FIC: Cookies & Cream [Naruto].
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. I haven't posted any stories here since September?! Well, that's gonna have to change. I'm setting up a daily writing time for myself, and come hell or high water I will STICK TO IT.
Now then. Enjoy your crazy Nay-roo-toos.
Title: Cookies & Cream.
Fandom: Naruto [manga].
Rating: PG-13 for a couple of curses.
Genre: Fluff, humor (except for the end).
Summary: Written for taito_kisses's birthday . . . which was in September. EPIC FAIL, ME. Although, in fairness, it was a hard prompt, I still feel awful. So, well, have a Gai & Kurenai friendfic! And somebody for god's sakes tell me where I can cross-post this, 'cause I have no idea. Gai community? Something?
Warnings: Spoilers.
Pairings/Characters: Maito Gai, Yuhi Kurenai, and a busty nurse.
Disclaimer: Kishimoto's. I'm not him.
---
COOKIES & CREAM.
---
The sun beat down on Kurenai like it had a score to settle. She walked home, kicking up dust and rocks and occasionally shaking her hair out of her eyes. The handles of her four plastic shopping bags dug into the pudgy flesh of her forearms; only the mental image of her mother, standing sternly, hands on hips, kept her from dropping her burden in the street and running off to play.
Wiping the sweat out of her eyes, she gave in and sat down on the curb. Opening one of the bags, she pulled out a bag of melting chocolate chip cookies. She scrutinised them cautiously. They were clearly on their last legs. She might as well put them out of their misery.
Just as she was about to put one in her mouth, she felt a shadow fall over her.
"Those look heavy. Do you need help?"
When she looked up, she winced immediately. Surely one mouth could not contain that many brightly glinting teeth.
"Do I know you?" she inquired, squinting up at the boy.
"Perhaps not." He shook his hair proudly, which had no visible effect on the upside-down bowl shape whatsoever. "My name is," he went on, striking as majestic a pose as anyone three feet tall can, "Maito Gai! Please allow me to help you with your groceries!"
Kurenai eyed him suspiciously. "You just want a cookie, don't you," she said flatly.
Gai's shoulders slumped. "Er," he said, looking wretched. "Well."
She sighed. "Here," she said, digging another out of the bag. "They're melting anyway."
"Thank you very much!" Gai exclaimed.
The speed at which he devoured his cookie was impressive, and Kurenai said so.
"Thank you! I have been training to improve my speed!"
"Your speed . . . at eating?"
"One cannot be too careful! One must train one's body, mind, and stomach if one wants to be a ninja!"
"Oh. That," said Kurenai, sighing. Of course the boy wanted to be a ninja. Why was she surprised? He looked like a poster boy for the Ninja Academy (although for a very loud and undignified poster).
"Are you training, too?" Gai asked her seriously.
"No," Kurenai replied with disinterest, "and I don't plan to, before you ask."
"What?" Gai placed a hand over his heart. "Why do you not want to be a ninja? It is the most honourable and challenging thing a person can become!"
She glared at him. "Why should I talk to you about it? You haven't even asked my name!"
Gai blinked. "I'm sorry; that was very rude of me." Suddenly he winked and gave her a thumbs-up, along with another blinding grin. "Please tell me your name," he said through his teeth, "so that we may become friends and train together in the future!"
"My name is Yuhi Kurenai," she said. "And I don't need any friends. Besides, I already told you I don't want to be a ninja."
"Nice to meet you! Please allow me to carry your bags! It will increase my strength!"
She sighed. "Whatever you want. Just please stop posing."
Gai stooped to pick up the bags, staggering a bit. "These are very heavy!" he said, starting off down the street.
"Are you complaining?" Kurenai asked dryly.
"No, I'm pleased! These will help me to become much stronger!"
"Or else break your back."
"Don't worry. Even if I do break my back, I will persevere, Kurenai!" Gai looked at her sideways. "Er . . . what did you think about the thumbs-up thing? I just came up with it."
"It's horrifying."
"Really?" He looked disappointed. Kurenai felt a twinge of guilt.
"Well, it would be a bit better if you moved your mouth while you're speaking," she said.
"But what if my teeth don't glint?" Gai said, horror in his voice.
"They will." Kurenai shuddered. "Trust me. They will."
"I will try it," Gai said doubtfully. "It seemed like such a good idea when I was practising."
Of course he practises, Kurenai thought, chuckling. In front of a mirror, I'm sure. "I think that one has some promise, actually," she said aloud. "You should keep trying it. Maybe, if you get it just right, you can even give it a special name. It can be your trademark!"
He beamed. "Now you're thinking like a ninja!"
Not really, she thought. Now I'm thinking like you.
"So . . . where are we taking these groceries?"
"To my home. It's about half a mile up this road."
"Excellent! We will get there in five minutes, or else I will do twenty-five push-ups as punishment!"
". . . You do that." Pause. "Oh . . . Gai?"
"Yes, Kurenai?"
"You have chocolate on your face."
---
"Come on, Gai!" Kurenai pleaded. "Let's go play!"
"I can't!" There was a loud thud. "Ouch. I can't, Kurenai, I'm training!"
"You're always training!" she whined. "Why can't we play, just for a little while?"
"Because training is--ouch--serious, Kurenai! I want to be a ninja so that I can defend my family and friends in Konoha!" He paused, and Kurenai heard him thump his fist on his chest heroically.
"You want to protect people, Gai? Get a big stick. Stop pretending to be responsible. Come on, we're young and stupid, let's go play!"
There was a momentary silence. Then Gai poked his head out from behind the tree he had been punching and glared at her severely. He looked like some kind of demonic hawk, save for the bowl cut and bruises.
"Kurenai," he said stiffly, "to become an excellent ninja is my dream. Why do you not respect it?"
"Er." What could she possibly say to that? It was true that she didn't respect Gai's dream, but-- "You never respect my wish not to be a ninja, either!" Kurenai said hotly. "You're always talking about it, and you never play with me anymore because you're training. It's not fair! You're the only one who--" She stopped, bit her lip, and turned away.
Gai whispered something behind her.
"What do you want?" she grumbled back at him, with all the eight-year-old menace she could muster.
"I'M SORRY, KURENAI!" Gai howled as he swept her up into a bear hug.
"Gai! Put me down! Stop squeezing me, you're going to break my--"
There was a crack.
"Kurenai? Kure-- oh shi--!"
---
"And when someone asks us to stop doing something, Gai, we . . . ?"
"Stop . . . doing it?"
"That's right! And we stop because . . . ?"
"Because I don't know my own strength."
"That's exactly right. Now can I leave you alone with her without worrying about anything else getting broken?" the busty nurse said sternly.
Gai hung his head in shame. "Yes, ma'am."
"Good." The woman wobbled her way out of the room, muttering something about crazy ninja spawn.
Gai scooted his chair over to the hospital bed and said softly, "Kurenai?"
She opened one eye and grinned. "My mom's going to kick your ass, Gai."
He groaned. "I'm so, so sorry, Kurenai! As recompense, I will do two thousand laps around--"
"Don't bother. Make me two thousand cookies instead."
Gai blinked. "That sounds a lot harder."
Kurenai laughed, wincing at the pain in her ribs. "I'll teach you how. It'll be fun."
"Okay! That sounds most interesting, Kurenai! But first you should focus on healing." Gai nodded vigorously. "You need to get your youthful energy back."
"I don't think I had too much to begin with, Gai," she said wryly.
"That is not true, Kurenai! You have more youth inside of you than any kunoichi--" He slapped a hand over his mouth. "I'msorryfourthousandcookiesI'msorry," he blurted through his fingers.
"Don't worry about it, Gai," Kurenai said, giving a resigned smile. "I think I'm going to take you up on all those offers of training."
"Really?" Gai stifled a cheer.
"Yeah." She made a face. "God knows, if you're going to keep hugging me in the future I'm gonna have to be able to defend myself. Still want to train with me, Gai?"
"Most definitely!" Gai puffed out his chest. "We will train day and night until we fulfill our dreams to become excellent ninja!" He paused. "If you want," he added meekly.
"I do," Kurenai said, smirking wickedly, "but first I want to watch you cook."
---
He found her standing at the monument of lost shinobi an hour after the funeral. He went to put a hand on her shoulder, but, as always, she sensed his presence first and turned. There were tears in her eyes, but a twisted smile on her face.
"Hello, Gai," she murmured, making no effort to hide her tears. "Come to pay your condolences?" She pointed to a patch of fresh rock dust on the monument. "His name is right here. They just finished carving it."
Gai looked her in the eye--because no-one else had since her lover had died--and said softly, "I did come to pay my respects, Kurenai. But more to keep you from paying too much." He smiled, reaching out and clasping her hands in his. "Will you be like my rival, then, lost in thought here every morning? Will you fight with him for space? It's enough, I think, for one ninja in this village to perpetually mourn the lost here. Don't you think, Kurenai?"
She nodded, but said nothing for a moment, running her eyes over the pock-marked stone of the monument. Then she chuckled sadly. "Did you hear what the Nara boy said to me? He said he would be the baby's father if I wanted him to."
"I heard him."
"Somebody needs to give that kid some basic lessons in biology."
"He only--"
She put up her hand, cutting Gai off. "I know, I know. And I appreciate what he said. But it wouldn't have helped."
She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. Gai laid an arm across her shoulders. When, after a moment, she looked up at him, her expression was almost pitying.
"You just don't understand, do you, Gai?" she said quietly. "You can't help me that easily. You can't just offer me your hand in the street one day and expect that you'll be able to keep me from getting hurt for the rest of your life."
There was a tug in his chest, like someone pulling at the strings of his heart. "I know that, Kurenai." He shivered, too, then, as he leaned forward to wrap her gently in his arms. "But I can certainly try."
Kurenai froze for a moment, then wrapped her arms around her friend and squeezed him tightly. "Damn right you can," she whispered, wiping her tears on his shoulder. "Damn right."
Now then. Enjoy your crazy Nay-roo-toos.
Title: Cookies & Cream.
Fandom: Naruto [manga].
Rating: PG-13 for a couple of curses.
Genre: Fluff, humor (except for the end).
Summary: Written for taito_kisses's birthday . . . which was in September. EPIC FAIL, ME. Although, in fairness, it was a hard prompt, I still feel awful. So, well, have a Gai & Kurenai friendfic! And somebody for god's sakes tell me where I can cross-post this, 'cause I have no idea. Gai community? Something?
Warnings: Spoilers.
Pairings/Characters: Maito Gai, Yuhi Kurenai, and a busty nurse.
Disclaimer: Kishimoto's. I'm not him.
---
COOKIES & CREAM.
---
The sun beat down on Kurenai like it had a score to settle. She walked home, kicking up dust and rocks and occasionally shaking her hair out of her eyes. The handles of her four plastic shopping bags dug into the pudgy flesh of her forearms; only the mental image of her mother, standing sternly, hands on hips, kept her from dropping her burden in the street and running off to play.
Wiping the sweat out of her eyes, she gave in and sat down on the curb. Opening one of the bags, she pulled out a bag of melting chocolate chip cookies. She scrutinised them cautiously. They were clearly on their last legs. She might as well put them out of their misery.
Just as she was about to put one in her mouth, she felt a shadow fall over her.
"Those look heavy. Do you need help?"
When she looked up, she winced immediately. Surely one mouth could not contain that many brightly glinting teeth.
"Do I know you?" she inquired, squinting up at the boy.
"Perhaps not." He shook his hair proudly, which had no visible effect on the upside-down bowl shape whatsoever. "My name is," he went on, striking as majestic a pose as anyone three feet tall can, "Maito Gai! Please allow me to help you with your groceries!"
Kurenai eyed him suspiciously. "You just want a cookie, don't you," she said flatly.
Gai's shoulders slumped. "Er," he said, looking wretched. "Well."
She sighed. "Here," she said, digging another out of the bag. "They're melting anyway."
"Thank you very much!" Gai exclaimed.
The speed at which he devoured his cookie was impressive, and Kurenai said so.
"Thank you! I have been training to improve my speed!"
"Your speed . . . at eating?"
"One cannot be too careful! One must train one's body, mind, and stomach if one wants to be a ninja!"
"Oh. That," said Kurenai, sighing. Of course the boy wanted to be a ninja. Why was she surprised? He looked like a poster boy for the Ninja Academy (although for a very loud and undignified poster).
"Are you training, too?" Gai asked her seriously.
"No," Kurenai replied with disinterest, "and I don't plan to, before you ask."
"What?" Gai placed a hand over his heart. "Why do you not want to be a ninja? It is the most honourable and challenging thing a person can become!"
She glared at him. "Why should I talk to you about it? You haven't even asked my name!"
Gai blinked. "I'm sorry; that was very rude of me." Suddenly he winked and gave her a thumbs-up, along with another blinding grin. "Please tell me your name," he said through his teeth, "so that we may become friends and train together in the future!"
"My name is Yuhi Kurenai," she said. "And I don't need any friends. Besides, I already told you I don't want to be a ninja."
"Nice to meet you! Please allow me to carry your bags! It will increase my strength!"
She sighed. "Whatever you want. Just please stop posing."
Gai stooped to pick up the bags, staggering a bit. "These are very heavy!" he said, starting off down the street.
"Are you complaining?" Kurenai asked dryly.
"No, I'm pleased! These will help me to become much stronger!"
"Or else break your back."
"Don't worry. Even if I do break my back, I will persevere, Kurenai!" Gai looked at her sideways. "Er . . . what did you think about the thumbs-up thing? I just came up with it."
"It's horrifying."
"Really?" He looked disappointed. Kurenai felt a twinge of guilt.
"Well, it would be a bit better if you moved your mouth while you're speaking," she said.
"But what if my teeth don't glint?" Gai said, horror in his voice.
"They will." Kurenai shuddered. "Trust me. They will."
"I will try it," Gai said doubtfully. "It seemed like such a good idea when I was practising."
Of course he practises, Kurenai thought, chuckling. In front of a mirror, I'm sure. "I think that one has some promise, actually," she said aloud. "You should keep trying it. Maybe, if you get it just right, you can even give it a special name. It can be your trademark!"
He beamed. "Now you're thinking like a ninja!"
Not really, she thought. Now I'm thinking like you.
"So . . . where are we taking these groceries?"
"To my home. It's about half a mile up this road."
"Excellent! We will get there in five minutes, or else I will do twenty-five push-ups as punishment!"
". . . You do that." Pause. "Oh . . . Gai?"
"Yes, Kurenai?"
"You have chocolate on your face."
---
"Come on, Gai!" Kurenai pleaded. "Let's go play!"
"I can't!" There was a loud thud. "Ouch. I can't, Kurenai, I'm training!"
"You're always training!" she whined. "Why can't we play, just for a little while?"
"Because training is--ouch--serious, Kurenai! I want to be a ninja so that I can defend my family and friends in Konoha!" He paused, and Kurenai heard him thump his fist on his chest heroically.
"You want to protect people, Gai? Get a big stick. Stop pretending to be responsible. Come on, we're young and stupid, let's go play!"
There was a momentary silence. Then Gai poked his head out from behind the tree he had been punching and glared at her severely. He looked like some kind of demonic hawk, save for the bowl cut and bruises.
"Kurenai," he said stiffly, "to become an excellent ninja is my dream. Why do you not respect it?"
"Er." What could she possibly say to that? It was true that she didn't respect Gai's dream, but-- "You never respect my wish not to be a ninja, either!" Kurenai said hotly. "You're always talking about it, and you never play with me anymore because you're training. It's not fair! You're the only one who--" She stopped, bit her lip, and turned away.
Gai whispered something behind her.
"What do you want?" she grumbled back at him, with all the eight-year-old menace she could muster.
"I'M SORRY, KURENAI!" Gai howled as he swept her up into a bear hug.
"Gai! Put me down! Stop squeezing me, you're going to break my--"
There was a crack.
"Kurenai? Kure-- oh shi--!"
---
"And when someone asks us to stop doing something, Gai, we . . . ?"
"Stop . . . doing it?"
"That's right! And we stop because . . . ?"
"Because I don't know my own strength."
"That's exactly right. Now can I leave you alone with her without worrying about anything else getting broken?" the busty nurse said sternly.
Gai hung his head in shame. "Yes, ma'am."
"Good." The woman wobbled her way out of the room, muttering something about crazy ninja spawn.
Gai scooted his chair over to the hospital bed and said softly, "Kurenai?"
She opened one eye and grinned. "My mom's going to kick your ass, Gai."
He groaned. "I'm so, so sorry, Kurenai! As recompense, I will do two thousand laps around--"
"Don't bother. Make me two thousand cookies instead."
Gai blinked. "That sounds a lot harder."
Kurenai laughed, wincing at the pain in her ribs. "I'll teach you how. It'll be fun."
"Okay! That sounds most interesting, Kurenai! But first you should focus on healing." Gai nodded vigorously. "You need to get your youthful energy back."
"I don't think I had too much to begin with, Gai," she said wryly.
"That is not true, Kurenai! You have more youth inside of you than any kunoichi--" He slapped a hand over his mouth. "I'msorryfourthousandcookiesI'msorry," he blurted through his fingers.
"Don't worry about it, Gai," Kurenai said, giving a resigned smile. "I think I'm going to take you up on all those offers of training."
"Really?" Gai stifled a cheer.
"Yeah." She made a face. "God knows, if you're going to keep hugging me in the future I'm gonna have to be able to defend myself. Still want to train with me, Gai?"
"Most definitely!" Gai puffed out his chest. "We will train day and night until we fulfill our dreams to become excellent ninja!" He paused. "If you want," he added meekly.
"I do," Kurenai said, smirking wickedly, "but first I want to watch you cook."
---
He found her standing at the monument of lost shinobi an hour after the funeral. He went to put a hand on her shoulder, but, as always, she sensed his presence first and turned. There were tears in her eyes, but a twisted smile on her face.
"Hello, Gai," she murmured, making no effort to hide her tears. "Come to pay your condolences?" She pointed to a patch of fresh rock dust on the monument. "His name is right here. They just finished carving it."
Gai looked her in the eye--because no-one else had since her lover had died--and said softly, "I did come to pay my respects, Kurenai. But more to keep you from paying too much." He smiled, reaching out and clasping her hands in his. "Will you be like my rival, then, lost in thought here every morning? Will you fight with him for space? It's enough, I think, for one ninja in this village to perpetually mourn the lost here. Don't you think, Kurenai?"
She nodded, but said nothing for a moment, running her eyes over the pock-marked stone of the monument. Then she chuckled sadly. "Did you hear what the Nara boy said to me? He said he would be the baby's father if I wanted him to."
"I heard him."
"Somebody needs to give that kid some basic lessons in biology."
"He only--"
She put up her hand, cutting Gai off. "I know, I know. And I appreciate what he said. But it wouldn't have helped."
She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. Gai laid an arm across her shoulders. When, after a moment, she looked up at him, her expression was almost pitying.
"You just don't understand, do you, Gai?" she said quietly. "You can't help me that easily. You can't just offer me your hand in the street one day and expect that you'll be able to keep me from getting hurt for the rest of your life."
There was a tug in his chest, like someone pulling at the strings of his heart. "I know that, Kurenai." He shivered, too, then, as he leaned forward to wrap her gently in his arms. "But I can certainly try."
Kurenai froze for a moment, then wrapped her arms around her friend and squeezed him tightly. "Damn right you can," she whispered, wiping her tears on his shoulder. "Damn right."