ahhh...
ok well. its been awhile since i last updated. buttttt... i went to el concert and it was muy bien. coulda been better but look at that hottie from DC. yes i know. your jealous he had sex w/ me in the back. they literally rocked my pants.
i hung out with xtina as usual for immense amounts of time. not really i cant really remember.. spent the night w/ at her home thrusday nothing exciting, just the usual hot sex. and the mtv movie awards!! mmm that was hot. oh and we worked out, damn i love that wall... i went to the phoencian yesterday w/ hannah, allie, xtina, and then xtina spent the night. it was fun. today i went to the gym w/ xtina and then mall with shay shay and greg, brian, and chris. we bought 'sounds of sex' it was again, muy bien (you are sooooo good shay)
i havent talked to my love in so long. i mean like an acutal conversation. its been like a week. and it bugs me. i reallllly want to see him. and his cell has been off. and i cant call his house anymore cause i loo like a stalker, and he hasnt been online. isnt that saddening?
YAH YAH. well, hey lush, have fun, its the weekend..
quotes for today::
its when im standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much i love you and how much i miss you that i just want to scream to the whole room that im still in love with you. its when im sitting alone with the phone in my hand dialing your number and hoping you won't hang up that i would trade a thousands tomorrows for one more day with you. then i would just call you tell you good night. its when i am really sad about something and need someone to talk to that i realize you're the only one who really knew me at all. its when i cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much i would give anything have you hold me at that very moment. its when i think about you that i realize no one in the world is meant for me but you. i miss the way you told me you really loved me, but thats what happens when a couple breaks up, the love fades, and you have to get used to not hearing 'i miss you' or 'i love you' anymore. and the rest of your days are spent on trying to let go, or trying to move on. or convincing that still hopeful heart of yours that there isn't a chance left in the world that you'll both end up being together again. then you have to face the heartache that comes with the thought of your love being with someone else and realize your chances of ever being with them again are getting more and more thin each day..
Tears down my ceek. sobs in my throat. you will never feel my pain. ill love you forever with all my heart. im sure you'll never feel the same. everytime someone mentions your name my head turns right tward them. its like everytime i hear you i think of all that we could have had, and all that could have happeend that didnt. i sit here pouring my heart out to you and what i get in return is a confused face. its hard to lose someone you so love, so please forgive me for trying to hold on... but i will never forget your eyes.. they are undrescirable. they are just the type you wanna look into and try to find something, but you cant, so u just keep looking... cause they are so great.