" you broke the rules to try and contain me, you broke 'em and now you have untamed me. I go wild"
you rip me open just to tear me down.
ummm...I'really cold, out heater broke again. saw stephen today. I miss him. we had so much fun and in the family tradition taught Kathers some new words including what the phrases, tossing someones salad, panckus and tea bagging were. I really do miss him tons. I love you my babbins.
Went to mugsys to watch the yankees/redsocks game. the yankees lost damn it. and plus I said something that really hurt andrews feelings and I feel really bad about it. I've cried 3 times over what I said already and he has told me that it all right and I that if I knew about it I wouldn't have made the joke i did, but I still feel really bad and shit about it.
I wish that he knew that I thought about him. but I will never be that person that he imagines himself with. why is that you might ask, because any of you that read this know, I am not just any girl, or your typical girl, I care about things that girls don't care about and I don't care about tings that girls do care about.
" Tell me what you've come for? what is it you adore? what would you cry for?, swallow your pride for?"
Phoenix I miss you. I'm listening to some of life as a house and i miss you. even though at the last practice I remember some of you bitching that no one was there to lead warm ups with the guard. and that " it would be really nice if an instructor was there with you" but I hate to mention it but I was fighting the whole time for the corps . I argued for hours about where the guard was gonna go. I told them all that you were all way to talented to be going somewhere that didn't accept your talent as it was. I cried for each and everyone of you and you still had some shit to talk. what the fuck. so what, so I can't write like anthony. but I can dance. ANd you know what, esp. to all of you that doubted me, I hope you get a good look on the WGI videos this year when I have a close up on the world ind. videos. so take that and shove it up your concited asses. I'm mother fucking world class and have been asked by more than 1 yes that's right let me spell it out for you, more than one world class winter guard to join. I had the luxery of picking a guard, so fuck you.
I guess I know why no one wants me. it's because no one can handle a girl like me. men can handle a girl like #&@(*#&$&$($ because she becomes what ever you need or want instead of being just her. she can become anything to anyone if she wants to, but she will never know who she really is. And well i guess she has the worse outcome there and the sadder story. if anyone ever loves me again at least I'll let them know that I'm the way I am and nothing can really change it and I will always be crazy and it's how I am and what I am and that if you want part of me you will have to deal with all of me. I wish that was something you could handle but I really don't think that you could "deal with" or " handle" me.sad isn't it. I know you are strong enough. but proving it to you is another thing. esp. since you won't look in my direction except for to say hello and to keep on going. Don't be this sad person who grows attached to the wrong girl. you grow attached to easily it seems. you might as well keep up the fight till " the girl" comes along. or at least try something new and different from what you expected. I know that it's me, but you wont ever reason with it. sad huh. I still wonder is it worth the battle. prove it to me............................ prove to me somehow your worth this batttle. prove to me that you were worth my time. worth my thoughts. I know you are, just prove it.
I'm freezing, maybe it's sympothy freexing of the limbs for Kasey, but for the love I am so cold. I need to drink something hot. either coffee or wine is going to be going for the gold with me tonight.
I guess that this is all for tonight. I can't wait for tcnj this weekend, than after the tcnj comp. going to jimmys for a "small gathering" with a band and shit.
hugs, kristen.......................
" I go wild cause you break me open, wild cause you left me here, I go wild cause your promises are broken,wild when I know your near"
" your not the only one who lives on instincts no I've got instincts of my own........... you've got alot of nerve to come back here, plan your attack and I am still waiting, did you want something?"
ummm...I'really cold, out heater broke again. saw stephen today. I miss him. we had so much fun and in the family tradition taught Kathers some new words including what the phrases, tossing someones salad, panckus and tea bagging were. I really do miss him tons. I love you my babbins.
Went to mugsys to watch the yankees/redsocks game. the yankees lost damn it. and plus I said something that really hurt andrews feelings and I feel really bad about it. I've cried 3 times over what I said already and he has told me that it all right and I that if I knew about it I wouldn't have made the joke i did, but I still feel really bad and shit about it.
I wish that he knew that I thought about him. but I will never be that person that he imagines himself with. why is that you might ask, because any of you that read this know, I am not just any girl, or your typical girl, I care about things that girls don't care about and I don't care about tings that girls do care about.
" Tell me what you've come for? what is it you adore? what would you cry for?, swallow your pride for?"
Phoenix I miss you. I'm listening to some of life as a house and i miss you. even though at the last practice I remember some of you bitching that no one was there to lead warm ups with the guard. and that " it would be really nice if an instructor was there with you" but I hate to mention it but I was fighting the whole time for the corps . I argued for hours about where the guard was gonna go. I told them all that you were all way to talented to be going somewhere that didn't accept your talent as it was. I cried for each and everyone of you and you still had some shit to talk. what the fuck. so what, so I can't write like anthony. but I can dance. ANd you know what, esp. to all of you that doubted me, I hope you get a good look on the WGI videos this year when I have a close up on the world ind. videos. so take that and shove it up your concited asses. I'm mother fucking world class and have been asked by more than 1 yes that's right let me spell it out for you, more than one world class winter guard to join. I had the luxery of picking a guard, so fuck you.
I guess I know why no one wants me. it's because no one can handle a girl like me. men can handle a girl like #&@(*#&$&$($ because she becomes what ever you need or want instead of being just her. she can become anything to anyone if she wants to, but she will never know who she really is. And well i guess she has the worse outcome there and the sadder story. if anyone ever loves me again at least I'll let them know that I'm the way I am and nothing can really change it and I will always be crazy and it's how I am and what I am and that if you want part of me you will have to deal with all of me. I wish that was something you could handle but I really don't think that you could "deal with" or " handle" me.sad isn't it. I know you are strong enough. but proving it to you is another thing. esp. since you won't look in my direction except for to say hello and to keep on going. Don't be this sad person who grows attached to the wrong girl. you grow attached to easily it seems. you might as well keep up the fight till " the girl" comes along. or at least try something new and different from what you expected. I know that it's me, but you wont ever reason with it. sad huh. I still wonder is it worth the battle. prove it to me............................ prove to me somehow your worth this batttle. prove to me that you were worth my time. worth my thoughts. I know you are, just prove it.
I'm freezing, maybe it's sympothy freexing of the limbs for Kasey, but for the love I am so cold. I need to drink something hot. either coffee or wine is going to be going for the gold with me tonight.
I guess that this is all for tonight. I can't wait for tcnj this weekend, than after the tcnj comp. going to jimmys for a "small gathering" with a band and shit.
hugs, kristen.......................
" I go wild cause you break me open, wild cause you left me here, I go wild cause your promises are broken,wild when I know your near"
" your not the only one who lives on instincts no I've got instincts of my own........... you've got alot of nerve to come back here, plan your attack and I am still waiting, did you want something?"