and Lyle had resented him for nearly disappearing off the face of the earth.]
It's true I did resent you... but honestly I've not been much better. I've run from a lot of things in my life. [He leaves it implied that Neil was one of those things, since he's sure his brother knows.]
[And here... he can't help it, he looks touched. For one thing, Neil finally gets it; that he can take care of himself. For another... well, the wishing of a good life is bittersweet since Neil no longer has any of his own to look forward to.]
...I'll make the most of it. I can promise that much.
[Lyle's hand had fallen from Neil's shoulder moments ago when his twin got serious, but now it's extended forward in offer of a handshake--possibly as a non-verbal way
( ... )
[And he smiled, reaching out his hand to meet his brother, but instead of shaking it he pulled his brother into a big bear hug, patting him on the back just hard enough.]
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...Goddamn it.
[Not quite sure what emotion to go with right now, and it kind of shows on his face.]
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But I won't blame you if you can't.
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I don't blame you, you knucklehead. I wanted out of the hellhole,too. ... I guess I wasn't entirely realistic about what that'd entail. Sort of overly-optimistic that we'd find something that'd work for everyone. Delusional may even be the word.
[He's become a bit more subdued and is looking at a point past Neil's head rather than looking him in the eyes.]
But you're here now. I'm guessing that means you're... okay? [He seemed to still exist, at least, which was some comfort.]
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I've got a feeling it won't last. Call it a hunch.
Either way, I won't be able to go back. But I'm glad I got some extra time.
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...This was so much easier when they had been separated for 10 years and he really didn't have much of an idea what Neil was like anymore.]
Jesus, Neil...
[Hesitates for a moment then puts a hand on his brother's shoulder. Because the chance may not come again. In a quiet voice he says:]
...Y'know, people always regret when they don't have a chance to say goodbye. But when you actually do get it, it's damned weird.
[Odd quirking of a half-smile. Yes, he had to make a bit of a joke because things are just getting a bit too serious for him.]
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[Sorry, Lyle isn't gonna get out of this one that east. Neil is suddenly very serious, and looks a little sad, but not for lack of trying to hide it. Really, he wants to be serious about this without getting too emotional.]
I'm really glad I got to get to know you again. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to do it sooner. All those years, it was really hard to stay away, you know. And I know you resented me for it. But you can understand it now. I..
[He takes a deep breath, and starts again, recomposed.]
You can go back now, yeah? Have a good life. Even if it wasn't the one I wanted for you, I know you can take care of yourself.
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Yeah... [Not really an eloquent response but Lyle is really out of his depth right now. And what Neil said was true enough that it was hard to add anything. It was good to reconnect and Lyle had resented him for nearly disappearing off the face of the earth.]
It's true I did resent you... but honestly I've not been much better. I've run from a lot of things in my life. [He leaves it implied that Neil was one of those things, since he's sure his brother knows.]
[And here... he can't help it, he looks touched. For one thing, Neil finally gets it; that he can take care of himself. For another... well, the wishing of a good life is bittersweet since Neil no longer has any of his own to look forward to.]
...I'll make the most of it. I can promise that much.
[Lyle's hand had fallen from Neil's shoulder moments ago when his twin got serious, but now it's extended forward in offer of a handshake--possibly as a non-verbal way ( ... )
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[And he smiled, reaching out his hand to meet his brother, but instead of shaking it he pulled his brother into a big bear hug, patting him on the back just hard enough.]
I love ya, bro.
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...But he won't protest it. It's the only time it'll happen, a last chance... and if anyone says anything about it, well, fuck 'em.]
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