GLEE CLUB RELOADED
ok this post is dedicated to hot lips (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. DONT DENY YOUR DESTINY)
1. hey ya ju young style
2.alright, so ive been sick, thus ive thought a smidgin too much over the past week or so. my conclusion: choir is missing one thing....
"an inner diva retreat"
i propose that scott lead us in a soul searching retreat the weekend we return,in place of the """on campus retreat""" required of us.
i also propose that we all embody the inner diva in each of us by renaming ourselves ceremonially:
in the tradition of J.Lo
scott hampton= S.Haaaaaah
George Simpson(honorary choir member)= G.Siiiiiih
Jessie Mamey= J.Maaaaaaaaa (pronouced Jay- maaaaaaaaah, NOT Jamay)
Shoshana Rosen= Shrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Josef Scigliano= J.Scccccccccc (slightly abrasive yet ::quality::)
Angelo italian (because he obviously doesnt have a last name) can just be PIZZETTE.
Jeff Bernstien= J. Beeeeeey (pronouced JAYBAY)
Ju young's secret name will not be unveiled until the end of the retreat, in a ceremony where he dresses as buddha and j/lo/hott/lips prances around his throne.
I dont count because I'm obviously not a diva and plus my diva name is stupid sounding (Selllllllll....pfft)
the purpose of an inner diva retreat is to extract the inner diva from within each member of the choir and reunite ourselves in soul and spirit and body and mind.
this means (in laymens terms) that
::all of the men must have an orgy while I watch::
additionally, we must all sit in a circle and light candles and call back the dead(oh wait we already did that)
our theme will become J.Lo- iciousity and we will kick all those dumb "real songs" we "learned" "first semester" to the "curb"..
instead, scott will periodically dress up as J.Lo (scott being the obvious choice::cause he already has the voluptous :::J.bum::)and he will dance and sing with JOe who is dressed as ben affleck, fake smile, weird mole and all.
this will be in the manner of jiggly, their hit flick-major-motion-picture.
those europeans are sure to love that.
NOw comes george's role.
geoge is official choreographer/sex symbol (of course) and he is hired to make the choir do weird things during village wedding, like turn around and look up and down.because jeff failed and we all laudghed at him. except village wedding has become "village..oh wait ben affleck went to a strip club so we're calling off the...wedding."
george is required by his position to dress like a frilly maid in the manner of MIAD IN MANHATTAN, J/Lo's hit romantic comedy.complete with short skirt and pumps.
jessie and i will dress up like the arabs that we are and bless the retreat by sprinkling holy water on angelo while he "sings" and "fucks up".
as i earlier disclosed, the "prime directive" of this retreat is to extract our sense of personal importance by overplaying it.
also, we will commision andrew to compose an 35 part harmony to the Super Nice Spirit Finger Song (itssss..... suppperrrrrrr nice! ::its super nice:: to bbeeeee with you..) wherein there will be no sheet music allowed because each persons hands are afrought with spiritfinger-ings.
jeremy will become our mascot, and he will dress up as a giant gleeming shining butt cheek bedecked with spirit fingers. like dendrites
..as hommage to our diva-ish-iosity.
additionally, that jewish andrew will have to dress up as a genital crab and sit in the corner listening to the recording of "SACRAMENTO" from homecoming on loop.complete with the thump from fainting girl.
that is how i would restructure glee.
1. hey ya ju young style
2.alright, so ive been sick, thus ive thought a smidgin too much over the past week or so. my conclusion: choir is missing one thing....
"an inner diva retreat"
i propose that scott lead us in a soul searching retreat the weekend we return,in place of the """on campus retreat""" required of us.
i also propose that we all embody the inner diva in each of us by renaming ourselves ceremonially:
in the tradition of J.Lo
scott hampton= S.Haaaaaah
George Simpson(honorary choir member)= G.Siiiiiih
Jessie Mamey= J.Maaaaaaaaa (pronouced Jay- maaaaaaaaah, NOT Jamay)
Shoshana Rosen= Shrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Josef Scigliano= J.Scccccccccc (slightly abrasive yet ::quality::)
Angelo italian (because he obviously doesnt have a last name) can just be PIZZETTE.
Jeff Bernstien= J. Beeeeeey (pronouced JAYBAY)
Ju young's secret name will not be unveiled until the end of the retreat, in a ceremony where he dresses as buddha and j/lo/hott/lips prances around his throne.
I dont count because I'm obviously not a diva and plus my diva name is stupid sounding (Selllllllll....pfft)
the purpose of an inner diva retreat is to extract the inner diva from within each member of the choir and reunite ourselves in soul and spirit and body and mind.
this means (in laymens terms) that
::all of the men must have an orgy while I watch::
additionally, we must all sit in a circle and light candles and call back the dead(oh wait we already did that)
our theme will become J.Lo- iciousity and we will kick all those dumb "real songs" we "learned" "first semester" to the "curb"..
instead, scott will periodically dress up as J.Lo (scott being the obvious choice::cause he already has the voluptous :::J.bum::)and he will dance and sing with JOe who is dressed as ben affleck, fake smile, weird mole and all.
this will be in the manner of jiggly, their hit flick-major-motion-picture.
those europeans are sure to love that.
NOw comes george's role.
geoge is official choreographer/sex symbol (of course) and he is hired to make the choir do weird things during village wedding, like turn around and look up and down.because jeff failed and we all laudghed at him. except village wedding has become "village..oh wait ben affleck went to a strip club so we're calling off the...wedding."
george is required by his position to dress like a frilly maid in the manner of MIAD IN MANHATTAN, J/Lo's hit romantic comedy.complete with short skirt and pumps.
jessie and i will dress up like the arabs that we are and bless the retreat by sprinkling holy water on angelo while he "sings" and "fucks up".
as i earlier disclosed, the "prime directive" of this retreat is to extract our sense of personal importance by overplaying it.
also, we will commision andrew to compose an 35 part harmony to the Super Nice Spirit Finger Song (itssss..... suppperrrrrrr nice! ::its super nice:: to bbeeeee with you..) wherein there will be no sheet music allowed because each persons hands are afrought with spiritfinger-ings.
jeremy will become our mascot, and he will dress up as a giant gleeming shining butt cheek bedecked with spirit fingers. like dendrites
..as hommage to our diva-ish-iosity.
additionally, that jewish andrew will have to dress up as a genital crab and sit in the corner listening to the recording of "SACRAMENTO" from homecoming on loop.complete with the thump from fainting girl.
that is how i would restructure glee.