clean again
i feel alone, but im not. im so disconected from the world, from my world, from the ones that i love. but im with the one i love, the one i want to touch, to feel all the time. its because im sick, i want to die. but i dont. ive never felt this before. it has been good, but never like this. hes amazing. hes not drunk all the time, i just happen to write about the times he is, what about when were just lying in bed together, or when were watching tv, when we go out, to his parents house, when we paint, when we...when we.. when we... anything. i belived in a thing called love, and i gave up on that thing, but now i know, its there, somthing so much better than i ever expected, and if it ends, itll be the en, i know this know, and i eccept it, and i dont care, ive already recieved so more in life then i ever xpected, where is there to go from here. when im sick like this, i get sad, and depressed. we cant have sex yet, so where not, we can, but we wont. in a week..mabey. my eyebrows are growing out, joe wont let me pluck them thin, and im glad. white trash beautiful, somthing you should know. i want to die. i miss colleen, i miss amber... i miss my brother, so much. im dying with out my cat, im so sorry vanity. but things are good too, im getting a job at paint, in about a week. im exicted, and brookes doing myhair. im dying it black, im tired of red, red sucks my ass. things are good, and things arnt bad, jsut the missing people part...and the not having sex part too.