(no subject)
A supersonic CRACK and flash of light accompanied the appearance of a red-and-gold blur flying down from the ceiling of the Sorting Room. As it neared the bottom it inverted itself, resolved into a suit of armor, and slowed to a fairly graceful stop on the floor.
The armored man spoke, in a voice distorted by electronic amplification.
"Hello? Wizard types? Am I in the right place?" He turned around once slowly, scanning the room. "I'm called Iron Man. Here representing the Strategic Homeland Intervention Ennnnn - oh, just call us S.H.I.E.L.D, all right? U.S. government spooky types. I'm looking for a guy name of Strange. Calls himself the Sorcerer Supreme. This his hangout?"
His visual sensors zoomed in on the application form. "Oh joy. A quiz."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"That would be "Plan 9 from Outer Space." Anything from the Ed Wood oeuvre really, but the special effects in that one are awesome."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Tough call there. Assuming one or both of them were terrorist infiltrators - which is not a bad notion now that I come to think of it - this armor's designed to multitask. I could take 'em out simultaneously. If necessary."
3. What time is it where you are?
"Jarvis? What time is it where I am?" he asked without accessing the external speakers.
A number flashed on the mask's interior display, but without audio. "Jarvis? Hello? System diagnostic. Find A.I. program nodes, look for corrupt data, bad disc sectors, dust on the drives, bad voodoo hoodoo, anything."
Reengaging the speakers, he said "Looks like 3:12 p.m. Scotland time. Do I get a prize?"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"As a government affiliated S.H.I.E.L.D. representative, Iron Man is not authorized to harass." A little-boy grin sneaked across his face, and he retracted the armor's gold face plate, revealing dark hair, big dark eyes and a mustache over full lips. "As millionaire playboy Tony Stark, however, I'd harass 'em with with my good looks, rakish charm and really big...bank account."
It lacked a little something without his snarky British-accented onboard artificial intelligence to step on the punch line. But it would do.
He reengaged the face plate. Somehow he just didn't feel fully dressed without the mask.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Heh. Irony, huh? I can do irony," he said with a smirk. "The Fun-Vee." And added under his breath, "There. Irony."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Marriage! Whoa whoa whoa. Don't get the wrong idea, it's been fun and all, a helluva night - day - weekend - but I-I-I-I'm just not the -" He cleared his throat, an oddly distorted sound through the speakers. "Oh. Who should Harry marry. Well. See, that? That's how I react to just the word marriage. So you better believe I'm the wrong guy to ask about this one."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"You don't have the services of a Pepper Potts at your disposal. You should get one. But step off'a mine, she's spoken for."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
An iron fist tapped against an iron chestplate, ringing like a gong.
"See this? I built this. The prototype I designed and built in a frickin' cave. Right under the nose of the terrorists holding me hostage, no less. Did the math in my head, drew the schematics on tissues, and hammered out the pieces by hand. That's craftsmanship, baby. Don't tell me I'm useless."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Tony groaned. "Aw yeah. Everybody's got their hand out. What do you need? Money? Cars? Planes? A custom paint job? Throw something out there, we'll negotiate."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____TS______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____TS______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____TS______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____TS_______"
The armored man spoke, in a voice distorted by electronic amplification.
"Hello? Wizard types? Am I in the right place?" He turned around once slowly, scanning the room. "I'm called Iron Man. Here representing the Strategic Homeland Intervention Ennnnn - oh, just call us S.H.I.E.L.D, all right? U.S. government spooky types. I'm looking for a guy name of Strange. Calls himself the Sorcerer Supreme. This his hangout?"
His visual sensors zoomed in on the application form. "Oh joy. A quiz."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"That would be "Plan 9 from Outer Space." Anything from the Ed Wood oeuvre really, but the special effects in that one are awesome."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Tough call there. Assuming one or both of them were terrorist infiltrators - which is not a bad notion now that I come to think of it - this armor's designed to multitask. I could take 'em out simultaneously. If necessary."
3. What time is it where you are?
"Jarvis? What time is it where I am?" he asked without accessing the external speakers.
A number flashed on the mask's interior display, but without audio. "Jarvis? Hello? System diagnostic. Find A.I. program nodes, look for corrupt data, bad disc sectors, dust on the drives, bad voodoo hoodoo, anything."
Reengaging the speakers, he said "Looks like 3:12 p.m. Scotland time. Do I get a prize?"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"As a government affiliated S.H.I.E.L.D. representative, Iron Man is not authorized to harass." A little-boy grin sneaked across his face, and he retracted the armor's gold face plate, revealing dark hair, big dark eyes and a mustache over full lips. "As millionaire playboy Tony Stark, however, I'd harass 'em with with my good looks, rakish charm and really big...bank account."
It lacked a little something without his snarky British-accented onboard artificial intelligence to step on the punch line. But it would do.
He reengaged the face plate. Somehow he just didn't feel fully dressed without the mask.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Heh. Irony, huh? I can do irony," he said with a smirk. "The Fun-Vee." And added under his breath, "There. Irony."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Marriage! Whoa whoa whoa. Don't get the wrong idea, it's been fun and all, a helluva night - day - weekend - but I-I-I-I'm just not the -" He cleared his throat, an oddly distorted sound through the speakers. "Oh. Who should Harry marry. Well. See, that? That's how I react to just the word marriage. So you better believe I'm the wrong guy to ask about this one."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"You don't have the services of a Pepper Potts at your disposal. You should get one. But step off'a mine, she's spoken for."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
An iron fist tapped against an iron chestplate, ringing like a gong.
"See this? I built this. The prototype I designed and built in a frickin' cave. Right under the nose of the terrorists holding me hostage, no less. Did the math in my head, drew the schematics on tissues, and hammered out the pieces by hand. That's craftsmanship, baby. Don't tell me I'm useless."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Tony groaned. "Aw yeah. Everybody's got their hand out. What do you need? Money? Cars? Planes? A custom paint job? Throw something out there, we'll negotiate."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____TS______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____TS______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____TS______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____TS_______"