(no subject)
i dont have ur email n it didnt fit in my away message so im jus leaving it here and hoping ur gona see it.
ive finally realized the mistake i made. i gave up the best relationship ive had n prolly ever will have. i put my own stupid wants n desires above wut i was really feeling and wut u were feeling. ive never felt more selfish and stupid. it hurt me when i found out about megan becuz 1, i didnt find out from u n 2, i dont kno if i ever would of found out until u actually got together with her. but the reason why i was so hurt and upset even tho i have been with like a diff. guy every day since we broke up (thats a HUGE exaggeration) is becuz reality hit me n i saw u were moving on n i wasnt gona be able to jus run back to u whenever i wanted. u never treated me wrong, u never hurt me, u never did ANYTHING that was worthy of gettin dumped or ur heart broken. ive been so depressed since i heard about megan n i kno u guys arent goin out (or atleast werent when i talked to u thursday night) but jus to kno ur moving on hurts. ur doing absolutely NOTHING wrong by moving on. but its something i have to deal with myself. u went thru the heartbreak n everything instantly n i didnt. it obviously took me a month becuz im jus feeling it now. i dont really understand wut my obsession with boys is. im tryin to but i cant ever seem to understand myself, my motives, my thoughts, my feelings, my wants, my desires..ne thing. joe not a time went by when we were together that i was depressed or upset or ne thing except for long periods of time spent w/o u. i would miss u so much if a day went by that u didnt call or didnt get online. u meant more to me than ne thing in the world n i didnt kno how to handle that. n i didnt kno how to handle someone THAT in love with me. i knew i was gona screw up so i felt safe by us not being together but THAT was the big screw up. ill get over u eventually. im not askin for a second chance. i jus thought all of this needed to be said and i thought u needed to kno. im sorry for everything i did. EVERYTHING. n u kept telling me i did nothing wrong. but i feel i did. cuz i screwed everything up.
again i jus thought u needed to hear this. goodnight.
mandi..
ive finally realized the mistake i made. i gave up the best relationship ive had n prolly ever will have. i put my own stupid wants n desires above wut i was really feeling and wut u were feeling. ive never felt more selfish and stupid. it hurt me when i found out about megan becuz 1, i didnt find out from u n 2, i dont kno if i ever would of found out until u actually got together with her. but the reason why i was so hurt and upset even tho i have been with like a diff. guy every day since we broke up (thats a HUGE exaggeration) is becuz reality hit me n i saw u were moving on n i wasnt gona be able to jus run back to u whenever i wanted. u never treated me wrong, u never hurt me, u never did ANYTHING that was worthy of gettin dumped or ur heart broken. ive been so depressed since i heard about megan n i kno u guys arent goin out (or atleast werent when i talked to u thursday night) but jus to kno ur moving on hurts. ur doing absolutely NOTHING wrong by moving on. but its something i have to deal with myself. u went thru the heartbreak n everything instantly n i didnt. it obviously took me a month becuz im jus feeling it now. i dont really understand wut my obsession with boys is. im tryin to but i cant ever seem to understand myself, my motives, my thoughts, my feelings, my wants, my desires..ne thing. joe not a time went by when we were together that i was depressed or upset or ne thing except for long periods of time spent w/o u. i would miss u so much if a day went by that u didnt call or didnt get online. u meant more to me than ne thing in the world n i didnt kno how to handle that. n i didnt kno how to handle someone THAT in love with me. i knew i was gona screw up so i felt safe by us not being together but THAT was the big screw up. ill get over u eventually. im not askin for a second chance. i jus thought all of this needed to be said and i thought u needed to kno. im sorry for everything i did. EVERYTHING. n u kept telling me i did nothing wrong. but i feel i did. cuz i screwed everything up.
again i jus thought u needed to hear this. goodnight.
mandi..