What is love? [baby don't hurt me]
Join me in my conquest. It'd look better if I had a reason to conquer, like, "this hot girl next to me wants your country! surrender now!" instead of just me like "I WANT THIS PLACE! FOR ME!"
-Kyle
And now for the real reason I'm updating.
I don't believe in love.
Perhaps I'm just really cynical and have abandoned all hope in ever being happy. But honestly, do you really need a significant other to be happy? I've always looked down on the people who are miserable without their boyfriend, and wondered why they can't function independently.
Maybe I feel this way because I've never experienced it for myself. I never let myself open up completely to a person, give myself entirely to them because I'm afraid of what will happen in the end. There is always an end in sight for me. Can two people really be totally happy with each other for an entire lifetime?
I don't think that there is one person for everyone, I guess you could say soulmates. It's impossible. My other half might be somewhere in Bosnia and Herzegovina, and I would never know because I'm here in Miami, Florida wasting my time with ... whatever it is I feel I'm wasting my time with.
It doesn't help that I never know what I want, but I feel like that could be another rant entirely, so I won't say much on the matter. I just go through phases where I want to make out with everyone, then other phases where I just want to be in a relationship and be totally okay with it.
But I don't know what relationships are supposed to be like. To me, it just means settling. If relationship = settling, then I suppose I really have no idea what to expect. Or maybe I'm just one of those people that are bound to be alone for their entire lives.
It doesn't help that everything I ever had faith in has proven me wrong. I was more upset by a breakup of two high school friends (who were together for about 5 years) than I was by my own parent's divorce. If they can't stay together, what hope do I have?
It doesn't help that I'm in a pseudo-relationship where I can't tell what's going on and I'm also afraid to ask.
It's times like these that I just sit back and hope everything will be okay because I know there's nothing else I can do.
...
Sometimes I wonder if people hear me speak and think "wow this girl is a total idiot".
-Kyle
And now for the real reason I'm updating.
I don't believe in love.
Perhaps I'm just really cynical and have abandoned all hope in ever being happy. But honestly, do you really need a significant other to be happy? I've always looked down on the people who are miserable without their boyfriend, and wondered why they can't function independently.
Maybe I feel this way because I've never experienced it for myself. I never let myself open up completely to a person, give myself entirely to them because I'm afraid of what will happen in the end. There is always an end in sight for me. Can two people really be totally happy with each other for an entire lifetime?
I don't think that there is one person for everyone, I guess you could say soulmates. It's impossible. My other half might be somewhere in Bosnia and Herzegovina, and I would never know because I'm here in Miami, Florida wasting my time with ... whatever it is I feel I'm wasting my time with.
It doesn't help that I never know what I want, but I feel like that could be another rant entirely, so I won't say much on the matter. I just go through phases where I want to make out with everyone, then other phases where I just want to be in a relationship and be totally okay with it.
But I don't know what relationships are supposed to be like. To me, it just means settling. If relationship = settling, then I suppose I really have no idea what to expect. Or maybe I'm just one of those people that are bound to be alone for their entire lives.
It doesn't help that everything I ever had faith in has proven me wrong. I was more upset by a breakup of two high school friends (who were together for about 5 years) than I was by my own parent's divorce. If they can't stay together, what hope do I have?
It doesn't help that I'm in a pseudo-relationship where I can't tell what's going on and I'm also afraid to ask.
It's times like these that I just sit back and hope everything will be okay because I know there's nothing else I can do.
...
Sometimes I wonder if people hear me speak and think "wow this girl is a total idiot".