Bays Mountain
Last Wednesday we took the Day Care kids to Bays Mountain. I really like that place. The strange thing was I had a dream a few days ago about a place very similar. It was so freaky when we got to the entrance cause it was almost like in my dream. Hadn't been there since the 1st grade though. I remember seeing the river otters and sticking my arm in the cage trying to pet them. I touched the big stuffed bear that the teacher said not to and talked thru the movie too. I was and still am such a mean kid! Luckly, my lil' kids were nothing like that! While we were eating lunch, a squirrel, raccoon, and deer came very close to us and the kids got so excited. Then we walked thru the park and saw a deer, baby deer, some owls and other birds, and a sleeping wolf and bobcat. The kids made really loud wolf sounds but even all those yelling kids couldn't wake em up! We walked to the big lake and it was beautiful. I wished so badly that I had a guy (really Andy Drew was the only one I thought about) to hold me and give me a kiss by the lake. Instead, I had to hold a lil' girl up so she could see over the fence. I missed Lil' Jarrod too, wish he could have come with me. Maybe his mom will let him come on one of our trips this summer, hopefully. One lil' boy reminded me of Lil' Jarrod though, they are all such cute kids!
Later that day when it was nap time, one of my lil' boys said "I Love You!" He picked me some flowers when we went outside and hugs me all the time! My lil' boyfriend is so cute, too bad he's only 5, LOL Isn't it so sad that a lil 5 year old knows how to treat a girl better than these grown up guys do? Even when you fuss with the lil' ones, in a few minutes they have forgotten all about it and everything is alright again. We made lil people out of popsicle sticks that day too. John made a lil' Superman, but for some reason my lil' person looked like Andy Drew. 208.25 hours til I'm finished!
Friday I got out of Day Care early, so went by to see Sara. We had a great time and watched Date Movie. It was interesting, LOL. Had to stop at Food City after I left her house. For some reason I felt a lil' different than usual yesterday evening. Anyways, I asked the bread man if he had big buns, LOL. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't find the big hamburger buns! Saw Oreo at Food Lion today and that was the 5 happiest minutes of my day ; ) Found out from him that our phone isn't working. We can call out and use the internet, but nobody can call us. It rings half a ring then cuts them off, so strange. No wonder we hadn't gotten a phone call in over a week! This evening I sprayed the pets with flea and tick spray. Popo and Tigger behaved so well. Popo let me brush her and Tigger let me dry her off with the towel. Nikki wouldn't come out of her house and rolled in the dirt while she was wet. Ikey just ran in circles but it was fun aiming that spray at him. Limpy bit me cause she's a lil devil. I don't know what's got into that cat, but I'm about ready just to throw her in the bushes and say take care of yourself!
Really wish this depressed feeling would go away. Seems nothing I can do eases the pain. I love my job. Working in a Church has helped my thoughts too. I'm exercising and eating less (which isn't good, cause I get sick when I do eat). I even feel a lil more confident about driving. What hurts so much is that God finally sent a great guy into my life and I messed it up. I had a guy to see movies with, to take me out to eat, but most of all someone who loved me. I had someone to hold me tight and make me feel special. I think he would have done anything for me in the beginning. Now all I do is set here and think of what could have been. Guess that is being selfish. I should just enjoy what I do have. I just can't stand the thought of knowing what I caused to happen. There are so many happy couples that wouldn't be together today if they hadn't gave each other another chance. They could have just called it quits after one fight, but instead they loved each other enough to work their differences out. It's not right to start something then run away from it when things get a bit rough. I'd give just about anything to have another chance...
"Once Upon a Time I was Falling in Love, Now I'm Only Falling Apart"