What I need is the dandelion in the spring.
I'm not even going to bother locking this post. Such flailing cannot be restricted to merely my flist. But I will probably be rambling so much that hardly anyone will read it because I can promise there will be a lot of text in this post.
MOCKINGJAY
The book that stole my heart.
And mind. And broke them both a little.
After 8 hours of vigorous reading -- which was briefly interrupted by a few words exchanged with my sister, a bit of food, and a bathroom break -- my heart is broken. And I know I am not the only Hunger Games fan in that rather emotional boat. Because let's be honest, it's tough to read these books and not get emotionally attached.
Words of warning: Instead of being organized like a traditional review writer might deliberate, I'm just going to go by the thoughts that come to me. It's rambling in as composed a way as I can manage at three in the morning.
Anyone else out there swear that Katniss would just off herself? I knew she wouldn't kill Peeta or Gale. I felt Gale would go on and be heroic because that's the Gale way, but I felt at a point that Katniss would kill herself and Peeta would die shortly thereafter. It was so dreary, I just thought, end the pain, end all of it. It seemed like something that could be done. But I guess Katniss doesn't take the easy way out, so it's not a huge surprise that she didn't take the suicide route. That note aside, it was refreshing to read something that was so out there and honest. It didn't make anything flowery. It kept me on my toes but it didn't set me up for a predictable happy ending, or really much of anything predictable at all. This is a definite plus. It makes this series stand out and while love triangles are starting to wear on me, the fact that this entire trilogy is so radical and fresh makes me practically ignore that trend.
Also, in the end, I NEEDED MORE TIME. HOLY $#!%. I was still trying to piece together my absolutely BROKEN HEART, my entire mind and soul was totally shattered. I didn't know if Peeta could ever really come back. And yet, suddenly -- not a soft suddenly, but like a logging truck slammed into my face suddenly -- my Katniss' Peeta was there. It didn't feel real. It wasn't the love I was so enraptured with in the first two books. Ok, yes, I realize that the whole romance stuff wasn't actually Collins' main point with the Hunger Games, it was about her take on war and utopia. The characters, as close as we got to them, were still just the symbols Collins needed to get different points across. But still. Parts of the romance just felt lacking, like Collins was aware it was present but that she would write just enough to satisfy so she could move on to Katniss and Panem. I could just accept this except the end is so abrupt for me. Peeta's mind was hijacked, his poor body just wracked with pain because of it, and it's a huge issue for half of the book, and a mere paragraph states that he's becoming the old Peeta and that Katniss chooses him over Gale, though it feels like she chooses him more out of convenience and the fact that her drama with Gale couldn't get past friendship because they are too alike and we all know opposites attract. And all that nonsese of Katniss flipping out over Peeta, then being all meh with Gale, back and forth, it was follow-able, because frankly in that situation I would be rather conflicted. But there was still some element, just something, missing. Like there should have been more ache and anger and pain whenever Katniss was faced with hijacked!Peeta, and more confusion with Gale. It was there, I think back on it and I know it was there, but I wanted more. And it also makes me pity those two boys immensely, because they kind of got jerked around. Actually, it was really Gale who got jerked around, and Peeta who just got a load of suckishness thrown at him. Let's just say, I love this book more for being such an amazing sci-fi novel than an amazing romance novel. And just to comment the end as a whole, I would have appreciated another 20 pages or so, where Katniss could have had more time recovering from her loss of Prim, and we could have shared in the healing process between Katniss and Peeta. (Hello, I'd like to point out this ending that I would have enjoyed!)
That said, I'm a hopeless romantic and I do love my romance novels, so I was craving a bit more romance. However, I still have to say that with Collins' writing, the amount of romance was fitting. It's not like there wasn't any. There was the romantic scene with Gale, where it was honestly just Katniss being desperate for affection and still confused as to how much she loved Gale (I'm sticking with my guns that she loves Gale, but he just isn't the guy for her, it's more of a should-be ongoing friendship). That and Gale still in denial that his love for Katniss is enough. Because it's not. And he always knows it but still keeps on trying anyway. I give him points for persistence. There never was much romance for Peeta and Katniss though. I take that back, a little, because there was that kiss Katniss couldn't hold back because she wanted to do anything at all that would keep her Peeta fighting hijacked!Peeta. It was a touch lackluster, but it happened. Oh and there was that beautiful moment where they were together and she was begging him to stay with her, to fight, and he said "Always." That made my heart thud. Literally one of the romantic highs.
To focus on the whole "who will she choose" issue, I both love and hate how it ended for Peeta and Katniss. Yes, it's possible. The fact that they're together, totally broken, but still somehow happy is just marvelous. The hate is so dim, it's mostly just sorrow for the indescribable pain that those two harbor, almost more pain than any of the survivors who dealt with the whole uprising. They're not going to have a perfectly blissful happy ending, but they do get the happy ending. And I love it. Excellent work by Collins there. Most bestselling authors fall to the pleas of their fans but Collins just did what would be the most understandable and fitting. It makes sense and it sits well with me. Sure, it would be nice for them to "live happily ever after" but that's not what this story calls for, not at all. It also didn't call for the most depressing end ever, something involving Katniss and Peeta dead. This end is that third porridge that's just right. Wonderful writing.
And just for Peeta on his own, I don't even know where to begin. While I found myself at times perfectly content with the idea of Katniss being with Gale, Peeta had my heart always. Every single moment of the series, I was a hardcore Me/Peeta shipper. Just in Mockingjay, everything he did carried with me. And while I recognize Katniss was a bit caught up in it, I felt like she didn't even begin to share the weight I felt knowing his struggle. Peeta seemed like the most pure-hearted (aside from Prim), and to have literally everything but his life ripped away from him was painful to read. And so unexpected. I can only say over and over how I love it when things are not predictable, and while I could have been unsurprised by killing Peeta, making him... un-Peeta, hijacked!Peeta, was a total shock. And I love that I hated it.
PS: I hate to make the connection, but Gale is like Jacob and Peeta is like Edward. Apparently pained and perfect always wins.
One thing though. I don't really feel it was fair to leave Gale that way. Just leave him. Katniss grew up with him as a constant ally, a best friend, someone who was flesh with her like one being when they hunted. I feel betrayed and physically torn leaving it just with "I can't forgive him, I'll just have to deal with the pain" and "I have to remind myself that Gale's in 2 with a fancy job, probably kissing another pair of lips." (Looking back on their last conversation, pages 366 and 367 - I have the US hardback edition - I just feel sad.) Yes, if I had to say honestly between Gale and Peeta who would be able to move on, it's Gale. He can live without Katniss. But should he? Not in my opinion. I still believe they should be able to talk to each other and be friends. They can handle that. I know Gale's contraption killed Prim, but Gale is not the one who killed her (and sidenote, WTH is with the lack of grief on his part, it was so faint and Collins could have spared an extra few sentences to show remorse from Gale, a part of him loved Prim like a sister). Katniss should "make peace" with the matter. What's in the past cannot be changed and it hurts that all she can do when thinking of him is connect him to Prim's death. Gale being in District 2 with a fancy job, all good and fine, he deserves it and his brilliance should be useful there, but I don't like this vague idea of the two severing their ties when they went through so much together and have a unique bond. Not a fan. Gale fought hard for her love, it's weird that he wouldn't try to keep her in his life. I get not fighting to win her over, but dropping everything? I expected more from both of them. I love that people agree with me, as shown in this thread. IKR?!?!?!! So maybe healing a relationship with Gale isn't realistic, which is what I like most about these books, but it's one of the few unrealistic things I craved.
Let's point out some memorable things.
But note, I won't be using many quotes right now because it pains me to even go back and get them. The book was excellent, don't get me wrong, but I need time to sleep on it. I've been doing nothing but immerse myself in this world for 8 hours.
Finnick. “Why? Do you find this”-he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose-“distracting?” Sir, you cannot possibly understand how easy it was to love you. From the very beginning, when for all I knew, you were just another snobbish victor who happened to be sexy, what with that whole sugar thing, I still had a thing for you. I knew that among the other characters, you were special. You made me proud to the very end, babe. Losing you was like losing Fred Weasley all over again. There are not many tragedies that make me shake in my core with sadness (fortunately, seeing as this book was chock full of them), but in that moment when things were going from bad to worse, and the group was getting smaller, I knew you would be gone and it broke my heart. And at the hands -- or mouths -- of mutts, too. I read most of this book and just kept going but that stopped me. I stopped. I read it twice, maybe three times. And I had to look up and let it sink in. Finnick, one of those I was really rooting for and who I knew in the back of my mind would meet an unfair fate, was really gone. After suffering so much, your body being sold so you could satisfy the crude hunger of the thoughtless wealthy Capitol dwellers and keep your loved ones alive. You deserved better. But you made the choice, you knew the stakes, and Annie (albeit, she's crazy, but her love was undeniable), she couldn't be more proud to have had you, and your child will be a testament to the great being you were. My God, you were something. Easily one of my favorite characters in the trilogy. If these books do become movies, you had better be cast by a kickass fella to do you justice.
Also, Finnick/Annie FTW. Seriously. That's just beautiful.
Prim.
As soon as I realized it was rebel medics coming in on those kids, I knew she were there. And I knew it wasn't over. And my throat closed up because I knew this is Collins writing, and she won't shy away from doing the most cruel and heartbreaking thing imaginable. So Prim died. She didn't suffer. But after all the trouble Katniss went to protecting her - from the very beginning, taking her place for the Games - it had to end that way, when the war was over and it was merely a malicious act to seal the deal. So heartbreaking.
The small white bird tinged in pink dives down, buries her claws in my chest, and tries to keep me afloat. "No, Katniss! No! You can't go!"
But the ones I hated are winning, and if she clings to me, she'll be lost as well. "Prim, let go!" And finally she does.
While obviously the most tragic thing in the book, it didn't affect me the same way Finnick's death did. I was more prepared for it. It gave me a more empty sorrow. Prim would no longer harbor pain for others. But she was still one that I didn't expect to go, after everything that happened. Yet she of course would be the one to make me feel that "everything happens for a reason" feeling. (Oh and to President Coin, not such a RIP for you, you scum of the earth.) Prim was really one character I felt impossible not to admire and love. I feel like going out and buying the sweetest possible blonde kitten and naming her Prim.
Also, a shoutout to everyone leaving comments to this thread: SO GLAD WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE.
Finnick's death just HIT like a brick. It was THE death that ripped my heart out.
Cinna. I knew he was gone in the second book, I was sure of it, so getting confirmation was just a reminder. It was still so sad though. I adored Cinna. Another favorite character by far. It's hard to talk about that though when he wasn't in this book so much as a symbol. It was hard though to see how much he was involved in the rebellion and how much he cared for Katniss by thinking everything through. He knew he would be killed. He wasn't going to leave her helpless. So much love for him.
Boggs. Oh you grew on me! At first it felt like Haymitch: round two, but then I could see the differences. It was sad to see yet another endearing character get killed. I should know that when I get attached to Hunger Games characters, they're screwed. (Though I'll be the first to admit, when his final words involved "kill Peeta," I was a tad put-off.) But I forgive it. I see a bit of what Boggs is doing, and he was trying to protect Katniss at all costs. Also, he and Finnick? Way cute. "Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear." Let the AU fanfics begin!
Johanna. Just a quick note. Her I liked. It would be cool for her to stick around a bit, pop in on Katniss every so often. I can absolutely see fanfics spouting about her. Her character fit so well, balanced Katniss' ridiculousness at times and gave me something to laugh at when I was depressed.
Haymitch. Oh, that man. That silly drunken man. He makes me laugh, he pisses me off, he makes me cry. He's full of surprises and I don't know how I could have made it reading the books without him. Finally, a character I was drawn to that didn't die. The little messed up family that is Haymitch, Katniss and Peeta lives on.
Madge. WTH?! For someone who I imagine to have a bit of importance, she was ignored. When Greasy Sae gets more airtime, I am concerned. Madge started the whole Mockingjay symbolism, you'd think it would be a bigger deal that she's killed. Just one paragraph of grief would have been nice.
Katniss. What I wouldn't give to award you with a good ol' bitchslap. Sometimes you really needed it. I could go on a huge rampage but it's useless because everybody else understands what I mean. Particularly with the love triangle. I know love is confusing, I have personal experience with feelings for two guys at once, but it's not that messed up, and the guys deserve better when they stick by you through all your crap. But one of the things that totally irked me, still burns in my skull, is how she voted in favor of another Hunger Games. HELL NO, she did not just do that. That was part of the very thing they were fighting. It's one thing to be bitter about the death of Prim and go kill Snow. That's forgivable. Sending Capitol children to fight to the death when she knows very well what that's like and how it continually haunts her... that's completely offensive and makes me dislike her. And seeing as she just killed Coin anyway, it felt unnecessary. I understand change; a heck of a lot happened between pre-Games Katniss and Mockingjay Katniss. But Collins took the interesting, vulnerable yet badass Katniss in the Hunger Games and broke her down. I still feel like she was Katniss but it was an unwelcome transformation. However -- I do have lots of these, because I'm torn between loving and hating different aspects -- I like that there are good and bad things about Katniss. If she was perfect and handled everything the right way, I'd hate her. How uncreative and predictable. If she was stubborn and useless, I'd hate her for being so meaningless. So for her to be the way she was makes me pretty content. I'm always one to say that flaws in a person make him or her special and meaningful.
And to randomly recall some big moments. Gale calling for Katniss to kill him. So truly heartwrenching, I felt pain. I was honestly hurt. I, myself, love Peeta more than anything, but I still love Gale and that was just so hard to encounter. Literally. The memory of it is still ringing in my head. But then if I combined all of those moments together, those painful memories, between Gale and Peeta, I'd be a miserable wreck.
Also, the singing. I am a singer, vocalist, musician, whatever you want to call it. So to read it painted some sort of faint tune in my head and I wish I could just sit at my piano and make it into something. "The Haunting Tree" song especially is so haunting. I am, as I've stated in a comment elsewhere, stunned by how it was singing that carried her out of the fog of misery, brought her back once Prim was killed and everything seemed over. It's kind of amazing.
"You're still trying to protect me. Real or not real," he whispers.
"Real," I answer. It seems to require more explanation.
"Because that’s what you and I do. Protect eachother."
Really, Katniss? You were denying your love for him with all this $#!% rolling around in your head? It was there, the whole time, and I absolutely hate admitting it because quite frankly, usually I'm right and close to spot-on when it comes to predicting these kinds of things. But I was in the last hundred pages, saying to myself, ok you're going to choose Gale so can we just get this all over with? And then.. not so much. Then I read this and I knew what would happen. I knew at least that Katniss wouldn't be with Gale. Ugh. Katniss is so strong in many ways and so weak in others. I thought the pain of losing her Peeta would drive her to keep Gale, and it pretty much did to an extent. But that backfired because it became so clear that they're too alike to be in love. It made sense at a time though for them to be together, because it was Gale, who would always look out for her and was her closest friend, even though I know that in her heart, the way she felt about Peeta could never be replicated. The way she acts with him, feels about him... I mean, THE BEACH. Need I say more? Losing him would just be so destructive. I felt my sanity slipping when I saw what had happened to him but I immediately thought, what is it, Stockholm syndrome? Peeta would never in his right mind strangle Katniss. Key words: right mind. I had such a hard time dealing with Peeta's sufffering but the flickers of the real Peeta were there and I clung to those like mad. If he came back, all would be well.
So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not real?"
I tell him, "Real."
Cue me, temporarily brain dead. A few seconds of a heart not beating, a spell of dizzy confusion, and then, sheer elation.
Brings tears to mine eyes.
HECK YEAH.
Fangirls around the world are sputtering, crying, and flailing. Real or not real?
REAL. SO VERY REAL.
This wasn't as powerful as the "always" quote but it made it final that they really ended together. And actually I'm going to change my wording because "chose" feels strange, to say Katniss chose Peeta. She didn't outright choose because she didn't have to. She let the chips fall where they may, and fate put her with Peeta.
I would also like to take a moment to announce that I liked Snow. Before you get too attached to that awkward eyebrow raise of disapproval or scoff at me, I don't mean I'm his number one fan and I would so like to have been by his side as he orchestrated the deaths of hundreds of people. No. But he was wonderfully well-written. I hated him, of course, but my sister can attest to the fact that when I was reading the first book, I said aloud, "I like him." Yeah, he's an ass. But he was a good character. I hate to make yet another Harry Potter analogy, but it's like how I like Voldemort but I despise Umbridge with every fiber of my being. Some evil characters are just ridiculous and you could wish upon them the Killing Curse without a second thought; meanwhile others are so maniacal and chilling that their cleverness cannot go unignored. So pretty much everything with Snow was awesome. Scenes that involved him meant excellent writing, especially that lovely plot "twist' where Katniss kills Coin instead. Perfect. And Snow dies anyway. It's just absolutely good writing. And Paylor being elected as president made me happy. Snow was horrific, Coin would have sucked, and if Katniss for some stupid reason was elected, I would have lost respect for Collins. But nope. She pulled through.
LOTS OF TYPING. OHMYWORD.
So having read this, I feel bruised. I don't think I can casually pick this book up and read it anytime soon. It was dark and depressing and I was so ridiculously attached to it all, hanging on each word. But that's the beauty of it. I was enthralled because it was so real for being a work of fiction. It wasn't predictable, it wasn't at all normal. I didn't find the protagonist perfect, and the ending wasn't flowery but it came together being believable. All in all, I was very satisfied, and I commend Suzanne Collins on a job well done.
I'm going to have to make quote icons now. Suggestions?