here i go....sorry its long
Ok…so I know it’s been like a year since I last posted…whatev it happens get over it. I mean ya’ll see me pretty much every day so if ya wanna know about my personal life…well its really ok to just ask. I don’t bite. Hard :D
So anyways.. I just have to get my feelings out about auditions. Duh. I mean everyone’s done it, and being in drama club, I basically HAVE to be a trendwhore to stay in.. we kick out the individuals…(u all know that, rite? Haha) I just waited so long for this exceptionally fun post cuz I knew that if I did it earlier, it would be all irrational and blah and no one would be able to understand what I was trying to say. Plus…u’d all be like what a stupid bitch. Well, ya I am…haha deal with it.
Oh by the way...read gabby’s lj…don’t listen to those stupid ho’s…neither of them is mary quality. Hahahahahaha I love u guys u know im jk.
Back on track. Needless to say, ya auditions blew. off day. For me at least, …and I think I’m pretty much speaking for Breanne too about the general experience. We are total opposites usually, but in this case we are feeling like EXACTLY the same. First, r + j is going to kick ass. All of whelan’s shows do. He is a great director and the show is going to be fantastic and a great experience for everyone involved (either in the audience or backstage). Even if I don’t sound like it, I am excited.
Now that that’s said. I know this sounds dumb, but as a senior…oh and not only a senior, but also an officer….i just kinda figured I’d be guaranteed a part. Conceited I know…but if u got this far, pleez don’t stop reading. Hear me out. By part, by the way, I don’t mean dancer. I mean at least someone in the script ya know? Like one line would have been nice. Hey, serving wench number one at the capulet house? Ok sounds good. Just at least someone who would have moved any scene along. just a little bit. Cuz honestly, if I didn’t take this part and wasn’t replaced, I know it wouldn’t make a difference. And trust me, like I said before, im not belittling the dancers. We are gonna kick ass like whoa and I will be so excited to go to college and be like irish jig? Hells ya I can do that!! Bet ur all jealous now huh? So ya…that is gonna be freaking awesome…haha just thinking about it im smiling. Yay.
But thinking of college is I think the thing that’s making me saddest of all. I mean, I just got involved in drama club last year, and it makes me really upset. If I had gotten over myself and changed my attitude earlier, I think I’d feel better. but no, i was a self absorbed bitch. It just makes me sad to think that I wasted two years doing something that didn’t help me in life at all. Im sorry, im not going to be a laker girl (ya I know u are all really disappointed about that). Well, everything does happen for a reason, and I know that. Obviously I was a cheerleader and put up with all that shit so that I could enjoy this club so much. I put up with selfish girls so that I would realize the value of true friends. I thank god every day for all of u and I love u so so much. That’s what makes this so hard.
This is my last production at vhs. This is the last time I will ever get to work with all of u ever again. Sure, I’ll come back to visit no matter what…but it’s the experience that matters. I guess im just sad because I wanted to feel like a bigger part of it. I mean, I’ll be called maybe once a week, if that. I wont be sitting there while momo keeps telling me to try a line over and over again until I get the iambic pentameter right. Kevin, wes, kammy, and I wont be screaming at the top of our lungs and jumping on top of eachother after the Shakespeare fest…and then end up losing. I wont get sick at the sight of everyone messing up the same damn scene over and over. Or Kevin trying so damn hard to get the stupid dance step (which was never that hard in the first place…haha loves hun)
Isn’t it weird that I seem to miss the bad stuff the most? I guess bc its just all part of it for me, and I was so ready to deal with it again.
Okay, im literally shaking now so I gotta end this post before it gets even harder. U guys kinda understand where Im coming from tho right? I mean…if I could act for the rest of my life, I would do it in a second. I guess its just hard for me not only to be leaving the ppl I love, but leaving at the chance of being unsuccessful. I mean, I’ve worked so hard all my life and no one has ever told me I couldn’t do something. If it was really important to me…I’ve always been satisfied. Sorry, I know that sounds bad…but trust me, I HAVE worked for it. Nothing was ever just handed to me. So I swear im not just whining cuz things got hard all of a sudden. They’ve always been hard for me…I just usually figure out some way to work for what I want. I guess its just a slap in the face to not be able to work around this. And it’s hard to think maybe that will happen in the future too…I mean, if im not good enough for the high school stage, why would I be anywhere else?
Anyways…I cant tell yet but I think I feel better. My tears have been shed…I’ve gotten over my anger….and im going to hold my head high and enjoy the rest of the show. And high school. Besides, cabaret will kick ass…and I get lines in that. Fuck ya!! Besides, I have to move on because I have 2 auditions this week…one for tv and one to get into the theater dept at ucla. Wish me luck! Anyone got advice or wanna help? Lemme know.
Well I doubt anyone read this….if they did im sure it was like the first paragraph…then k im bored she’s bitching. That doesn’t bother me. But yay I got my feelings out :O)
I love u all. Thanks for everything and touching my life so much…obviously, I wouldn’t be feeling any of this if it weren’t for u guys. U all are my life!! I love u soooo much!
~michie~
So anyways.. I just have to get my feelings out about auditions. Duh. I mean everyone’s done it, and being in drama club, I basically HAVE to be a trendwhore to stay in.. we kick out the individuals…(u all know that, rite? Haha) I just waited so long for this exceptionally fun post cuz I knew that if I did it earlier, it would be all irrational and blah and no one would be able to understand what I was trying to say. Plus…u’d all be like what a stupid bitch. Well, ya I am…haha deal with it.
Oh by the way...read gabby’s lj…don’t listen to those stupid ho’s…neither of them is mary quality. Hahahahahaha I love u guys u know im jk.
Back on track. Needless to say, ya auditions blew. off day. For me at least, …and I think I’m pretty much speaking for Breanne too about the general experience. We are total opposites usually, but in this case we are feeling like EXACTLY the same. First, r + j is going to kick ass. All of whelan’s shows do. He is a great director and the show is going to be fantastic and a great experience for everyone involved (either in the audience or backstage). Even if I don’t sound like it, I am excited.
Now that that’s said. I know this sounds dumb, but as a senior…oh and not only a senior, but also an officer….i just kinda figured I’d be guaranteed a part. Conceited I know…but if u got this far, pleez don’t stop reading. Hear me out. By part, by the way, I don’t mean dancer. I mean at least someone in the script ya know? Like one line would have been nice. Hey, serving wench number one at the capulet house? Ok sounds good. Just at least someone who would have moved any scene along. just a little bit. Cuz honestly, if I didn’t take this part and wasn’t replaced, I know it wouldn’t make a difference. And trust me, like I said before, im not belittling the dancers. We are gonna kick ass like whoa and I will be so excited to go to college and be like irish jig? Hells ya I can do that!! Bet ur all jealous now huh? So ya…that is gonna be freaking awesome…haha just thinking about it im smiling. Yay.
But thinking of college is I think the thing that’s making me saddest of all. I mean, I just got involved in drama club last year, and it makes me really upset. If I had gotten over myself and changed my attitude earlier, I think I’d feel better. but no, i was a self absorbed bitch. It just makes me sad to think that I wasted two years doing something that didn’t help me in life at all. Im sorry, im not going to be a laker girl (ya I know u are all really disappointed about that). Well, everything does happen for a reason, and I know that. Obviously I was a cheerleader and put up with all that shit so that I could enjoy this club so much. I put up with selfish girls so that I would realize the value of true friends. I thank god every day for all of u and I love u so so much. That’s what makes this so hard.
This is my last production at vhs. This is the last time I will ever get to work with all of u ever again. Sure, I’ll come back to visit no matter what…but it’s the experience that matters. I guess im just sad because I wanted to feel like a bigger part of it. I mean, I’ll be called maybe once a week, if that. I wont be sitting there while momo keeps telling me to try a line over and over again until I get the iambic pentameter right. Kevin, wes, kammy, and I wont be screaming at the top of our lungs and jumping on top of eachother after the Shakespeare fest…and then end up losing. I wont get sick at the sight of everyone messing up the same damn scene over and over. Or Kevin trying so damn hard to get the stupid dance step (which was never that hard in the first place…haha loves hun)
Isn’t it weird that I seem to miss the bad stuff the most? I guess bc its just all part of it for me, and I was so ready to deal with it again.
Okay, im literally shaking now so I gotta end this post before it gets even harder. U guys kinda understand where Im coming from tho right? I mean…if I could act for the rest of my life, I would do it in a second. I guess its just hard for me not only to be leaving the ppl I love, but leaving at the chance of being unsuccessful. I mean, I’ve worked so hard all my life and no one has ever told me I couldn’t do something. If it was really important to me…I’ve always been satisfied. Sorry, I know that sounds bad…but trust me, I HAVE worked for it. Nothing was ever just handed to me. So I swear im not just whining cuz things got hard all of a sudden. They’ve always been hard for me…I just usually figure out some way to work for what I want. I guess its just a slap in the face to not be able to work around this. And it’s hard to think maybe that will happen in the future too…I mean, if im not good enough for the high school stage, why would I be anywhere else?
Anyways…I cant tell yet but I think I feel better. My tears have been shed…I’ve gotten over my anger….and im going to hold my head high and enjoy the rest of the show. And high school. Besides, cabaret will kick ass…and I get lines in that. Fuck ya!! Besides, I have to move on because I have 2 auditions this week…one for tv and one to get into the theater dept at ucla. Wish me luck! Anyone got advice or wanna help? Lemme know.
Well I doubt anyone read this….if they did im sure it was like the first paragraph…then k im bored she’s bitching. That doesn’t bother me. But yay I got my feelings out :O)
I love u all. Thanks for everything and touching my life so much…obviously, I wouldn’t be feeling any of this if it weren’t for u guys. U all are my life!! I love u soooo much!
~michie~