have you ever

[iblog]

have you ever smoked more than you should have just to have your lungs still red? have you ever sat in the open, stars above you, with a can of green tea, and smoked 18 sticks of marlboro menthol lights after an event so tiring you should be sleeping? have you ever lost someone you love so much that now you regret? have you regretted once in your life? have you done something bad enough you know your partner will not forgive you (and probably leave you and move on) and yet do it? have you tasted sweet unconditional love? have you been yourself? have you ever thought whom you want to die with? have you ever thought whom you were given birth to with? have you ever thought your perfect love existed? have you ever loved? have you ever been loved? have you ever thought what is love? have you ever listened to a song that reminded you of your ex lover (or current lover) and cried to the lyrics, which meant nothing to you before listening carefully? have you ever been gay? have you ever been str? have you ever done so much things but felt unappreciated? have you ever had your own company? have you ever thought of having one? have you ever slept and cried in your sleep? have you found him? have you typed so fast you cant remember what you typed? have you ever drank pepsi? have you ever been drunk and told everyone your love stor(ies) including the juicy details? have you ever liked someone you've never thought you will like? have you ever told someone you do not like him and it is not possible, and 3 years after that, you are liking him, but he is attached, what do you do then? have you been good since 2004? have you (or are you still) been single? have you ever wanted to be the perfect couple with two of the most perfect faces, perfectly in love? have you ever counted the number of people you once had sex with (oral sex included)? have you ever counted the number of pple you liked/loved/had a crush on? have you ever felt so tired at 4.30am in the morning but you were listening to daniel bedingfield's if you're not the one, and you woke up from your bed, eyes red, minds bloated, and you start blabbering in your blog? have you ever found a perfect job? i know humans can be prefects, but is human ever perfect? have you ever felt you are a man without dreams? have you been depressed? have you wanted someone so badly you do not know what to do (but you knew what to do with every other men)? have you ever not give in your best to retain something/someone in your possession? have you cried till you faint along orchard road before? have you not done you tutorials? have you quit school? have you ever ran away from home? have you ever went back home? have you been a bitch? a slut? a good boyfriend to your cute partner? there are so many have you ever's, one life is not enough.

is love at first sight an excuse for lust?
then why does he wait for 3 years?
and still not popped the question ever since?
maybe because he is attached.
fuck.
regret not giving in your best to get what you really want is the worst feeling to have!
i left my old company to go into a period awaiting confirmation for a position, with better prospects, i wanted. i know i will not regret that.
but why am i not satisfied with what i have?
not contented? why no contentment with good colleagues?
does everyone need to move on that fast? or am i too fast?

i am tired after a pretty much nice event, saying hi to people, talking to people, interacting, cocking up the show although my future boss says its the worst one. woooo. damn. i think i am jinxed. hahahaha