(no subject)
Where the hell am I? And why don't I care?
I have wanted nothing more than to be enough for everyone, and I've assumed the position regrettably. It only fuels the disappointment I carry in me towards people in general. I feel this especially when you discard my words and go back to whomever, whatever.
I let everyone back in as they wish. As of late it seems everyone is crossing the line again, and this will be for the last time, because I said so. Some stay (but I am forever guarded), others must go. Calls answered, calls denied, sent to an automated message. I show no emotion.
I am being pushed into these circumstances, don't you see? I am pulled in and then so quickly let down without reasoning. I am led on. You show concern when it is too late. It's always too late. It is my fault for encouraging your behaviors, for accepting you even with my doubts (which I have always put aside). I have kept quiet, tried to understand, found the strength to forgive them all and coexist, what more can I do?
I'm just so fucking tired.
I have wanted nothing more than to be enough for everyone, and I've assumed the position regrettably. It only fuels the disappointment I carry in me towards people in general. I feel this especially when you discard my words and go back to whomever, whatever.
I let everyone back in as they wish. As of late it seems everyone is crossing the line again, and this will be for the last time, because I said so. Some stay (but I am forever guarded), others must go. Calls answered, calls denied, sent to an automated message. I show no emotion.
I am being pushed into these circumstances, don't you see? I am pulled in and then so quickly let down without reasoning. I am led on. You show concern when it is too late. It's always too late. It is my fault for encouraging your behaviors, for accepting you even with my doubts (which I have always put aside). I have kept quiet, tried to understand, found the strength to forgive them all and coexist, what more can I do?
I'm just so fucking tired.