Jun 10, 2004 20:45
Well I'm just taking a break from studying my Econ and My Poli Sci finals. 24 hours until my last day of school. Thank god, then I have a 2 week break then summer school for 6 weeks. Next week is Laura and I one month on June 17th. She leaves town on June 20th through the 27th. She'll miss my 21st birthday :'(, but I can't stop her from going cause she enjoys the trip and I don't wanna ruin it for her.
9:15 am, the clock will start and I will have 1 hour for my Poli Sci final. That 1 hour will determine if I will pass or take the class over. I've been working hard so that I won't have to take the class over. This situation isn't new to me. I did it for my Fall '03 semester when I was placed in English 1C honors by mistake and I was on the border line of not passing, but I passed!!! So could my magic work again? Or will it run out tomorrow? Only faith will tell.
Right now I feel like I'm in a middle of a warzone. A warzone between my girlfriend Laura (who I care about and love) and my ex Ashley. I mean not like the fist fight type of fighting, but with fighting words. I hope it doesn't get out of control or else hell will break loose. If it does get out of control, I know where I would stand. Plus, there are some people that I have to deal with. People have either started rumors about me (which happened at North already and I want to kill the person who started that rumor about me) or have lied/stabbed me in the back. I'm a nice guy, what did I do to them? IT PISSES ME OFF WHEN PEOPLE EITHER LIE OR TALK SHIT ABOUT ME!!!
I don't know if I'll be able to take it when the time comes. I mean months ago, I had a nightmare where my brother die, I'm standing over his grave crying, with no one there to be there for me and I had a knife in my hand, cutting myself, watching the blood run down my arm (gross I know). I'm afraid that will happen. For the past 5 years has been rough, I know I repeat myself, but it isn't easy to watch or stand. I nearly committ suicide because the pain was too much for me.
I love Laura so much. She takes good care of me. She worries about me when I'm not in the best of moods, especially when my brother is dying and she knows I'm depressed about it. Sometimes I feel bad because when I'm not happy, she won't be happy. I want to make her happy because she was hurt by that jerk off, asshole, lying prick, grappy feeling jackass, who is horrible in bed ex-boyfriend of hers...oops did I say that out loud? HAHAHA!!! I think to myself that I hope her friends like me (I tend to be paranoid about it). I love Laura so much that I'll do anything to protect her from harm. I'll also be there for her friends as well. I like her friends, they are really cool. I'll put my life and my future on the line for her. I lived my life already and now it's my turn to make sure that Laura has a happy life. If she wants me to go with her, I'll surely follow. That's what love is right? Laura I love you, I wanna be there with you right now and hold you, kiss you, and cuddle with you to make you happy.
Well, I better get back to studying for my poli sci final, I have about 3 1/2 hours left until friday. I'll be really working hard on this one. Later people.